Without anybody to truly sit down and talk about my problem I come to sosuave in search of honest thoughts and opinions.
Get comfortable, loosen up, and read this carefully. I could use everyone's input.
Im not too sure how to start this off, so I will just start rambling about. Follow the best you can....
I have a best friend, he is 1 year younger than me, and I can basically trust him with anything, and talk to him about anything...except for this particular situation. I am 19 next month.
He is a christian, and for years he always tried to get me to go to church with him. I alway's declined because it just didnt seem like something I would get into or something I really believed in. Well finally, I broke and went with him just to see what all the hype was about, and to get a feel for what christianity is.
Upon arriving at the church, I was extremely nervous/anxious because I really did not know what to expect. It was kind of bizarre for me to walk in a place where spirtual thought's and beliefs where so freely thrown around.....I guess its because for the past 18 years I have never been inside a church, or went to a service. I got there and felt really out of place, at some point's and times I had to branch off and be a loner while my buddy practiced with the worship band. I just stayed in the youth room, and kinda kept to myself....just played with my phone, chit chatted a bit with the people I did know. But for the most part I was really on edge, and literally scared ****less when the service started. Maybe I had some sort of weird phobia, or the fear of the unknown was really throwing me for a loop.....either way.....I forced myself to calm down.
*****I know a good amount of people there through my buddy, they have been over his home and so on, so I am not a 100% stranger+people from my school where there that knew me slightly*****
Before the worship band began to play, the youth pastor asked if there was anybody new in the building that night. Out of about 45 people there where 3 new people....obviously I was one of them. He than proceeded to ask the new comer's to stand up with the person that brought them. Each couple had to close there eyes and just answer silly questions about each other. I pulled that off easily, and I ended up feeling pretty confident afterwords. Sort of a real intense way to break the ice I suppose. I really did not want to make a bad first impression, because there where some gorgeous looking women there.
After that, he told everybody to hug 3 people. So I hugged my best friend, My best friends girlfriend, and than this gorgeous girl that was sitting next to my buddy's girlfriend said "Hugs!" so she was the final one that I gave a hug too. ***Note that I smelled good =P
Although it was brief connection with that girl, I instantly felt something for her when we locked eyes for a second, and held each other momentarily.
The service finished up, and I got eye contact with this girl briefly one last time and than it was time to head home.
The following week my buddy asked if I was going with him again, and after realizing that it was not that bad I decided to go again....even though I was still pretty anxious about it and nervous.....I wanted to see that girl again. I know some of you are probably thinking "wow, what a fake" "going to church just for a girl" and other such thing's, but the truth is I am going because it is truly a warm environment, and I do feel welcomed now. And when I see all of those people so dedicated to this religion, it makes me wonder if believing could be that bad....so needless to say I have attended once a week for the past month. A total of 4 times. Out of the four times....I only saw that girl twice. The first time I went, and the last time....which would be last wendsday.
Now thing's start to get a touch interesting.......
I went with my buddy, he always goes early....I feel alot more comfortable going now than I did the last few times. The people are starting to accept me I think. Anyhow....on each visit I make sure I look pretty decent and smell alright too =P Its a non-denominational church, so I was just wearing some jean's and a Black Banana Republic Button up T shirt =)
As I sat in the youth room, shootin the sh!t with some of the people I was fixated on a tv for a while playin a game with a friend, and there was a conversation goin on between about 10 people behind me. I decided I could comment on some of the stuff they where yappin about, and naturally I am a pretty funny guy....so the few times I piped up and said something I had the group of people laughing. As I looked behind me I saw that girl!! She saw me, and my buddie's girlfriend is seemingly good friends with her. I turned around a few minutes later and they where gone...probably out in the hallway or something.........service was starting soon and we all left the youth room to go to the service. As I went to take my seat behind the hot girl, and my buddies girlfriend. My buddies girlfriend asked me "pvf94, what Is your race" I said "Mexican American"...followed by a sly grin, and a laugh from both of the girls. And for some damn reason my buddies girlfriend says "she is Italian" and than proceeded to say "Mexican and Italian, that would be a good match" As random as it was I started to note that she was basically hinting a connection between the two of us........another question followed the previous one "pvf94, how old are you" I replied with my age....and than my buddies girlfriend replied "She is 15". My jaw wanted to drop when I heard that because this girl looked and acted all of 18/19. So I looked at the 15 yr old and just said "No wayyyyy........" And the hot girl says "How old do I look?" I told her 18/19. She laughed and than service proceeded. And a few times my buddies girlfriend gave me this odd look....and I kinda got the hint. She was definently trying to show me that the girl had to like me or something. Why else would she interogate me like she did, and say we would be a good match and so on.
