Thorninmyside
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2014
- Messages
- 636
- Reaction score
- 363
I have a plate overseas whom I visit regularly on business and when I do she takes time off from work so we can date, bang a lot etc. Neither of us have pushed for any titles for what we are, but we have talked about marriage our and have gradually dropped other plates we might have had (frankly, I've been too busy to date locally much anyway) over the course of the six months we've been seeing each other. Interestingly, so many of the tired and true tools of the dj toolbox have been unsuccessful on her, like if I withdraw interest she does too. If I go ghost she calls me out. If I neg she negs me back twice as good and we end up laughing our asses off rather than proving ourselves to the other. She's actually the best intellectual challenge I've had with a girl.
So, we made plans for her to come to me for Christmas for a week, but we also found out her work will be sending her here for a week in September.
On the phone last night she says quite matter of factly "I don't think I need to go there in December now". When I ask why she replies "I think I need to go to the US to see a friend's mom who is very ill. It might be the last time I get to see her".
Me: oh, what friend?
Her: my ex boyfriend's (from two years ago) mom
Me: how did you find out she's sick?
Her: he told me. I was very close to her and when we broke up I promised I'd see her again some time.
Me: oh, ok. You never told me that you still talk
Her: yeah, sometimes. It's not like we did anything bad to each other. Does it bother you?
Me: well hey, it's not like we've said that we are anything, but I just didn't know. That's all. You never mention them (guy or mom)
Her: well, let's talk about it later. (She had to go)
Maybe I'm being an insensitive jerk, but I'm a bit bothered by this. We've both been saving to do some travelling around my country over Christmas, but now I'm being bumped for her ex's mom who she's suddenly got the money to go see.
Should I be sucking it up, going ghost, telling her I'm not thrilled? What? I'm happy not to give a **** and keep on kicking ass at life, but I don't want to reward bad behaviour either and set bad precedence. It's very important for me to retain at least half the frame with this girl because there is a bit of unspoken tugowar in that dept because we're both strong willed and intelligent.
TL;DR: girl cancels December trip to see me to go see ex boyfriends dying mother instead. I can't help but feel annoyed I'm just finding out they're still in touch now, want to retain a position of strength and not go AFC when the subject comes up for more discussion.
So, we made plans for her to come to me for Christmas for a week, but we also found out her work will be sending her here for a week in September.
On the phone last night she says quite matter of factly "I don't think I need to go there in December now". When I ask why she replies "I think I need to go to the US to see a friend's mom who is very ill. It might be the last time I get to see her".
Me: oh, what friend?
Her: my ex boyfriend's (from two years ago) mom
Me: how did you find out she's sick?
Her: he told me. I was very close to her and when we broke up I promised I'd see her again some time.
Me: oh, ok. You never told me that you still talk
Her: yeah, sometimes. It's not like we did anything bad to each other. Does it bother you?
Me: well hey, it's not like we've said that we are anything, but I just didn't know. That's all. You never mention them (guy or mom)
Her: well, let's talk about it later. (She had to go)
Maybe I'm being an insensitive jerk, but I'm a bit bothered by this. We've both been saving to do some travelling around my country over Christmas, but now I'm being bumped for her ex's mom who she's suddenly got the money to go see.
Should I be sucking it up, going ghost, telling her I'm not thrilled? What? I'm happy not to give a **** and keep on kicking ass at life, but I don't want to reward bad behaviour either and set bad precedence. It's very important for me to retain at least half the frame with this girl because there is a bit of unspoken tugowar in that dept because we're both strong willed and intelligent.
TL;DR: girl cancels December trip to see me to go see ex boyfriends dying mother instead. I can't help but feel annoyed I'm just finding out they're still in touch now, want to retain a position of strength and not go AFC when the subject comes up for more discussion.
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