She doesn’t know what she wants

[Bigpapa]

I don't agree with this. This is the type of shjt that breaks men who haven't learned to separate sexual bonding and "love" permanently.

No matter how experienced you are, a chick emasculating you one way or the other still stings

And the more you are attached to her, the more it stings

In the OP example, he does bf/gf stuff and then he is like “ ywah, I work 200 hours a week, and do not have time to spin plates” . Even though he thinks he got this under control and expects her to leave, you think that this experience will not sting him a lot?

His hamster is already backwords rationalizing his behavior and finds excuses on why this is ok, which means that he is almost entirely hooked in the whole thing

No matter how rational we think we are, humans are mostly not rationale and they can lose it in a snip of a second

 

[CornbreadFed]

I don't agree with this. This is the type of shjt that breaks men who haven't learned to separate sexual bonding and "love" permanently.

This is an experienced Jezebel not some novice girl that just knows how to use her tits.

 

[RicBoy]

No matter how experienced you are, a chick emasculating you one way or the other still stings

And the more you are attached to her, the more it stings

In the OP example, he does bf/gf stuff and then he is like “ ywah, I work 200 hours a week, and do not have time to spin plates” . Even though he thinks he got this under control and expects her to leave, you think that this experience will not sting him a lot?

His hamster is already backwords rationalizing his behavior and finds excuses on why this is ok, which means that he is almost entirely hooked in the whole thing

No matter how rational we think we are, humans are mostly not rationale and they can lose it in a snip of a second

I’m lost honestly. It hurt a lot yesterday when she told me she didn’t have feelings for me. It started when she said her mom was over last night. I asked her if her mom knew about us. She said yes she knows I told her I’m seeing you and told her I’m not sure yet what I want from this yet. And then the whole convo just started.
I wonder if I had texted her less all these 3 months, less emoji stuff and less letting her know I want more than fwb if she would be falling for me now ?

 

[RicBoy]

Also a month ago she was we on holidays she sent me msgs like 4 times a day pictures and she would even use kiss emojis and stuff she went a bit cold last weeks. I think she has been thinking a lot about what she wants from this. Her main concern was that I’m going over her house twice a week and she knows I’m just waiting for the day things become more serious and she is afraid if one day she decides she doesn’t want more of this if I start to blame her she made me lost all this time

 

[Bigpapa]

In all fairness, the only thing that you say to her “ thank you for being honest and fully noted. I value honest people”

Then you only talk with her when you want to sleep with her. Nothing more, nothing less. If she writes to you, do not get baited into talking with her. Just keep things professional

Then once you sleep with her, leave in maximum 10 minutes ( not in a hurry but not taking your time either )

Ideally you would sleep with her every 2-3 weeks, but not more than 1 time a week ( and that should be more an exception than most of the times )

Use the time to go out and grab a drink when you do not see her . You would be amazed of what is going on when you are not into your head too much

 

[bat soup]

I’m seeing a girl for 3 months. She is 35 and never had a serious relationship only fwb type of relationship. We meet twice a week at her place.

Tonight she told me she likes me and enjoys the sex but doesn’t have feelings for me. She doesn’t know yet what she wants but she thinks she probably doesn’t want a serious relationship in the future.
She said she is happy with what we have now exclusive sex and hangout at her place. But if she figures out someday she doesn’t want a serious relationship, then she doesn’t want to be keep this sex thing we have now forever.

I asked why she is telling me this? She said she feels I want more from this in the future and she doesn’t want to end it someday and then I blame her that she was just leading me on and didn’t want a relationship from the beginning.

Plan of action? I think I’ll keep meeting her and just text for meet ups?

Is she on her way out ?

Is this a problem or are you bragging? Sounds like the perfect plate scenario to me.

 

[RicBoy]

In all fairness, the only thing that you say to her “ thank you for being honest and fully noted. I value honest people”

Then you only talk with her when you want to sleep with her. Nothing more, nothing less. If she writes to you, do not get baited into talking with her. Just keep things professional

Then once you sleep with her, leave in maximum 10 minutes ( not in a hurry but not taking your time either )

Ideally you would sleep with her every 2-3 weeks, but not more than 1 time a week ( and that should be more an exception than most of the times )

Use the time to go out and grab a drink when you do not see her . You would be amazed of what is going on when you are not into your head too much

Thanks sounds really good. Not sure I have the balls to leave right after sex but I can start to make my visits shorter

 

[RicBoy]

Is this a problem or are you bragging? Sounds like the perfect plate scenario to me.

She is basically saying she has no feelings and she might end even the fwb thing some day. Doesn’t sounds too good honestly.
I just told her I don’t want to talk more about this again and just meet sex chill and take a day at the time with thinking about future

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

OP, with all honesty man, you've always been the problem, since you joined this forum, every women you encounter you develop deep feelings like that woman is your soulmate, look at the $hit you've been with your previous lovers, there is drama after drama, always finding toxic women, and then trying to turn them how you want them to be.

You've been doing the same $hit for years and have never learn your lesson. Insanity is doing the same things again and again, but expecting a different result.

You're one of those guys who never take any advice, people tell them what yo do and they go overthinking and doing what they want. At this rate your years are gonna pass by and you'll be full of regrets when you're older if you don't change.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I work 200 hours a week

7*24=168
So how are you also spending 5-6 hours twice a week with her..?

I don’t need relationship but would be nice to see her chasing me texting me and showing interest not having doubts questions no feelings etc.

SO THEN STOP CHASING HER. Y'all can't be chasing each other, but you still shouldn't be chasing this trainwreck.

 

[RicBoy]

7*24=168
So how are you also spending 5-6 hours twice a week with her..?


SO THEN STOP CHASING HER. Y'all can't be chasing each other, but you still shouldn't be chasing this trainwreck.

I meant 200 hours a month HHaha

yes truth to be told I never give her the chance to chase me and test me first. At this point I’m not even sure if she will. She told me she has no feelings and if she texts she knows she will be giving me the wrong impression

 

[Money & Muscle]

I meant 200 hours a month HHaha

Cool. I actually work 50 hours a week, attend school full time, train 3-4x a week with 3-4 hours cardio, cut sleep out to spend time with my wife and daughter, and still have time for bedroom activities 4-5x a week for at least an hour.

So your excuse of not having time is pretty self-limiting tbh. You get what you work for, and right now, you're working for a sh*t situation and using excuses as to why you can't/won't do better.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

OP: you have the advice of many experienced men telling you to preserve your dignity and walk away.

My guess is that for some reason you think you can’t do better. You talk a good line “I can dump her easy”, but you won’t. Spare yourself the grief, you’re a rookie trying to jump in the rink with a heavyweight, she’s running circles around you and probably ridiculing you to anyone she talks to.

For you to think there are no other involved with her the other 5 nights is naive. She’s been on OLD forever, has seen a lot of cawk, and you think she doesn’t have at least three other guys on speedial? Do you really think she isn’t getting hit up like every single day to fack?

Again walk away. The mental masturbation you’re engaging in on the thread is not helping you.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I never give her the chance to chase me and test me first

What do you mean "you never gave her the chance to test you"? She's BEEN testing you - its what women do. You just repeatedly failed it which is why you're eating out of the palm of her hand.

 

[RicBoy]

I m

What do you mean "you never gave her the chance to test you"? She's BEEN testing you - its what women do. You just repeatedly failed it which is why you're eating out of the palm of her hand.

I meant text me first more often or miss me.

 

[Money & Muscle]

I m
I meant text me first more often or miss me.

You're beta orbiting her. You're 100% in her frame.

I don't think I have any advice you will listen to, but if you were to listen, you should just pull back. Like all the way. If she doesn't start chasing you, then she doesn't give a f*ck.

BUT you're quite literally her fallback plan after 15+ years of hoeing around. She will not make a good mate (for the 100th time).

 

[RicBoy]

You're beta orbiting her. You're 100% in her frame.

I don't think I have any advice you will listen to, but if you were to listen, you should just pull back. Like all the way. If she doesn't start chasing you, then she doesn't give a ****.

BUT you're quite literally her fallback plan after 15+ years of hoeing around. She will not make a good mate (for the 100th time).

I’m pulling back for sure. I will only text from now on for meet ups and most of the time I will just wait she texts me first. She needs to start chasing. It’s been 3 months it’s about time.

 

[RicBoy]

Today I didn’t text her to check if she would. She didn’t. I think was the first time we didn’t exchange texts in a month or so. We will be meeting tomorrow night at her place

 

[CornbreadFed]

Today I didn’t text her to check if she would. She didn’t. I think was the first time we didn’t exchange texts in a month or so. We will be meeting tomorrow night at her place

I know that feeling

 

[RicBoy]

I know that feeling

This is probably gonna be over soon. Not a good sign when you’re seeing someone if they don’t text in my opinion.