Starbucks: The New, Trendy Place for Hook Ups?

[Frank2500]

I don't know how it's like in other cities, but here in Philly, I seem to have noticed a trend that seems to be going on in a lot of Starbucks locations across the city. It seems to me that Starbucks is one of the sure places where men and women just sit there to B.S. with their eyes open wide checking out who's coming in and who's going out and giving subtle signals to strangers they may be interested in hooking up with and I think I like that. I stop at Starbucks every once in a while after working out at the gym and it just seems to me as if there's so many women on there either sitting down reading or ordering coffee while checking men out at the same time and waiting to be approached. When I walk in with a muscle T-shirt on, I definitely don't go unnoticed. Some time last week, this blonde lady suddenly walked in as if she was about to come right straight up to me and make a move. She gave me this straight stare in the eye for several seconds, once before she stood in front of me in line, and the other on her way out, but I lost track of her. It was amazing.


Anyway, my radar's up now whenever I'm at Starbucks, and I don't mind meeting a woman there. It feels quite good and interesting once in a while to notice a few women feeling quite nervous to actually approach a guy upfront who they might be interested in.

 

[Trail Mix-A-Lot]

No doubt. You're absolutly right. Starbucks is a true meat market. This is a godsend if you think about it. Instead of going to a bar and spending anywhere from $6.00 - $10.00 a drink (not to mention the 150-200 calorie hit per) we can go to Starbucks pay a buck fifty for a tall coffee and game away.

I think you also hit on another trend in your post. It's hard to pull-off the tight t-shirt. You need a completely flat stomach and guns or it just doesn't look right. Guns are definitly in with the ladies these days, and it isn't something you can just run out and buy. So this gives you an added advantage.

 

[profitASAP]

This is the absolute truth...I spend a lot of time working on my laptop at Starbucks. I'd much rather sit there, drink coffee and eye women then go into my office most days and I'm fortunate that I can do this. Even without trying I've pulled a ton of women at Starbucks and similar places and were I making an effort to do so it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. I consider myself an expert at Starbucks pick ups so I'll send along some tips later on. I'm actually off to have dinner with a woman right now--whom I met at Starbucks, no less :rock:

 

[WestCoaster]

Good place to meet women, who are usually fairly relaxed in the atmosphere, and alert because of the caffine. As always, better to be out there in person than trolling on the internet on something stupid like MySpace or E-fork-it-over. Starbucks or any coffee shop is a solid place to meet women.

 

[GtarPlayr73]

Great thread as i was going to eventually get to this topic. I'm a huge cafe guy. The coffee and reading atmosphere suits me to a T. Once, after making eye contact with this one hot Italian-American barrista over several different visits, she sat down next to me and we got talking. An hour later, she was cleaning the tables and i motioned her to come-hither. She leaned down toward me and i told her that i would love to get together with her sometime. She said yeah, sure and asked me for my number. Oops. Red flag. Being the AFC i was, i gave it to her without asking for hers instead. She never called me and later apologized saying her friends warned her off meeting with strangers. Anyway, that came to naught. This other hot blond gave me smiles, but i never moved on her and she was gone. Back in 2003, while i was in flight training, i met a very cute brunette in a Barnes & Noble cafe who was in nursing school, but i was too AFC to take advantage of the opportunity. She took the initiative with me and gave me her number without me even asking for it. So i always think of that encounter when considering the cafe possibilities...

On to the topic, i prefer cafes to bars. Cafes are my main social spot and i've long been trying to figure out how to approach women there. My main issue is that if you approach a chick in a cafe, pretty much everyone is going to see and hear you approaching her, especially if it's a small place.

One thing i have realized is that i need to pick a table smack in the middle of main cluster of tables, that way i can do a seated approach to the woman next to me. In the past, i've been sitting in the big easy chairs at the front windows. Kind of isolates you, though i got a few interested looks from female passers-by outside. Starbucks seems much more "hot" than my other fave indie cafe as far as women on the make.

