Okay, I really just want to ask her out or something, but i'm not sure if i've created enough of a foundation yet. Ughhhh, this is hard, but i don't want to messs up like i have before. This time around i'm more confident, i dress better, and i have more friends. I use kino more, and I know i can get something out of this
Hello Friend,
If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.
It will be the most efficient use of your time.
And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.
Thank you for visiting and have a great day!
Recovering from negs
- Thread starter Jokerlsk
- Start date
Alright, I think I did better this time.
She commented on my wall on facebook and said "yeahh Jokerlsk...i'm so mad at you. apparently i have side burns and man hands!!!"
and i said, "X, only cute girls like yourself can pull off man hands and side burns. haha"
She said, "whatever. i don't forgive you."
I didn't apologize btw lol
And i said, " I happen to think sideburns and manhands are attractive."
So did i do better or not? I'm positive i did. I used "congruence" like igetit said, and apparently she hasn't forgotten about everything i've said
She commented on my wall on facebook and said "yeahh Jokerlsk...i'm so mad at you. apparently i have side burns and man hands!!!"
and i said, "X, only cute girls like yourself can pull off man hands and side burns. haha"
She said, "whatever. i don't forgive you."
I didn't apologize btw lol
And i said, " I happen to think sideburns and manhands are attractive."
So did i do better or not? I'm positive i did. I used "congruence" like igetit said, and apparently she hasn't forgotten about everything i've said
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
next time you see her, give her a big hug, and say "you're awesome. i was just fvcking with you."
^^ Just grab your balls, NO excuses, just do exactly what i wrote above. The effect will be magical. Trust me. At this point you are just about to make everything right, or ruin everything completely (fall into LJBF or worse)
PS: smile when you hug her, and don't be REACTION SEEKING. just roll off after the hug, and leave her feeling good and wanting more, release any tension between the 2 of you, and get the higher status and be that cool guy she can dream about.
^^ Just grab your balls, NO excuses, just do exactly what i wrote above. The effect will be magical. Trust me. At this point you are just about to make everything right, or ruin everything completely (fall into LJBF or worse)
PS: smile when you hug her, and don't be REACTION SEEKING. just roll off after the hug, and leave her feeling good and wanting more, release any tension between the 2 of you, and get the higher status and be that cool guy she can dream about.
Igetit!
Moderator
LOL!!! You said that you think sideburns and manhands are attractive? Jokerisk,I swear man,you're a trip! I can't believe you said that to a girl! Man,when I read that,I almost fell out of my chair laughing. I realize that maybe you were on the spot having to respond to her and you probably just made something up right quick. Boy,that was funny. Alright man,listen:Jokerlsk said:
Judging from everything you said happened when you were on facebook with her,it seems to me that thiis girl is CLEARLY attracted to you.
In other words,the neg worked. It did what it was supposed to do.
Remember,judge a girl by her actions,not her words. Her words say that she doesn't forgive you,but look at her actions. If she were really mad at you,really angry with you,she'd just avoid you. She definately wouldn't be communicating back and forth with you on Facebook or by any other way.
You're getting it man. Yeah,it's slow coming,but bit by bit,you're starting to understand this thing. Let's look at what you did correctly this time:
First,you didn't apologize. Perfect man. That's one of the WORST things you can do after throwing a neg. You know why? Because you undo it. And you can't do that. You can't throw out a neg,then when she seems a little upset or offended,all of the sudden you go,"Oh,I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. Please forgive me. I wasn't serious,I was just joking. Please still like me! Please! Please!" You can't do that. You have to stay congruent.
If she gets offended and walks off,LET HER WALK OFF. I promise you that even though she may be a little upset,she'll still respect you. A woman doesn't want a man who she can't respect. You didn't apologize this time,which also means that you stayed congruent. Good man. Keep it up!
The only down side I can see is you saying that you think that sideburns and manhands were attractive,but even that didn't seem to cause any problems with her. She likes you Jokerisk! She does. I honestly believe that she is attracted to you. Just remember what Daygameguy said to you and use those things.
My only advice to you is what I have already said,but I'll recap right quick:
Keep your behavior switched. The behavior you normally use with girls you like,use it with girls you don't like. And the behavior you normally use with the girls you don't like,use it with the girls you do like.
STAY CONGRUENT!!! This is very,very important
Anyway,good luck man and keep us posted.
It happened again...... here's the conversation:
Me: (I was commenting on a pic btw) Wow your working the shades
Her:yeah and apparently i work sideburns and man hands right?
Me: Michelle, I thought I told you that man hands and sideburns are attractive?