So the next day, my buddy call's me at 6:45 in the morning before I go on the bus and ask's me if I want a ride instead of taking the bus. I complied and headed down to his home which isnt very far away at all. I walked inside his home and sat on the couch with him. And he says. "So!, is there anybody that you would consider dating in the future from our church?" I told him yes, than he said "who?, who specifically?" Than I knew that something was FOR SURE going on between that girl and I. So I told him, "That girl that was sitting next to your girlfriend is banging" He laughed....said "She has a weird name" He proceeded to tell me her name, I took it in and than let the conversation dwindle away and said nothing else about it....basically I acted aloof.
The next day in my first hour class, my best friend is talking to another one of the kid's that goes to our church....and my buddy went to call me a name....than he stopped himself and said OMG, hahaha, "I gotta tell you something man" and he proceeded to whisper into the other guy's ear....and as they where whispering I acted aloof again and said " what are you queers talking about me for " and they both said "dude you better start loving jesus QUICK!!!" And they both laughed and agreed with each other and than my best friend said outloud to the other guy "I knew somebody would, just not you know" Than the other kid said "oh the one that blah blah blah"
My best buddy than said to the other guy "Im not gonna say anything though, because every time we do things dont work out" They both agreed, and wont tell me.......even though im 95% shure I know.
Than I knew for sure who they where talking about, but I still acted aloof....and now Im excited but kinda scared at the same time....because this girl seem's way outta my league......
I guess I dont really have question's, just needed a place to vent and clear my own head....thank's for reading.
My problem is that I feel lesser than her, and a group of atleast 4 people will be watching my actions with this girl......sort of hawking me. And that makes me jittery....because I dont wanna look or feel stupid.
Do I still act aloof? I dont know, im flippin confused. Thanks for reading, comments are welcome. :wave:
Get comfortable, loosen up, and read this carefully. I could use everyone's input.
Im not too sure how to start this off, so I will just start rambling about. Follow the best you can....
I have a best friend, he is 1 year younger than me, and I can basically trust him with anything, and talk to him about anything...except for this particular situation. I am 19 next month.
He is a christian, and for years he always tried to get me to go to church with him. I alway's declined because it just didnt seem like something I would get into or something I really believed in. Well finally, I broke and went with him just to see what all the hype was about, and to get a feel for what christianity is.
Upon arriving at the church, I was extremely nervous/anxious because I really did not know what to expect. It was kind of bizarre for me to walk in a place where spirtual thought's and beliefs where so freely thrown around.....I guess its because for the past 18 years I have never been inside a church, or went to a service. I got there and felt really out of place, at some point's and times I had to branch off and be a loner while my buddy practiced with the worship band. I just stayed in the youth room, and kinda kept to myself....just played with my phone, chit chatted a bit with the people I did know. But for the most part I was really on edge, and literally scared ****less when the service started. Maybe I had some sort of weird phobia, or the fear of the unknown was really throwing me for a loop.....either way.....I forced myself to calm down.
*****I know a good amount of people there through my buddy, they have been over his home and so on, so I am not a 100% stranger+people from my school where there that knew me slightly*****
Before the worship band began to play, the youth pastor asked if there was anybody new in the building that night. Out of about 45 people there where 3 new people....obviously I was one of them. He than proceeded to ask the new comer's to stand up with the person that brought them. Each couple had to close there eyes and just answer silly questions about each other. I pulled that off easily, and I ended up feeling pretty confident afterwords. Sort of a real intense way to break the ice I suppose. I really did not want to make a bad first impression, because there where some gorgeous looking women there.
After that, he told everybody to hug 3 people. So I hugged my best friend, My best friends girlfriend, and than this gorgeous girl that was sitting next to my buddy's girlfriend said "Hugs!" so she was the final one that I gave a hug too. ***Note that I smelled good =P
Although it was brief connection with that girl, I instantly felt something for her when we locked eyes for a second, and held each other momentarily.