ProfitASAP, any tips?

 

[Phyzzle]

She said yeah, sure and asked me for my number. Oops. Red flag.

The ultimate response was from Last Man Standing:

"Why don't you let me be the man, and you be the woman?"

And yes, I know he was a bit of a loon, but he had the right things to say sometimes.

 

[STR8UP]

Maybe one day America will be like Europe, with a cafe on every street corner. That would be awesome.

The US would be soooo much better place if everyone would get off their fat asses and stop watching tv long enough to hang out with fellow humans for awhile. What a stuffy culture. At least it's improving.....

 

[speakeasy]

This is the absolute truth...I spend a lot of time working on my laptop at Starbucks. I'd much rather sit there, drink coffee and eye women then go into my office most days and I'm fortunate that I can do this. Even without trying I've pulled a ton of women at Starbucks and similar places and were I making an effort to do so it would be like shooting fish in a barrel. I consider myself an expert at Starbucks pick ups so I'll send along some tips later on. I'm actually off to have dinner with a woman right now--whom I met at Starbucks, no less :rock:

What kind of openers are you using at Starbucks?

 

[WaterTiger]

I love Starbucks for "first date" meetings. You buy your own coffee/tea and you can talk without spending huge amounts of cash. You can keep the meeting brief (if your date proved to be a creep) or let it linger over refills if they are interesting.

 

[total_afc]

Guys, what's up with all the hater-ade? It's just coffee.

Maybe it's just me, but women often found in places like Starbucks or Sushi Bars just turn me off like a light switch. There's something innate about the usual persona I find there that I don't like. Too stuffy or metropolitan... trendy, maybe. Eager to please you with their education... I don't know what it is exactly. Never really cared to figure it out.

As far as I'm concerned, nothing is better than a smart, sucessful, attractive woman that will split a pitcher of beer with me in an old Irish pub. Frosty mugs and all....

To each their own, I suppose.

 

[Stavrogin]

I don't see why everyone thinks a coffee shop is such a great place to meet girls. The hotties I see there usually get their coffee to go or they're with their boyfriends. The only women who (I think) have ever hit on me in a coffee shop were plain broads who lacked social skills and were probably uncomfortable in the club scene - like the one who told me she liked my shoes and wanted to step on them.

 

[WestCoaster]

Maybe it's just me, but women often found in places like Starbucks or Sushi Bars just turn me off like a light switch. There's something innate about the usual persona I find there that I don't like. Too stuffy or metropolitan... trendy, maybe. Eager to please you with their education... I don't know what it is exactly. Never really cared to figure it out.

As far as I'm concerned, nothing is better than a smart, sucessful, attractive woman that will split a pitcher of beer with me in an old Irish pub. Frosty mugs and all....

To each their own, I suppose.

Actually both are good places. Yes, to each his own, but one of the best lines written here is: "A man is only as good as his options."

The more limits you put on yourself -- or sterotypes, i.e., women in cafes are snobs, women in bars are good; or like some here, women in bars are sl-ts and you can't find anyone there -- the more limited you become.

I've seen all kinds of women in coffee shops and bars. Remove your stereotypes and the more success you'll have.

 

[Frank2500]

Re: Good Feedback

Guys, your feedback was amazing. To the poster "ProfitASAP," I'd like to read some of your tips. The coffee shop scene is new to me. Yeah, I too used to be concerned once in a while about making everyone at the coffee shop realize that I'm hitting on a particular woman, especially since the space in most of them is relatively tiny/tight. I'm actually facing some sort of a dilemma right now. There's a chick I'd like to talk to at the Starbucks I go to, and I think she's noticed me, which was part of my game plan. She works there and man, does she have an unbelievably big ass. It may be hard for me to talk to her while letting her see me hitting on other women. I'm not really sure what might be the best thing to do in this circumstance.

