Turning down women because of ethics

[MackJr]

I've found that I've had some opportunities with women that wanted me but I've turned them down. One woman is married, and I decided not to harm her marriage by seducing her (or specifically complete the seduction) because she appears to legitimately love her husband and son.

The second one isn't married, but she has a kid. In both instances I felt that the problems I'd create for myself by getting involved with these women wouldn't be worth the piece of ass I'd receive in return.

These aren't unusual choices for me; I've always been very ethical. I had to relax mine a little bit just to get past the reality that some manipulation is involved in any successful social interchange. However, I kind of wonder what people tend to think about this sort of thing. Being a DJ doesn't mean that you have to chase every tail, correct?

 

[MrHarris]

I would never try to seduce a married woman. But if it is as you said she loves her husband then you wouldn't of scored anyways.


Women with children are not a problem for me.

 

[Andromax]

Being a DJ doesn't mean that you have to chase every tail, correct?

It's about being as successful as you want to be with the women, (and people in general) that you interact with. If for some reason you like to be a home wrecker (not that you do) then thats the cards you play.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

I think one of the keys to being a DJ is choice. It should free you to do what you want. Not what your mom, some girl, society, or even this board seems to want you to do.

Ideally, in changing your life you will gain more power and must take more responsibility and should give increased thought to ethics.

A lot of guys regret their AFC days here. They wasted their time and now they regret it. If you learn to be a DJ and use it unethically you may well regret the wasted time and the diseases and worse, the others lives you've made worse. AFCs mostly harm themselves. You can change that and move on. DJs can harm others and there's not much you can do to correct it.

The testosterone runs a little high in here so an ethic board would be ugly but I think we should acknowledge we will all have to live with our choices.

 

[So Many Ways]

I've turned down chicks due to "ethics" as well. It's your life, you have to make these kind of decisions for yourself, not for others.

 

[Bonhomme]

I've done this too

Yeah, I have a big aversion to having anything to do with a married woman. But women with kids I don't see as an ethical issue: more a practical issue. I have no poroblem with it, but have very rarely dated a woman with kids.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Another man wouldn't do the same for me.

No one told those men to marry hoes.

 

[Jariel]

Without your values you're not much of a man. Everyone has their own ideals, but if you act on what you believe, you should hold your head up high.

There are more important things in life than getting laid.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My morality comes into question in this forum quite a bit. No, I wouldn't seduce a married woman away from her husband but I've allowed married women to seduce me. Guy's tell me "you wouldn't want your woman sleeping around with other guys" and I tell them that my woman wouldn't.

Fellas, you live in your own reality and your own morals and ideals. Whatever works for you is fine, however choosing a 'common' morality is as bad as denouncing another's morality because it isn't like your own. Do what works for you and you'll be alright.

Now if you want a reason to turn down a woman, take a look at this thread.

Enjoy...

 

[Big Ghetto Frank]

dont know if theres a lingo thread or anything, but whats an AFC??

 

[Nightspark]

AFC = Average Frustratred Chump, Big Ghetto Frank. In the world there types of AFCs and DJs (Im sure u all know about the WBAFC (WB = Way below) and the RAFC (R = Recovering)) We use AFC to denonunce that these are the types of guys we're evolving from. The Nice Guys so to say, the ones afraid of their Maleness.

Hope that answered it?

 

[Big Ghetto Frank]

haha yeh, thanks dude. even the lingo on this site is getting me in the mood to start trolling again.

 

[PRMoon]

I've come across several girls who are either A. Married or B. Single with Child. Though I wouldn't say I persue these ladies, I would say I'm not above talking, interacting with, and some times flirting with the two.

Again I site my town as a reason as is so often the case. About 32 million people come to Vegas every year and 2000 move here to live every month. So you get volumes of people moving in and out of the city constantly and you're bound to run into a bit of every taste.

