Relationship advice with single mother...

[latinnova]

Ok guys, so it's been a while and I have been having a blast dating this single mother. Let me get to the point. So... I have been dating this chick for a year now and it's been great so far. She she has an incredible sex drive that even wears me out, cooks for me, cleans for me, is a good mom to her kids and treats mine great.

However, due to her being a home maker for the past several years (before she left her ex she took care of the kids) it has been tough for her to find a job that pays enough for her to have her own place and to pay for child care while she is working. She shares custody with the father (week on, week off), so there is no child support for her. She is now losing her apartment because no one has been able to watch the kids and she has no money to pay for child care. I'm hesitant to let her stay with me while she gets back on her feet, just because of all the stuff I have read here and on red pill. She knows that she can never be dependent on me because I have laid those rules out, she supports herself, I support myself, done deal and I will not budge on that. I have not helped her in any way financially nor will I, and she understands this. My financial obligation is to myself and my kids, and same with hers. We pay for our own meals when we go out, we split the bills for hotels when we go out of town, etc...

If she does stay with me for a maximum of a couple of months she will not have any kids while she is with me because they will be with their father up north so that his mother can watch them while he and she save up money to get back on track, this whole shared custody thing ****ed both their work schedules up because none of them have family here. And I made it explicitly clear that if she ever needed a place to stay the kids would not be staying because it's a single bedroom apartment and there is no way in hell I am waking up to children crying every night. The kids are aged 2 and 4. She understands this. I don't mind the kids, they behave better then most and I get along fine with them, but I like my sleep.

She is a great women, she is beautiful, and I dated her in high school and she is the same girl I had known then personality wise, she is not putting on a facade because I have known her since high school. So does this sound like a **** storm ready to be unleashed over my head if I let this happen? I don't want to regret letting this chick go if this is truly who she is and always will be, because she really is incredible thus far and we really click. I know I will probably get hammered by you guys, but that's probably what I need to hear anyways to avoid what might be a potentially dangerous situation. I just need to hear fellow Don Juan's suggestions to perhaps get me back on track if I have fallen off.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She sounds like the total package other than the kids. Kids are not necessarily a downside. Well she's not using you except for male companionship and c0ck because your rules dont' allow for it.

How often are you seeing a babe of similar overall quality out there on the single market? I'm talking about:

1. Sex every night
2. Attractive
3. Fair and reasonable
4. WIll pay their own way
5. Will help you ( cook and clean for example )

Is that even a common thing in todays dating market place?

Maybe over time you guys move in together in a much bigger place, and she goes to a standard visitation where the kids are father for 2 weekends out the month. Right now this shared custody seems like it messes both of them up.

 

[latinnova]

She sounds like the total package other than the kids. Kids are not necessarily a downside. Well she's not using you except for male companionship and c0ck because your rules dont' allow for it.

How often are you seeing a babe of similar overall quality out there on the single market? I'm talking about:

1. Sex every night
2. Attractive
3. Fair and reasonable
4. WIll pay their own way
5. Will help you ( cook and clean for example )

Is that even a common thing in todays dating market place?

Maybe over time you guys move in together in a much bigger place, and she goes to a standard visitation where the kids are father for 2 weekends out the month. Right now this shared custody seems like it messes both of them up.

Ya the shared custody is messing them both up job wise, but the guys parents are super rich with an endless supply of money and they are funding his top shot lawyer completely and she was using a state provided piece of sh!t attorney who really cared about nothing and was just going through the motions. He wouldn't agree to every other weekend thing and child support, so he has been dragging it out in court for ever and wearing her out. She finally agreed to share custody it because she didn't have the fight left in her it was wearing her thin, and her attorney, well, wasn't worth anything. So now that he has the kids and is sharing custody it's messing his schedule up also, so who knows what the solution is. She doesn't want every other weekend and neither does he, but it's messing them both up.

Don't get me wrong, I totally agree about the mother and father sharing their kids equal amounts of time and wish I was given that option when I divorced, but this whole schedule that he want's is just jacking both their lives up completely because he can't devote his time to his own business like he used to because he has to take care of the children and it's completely drained him of his money.

 

[Powersurgeon]

Useful facts

What's her age?
Why did she get divorced?