Her:don't talk to me ever again. i'm still mad
Me: Awww....... How about I buy you some flowers?
Her: I would throw them at you!
Me: It's the thought that counts haha
Her: Your thought doesn't count
Me: Okay, I guess you aren't gorgeous, cute, or awesome then.
Her: Okay, I'm leaving. Bye!
I don't know if i handled that well or not..... I stayed congruent i guess. I never apologized, but wouldn't that of been the right thing to do? I'm trusting you guys, so fill me in
Me: (I was commenting on a pic btw) Wow your working the shades
Her:yeah and apparently i work sideburns and man hands right?
Me: Michelle, I thought I told you that man hands and sideburns are attractive?
Her:don't talk to me ever again. i'm still mad
Me: Awww....... How about I buy you some flowers?
Her: I would throw them at you!
Me: It's the thought that counts haha
Her: Your thought doesn't count
Me: Okay, I guess you aren't gorgeous, cute, or awesome then.
Her: Okay, I'm leaving. Bye!
I don't know if i handled that well or not..... I stayed congruent i guess. I never apologized, but wouldn't that of been the right thing to do? I'm trusting you guys, so fill me in
Igetit!
Moderator
Wow,dude. That was one heck of a conversation between you two.
Hey man,that line you said about her not being gorgeuos,cute or awesome,you might want to be careful with that man. Joking around with a woman about her appearance is something you don't want to get into.
I don't know if you can see what's actually going on here,because you're involved in it. It's easier for people on the outside looking in to see what's happening. You do realize that even though she claims to be mad at you,and keeps saying thay she doesn't forgive you,she still keeps contacting and talking to you,right? You do see that,don't you? That's good!
Unfortunately this thing seems to be dragging on. Eventually,the two of you will have to have a date,or you'll just fall into the friendzone. What I'd like to know is how long have you known her,and how long these conversations have been going on between the two of you.
The good part is that she keeps on bring up the past negs you threw at her. She might be bringing them up trying to get you to apologize for saying them to her. DON'T DO IT! Don't undo the negs.
Answer the above questions about how long you've known her and how long these convos have been going on with you two.
Hey man,that line you said about her not being gorgeuos,cute or awesome,you might want to be careful with that man. Joking around with a woman about her appearance is something you don't want to get into.
I don't know if you can see what's actually going on here,because you're involved in it. It's easier for people on the outside looking in to see what's happening. You do realize that even though she claims to be mad at you,and keeps saying thay she doesn't forgive you,she still keeps contacting and talking to you,right? You do see that,don't you? That's good!
Unfortunately this thing seems to be dragging on. Eventually,the two of you will have to have a date,or you'll just fall into the friendzone. What I'd like to know is how long have you known her,and how long these conversations have been going on between the two of you.
The good part is that she keeps on bring up the past negs you threw at her. She might be bringing them up trying to get you to apologize for saying them to her. DON'T DO IT! Don't undo the negs.
Answer the above questions about how long you've known her and how long these convos have been going on with you two.
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
You have fallen into the friends zone.
Welcome to the reality.
Only way out - change. Let her see you as a player around other girls, if she sees other girls chasing you, she will start feeling the sense of loss.
Welcome to the reality.
Only way out - change. Let her see you as a player around other girls, if she sees other girls chasing you, she will start feeling the sense of loss.
It's nothing new......... This happens to me every time. Thanks for being honest daygameguy. It's ironic that before girls know me they think i'm a player or something, and when they get to know me they realize that i'm just a "nice guy."
Anyways........ A Freshman likes me a lot, and she's prettier than this other girl, even though i like the other girl more. How could I use this as an adv.?
CHECK INBOX DAYGAMEGUY
Anyways........ A Freshman likes me a lot, and she's prettier than this other girl, even though i like the other girl more. How could I use this as an adv.?
CHECK INBOX DAYGAMEGUY
Igetit!
Moderator
Alright man,I think this is where a little bit of Daygameguy's wisdom will come in handy. The next time you talk to her,if she brings up those past negs again,hit her with ANOTHER neg. Nothing too harsh. I know it's hard to come up with negs on the spot,so you might want to take the time to think of some before talking to her again. Now,I remember a question you had about what to do after negging a girl. What you do is you qualify her. After you throw the neg,ask her something like,"Do you know how to cook? And I'm not talking about boiled eggs and Ramen noodles,I mean COOK cook".
Then if she says yes,then act as if you're impressed. Say something like,"Wow,you're seriously know how to cook. Maybe there's more to you than I thought".
