the final battle... sex in longterm relationship

[fvgart]

I want to fight for my LTR BUT also want the love and passion/sex back?

I can start all over and put an end on this LTR - but I don't think thats a good idea and I think its not gonna solve my problems

I want regain my manhood and save my relationsship?

I see allready one thing for sure - Its not her fault - Its mine!

action - action -action The world is my sandbox again?

 

[AlphaGhost]

OP, I'd follow Dangers advice.

You need to covertly transform, get her brain ticking.

You probably got boring, which is totally normal when you don't understand relationship game. YOU NEVER STOP GAMING EVEN WHEN YOU GET INTO A LTR.

I wouldnt say a thing, but just really start trying to improve yourself and dont let her know why, just let her see its happeneing. If she cares she will see you are now something that is wanted and will do what she has to to make sure she keeps her "prize"

All the moments you would spend with her when your idling away your life in a boring bedroom, let her see your not wasting that time anymore, go to the gym, go hang out, go to a library. Just let her see that your not wasting your time with someone who isn't trying to please you. TRUST ME she will notice, it may take some time but she will notice. But if she doesn't respond postively or is very non-chalant about it, then maybe your too far gone or she could be cheating on you, but i doubt that.

The key is to build up mystery, shake up her emotions. if you can do that then you can get her panties wet. When you go out with her, have longer than usual conversations with other females wether you find them attractive or not, just become a charmer that doesn't cross the line lol.

Your actions have to show your faithful, but your wanted.

 

[fvgart]

its true!

I have took a new direction and a flood of information has come to me that I need to handle.

but
I don't want back anymore and that in less then 48 hours, ha!
My life shakes on his foundations.

But I have a new little problem here in ...communication?

I want to avoid that I really become an ass-hole/ big time jerk with all women and my girlfriend ofcourse?

There is some much to learn!

Thanks for the support - you do not know how grateful I am

 

[fvgart]

AlphaGhost - I believe you and I trust you...

I will do this for sure!
If she want to lose her prize over time - so be it!

I stumbled on this:
But after I got on this site, with the help of a few of you guys,
I found out that being a gentleman was OK, and that I confused being a gentleman with a nice guy.
Its Ok to be a romantic and treat a woman like a lady, the key is first to be a challenge and in order to keep them coming back for more and two, only give them that type of treatment when they deserve it.

this is indeed tricky business indeed:
I want to become a real masculine male that is proud on his sexuality. but I don't want to become the ass-hole/over the top jerk
I also want to be gentleman without being a nice guy -

how do you guys keep this in balance?

 

[AlphaGhost]

There is gentleman nice guy and then there is push over nice guy.

There is nothing wrong with being nice, the key is knowing when to put your foot down. Being nice is a good feeling especially when its to someone you love and care for. Women have the tendency to take that for granted (without knowing). So they start to disrespect you or think they you being nice to them is something that won't change because they feel they won you.

You have to know when something is done to you that you dont like you check it immediately! even if your in the mist of laughing your ass off, and she does something slick you need to be able to show her FRIMLY your not gonna accept that. That doesnt mean shouting and screaming (thats how females react) that means calm and serious and speak one time.

Be yourself, but just alter those part of you that you feel your afraid to show cause you dont want to hurt your ladies feelings. Your ladies needs does feelings hurt for her to see what she did was wrong.

If she says something to you that she thinks is funny and you dont, dont laugh it off because you dont want to make things un easy, let her know. I dont want you to take all the advice your getting here and turn into a women hater (its easy to fall into that trap especially when your eyes start to open up to what really going on with women) just be someone who values and respect himself and demands that from others JUST from the way you carry yourself.

you can PM if you'd like you remind me of myself during my first relationship lol way to sweet and caring about how people view me.

 

[Ruleit]

I want to become a real masculine male that is proud on his sexuality.

A. Then stop being her kitchenb1tch.

Do things around the house that a MAN does, like:

1) Mow the lawn
2) HandyMAN work
3) Fixing her car.