 

[Bible_Belt]

A woman who is looking for a man to support her is not going to put up with dating you for all this time and not getting anything out of it financially. Plus, you've known her for 20 years. You've had enough time to make a judgment of her. It sounds like you trust her and think highly of her. I would go with that, at least until she gives you a reason to believe otherwise.

 

[latinnova]

She is 34 and still super hot and in shape. Her family genes are very good and most of the women in the family hold onto to their beauty until it's their 60's, if they take care of themselves. Oh, and just to add she is "fixed" meaning that she can not have any more kids, which means she can not hook me with the whole baby ordeal. And yes, I know this for a fact, she definitely can not have any more kids. She also knows that I will never marry her for the sake of my finances, retirement, and if she lets herself go she knows I'm out the door without ramifications, but I have no problem committing to just her in a long term relationship as long as she stays as she is.

She left the guy because he spent every waking hour dedicated to his job and was a **** to her when ever they did spend time together. At first I was like, "Oh your typical woman that elaborates the hell out of the story" but no, she showed me multiple letters that he had written her telling her how sorry he was for blowing up at her because she called him to the dinner table to eat with the kids, how sorry he was for never spending time with the kids and hardly even knew them, how sorry he was for punching the wall beside her face... yadda yadda" He also got fat as hell, like super obese. I saw the before and after pictures and couldn't believe it was the same dude, but that's not the main reason she left, it was just one of the many. He was obsessed with making money, which is understandable if your single and spend all your waking hours investing in your business, but he never balanced work and family life.

Oh, and the fact that he stole her identity, took out many pay day loans, car title loans, opened accounts in her name to do shady business deals, and other kinds of things involved with identity theft.

 

[Tictac]

Moving in is big. Unless you're ready for whatever happens after (and that could be anything) don't do this.

I had women roommates. Sh*t gets complicated fast. Neither of you will be able to hide from the other.

She sounds like a great chick. Only you know if she's worth the risk.

 

[latinnova]

I guess the only way to find out is to take the plunge and rent a larger place with a short lease agreement. That way if things go to hell I can get out, and if not then we can start looking for a more permanent place.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Wow that sounds great, a woman who left a guy who was dedicated to his job so he could provide for his kids and enjoyed his work.

Good pick there.

And yes, I know this for a fact, she definitely can not have any more kids.

Do you now? LOL... SMH.

I swear men on this forum are getting closer to the bottom of the barrel every year. How desperate for p00n are you guys? Stop making excuses for these wh0res and for yourself. She has kids, she's older than 30, she is SINGLE and actively failed a marriage. That makes her a loser and a total 0. If you date/bang a 0, what does that make you? You are the guy who fcks zeroes. She is the girl who married one, according to you. You are getting the sloppy seconds of a total loser.

how sorry he was for punching the wall beside her face... yadda yadda"

I bet he's sorry now he just didn't put her whole head through the wall.

You know I don't know what is more pathetic, men who date single mothers or you believing anything she has to say. Cuck much?

 

[MOTU]

Latin, I am engaged to a woman with relatively small kids, 5 and 7, so I have no axe to grind with single moms. That being said, a couple of things concern me:
- She can't support herself so eventually I am afraid you will have too. It would be hard to watch someone you love and live with go without.
- if you aren't ready for the kids to move in, don't move in mama. No matter what she says now, she will resent you for it. Or, you will feel bad and cave in the kiddos. It's hard to say no to a woman with your c0ck in her mouth.
- you don't seem to be in reality about where this is going.

I wish you well.

Edited for fat finger typing

 

[latinnova]

Like I said, just needed to hear different aspects from everyone and appreciate all perspectives, even the harshest of them, that's exactly what I was looking for. Of course if I did this I would get a rental for a year so that if the **** hit the fan I would get out no problem.

Also, there are no common law marriages in this state. You could live with someone for 10 years and still not owe them anything. I am not getting married again so I am protecting my own finances and she has no legal right to anything. We will not have any shared bank accounts.

Keep in mind that I have 2 kids also from a failed marriage. I like to see that a woman can take care of her kids and treat mine with equal respect. And I do know that she can't have any more kids because she had shown me the medical records proving the procedure was done. Not defending, just letting everyone know the truth. And, I would leave in an instant is she started to stray from the way she has originally been with no financial or legal ramifications on my part.

And the dude hated his job and what he did. She didn't give a **** about the money and just wanted to be a family with him. Even in his own letters he said that he cared more about money then his family, its what would make him special and stand above everyone else, and that's why he did it. Not for his family, but so that he could feel special about himself. The dude had serious insecurity issues. Don't forget that there are guys out there that will put on a facade and reel in the women of their dreams too.

 

[LiveFreeX]

And the dude hated his job and what he did. She didn't give a **** about the money and just wanted to be a family with him.

And you believe her.... If this woman told you she was secretly the tooth fairy, I think you'd buy it.

It's hard to say no to a woman with your c0ck in her mouth.

Ugh, this reeks of insecurity and 0 will power, this is how women control men in the first place. You are a disgrace.

Even in his own letters he said that he cared more about money then his family, its what would make him special and stand above everyone else, and that's why he did it.

So he prefers $$$ to Pvssy and you fault him for this? Captain Save A Ho's invade SS.

She didn't give a **** about the money and just wanted to be a family with him.

So he thinks survival and making money is important and she 'doesn't care about money' (because she isn't the breadwinner) yet she still marries him at the time and pops out some kiddies, then goes on to slam him for making too much money and providing for a family? Yeah that's a recipe for success right there. Do you all live in a trailer park or something? That b1tch in other parts of the world would be grovelling at his feet but here in Ameristan, b1tches know they are covered by big sugar daddy guv for their fvck ups in life and can get state mandated alimony when they are bored of being married. In China if you don't have money, you don't eat. If you screw up your relationship, you are poor and fvked, the entire community shuns you. It would do well for women and yourself to remember these basic facts of life. God Bless America, ruin-er of worlds.

Do you guys work in import/export because it seems as though you are used to handling damaged goods.

 

[Zunder]

Keep in mind that I have 2 kids also from a failed marriage.

Well dang. You're halfway to being the Waltons.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

34 old two small kids ... mmm... dude ... until you are disabled or fvck ugly its bad deal, damn I would prefer to import philipino and impregnate her than to play daddy for two little kids not mine.

 

[Desdinova]

Let her take care of her own 5hit. There are four kids between the two of you. If you move in together, it impacts a total of six lives. That's a LOT. It is also unnecessary.

My personal stance on the whole single parent dating situation is DO NOT move in with each other until the kids are all moved out. This avoids the potential to fvck up many lives, and it will also help prove your woman's worth. If she sticks by you until her kids are grown up and moved out, then she's a fvcking gem and deserves a ring on her finger.

Until then, the both of you need to focus primarily on your kids.

 

[latinnova]

Alright, thanks for setting me straight again. I felt it in my gut but just wanted you guys to spell it to the T of why I should not do this.

 

[YawataNoKami]

Sex is always great. Why? Because is the only thing they can offer.

Kids are never around during dating face. Why? Because she don not want scare you. A single mom is always in wallet/beta/chump seeking mode.

Of course the "dude" had issues , probably abused her too(sarcasm).It is always the same script. Pump and dump.Single mothers value is zero.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Latin,
Mate don't do it....Why?...Because you don't have to...Sure she is a lovely Girl,but the hassle her kids will bring into your lives,is inevitable,but Latin there will only be one loser...You!

 

[sodbuster]

I MARRIED a single mom.... when her daughter was past curfew, I called her on it, and heard "you can't chew out my kid!"..... They are yours for all expenses, but when they screw up YOUR life.... "don't yell at my precious". You NEED to get that sh1t discussed BEFORE she get's in anything with you.

Don't feel sorry for me, I USED her as a brood mare for my 2 son's.... they are both 6'2", athletic, and extremely intelligent..... both have/had academic scholarships to college. The genetics were good on her side of the family as far as intelligence and athletics.....

 

[Dryden]

Parenthood is ugly. You should just abuse the kids .

Seriously, I haven't read your OP yet but I have mixed feelings. The mixed feelings come down to this:

This woman is totally ready for any kind of sex, to phrase it like that. She'll be your sorry slave for the rest of the coming 10-15-20 years if you want that. There is only one thing in the way: when you have to be non-sexual (or whatever) with the kids and as a result of that they are going to overrule you.

Okay so now I read your OP. I hadn't read about her sex drive yet, so I was right on.

