scottfall said:
Alright, so I know the sosuave rule of thumb is get the kiss before the end of date number two. Well, it hasent happened yet. Not really stressing over it but maybe I should. There has been little to no kino on our dates. Its funny, before I asked her out there was all kinds of kino from her end. Grabbing my arm, rubbing my back, bumping into me. But after I asked her out, nothing. Maybe she expects me to initate, whcih makes sense.
So, what do I do now? The first date went alright. Was a little bit awkward, conversation seemed forced. The second date was last night and I feel like we really hit it off. Had a good time. The only problem is the kino. No hand holding, no compliments, no nothing. I fear the friend zone and know I am heading there quick if I dont make a move. Shes made it clear that she has other options.
So, heres what Im thinking of doing. Calling her today for a movie date saturday. Movie date = kino date, right?
Any advice?
Alight, this is going to be a bit of a rant but it's not specifically about your situation but how a lot of guys are going about (mis)using seduction information. First and foremost "rules," pfffffftttttt...... This isn't a pickup game of flag football or softball fellas. Rules are used when
all parties agree to follow them for some predetermined, agreed upon goal. Why the hell do guys believe that this concept work with women escapes me. Well, actually it doesn't. Men by nature like things to happen in a predictable order so that they can feel more in control of the situation... yadda... yadda... yadda.... Boring psycho-babble shullbit (shullbit - figure it out).
Anyway, these so called rules are either holding guys back or making them worried, anxious and apprehensive. My suggestion is to use what you learn as
concepts which can be easily tweaked and massaged to your liking (much like breast) and made to work
in conjunction with your personality and the situation at hand. The concepts should guide you, not hold you back. Remember my rants (er, posts) about email addresses and phone numbers being a waste most of the time, there's an example.
Now as your situation I can guess at a few rules you're following that are in fact working against you.
- Seem disinterested
- Have action dates
- Kiss close by date #2 or next her
- Drink in order to get comfortable
There may be a couple of more but that was all that were blatant. Now, instead of using these rules, consider the concepts that they are trying to instill:
- Don't treat the situation as if she was the last woman on Earth, you had an incurable disease and the antidote could only be found in her uterus.
- Be comfortable during your date. Men feel most comfortable when they are doing something which is a distraction. Unfortunately the way that women gain initial interest is by direct interaction with the guy. How do batting cages help you achieve this?
- Things seem to work better when mutual chemistry is established sooner than later. Men read this as getting a goodnight kiss or better yet getting laid. Yeah, that works but there are a ton of other option which don't involve bodily fluid believe it or not.
- Even though you may be nervous during the date, with effort you can turn it into charismatic energy which could attract the woman. Why would you take a depressant in order to make you more comfortable? Call it loosening your inhibitions if you'd like, all it truly does is take away your self control; very sexy. Drink if you enjoy the taste of alcohol, don't use it as a crutch believing it will make you the man that you'd like to be.
Now for your situation, following the rules have set you back. Don't believe me, consider how the two of you got along before you asked her out and started following "the rules." You even pointed out what probably slowed you down (the lack of kino). Like Gangster of Love said, you need to step it up man (if it's not too late).
Next time if something is working like playful kino, don't let rules stop you from doing what seems to be working (busy trying to do what you feel is right than what actually works). I'm not saying forget what you've learned but it's no way a perfect guide to interact with women. You need to take what you've learned and implement it in a manner that works for you while paying attention to your environment in order to make adjustments when necessary.
