I don't know if a one year relationship is considered a LTR or not, but that's not really important in this case.
Anyways - me and my girlfriend celebrated our 1 year anniversary just a couple of weeks ago and everything has been exceptional between us - apart from one thing, the sex life. (And this is not another thread where she won't give me sex - it's the other way around).
It felt like we've known each other all our lives just after a few weeks we'd been together. She truly is my best friend and we almost never fight, the few 2-3 times we've had our differences and we got grumpy on each other, lasted for just a couple of hours, and those occasions were also just based upon lack of communication.
In the beginning of our relationship we had sex all the time, everywhere, in every position. We even did it in the elevator at my place once - we're lucky we didn't get caught
For the first 6 months of our relationship she was abroad studying so we only saw eachother for 7-10 days at three different occasions when I went to visit her. We got togehter just a few weeks before she was about to leave for her studies, but we we're both aware of this when we got together. The long distance relationship was a bit tough at times, but I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy my space from time to time, because I did. This is only my second serious relationship so I'm not used to spending all my time with a partner, I still need my own space or I easily feel choked. Sometimes when we'd be apart for just an hour or so, she'd text me how much she was missing me - so while I was feeling a sense of peace to be for myself, I instead started to feel guilty about it.
Since she came back from her studies abroad our sex life has been declining steadily and the last 2-3 months we've only had sex 1-2 times per month. She's very sexual and she could still have sex 2-3 times a day. There comes a time in every relationship when you don't have sex for a week for the first time, and when that time came in our relationship she pointed it out immediately, and that kind of behavior doesn't help me one bit.
Whenever she points out that we haven't had sex for so and so long, it just makes me wanna have sex even less. Just like with the text messages, whenever I was perfectly fine with not having sex, or not be with her for just a few hours, she'd pressure me and make me feel guilty. (Not intentionally, but that is none the less how it made me feel). She even makes fun of it and calls me gay from time to time. I know she doesn't mean to be a bvtch, but that just makes me want to have sex even less.
Last week we had sex for the first tine in almost a month, and I only had sex because I felt pressured that we didn't have sex for a long time, not even during our anniversary weekend. So what eventually happened is that I couldn't go through with it, I eventually lost my erection - this is the 2nd time that happens with her. We had lunch on Monday and on Monday night she came over to collect some of her clothes. Not because we we're breaking up but since her parents just got home from their vacation and they don't approve that she sleeps over at my place (old fashioned parents,she has different religious background and all that boring stuff). However, it still felt as we just broke up, and we haven't seen each other since then, she's been extremely short on words the next two days and we haven't even texted each other since Wednesday, and this has made me feel very bad. Sick to my stomach so to speak - the kind of feeling you get when you lose somebody close to you.
Basically, what I'm trying to figure out is, if my loss of sexual attraction for her is totally gone, or if this is something that is normal? I'm trying to figure out if it would be any different if we did spend a little less time together, or if I'm just trying to use that as an excuse for not wanting to have sex with her.
I'll be gone working all weekend so I won't see, and maybe not even hear from her, until Sunday - if we decide to meet and have a talk. But whenever we see each other next time, I know that that will be a pivotal point in our relationship. Either we'll have a long talk and try to forget about it all, or we'll break up. I don't see any other outcome.
My biggest concern is that I don't want to leave her - I've never met anybody who resonates with my personality like she does. On all levels. Not my brother, not my best friends, no one. But that alone won't make it a successful relationship - so for that to happen, I do hope that my sexual attraction for her is just gone temporarily - but I don't know. Have any of you had similar experiences? And what have you done to help it? From what I know of my own sexual drive and attraction towards other women is that it changes. All the time. One day I get turned on by big tits, next day maybe I see somebody with a pair of fresh legs that turns me one. One day I'm craving pizza, the other day mcdonalds, and I'm not denying it.
However, this makes my wonder if I could ever have a successful LTR, because I'm sure that I whoever I might get together with, even if it's the and only HB11 on this planet, some days I will still find somebody else more sexually appealing. So, what the hell to do?