DON'T do sh!t that was traditionally woman's work, like:

1) dishes
2) sewing
3) cleaning
4) vaccuuming

Reduce your "workload" and use that time saved to work on yourself.

 

[backbreaker]

look,

here's the thing. the real problem isn't that she doesn't want to have sex with you. that's the problem but that's only half the problem.

the problem as i see it, to me the bigger issue is that she WON'T have sex with you.

That is the difference between a date, girlfriend and a LTR. In ohter words, your LTR sees no reason to even attempt to maintance the relationship by providing you regular sex.

It's not even so much about what she WANTS to do. she doesn't see the raewson to put forth the effort into ****ing you basically. She either feels you are replable or that you are so much of a ***** you won't do anything if she wont' **** you so she made the deicsion to not do it buecase she doesn't wanna.

I'm married. I've been dating/spending time with my wife for 5 years now. we still ahve sex quite reguarlly no drop up whatsoever.. we have had a few spats that for reasons.. her being pregno, me having emotional issues over some **** i dont' want feel like going into, my siezure i had last year, etc that we dont' go at it often but it always comes back.

and i'm sure that there are times where she doesn't really want to have sex in fact i know it is she all but tells me it' snot often but it happens. but she will do it beucase she understands that 1. she can go and 2. part of a healthy relationship is an active sex life.

and it's the same way. there are dates that i work 12-14 hours a day and she's ready to go. I don't really wanna. But i do beucase she wants to.

your girl, not only finds you attractive enough to want to ****, she doesn't see the point in investing her energy into ****ing you. it's time to go bro. the day my wife pulled a serious power trip like that it's time to go hire a laywer.

 

[( . )( . )]

Wouldn't his actions appear a bit incongruent? I mean he's essentially going from beta to slinging a women across his back and dragging by the hair to the cave in 5.2 seconds flat.

This.

If he's been playing the type of herb who says "make love" with a straight face for however many years, you can't just do a total 180 and think his girl is not going to call him out for acting like a lion all of a sudden.

Doesn't work that way. You have to be congruent from go to woe. Start fresh my man, your going to want to when your done internalizing all this red pill knowledge anyway I dare say.

 

[Jitterbug]

Take up partner dancing (with or without her). Once she smells other women on you, the problem will sort itself out - either she will have to step up her game, or you will conveniently get yourself a few replacements.

 

[XR 600]

Take up partner dancing (with or without her). Once she smells other women on you, the problem will sort itself out - either she will have to step up her game, or you will conveniently get yourself a few replacements.

This is great advice.No man should put up with this type of crap for long.Get her jelous.

 

[romanticman]

The problem is you need to get your manly respect back in her eyes. She is not the top dog in the relationship you are. A woman cannot be attracted to that manly attitude so you need to take the reigns back. Its going to be a battle but you need to draw the lines not only in the bedroom but in every day life. Get her to do more womans work instead of being the good boy and she definately needs a shake up. Why live like that? She can change or not budge and you have your answer. Without respect you are not so important to her.

 

[Gro0ver]

Good article here by Rollo that might help:

http://rationalmale.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/the-desire-dynamic/

Rollo writes a lot of good stuff relevent to relationship game.

Your relationship is certainly on the brink, and you need to accept that it's probably too late to save it. #1 priority is to be willing to walk away (truly) and have a swift backup plan for when that does happen (partner dancing classes are definitely a good idea from this perspective as well )

#2 but equally important is that you start focusing on you, and how to improve yourself. What you want for yourself in the next few weeks, months, years, that doesn't involve this girl? She likely won't be around mate, but it's ok, you will improve yourself and find better.

The only way the relationship will be salvaged is if she starts to desire you again. That can happen if you do #1 and #2, but at this point this is only a tertiary objective.

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life brother

But for god's sake don't ever use the term "making love" again.

 

[fvgart]

UPDATE:

thanks for all the posts! It is indeed the first weeks in my new life!
And I need to learn A LOT!

BUT:
I have talked with her and she know there are things that need to be changed.