But it's interesting most of you have realized the same thing. I think I should be going there a bit more often. The jailbaits are definitely something to watch out for, though. One's got to be extremely careful.

 

[Mr.Positive]

And whatever you do, avoid girls ordering Frappucinnos. Don't drink that stuff.

Why is this Sanctum? I think you do hit on a pretty good point. I've gone on a lot of coffee first dates, and I think you can tell a lot about a person by what they order.

I'm not talking about price, but yeah 4$ and change for a coffee is crazy, but when someone orders the most trendy of coffees...such as a double mocha lowfat frapp, etc.

The most quality women, I seem to notice, order something pretty basic, such as a capp, or a latte.

If the coffee she orders is a whole sentence of words that do not go together, or a tongue twister, be forwarned.

 

[Analytic]

I understand what you're saying, but for me, it's more demographic and conditional than stereotypical. I live in an area that is just a little more pretentious and upscale, and the women around here have created a condition that I have to operate within. If a man is not immediately handsome and/or looks successful and well educated, he is typically ignored, heavily. Yes, there are women like this everywhere, but here it is especially concentrated. The class divide is very apparent and is seldom crossed. If you're making less than 80K/year, you're considered a slacker. If you're making 60K or less, she would be slumming. If you're not educated, you are literally being flushed from the local gene pool. Starbucks just happens to be a hornet's nest I would just rather avoid because it signifies a lifestyle habit that often goes hand in hand with these types of women. I can have them. I don't want them.

If it's different where you live, great. I'm happy for you. But I'll stick to the pubs.

You are right about the demographic that hangs out at the coffee shops, I posted a thread about this here http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126328&highlight=coffee

Coffee shop places have some very high maintenance woman.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Good tips Sanctum..

 

[Chrispy]

Actually both are good places. Yes, to each his own, but one of the best lines written here is: "A man is only as good as his options."

The more limits you put on yourself -- or sterotypes, i.e., women in cafes are snobs, women in bars are good; or like some here, women in bars are sl-ts and you can't find anyone there -- the more limited you become.

I've seen all kinds of women in coffee shops and bars. Remove your stereotypes and the more success you'll have.

This is the best advice i've heard in a while. In broad terms if one is open-minded about things they create chances. Better to have more chance and more choices resulting from that.

 

[Frank2500]

Re:

Sanctum made some really good points. The good thing is, most of the Starbucks coffee shops that I'm familiar with here in Philly are right in Center City, in between restaurants, apartments and offices, so older women (24-37) and corporate types tend to come in as well from time to time. The thing I seem to like about quite a few of the women who go to Starbucks here in my area is that they seem to be quite aggressive. You can tell right from the way they look at you if they might be interested or find you attractive. The only thing is that of course, at least based on my experience, they never actually say anything. And making a move is quite tough because like another poster said, most of them just grab their coffee and leave. I don't think it would be a good move to be trying to catch up with a woman by walking behind her when she's leaving a coffee shop. I wouldn't do that. Yet, few of them ever sit down after they offer their stop. And I don't know how they would respond if you hit on them when they are standing in line ahead of you waiting for their orders.


But it's quite an interesting place, I agree.

 

[Ryan69]

Im not a cafe guy


How long can you stay at starbucks ? Do they pressure you into buying things all the time or can you sit and sip a coffee for 2-3 hrs and read?

 

[lookyoung]

I am a big coffee drinker and starbucks happens to be my favorite place. I stop in probably 4-5 times a week, never sat down in there except a few times with dates.

It seems like an ok place to meet woman but when I go there usually it consists of creepy guys sitting there by themselves (probably with the intention of picking up woman). Couples or friends having conversation.

Woman who are alone are usually in and out as am I.

For every one girl I see in starbucks sitting by herself reading a book, there are 10 AFC IDIOTS looking to oogle and stare at woman.


Can you meet woman there? sure. But it is not as great as it appears to be.