The service finished up, and I got eye contact with this girl briefly one last time and than it was time to head home.
The following week my buddy asked if I was going with him again, and after realizing that it was not that bad I decided to go again....even though I was still pretty anxious about it and nervous.....I wanted to see that girl again. I know some of you are probably thinking "wow, what a fake" "going to church just for a girl" and other such thing's, but the truth is I am going because it is truly a warm environment, and I do feel welcomed now. And when I see all of those people so dedicated to this religion, it makes me wonder if believing could be that bad....so needless to say I have attended once a week for the past month. A total of 4 times. Out of the four times....I only saw that girl twice. The first time I went, and the last time....which would be last wendsday.
Now thing's start to get a touch interesting.......
I went with my buddy, he always goes early....I feel alot more comfortable going now than I did the last few times. The people are starting to accept me I think. Anyhow....on each visit I make sure I look pretty decent and smell alright too =P Its a non-denominational church, so I was just wearing some jean's and a Black Banana Republic Button up T shirt =)
As I sat in the youth room, shootin the sh!t with some of the people I was fixated on a tv for a while playin a game with a friend, and there was a conversation goin on between about 10 people behind me. I decided I could comment on some of the stuff they where yappin about, and naturally I am a pretty funny guy....so the few times I piped up and said something I had the group of people laughing. As I looked behind me I saw that girl!! She saw me, and my buddie's girlfriend is seemingly good friends with her. I turned around a few minutes later and they where gone...probably out in the hallway or something.........service was starting soon and we all left the youth room to go to the service. As I went to take my seat behind the hot girl, and my buddies girlfriend. My buddies girlfriend asked me "pvf94, what Is your race" I said "Mexican American"...followed by a sly grin, and a laugh from both of the girls. And for some damn reason my buddies girlfriend says "she is Italian" and than proceeded to say "Mexican and Italian, that would be a good match" As random as it was I started to note that she was basically hinting a connection between the two of us........another question followed the previous one "pvf94, how old are you" I replied with my age....and than my buddies girlfriend replied "She is 15". My jaw wanted to drop when I heard that because this girl looked and acted all of 18/19. So I looked at the 15 yr old and just said "No wayyyyy........" And the hot girl says "How old do I look?" I told her 18/19. She laughed and than service proceeded. And a few times my buddies girlfriend gave me this odd look....and I kinda got the hint. She was definently trying to show me that the girl had to like me or something. Why else would she interogate me like she did, and say we would be a good match and so on.
So the next day, my buddy call's me at 6:45 in the morning before I go on the bus and ask's me if I want a ride instead of taking the bus. I complied and headed down to his home which isnt very far away at all. I walked inside his home and sat on the couch with him. And he says. "So!, is there anybody that you would consider dating in the future from our church?" I told him yes, than he said "who?, who specifically?" Than I knew that something was FOR SURE going on between that girl and I. So I told him, "That girl that was sitting next to your girlfriend is banging" He laughed....said "She has a weird name" He proceeded to tell me her name, I took it in and than let the conversation dwindle away and said nothing else about it....basically I acted aloof.
The next day in my first hour class, my best friend is talking to another one of the kid's that goes to our church....and my buddy went to call me a name....than he stopped himself and said OMG, hahaha, "I gotta tell you something man" and he proceeded to whisper into the other guy's ear....and as they where whispering I acted aloof again and said " what are you queers talking about me for " and they both said "dude you better start loving jesus QUICK!!!" And they both laughed and agreed with each other and than my best friend said outloud to the other guy "I knew somebody would, just not you know" Than the other kid said "oh the one that blah blah blah"
My best buddy than said to the other guy "Im not gonna say anything though, because every time we do things dont work out" They both agreed, and wont tell me.......even though im 95% shure I know.
Than I knew for sure who they where talking about, but I still acted aloof....and now Im excited but kinda scared at the same time....because this girl seem's way outta my league......
I guess I dont really have question's, just needed a place to vent and clear my own head....thank's for reading.
My problem is that I feel lesser than her, and a group of atleast 4 people will be watching my actions with this girl......sort of hawking me. And that makes me jittery....because I dont wanna look or feel stupid.
Do I still act aloof? I dont know, im flippin confused. Thanks for reading, comments are welcome. :wave:
