Opinion..

[drf408]

"Are you sure this was a "date"? This sounds more like when I go to lunch or even dinner with my female co-workers (that happen to be my friends too).

You need to provide more details.

Did you two kiss?

Did you two flirted?

Did the conversation turned out sexual?


Other than that...it appears you two are more like friends than anything else."

Absolutely, she actually referred to it to as date herself during the night. She isnt a co-worker. Someone I see at the local food court (plaza) once in a while. She said she saw me (same time I first remember seeing her) and was like ...wow..(she implied some serious attraction). Unfortunately no kissing. The replies to my first post are dead on. I was boring, i wasnt myself. I need to kick this, I met a girl that was far hotter at the club over the weekend but had no interest otherwise, no problem.. done deal. But the very rare occasion I meet a girl that I like, especially one with such build up..I go into the "thinking zone". I dont do things I normally would and second guess everything, I guess I feel there is actually something to lose. I doubt I was clingy, if anything i was too passive.

 

[reset]

Well that changes it a little, don't know why I thought she was a co-worker. You just took it too seriously, didn't pick up on IOI's during the date so didn't know when to escalate, or if to escalate.

Did you notice anything during your date that indicated attraction from her to you? What about this second date?

 

[JackPrescott]

It appears that this woman is probably not interested in you. Its seems that you were being clingy after the date. Your chances of hooking up with this girl are probably very slim. Search the Ganji games on sosuave, This may help.

If I was in your shoes I would not pursue this girl. Its seems like a tough pull. When woman are interested they will be very receptive to your calls and emails.It appears this girl is not. Take this as a learning experience and get back out on the game. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Pursue one who has a high interest level in you.

Great post. A woman who is interested in you will find excuses and ways to spend 1 on 1 time with you.

 

[Desdinova]

Unfortunately no kissing.

The kiss comes automatically when she is highly attracted to you. You won't even have to think about when to kiss her because it will happen automatically. Work on having fun on your dates and getting emotional reactions from you. Good flirting and kino cause emotional reactions.

 

[drf408]

Sorry browser issues today messing my posts up..

 

[drf408]

As someone already posted, I ended up being boring and safe..she had asked me what I thought of her when I first saw her about 6 months ago..my reply was lame meanwhile hers was something along the lines of "I was like mmmmm..." expressing attraction. Though I think I did my damage with the emailing more than anything that went down that night.

 

[drf408]

"Did you notice anything during your date that indicated attraction from her to you? What about this second date?"

Well her asking when I first noticed her, and it was the same for her and her expressing that she had attraction right away. A lot of touches on the arm etc. , she has plenty of guy friends and anytime one came up in a story she would back track and explain her relationship.."hes just a friend, engaged.." etc. I've been on many dates in my day and I may not have been on my ideal game but I think anyone wouldve left thinking there would be a next one.

 

[reset]

she has plenty of guy friends and anytime one came up in a story she would back track and explain her relationship.."hes just a friend, engaged.." etc.

Lame. I'm assuming you didn't bring these guys up. Her bringing up other men was disrespectful and possibly to see how jealous you would get. Looks like you didn't lose much.

 

[Latinoman]

Lame. I'm assuming you didn't bring these guys up. Her bringing up other men was disrespectful and possibly to see how jealous you would get. Looks like you didn't lose much.

She brought them up because it was probably part of the conversation and then realized that she brought them up...and wanted to make sure he understood they were just friends, etc.

 

[Latinoman]

I agree that she was then attracted to you. In fact, she was VERY attracted to you. When you asked her out, she probably created this fantasy in her mind.

I feel you behaved, perhaps in your emails, in a way that shut down that fantasy. As I said, it takes a lot of skills when doing email/texts.

Once a woman shows lot of attraction for me, to the point that she tells me...I try to isolate and seduce (without over doing it). And with "seduce", I don't mean sex. I mean...kissing (as that adds to their fantazy). I even go for the surprise kiss if I know she is going to like it. I don't play around...but that's part of my personallity. But even...if that does not take place during our first interaction...I make sure it takes place during the second one IF attraction was already shown (or told) by her.

The email part is tricky...because I add to her fantasy. At least until the sex part takes place (that would release the pressure).

You obviously attract "hot" women. At least you got that well covered as it is NATURAL in you. You just have to work in not getting them "unattracted" to you.

See how easy is your situation? A LOT better than guys having problem attracting anyone.

