joker79 said:
@Igetit: been dating this girl for several months with high and lows. I tried to see what i could get out of this going through dating, sleeping with her and then see what happens. After a short period of success in which she seemed into me and showed buy signals, she started to show resistance, play games, pulling other guys in the picture and eventually tried even to LJBF me. I firmly rejected her offer and cut off all contact. Now everytime a come across her, things are quite awkward as we went from talking everyday to say "Hi" and nothing else. She randomly text me asking how I am.
What I want is to understand is how to get power again
.. but I want the upper hand
So you two used to date,then things fell apart. You talk about "getting the power" back and having the "upper hand". Ok...power for what? Upper hand for what?
You're talking about "power",but you
NEVER SAID what it is you wanted with the girl. Ultimately,there's something you want with her,you either want to just have sex with the chick,make her your girlfriend,friend with benefits,or something. Which one is it?
Look....I live in Texas. If I want to go to Oklahoma,I have to travel north,but if I want to go to Mexico,I have to travel south.
THE PLACE I WANT TO GO DETERMINES THE DIRECTION I NEED TO TAKE. You get it?
I asked you what it is you want with her,you said "power" and the "upper hand". Ok...power
FOR WHAT? A relationship? One night stand? FWB?
If you can't answer it you CAN'T be helped.
I pursued her too much in the previous phase...
Heh....well that explains her "Not ready for a relationship right now" line. You probably came off as needy to her. Might wanna just chalk this one up to a learning experience cause you're going to have a HARD TIME trying to get her to see you differently.
Not impossible,but if you didn't have the knowledge to PREVENT IT in the first place,it's unlikely you have the knowledge to reverse it as well.
Honestly i'm not sure if it's worth to go through this pain again... but I don't want to show I'm butthurt anyway. That's where my question come from.
Just answer her back. If she wishes you a happy birthday,just thank her for it. You make it seem like if you respond,you'll mess something up.
You
DON'T HAVE ANYTHING with her...there's nothing
TO mess up.
Even if you did try to make something happen,answering a "Happy Birthday" text wouldn't ruin it,being needy,clingy and pursuing her too much would.
Just learn from this so you want make the same mistakes with the next girl.