Hey guys, first time user/poster here and I just stumbled upon this thread through google and couldn't believe how useful it sounded and how likely it seemed to work. Except for one thing...
But I suppose I should give a bit of my story first so you guys can get an idea of what I suppose I need advice with. Brace yourselves, it's a long explanation for a sort of short story, but hey, even if you don't help, I'd like to be able to get all my thoughts out and vent at least.
So we were dating for about two months. I know, it sounds so short or whatever, but we started talking a couple of months prior to that and well, I just felt so great about being with her. We had so many similar values, got along great, never fought or argued.... but then, LITERALLY overnight, things got awkward, we couldn't feel comfortable talking with each other, we just couldn't think of things to say, etc. etc.... along with that she had just started her year of varsity soccer for our high school and had been dealing with a big load of school work. So exactly ten days later (Yes, I counted), we mutually decided we didn't have time for a relationship right now.
And so I went home after school and just texted her to sort of clear things up about the terms of our breakup because we both sort of discussed the idea of eventually getting back together, she said "if things change, they change, but for now I need to be broken up." and that went very well, it ended on a positive note. The day after, her birthday, I texted her telling her I probably shouldn't sit at the lunch table with her anymore and she said "Whatever floats your boat. I think you have a good point." and then after that, I texted her a happy birthday text and she said "thanks!" and that's how it stayed until three days later....
I was under the impression that we would stop talking but not stop acknowledging each other's presence in the hallways and such altogether! So I naturally caved and texted her that I felt it would be a good idea to maybe still talk, albeit much less. and she responded that "we can still be friends but I kinda put that 'restriction' in there for a reason. Between soccer and school right now I don't really have time to talk to anybody." And I said I just "wanted to clarify things before we make permanent problems" and to that she said "there aren't problems unless you make them problems" And I'd like you guys to know that she has continued to talk and hang out with her friends, something I assume would not take less time than doing the same thing with a boyfriend.
And it sat like that before I finally entirely caved and texted the following message, I feel, might make things much harder for the No Contact Rule to fully work:
"In honesty, I've been confused with how to deal with this and what to do about it lately. I've never had so much trouble figuring something like this out before. I don't want to lose a friend because of a forced distancing, but I also don't want to force myself back into a relationship with someone who very very much needs space and time to herself. The way we changed so suddenly and drastically was rather confusing. I want to be honest with you and I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing. Sorry for the painfully long text"
And guess what, she hasn't responded.
It's been exactly 16 days since I sent that. And tomorrow will mark exactly three weeks since we broke up.
And what has happened since has been, well, I'd like to call it almost a cold war. Apart from a comic strip picture about cats I sent her on Facebook (she has a cat) two days after THAT, we have not talked since. All we have done is walk past each other in the hallways awkwardly, or at least that's how I perceive it.
So now that I have given you my rather unnecessarily long and detailed description of my situation and story, here is my big question:
Does anything in this situation change anything about the no contact rule and will it still work?
If possible, I'd like to be able to still ask her to Prom which is on May 16, but of course I'd need maybe at LEAST 2-3 weeks time before that to ask her 'lest some other guy does.
Thanks so so so much for any advice and guidance you guys could give me. I know it is likely a lot to ask for advice, much less actually reading that behemoth of a post.
Have a good day guys!