Anyways - me and my girlfriend celebrated our 1 year anniversary just a couple of weeks ago and everything has been exceptional between us - apart from one thing, the sex life. (And this is not another thread where she won't give me sex - it's the other way around).
It felt like we've known each other all our lives just after a few weeks we'd been together. She truly is my best friend and we almost never fight, the few 2-3 times we've had our differences and we got grumpy on each other, lasted for just a couple of hours, and those occasions were also just based upon lack of communication.
In the beginning of our relationship we had sex all the time, everywhere, in every position. We even did it in the elevator at my place once - we're lucky we didn't get caught
For the first 6 months of our relationship she was abroad studying so we only saw eachother for 7-10 days at three different occasions when I went to visit her. We got togehter just a few weeks before she was about to leave for her studies, but we we're both aware of this when we got together. The long distance relationship was a bit tough at times, but I won't lie and say that I didn't enjoy my space from time to time, because I did. This is only my second serious relationship so I'm not used to spending all my time with a partner, I still need my own space or I easily feel choked. Sometimes when we'd be apart for just an hour or so, she'd text me how much she was missing me - so while I was feeling a sense of peace to be for myself, I instead started to feel guilty about it.
Since she came back from her studies abroad our sex life has been declining steadily and the last 2-3 months we've only had sex 1-2 times per month. She's very sexual and she could still have sex 2-3 times a day. There comes a time in every relationship when you don't have sex for a week for the first time, and when that time came in our relationship she pointed it out immediately, and that kind of behavior doesn't help me one bit.
Whenever she points out that we haven't had sex for so and so long, it just makes me wanna have sex even less. Just like with the text messages, whenever I was perfectly fine with not having sex, or not be with her for just a few hours, she'd pressure me and make me feel guilty. (Not intentionally, but that is none the less how it made me feel). She even makes fun of it and calls me gay from time to time. I know she doesn't mean to be a bvtch, but that just makes me want to have sex even less.
Last week we had sex for the first tine in almost a month, and I only had sex because I felt pressured that we didn't have sex for a long time, not even during our anniversary weekend. So what eventually happened is that I couldn't go through with it, I eventually lost my erection - this is the 2nd time that happens with her. We had lunch on Monday and on Monday night she came over to collect some of her clothes. Not because we we're breaking up but since her parents just got home from their vacation and they don't approve that she sleeps over at my place (old fashioned parents,she has different religious background and all that boring stuff). However, it still felt as we just broke up, and we haven't seen each other since then, she's been extremely short on words the next two days and we haven't even texted each other since Wednesday, and this has made me feel very bad. Sick to my stomach so to speak - the kind of feeling you get when you lose somebody close to you.
Basically, what I'm trying to figure out is, if my loss of sexual attraction for her is totally gone, or if this is something that is normal? I'm trying to figure out if it would be any different if we did spend a little less time together, or if I'm just trying to use that as an excuse for not wanting to have sex with her.
I'll be gone working all weekend so I won't see, and maybe not even hear from her, until Sunday - if we decide to meet and have a talk. But whenever we see each other next time, I know that that will be a pivotal point in our relationship. Either we'll have a long talk and try to forget about it all, or we'll break up. I don't see any other outcome.
My biggest concern is that I don't want to leave her - I've never met anybody who resonates with my personality like she does. On all levels. Not my brother, not my best friends, no one. But that alone won't make it a successful relationship - so for that to happen, I do hope that my sexual attraction for her is just gone temporarily - but I don't know. Have any of you had similar experiences? And what have you done to help it? From what I know of my own sexual drive and attraction towards other women is that it changes. All the time. One day I get turned on by big tits, next day maybe I see somebody with a pair of fresh legs that turns me one. One day I'm craving pizza, the other day mcdonalds, and I'm not denying it.
However, this makes my wonder if I could ever have a successful LTR, because I'm sure that I whoever I might get together with, even if it's the and only HB11 on this planet, some days I will still find somebody else more sexually appealing. So, what the hell to do?