 

[reset]

Maybe. I can only go from my (admittedly limited) experience and I got the same thing, she told me about all her male friends without me even asking and turned out to be a huge pyscho AW so I may be overly sensitive to it.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

What did you talk about during your dates? Give us a run down of what happened.

 

[reset]

You obviously attract "hot" women. At least you got that well covered as it is NATURAL in you. You just have to work in not getting them "unattracted" to you.

See how easy is your situation? A LOT better than guys having problem attracting anyone.

Lol I relate to this. I like the way you phrased that.

 

[Latinoman]

What did you talk about during your dates? Give us a run down of what happened.

Excellent question.

This guy is in a unique situation. He obviously attracts "hot" women. His problem is that somehow he manages to decrease (considerably) their interest level.

 

[drf408]

I do end up with very hot women, and I'm saying that for the point of braggin but to illustrate how much of a idiot i am if I actually am interested. I thought it may have helped me that I was getting eye F-d by a couple of girls at the restaurant, she picked up on it to see if I was reciprocating..and I wasnt I acted oblivious. I agree, i think most women would be fine with the date..but the emails and such probably did me in.

"Originally Posted by Rollo Tomassi
What did you talk about during your dates? Give us a run down of what happened."

= nearly everything, we seemed to click on a LOT of things so much so that I chose not to jump with "me too!" for fear of sounding like I am just trying to agree with her.
= her family, my family
= music
= what we like to do outside of work
= a lot of joking around..

As mentioned before, things like what did I think when i first saw her, when was the first time I noticed her. She answered the latter firs and I was very surprised it was the same time for both of us, that was nearly 6 months ago and only for a few minutes as I was eating with co-workers a table over..I took that as a good sign.

We were the last to leave the restaurant...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

We were the last to leave the restaurant...

bingo.

 

[reset]

Rollo would you have an internal clock that said "ok it's been a while, let's make a move then leave her hanging"?

When you like a chick (really like, interested in) you do want to spend as much time talking as possible because it's like a drug. It's hard to step back and calibrate for maximum yearning.

Maybe that comes with more experience, but you need to know "this has been too much of a good thing for just a little too long--quite while you're ahead".

 

[Latinoman]

Rollo would you have an internal clock that said "ok it's been a while, let's make a move then leave her hanging"?

When you like a chick (really like, interested in) you do want to spend as much time talking as possible because it's like a drug. It's hard to step back and calibrate for maximum yearning.

Maybe that comes with more experience, but you need to know "this has been too much of a good thing for just a little too long--quite while you're ahead".

I play it by ear. "Too long" in my eyes is if I spent hours...and did not even get a kiss (and I'm not talking about a peck on my lips either). If there is attraction established...you better believe that I will escalate (seduce) her. I will make sure she thinks about me all night long. I might even phuck her that same day (as I'm notorious for doing that) or simply buy myself another day in case I change my mind (I don't have sex with anyone).

Now...if I spent hours...and it lead to a great make out session or sex...oh well. ;-)

 

[jophil28]

Now there is a clue.

It appears that what you are describing in this quote is your anxiety level going through the roof. Why ? Because you are terrified that she will not APPROVE of you . THis kind of fear is at its peak on the first date with a HOT women.
Several points need to be understood here about social or dating anxiety.
If you are THAT nervous she will pick it up. Make no mistake about that. Nervous men, or women for that matter, are not attractive because it sends the message that you are not confident. Do not believe that you can cover up your anxiety either - can YOU sense when a woman is nervous? I can, in minute detail.
SEcondly, numerous meta messages flow freely from a nervous man... " She is a princess and a prize" . ."She is out of my league" .. "I am not worthy.."
" I need to PLEASE her to get her approval ."... "This is probably not going to work out" .."She is not going to like me."
There are more, but you get the gist of what I am saying.
Confident men send NONE of these messages and confident men attract women and usually get that second date. Why? Because he sets the frame of power and control by creating an air of VALUE about himself. SHe then is usually the anxious one seeking HIS approval.
THis is sometoimes called the PRIZE mentality and it works.

It sounds to me like you will benefit from more reading about "prizing " yourself and then some field practice.

Good hunting.

 

[drf408]

Agreed. It just sucks that I blow it with one I had sincere interest in. I have date with a girl tomorrow, that I could care less about, and she's absolutely gorgeous..but i think since I don't care I don't think and it just happens naturally.