Should I break up with my girlfriend?

[Scars]

Me and this girl have been dating for about 4 months (officially) and were talking and pretty much exclusive with each other for a good 6 months before that. So me and this girl have a lot of history together and we have been through a lot. We both love each other, she tells me everyday, but lately she has been going down hill. She found out from her mom that she might be moving, it's still a few months away but it has taken a toll on her mental state. She has become really depressed and is being distance with her best friends, and even ME. She claims its because she just doesn't want to get too attached because she knows it will hurt more when she leaves. Lately she's been hanging with one of her guy friends a lot, it doesn't bother me. But what does bother me is the people she is hanging around are a bad influence. She's drinking and smoking now because she is depressed, she's only doing it to hide from everything that is going on. Last night I heard from one of her friends that she started crying last night, and was rambling on about our relationship and how she misses her best friend. I've had numerous talks to her about it. I've told her I feel like she is going down hill, I tell her I want my old girlfriend back, and try to explain to her how much she has changed lately. All she is telling me is that she is sorry. She isn't a girl much for drama, but when I try to have these talks with her she is being real short with me. I don't know what to make of it. When she isn't depressed and isn't doing all this stupid stuff she really is the ideal girl. When I met her, she was the chillest girl ever. No drama. Never jealous. Gave me tons of freedom. Trusted me always. Was the sweetest nicest, caring person. Never smoked, never drank, never did drugs. She was everything that I wasn't. I actually looked up to her and admired her for her innocence. Honestly, that was one of the biggest reasons I liked her so much. I know she loves me, and she is hurting just as much as I am right now. But I really don't know what to do. Her moving is still not even for sure. It's a maybe. But it is like ****ing with her head mentally. Even if she did move, I honestly believe she is the girl I was meant to be with. I really love her, and she loves me. She actually wants me to move with her, but I'm not mentally or financially ready for it right now. It wouldn't work. I would be willing to try a LDR with her but right now, its not even about her moving.. it's just the way she has been acting lately. I've tried to talk to her about it, I've analyzed and looked at it from her perspective as well. I completely understand where she is coming from. It's hard for us both, I've tried talking to her, but lately I haven't seen much of a change. I really don't know what to do.

 

[Rounder]

Well you're 18 and you've been dating a girl for basically a year now. I think it's time you move on and see what single life is like again.

Don't fall in to the "we've been through a lot" etc, ugh, I did that at your age and it's a mistake.

If you don't break up with her now, you'll break up eventually right? You don't think you're gonna marry this girl do you?

Besides - if you break up with her now you can skip out on the Xmas presents, hahaha!!

This is what being young is all about - learning. It will feel like it hurts and she's all you've known for a while now...you'll miss her at first and want to call her and maybe cry... let those things happen, let them run their course. In a few days reality will set in, that now you're free to see whoever you want!

You can go out with friends and meet all kinds of new women. There's probably some girl you've had your eye on and wish you could ask out but haven't, well now is your chance.

 

[slaog]

You're both very young and unfortunatly for you it looks like she's heading in a different direction with her life.


You've talked with her and asked her to chage and she's basically ignored you. Only thing to do now is break up with her. Tell her if she wants to get back togethar she has to change back to the way she was. It's unlikely that will happen.


Look for other women.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Not getting attached before she moves will be good for both of you. You may love her now but, I'd do what she is doing and start breaking it off with her. It will save you heart ache.

I'm suprised she started drinking/smoking and whatever just because, she might be moving. I think it goes to show she may not be the ideal girl you thought she was. If she can't handle something like that... Who knows what else she will do when something more comes along her way.

Bottom line is your young. You got plenty of more girls to date. I'd break up with her.

 

[sexy_kuta]

Besides - if you break up with her now you can skip out on the Xmas presents, hahaha!!

best advice i've seen in a while!

 

[magickarl]

Short answer: Break up with her, but do it delicately (Your right about the attachment thing, and were really only putting off something that is going to happen. It'll just be easy on both of us.)

Shorter answer: Break up with her. You are 18. See other girls.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Ok i can tell by how your talking about her that you won't break up with her yet. So i'll just help you out on making the best of your situation.

Don't try to talk to her about moving and shlt, that's all just depressing talk. Try and pick her up from her low emotional state by providing encouragement. Just be like "hey, stop being depressed about moving away and let's just live in the moment and take things day by day." Enjoy the time you have, you are young and trust me this relationship will end sooner or later.

 

[horaholic]

If you dont break up with her, at least follow the rule about associating you with depression. Im sure someone else here can word this better, but: If, whenever you are together, and all the talk/vibe is negative and depressing, she will associate YOU with those bad feelings. Then, while she is out with her new party crowd, "forgetting" about her problems, she will be associating those people with feeling good. Then, she will break up with you, because "you're no fun anymore, " and it wont have anything to do with you.

Point is: when you are together, make sure you are having fun. Don't "be there for her" too much. Just say "everything will be just fine," and change the subject. Let her talk to her girlfriends about her problems. Have her ONLY associate you with fun, and good times and good feelings.