Women who are married and have divorced several time in the past and are on the cusp of which again, I have no problem taking home. Just like a drug dealer, if it wasn't me it would of been some one else. If I meet a nice girl, woman who is sitting in a bar/casino/ club and we get to talking and she mentions her wonderful family I will still talk to them but with no intent on hooking up. Maybe they have hot friends who are also in town! Or better still they're part of a bachelorette party!!! Opportunity knocks and if I parley a newly kindled friendship into something a little more interesting, then I feel there's no harm no foul.

I love women with kids. In vegas I've met sooooo many hot strippers who have kids. They often send them away to there pops house or ex bf or what ever. Plus if you put out the "I'm just in it for the sex" vibe and that's the direction she's also looking to go (and a TON of them are) then again I don't feel like you've broken any ethical rules. Although if it's a nice girl who's fallen behind on bills and is desperate to find a man who'll take care of her and her child or children as the case may go, and you are just shopping around not knowing what you want... then I would do everybody a big favor and move on.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

I respect what you did MackJr. Destroying a marriage is not a nice thing to do. There is no excuse to ruin the lives of the kids involved. Not even if the wife is hot and a rating of a 10, she is still not worth the trouble for you, and what happens to the kids of the marriage.

NO WOMAN IS WORTH DESTROYING SOMEBODY ELSES MARRIAGE!

They say a man's mission in life is to find a woman, settle down and start a family. So that man acomplished his mission, why do you want to ruin what took hard work for him to obtain? a wife, children, a family, these are things that earn a man respect in my opinion, he should be respected for it.

about the single woman with the kid: single moms carry a lot of mental baggage, save yourself the trouble and find someone else.

There is plenty of fish in the sea. No need to take a mans wife/pursue single moms who are more trouble than anything.

 

[Delta]

meh,

in the situation being described, she's more than willing to go.

why do you think that is?

the guilty party is probably not so much any third party intruder than the 'hoe' who is so willing to throw away her life, her marriage, her hubby and her kids.

you could think about it as doing the guy a favor actually....

in the divorce proceedings, the culpability and the claims would definitely go against her.

actually... in a way... it's a win win.



delta

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by MackJr Being a DJ doesn't mean that you have to chase every tail, correct? [/B]

Dude - you're nuts to ask this. You decide it for yourself.

That ethics thing is good. Saves you from the extra trouble.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by Joe The Homophobe
I respect what you did MackJr. Destroying a marriage is not a nice thing to do. There is no excuse to ruin the lives of the kids involved. Not even if the wife is hot and a rating of a 10, she is still not worth the trouble for you, and what happens to the kids of the marriage.

You give guys too much credit. The truth about relationships is that if a person (man or woman) chooses infidelity, the person they cheat with is not the reason for their infidelity. There was something going on in their relationship way before they chose to cheat. It's much easier to blame a third party instead of looking at what's not working in the relationship.

 

[Bonhomme]

The cheating spouse is to blame

I agree that the married person who cheats is the one to blame, not the person they cheat with. Usually "if not you, someone else" does apply. If you care to deal with the potential fallout.

I still have yet to hook up with anybody who's married or in a committed relationship, though I'd think nothing of it if they made it clear to me they were either in an open relationship or bailing out of their current arrangement.

I must be out of touch, but I would not consider marrying somebody unless I really did intend it to be until either she or I dies. There's a lot of "serial matrimony" going on these days.

 

[RedKnight04]

You give guys too much credit. The truth about relationships is that if a person (man or woman) chooses infidelity, the person they cheat with is not the reason for their infidelity. There was something going on in their relationship way before they chose to cheat. It's much easier to blame a third party instead of looking at what's not working in the relationship.

This is a valid point. I just moved and slept for over a month with a woman who was engaged. At first I didn't mind it but I felt bad eventually. And the guy was in the army too. I FELT REALLY $HITTY!! But then I thought like Francisco up on that quote. She did tell me all the things that he was lacking in both the bedroom and personality. THE WHOLE NINE YARDS.

 

[00Kevin]

A girl with bad ethics or rather one with ethics that are different then yours is usless.

Nothing wrong with nexting them if you are looking for an LTR.

If a girl doesn't respect you for what you belive in and for whatyou stand for then F_UCK her.