The misuse/overuse of C&P

[thecraftylefty]

Lately, what I've been seeing in the community is that guys don't know how, or more precisely how much, C&P to use on a girl. Most guys will overcompensate by using too much instead of too little C&P. Seems like a practical idea. But then the guy goes too far and can't back up his ****y with funny or he doesn't do anything but try to be ****y and playful. This is bad.

You see, you guys don't know when to transition from a high point and then let off of the C&F for a while and shift to a more rapport based conversational mode. After a few jokes and playful humour and whatnot, merge the conversation into one where you can relate and connect with each other instead of bickering back ****y and funny crap all day long because that will get you nowhere.

The overabuse of C&P will be your downfall if you don't keep it in check. Learn to guage responses and (for lack of a better term) "phase shift" the mood to a more relaxed yet controlled setting.

Become a good observer and make practical decisions when dealing with women. Don't try to figure them out, let them do it for you .

"If your rap is strong it can't go wrong."

thecraftylefty

 

[happyhourhero]

Definitely agree with ya here. In most cases i try to just keep an interesting conversation going and throw in the c/f whenever the chance arises (she says something dumb, does something dumb, makes a mistake etc.). When i first learned about c/f i tried to make everything i said c/f and it just comes off lame when you try to do that.

There are certain rare occasions like when the girl is stuck up and super hot but like thecraftylefty said - observe and pay attention. Feel out the situation to find the right mix.

 

[The Main Event]

Originally posted by thecraftylefty
Lately, what I've been seeing in the community is that guys don't know how much C&P to use on a girl. Most guys will overcompensate by using too much instead of too little C&P. The guy goes too far and can't back up his ****y with funny or he doesn't do anything but try to be ****y and playful. This is bad.

Oh so true.

This problem stems from the fact that there are many people in the dating game looking for a quick fix. Actually, more than that ... they're looking for a quick and *simple* fix. To these people, "****y and funny" is the Holy Grail.

Let's step back for a moment and work out exactly what "****y and funny" is.

The term, of course, was popularised by the author of the Double Your Dating e-book (whose real name is not David d'Angelo, incidentally), and refers to an attitude that encompasses a sense of humour, a tongue-in-cheek approach to social interactions and a certain degree of alpha male confidence. All good things when kept in the right proportions. Even better when you comprehend the underlying logic, but we'll ignore that fact for the moment.

The concept has become popular for a few reasons. First, it's widely available. The newsletters are free, and everyone with a file-sharing program can get their very own copy of Double Your Dating. "David D" also expresses the point very clearly; I'll give him marks for that. And, finally, it's both simple and easy to put into action.

The consequence of that last point is that people who balk at the hard work involved in self-improvement or who can't be bothered getting their head around more substantial concepts such as challenge or effective conversation are quick to jump on the "****y and funny" bandwagon.

They're going to see a superficial boost in women's initial reactions to them, and that leads them to think they've found a panacea. Ergo, there's no need to explore more subtle or more sophisticated concepts.

You see that impressive-looking "forum members" tally at the top of these boards? Must be upwards of 9,000 by now. Sad truth is, many of those 9,000+ aren't going to derive any benefit from the DJ forums.

They're the sort of people who think, "Cool! A board that helps me get chicks. Better sign up ... There we go. Now, let's start reading. Oh, some of this stuff looks a bit hard. Huh? What, they want me to go five days without calling? WTF? They're trying to get me to go to the gym to lose weight? Well, if it's the only way ... Oh, wait a sec! David D says all I have to do is make smart-alec one-liners. He's so cool! Much easier than trying to make myself a more desireable man! David D is my hero! I'd better log off this board before all the talk of hard work gives me a nervous breakdown! I'll just log back on from time to time to ask for a list of 'c+f' examples."

That's the sort of person you're dealing with when you talk about the ****y and funny bandwagon. They're after a magic bullet ... and the sad consequence is, if that first shot doesn't fell their prey, they don't have anything else left in the locker.


I am
The Main Event.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I agree that it is easy to go overboard with c&f. Mostly it comes from trying to say something funny, but you really just sound like a jacka$s. I like to think of c&f better as the art of the tease. When you are teasing a woman, you are by default keeping the convo light and interesting.

It is an important tool in the art of seduction, but far from the most important. If you aren't good in deciphering body language, then you are just as phucked as if you were complete AFC...

I like to use the guideline of; so long as I'm having fun and the girl is laughing then I'm doing something right.