She can think about it for some weeks, I give her some space, (also to do a lot of self improvement currently of course) she can work on all the different topics we handled, If necessary I want to help her.

I told her clearly, that I will talk with her later if things do not change
if necessary, I will take further steps!
I'm really serious about this. I give her a chance to join me to go through life.
It will be a lot of fun! I want to fully enjoy life!

 

[JoeMarron]

I'm surprised no one has recommended Athol Kay's stuff yet. Read his blog and get his Married Man Sex Life Primer book. That will tell you everything you need to know.

 

[Down Low]

UPDATE:

thanks for all the posts! It is indeed the first weeks in my new life!
And I need to learn A LOT!

BUT:
I have talked with her and she know there are things that need to be changed.

She can think about it for some weeks, I give her some space, (also to do a lot of self improvement currently of course) she can work on all the different topics we handled, If necessary I want to help her.

I told her clearly, that I will talk with her later if things do not change
if necessary, I will take further steps!
I'm really serious about this. I give her a chance to join me to go through life.
It will be a lot of fun! I want to fully enjoy life!

You're a faggot. So you gave her a stern talking to, then masturbated in the corner of the bedroom like you do every night, as she ignored you and read a Cosmo article on How To B1tch-Train Your Man.

Either (1) push her down and do her savage in the hole of your choice, then give her the deadline of 18 months to bear you a child, and you'll DNA test, or you'll kick her out and get a real woman, and by the way, this kind of savage hole-raping is gonna happen several times a day from now on, or (2) turn off your cell, pick up a chick at a bar, do her in a motel room, don't go home again until the next night, give no explanation for your disappearance, and do it more and more often until she puts out every night you're there or you never come home again, or (3) take a hammer and crush your testicles because sex only once every 10-15 days isn't some sort of wonder life, it's soul-killing torture.

 

[Burroughs]

OP sounds Indian

A lot of the Indian scientists at work have been married 10+ years and get zero puzzy...as in NONE....ever

the women never fvck so their hormones go off....fat is produced...the indian biyaches turn into bloated buffalos that make mindy kaling look like giselle

Its really sad

Indian women from India once the kids come, they shvt down completely...they have such rigid views on sex and *cleanliness* its really pathetic...thats why Indian men rape at the drop of a hat....they go their whole adult lives without ever really fvcking

 

[Burroughs]

There are an enormous amount of Indians.....so somebody must be doing some fvking over there.

its not so much fvcking as it is quick insertion....release...pull out...run away

Danger I kid you not

I have over 50 Indian scientists in my department...great dudes, funny, hardworking...but when you get to know them and talk to them about their marriages...its just sad man years and years without sex and the women just not into it after they have their first kids..by age 30 she's like american women are at 70...the British instilled enormous amounts of victorian frigidity into them...its just nuts

 

[( . )( . )]

Got to agree with Burroughs on this, Indians may be big hitters when it comes to breeding but by Jove if you spend any time around them you'll see they blow even your average self hating white liberal mangina out of the water in regards to puzzy worship and WKing which one would think is almost impossible, but they seemed to have pulled it off.

 

[Jitterbug]

Gotta concur on the Indian STEM fellas lol but I'd say the handful of Koreans at my workplace give them a run for their money any day in the art of pvssy begging.

 

[SamTheHobit]

You're a faggot. So you gave her a stern talking to, then masturbated in the corner of the bedroom like you do every night, as she ignored you and read a Cosmo article on How To B1tch-Train Your Man.

Either (1) push her down and do her savage in the hole of your choice, then give her the deadline of 18 months to bear you a child, and you'll DNA test, or you'll kick her out and get a real woman, and by the way, this kind of savage hole-raping is gonna happen several times a day from now on, or (2) turn off your cell, pick up a chick at a bar, do her in a motel room, don't go home again until the next night, give no explanation for your disappearance, and do it more and more often until she puts out every night you're there or you never come home again, or (3) take a hammer and crush your testicles because sex only once every 10-15 days isn't some sort of wonder life, it's soul-killing torture.

Best advice in this thread!