So the formula should be:Open(starting to the girl),then you neg her,then you qualify her,THEN you show your interest in her.
So next time the two of you talk,neg her again,(slightly),then quality her,then you can show some type of interest in her.
Then if she says yes,then act as if you're impressed. Say something like,"Wow,you're seriously know how to cook. Maybe there's more to you than I thought".
So the formula should be:Open(starting to the girl),then you neg her,then you qualify her,THEN you show your interest in her.
So next time the two of you talk,neg her again,(slightly),then quality her,then you can show some type of interest in her.
daygameguy
Master Don Juan
Follow my advice with this new girl:Jokerlsk said:
1.Do not include the other girl in this, she will prolly ruin your game.
2.Don't talk much. Just move her around. Bounce as much as possible. Freshmen girls have high energy. Just blitz her with cool ideas to go out and spend time together. Do this on a regular basis, sometimes as a group, but more often just the 2 of you.
3. Since you dint talk much, you still saved yourself from LJBF zone. So when out with her, talk about HER, let her talk about herself, and keep kinoing her, touching her arm, rubbing her hands, and only with your KINO, you will create that attraction and not fall into LJBF.
Okay, well i really offended the first girl. I apologized.......... I really did, but she still think that "i'm just saying it because i'm guilty." Seriously! Her friend even talked to me on the bus about it............ If i thought she was ugly or weird I wouldn't of apologized....... Girls + Jokerlsk = FAIL
This is just a bad situation
This is just a bad situation
Daniel1982
Don Juan
- Joined
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Chill man, just treat this girl like nothing happened, say hello, do small talk (2-4 mins), and bounce off, don't let it show that it phases you cuz you'll be validating her feelings. If you do this, she may start to think that she overreacted. Be the mature one.
Meanwhile, do what daygameguy told you with this other girl, spin that plate. It may come in handy, as in making the negged girl jealous. Otherwise, this new girl is more cute, right? It's a win - win
Meanwhile, do what daygameguy told you with this other girl, spin that plate. It may come in handy, as in making the negged girl jealous. Otherwise, this new girl is more cute, right? It's a win - win
Yeah, well I asked her if she actually thought I meant any of that. And she said yeah, and I said she was amazing and gave her a hug...... Yeah, I know, that was AFC... I was the mature one though I guess. I never apologized, even though her friend on the bus told me to.
Igetit!
Moderator
I think that Daygameguy's right about you being in the friendzone with this girl. It's over with,but the good news is that there's always another girl,therefore,there's always another chance. The thing that I don't get about this girl is that if she doesn't like you,if she isn't interested in you,then what does she care what you think about her? If she doesn't like you and she's interested in another guy or already dating someone else,why is what you say or think about her appearance so important to her?
I guess you see how powerful negs are now,huh Jokerisk? They ain't nothing to be played with. If you use them,you better be careful and know what you're doing.
To me,I just think she was after validation. The past 5000 guys she came in contact with all told her that she was beautiful,or told her how "hot" she was,then she finally ran into you,who because of the info here on Sosuave didn't bow down to her. All she wanted was you to break down and tell her she was hot like the other 5000 guys before you did,then she could ignore you and toss you to the side like she did the others.
Well Jokerisk,you undid the neg. You gave her a hug and told her she's amazing. Did any of that help you towards dating this girl,or have you just given up on her and decided to move on? The girl who talked to you on the bus about apologizing,has she said anything to you about how the other girl feels now that you've apologized?
I agree with what you said earlier about this being a bad situation. Maybe it's best to just forget about her and move on. If you do that though,I GUARANTEE you that if this girl finds out you're dating someone else,guess what? She'll be back at your front door begging for more attention.
I guess you see how powerful negs are now,huh Jokerisk? They ain't nothing to be played with. If you use them,you better be careful and know what you're doing.
To me,I just think she was after validation. The past 5000 guys she came in contact with all told her that she was beautiful,or told her how "hot" she was,then she finally ran into you,who because of the info here on Sosuave didn't bow down to her. All she wanted was you to break down and tell her she was hot like the other 5000 guys before you did,then she could ignore you and toss you to the side like she did the others.
Well Jokerisk,you undid the neg. You gave her a hug and told her she's amazing. Did any of that help you towards dating this girl,or have you just given up on her and decided to move on? The girl who talked to you on the bus about apologizing,has she said anything to you about how the other girl feels now that you've apologized?
I agree with what you said earlier about this being a bad situation. Maybe it's best to just forget about her and move on. If you do that though,I GUARANTEE you that if this girl finds out you're dating someone else,guess what? She'll be back at your front door begging for more attention.