The point is that children become a burden when you can't F them. They become something you have to hide your sex with her from as well. In reality a 3 year old will have no issues whatsoever with the two of you fvcking while being around. In Indian (American) times the family members just ignored whomever were having sex. Now the Indians (e.g. Sioux) didn't have that great of a sex life so these men all started fvcking white women when they got the chance, because it was very hard to meet girls since you couldn't take one home (since you shared your 'living room' with your family).

And they also had extremely strict rules around not EVER flirting with your mother-in-law, in fact you could not even speak to her.

All the same it's not a 3 year old that has issues with sex, but a 5 year old does, because he/she has learned this by that time from sweet momma who tells her what's right and what 's wrong. So you get this rather unnatural trying to keep the kids away from the sex you're having which suffers every family everywhere. Almost everywhere. I know only one girl where they just have sex parties and I think the kids just walk around.

Back when I knew her.

So the point is you are very right in being afraid of this, at the same time you are being very harsh on her. The "no-support-ever" proposition is most unkind. Even if you don't have to pay her for her sex, if you really 'love' her or feel connected to her in that "shared fate" kind of way, why not throw money at her now and then, such as that split meal thing.... Now I agree that she shouldn't be your ... eternal dependent that you always pay for.

Because if you always pay for her, it means she becomes a kind of hooker and she owes you even more sex. She knows she is dependent and she knows the nasty spot she is in. Single mothers just have it really hard. They are on the looking for men like you and me, trying to subsist and not having any options in life, and the kids are always a problem, because the mother would move, but for her (15-y/o) son.

Like I have this chick in Romania who would consider coming to me but for her son. And another one in the UK .

Children are just nasty.

Now getting more sexual with or around kids will probably at first cause quite a social problem as the kids are going to talk about it to everyone (such as how big your c0ck is). They just blurt it out. Quite funny but people are starting to notice and think something is off . Sexual liberation, yeah... And after you might also get police inquiries into your person. Some friendly officers who would like to have a look in your house.

But with split-sex living in one room is just not really possible in our culture. So it is not really possible in any case in our culture since shared-sex is not possible either.

What I would do? Take the mom AND the kids in for one month and tell her you are going to abuse them. And then don't do it .

Then tell her the kids need to be gone again but she can stay another month and be used as The Eternal Sex Machine. Then you need three months off.

- one month with her and kids
- one month with her alone
- three months on your own
- repeat

The idea about telling her you're going to abuse the kids (I don't know if they're boys or girls, but I'm feeling there is at least one girl) is to get her to relax her mind around them noticing you and her having sex. If you can joke around with it, everything that is less bad than what the joke suggests, cannot be that much of a problem anymore.

And if you don't do that and if the "children are not ever allowed to see sex until they're 25" thing is allowed to subsist and persist, your life will become hell regardless. You need more freedom.

This is seriously (....) your best bet about having a healthy relationship with her. You can't just.... you can't just deny her living quarters totally.

The thing with women is to always conditionally accept them so you stay in control, because you devise the conditions.

Strangely I have this girl myself with 2 kids (but they're much older) and she was keen on being with me and she needed living space as well and I wanted her in my house because I was not there anyway. And she decided she was "in love with someone else". That I then saw having sex with another girl. I do not understand my own life at all.

Not just obviously having sex also walking hand in hand across town.

I'm in love with your girl you know. It's just this high school feeling. It's when you meet girls you've known for so long and you notice how much insanely much chemistry there is that you didn't know about back then.

These insanely warm feelings. The feeling of being able to trust someone so much. Just thinking back to some meetings I've had with some of them, those rare ones, and how I didn't just kiss her . My sorry life....

I run into random girl and ask her directions. She doesn't know. Then it dawns on me that I know her. I say hey aren't you the younger sister of this and that? She says why yes I am but who are you then? I am this and that. She and I were classmates for a while. Right. Say hi to her for me. Will do, will do, will do! Just felt like hugging and kissing the younger sister though .

I might be turning into that kind of storm where I don't care much more to waste even more time in life. Where I just stop wasting time. I have this sense of urgency in the sense of becoming this Unstoppable Force.

http://www.wowhead.com/item=19323/the-unstoppable-force

+22 critical hit
stuns target for 1 second.

You just stun the girl and you kiss her .

Anyway, I would want to be and stay with her. Don't treat it as "has to be mrs. perfect for remainder of my life". Please no white horse here. She is awesome, it's clear.