Online Personals (Merged threads)

Safari

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They will never tell you the man:woman ratio, because it is in the neighboorhood of 5:1 to 10:1, and that's counting girls most would never take a second look at, and also the fake ads.

I used match.com and yahoo, and gave up because of the overwhelming number of fake ads leading to porn sites. To me, it wasn't worth the time investment in crafting clever, individualized emails, and then getting spammed for it. Moreover, both sites cared little to remove these ads (in a timely manner, or at all) when I complained, probably because the attractive photos generate a lot of male $ub$cription$.

What few decent women are left online are bombarded with hundreds of emails. I'm not saying it's impossible, but in my opinion, its a big red herring. Save your money...no matter what your situation, your odds are far better offline.
 

olddog

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Bust em'

OK,

You've sent 50 and gotten no replies. Start being outrageous when sending them out. Are all your e-mails dull?

How about something like...
-------------
I saw your profile and you look like an interesting woman. Trouble is your profile was about as interesting as watching two snails in a fistfight! ;-)

Mmmmm.... I'm a local alligator wrestler who has been featured on America's Funniest Videos and Meet the Nation. I have my own line of sexy underwear called Gator-Briefs (imagine room for a 10" gator's tail at the front of the boxers)
-------------

Heck. If you're batting .000 why not try sending e-mails with completely inane, absurd crap in them?

I'll bet you at least start getting some responses even if they just tell you to piss off!

I had fun writing the above fictitious e-mail and this whole dating, meeting women thing is about having fun. You clearly aren't having fun.
 

DJinArizona

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I've done very well online but it was after some trial and error. I bought the $10 guide to online dating by Louis & Copeland which was worth every penny. I used one of the sample ads they give and got a great response from it. I also used the material they provide in responding to women's ads.
 

corruptrelic

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I don't know why so many people seem to be against online dating. I've had a lot of success with it so I recommend it and still do it myself.
I'm just the opposite of what was said though, after getting the experience from online dating, I came to realize that the same people online were the same people you see every day. The same girls who are waiting for guys like us to approach them.
Point is, online dating can be a great way to meet new people and it's definitely something that will give you the confidence you need for real world approaches.

Since I met around 20 girls from the internet last year (from online to in person) I have no complaints against it.
The main thing you should do is work on getting the girl from online to the real world ASAP - forget about the online "chat buddies" BS, you'll wind up in the friend zone before you even meet her since she gets plenty of time to get bored of you talking online. (Where you can' apply kino and be physical at the same time as the getting to know.)

I agree with the edge that this does sound kind of desperate and that's dangerous because if you do meet a girl and she expresses a little interest in you, with that kind of attitude you seem like you'd jump all over her and probably end up pushing her away instead. (Thus, one-itis.)
So if you do meet a girl stay true to everything you've learned and don't jump in so fast or you'll probably end up getting hurt.

Some free online dating services:
www.matchdoctor.com
www.love.org
www.datingclub.com
www.blinddatetv.com

The male to female ratio is about 2999932532509280953280598 go 1 so a good personal and picture help.
All the emails sent? Just out of curosity, how many was that? It took me emailing 500 girls (cut&paste of course, impressive email) and out of those 500 about 100 replied. Out of the 100 I ended up meeting 20 of them in person. (Last year.) I joined yahoo personals, which if you want to try online dating you should probably sign up for a month of service from something like match.com or yahoo personals. On the free sites most women there get so many emails they dont have time to even read half of them. Luckily my profile stood out a lot so they still replied.
If you get one month access (yahoo gave me 2 months free) be sure to email EVERY girl in your area, it doesn't matter.. it's just practice and you're getting your money's worth. Is it worth $20? For me definitely.
Even if the girls dont have pictures email them anyway. Cut & paste like there's no tommorow.
Come the next day you'll have a ton of emails to sort through and can decide which ones you want to meet.

For a personal as crazy as it sounds, AFCness tends to work. (Before you judge it, try it!)
In real life be a challenge and follow the DJ "rules" but online, you can change things so you stand out.
If I posted my personal ad here (which by the way, I've had over 30 women email me first and about 50 put me on "interest") the way it LOOKS to a guy is "AFC".
But in a woman's eyes (online) it's exactly what she wants to HEAR. Do the same kind of stuff in person and you'll probably get LJBF'd but online you're looking to win her trust, and for her to see you as a good guy she'd like to get to know better - in the real world - which is exactly where you want to get her so you can start the kino immediately.

Just as examples words like "honest" "romantic" and "affectionate" get a LOT of attention. Trust me on that, when a woman sees something like "True romantic looking for an honest relationship" or something similiar, it stands out amongst the rest. Again anyone doubting this just simply TRY IT! I'm not just making this up since I've experimented with online dating for over a year now and have a pretty good feel for what works and what doesn't. And describing yourself as an honest, romantic, affectionate guy will work wonders.
On the actual personal page you always describe feelings for her - using words like "you" so it's like you're talking directly to her.
"Destiny" and "meant to be" are popular as well since a lot of women believe it was "meant to be".
Whether it's true or not or even if you're just looking for a ONS, that's the kind of online talk that stands out.

Once you get a basic trust established online (where she feels comfortable meeting you - shoudn't be more than a week, if it is, then you let her know you're life goes on, either meet in the real world or say good bye - most will choose to meet once they see you're willing to walk away) you can joke around about the first date, when you're setting it up for the first time you can say things like "So did you want to get a hotel? (Or would a motel be cheaper)?" online at least, you aren't in LJBF land. In person anything is possible, maybe she liked your picture but in person there's no chemistry. Maybe she weighs 400 pounds more than she said she did. Who cares? It's just practice and it's fun. The whole point of online dating is to have fun, and to practice for the REAL WORLD, which is where the same women are who you are meeting online. (Once you see this and see that most women will say they like to be approached by guys in the right way - and learn not to take rejection personally - it'll be a lot easier to start approaching and start looking in the real world instead of online, or you can do both. I find both ways to be effective.)

Aside from online dating try starting interactions with fat and ugly women. You know you could tell a fat girl (who has probably never been approached by a guy in her entire life) "you look beautiful" and she'll be in love with you.
I've had a few incidents like that telling fat women they look so beautiful lol it's funny as hell how at first they roll their eyes but then they start blushing and are like "Really? do you mean that or are you just saying that?" Who cares what they think though? It's what YOU think and viewing every interaction, every date, every new girl you meet as PRACTICE for the real girl that will eventually come (after you've shedded all AFCness and are ready to be a challenge to her) you'll be having a ton of fun and not be saying you haven't met any new women lately.

As a last word I'd seriously rethink that attitude a little.. I know what it's like to go a long time without meeting anyone (then again if that happens to me, it's my fault, women dont come to us, it's our job to go to them) but keep your emotions away for the first few women you do meet. If you dont and you're worried about finding a girlfriend and the first girl that comes along likes you, being needy or acting like she's the first woman you've ever been with will definitely turn her off even though it seems like it should be the other way around. And if that happens, another poor guy suffering from one-itis because he treated the girl way too good and gave her too much time to get bored of him and lose interest.

Good luck and have fun with online dating .. if you're mind is set on having fun and not caring what women think, that's what you'll be like in person and in the way you present yourself. Everything is in the mind.
 

DJinArizona

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Also, you need to either have a picture in your ad or attach one with the emails you send. Most women won't write back if you don't.
 

Bud Wiser

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Re: Bust em'

Originally posted by olddog
I had fun writing the above fictitious e-mail and this whole dating, meeting women thing is about having fun. You clearly aren't having fun.
This is key. Look, you really want a girl who's fun to be with don't you? Then she'll expect you to be nothing less than a good time, too. Fun is infectious.

I personally do not recommend writing your online profile narrative or sending out reply e-mails with an AFC tonality.

****y+Funny works. Women may not say it, but that's the kind of attitude they're looking for.

Last Saturday evening, I was having a lively convo during my date with a HB 8, whom I met online, about the kind of guy she was looking for. This otherwise brilliant woman blurted out, "a nice guy." Mind you, this was following her ten-minute rant on how today's average male has been victimized and "wussi-fied" by the women's movement and that there are no "real men" left.

She also mentioned that, even though we were on a first date (after the trial "coffee convo") she felt like we'd known each other for months. A ****y+funny approach presupposes this "it seems like I've known you forever" feeling and makes it a reality.

By the way, a ****y+funny reply saved my a$$ later in the evening when she upbraided me for being a bit too touchy feelie. (Note to myself: throttle back the KINO to four or five touches on the first date!)

There is only one reason why I'm now dating this lovely lady, who is nineteen years younger than I (and one other) -- my totally off-the-wall, whacked out online ad and e-mails.
 

much2learn

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Re: Re: Bust em'

Originally posted by Bud Wiser

By the way, a ****y+funny reply saved my a$$ later in the evening when she upbraided me for being a bit too touchy feelie. (Note to myself: throttle back the KINO to four or five touches on the first date!)
What was your comeback? I've had the same problem lately! :D
 

Bud Wiser

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Re: Re: Re: Bust em'

Originally posted by much2learn
What was your comeback? I've had the same problem lately! :D

"Whoops, I'm very sorry. I'm a physically affectionate kind of guy and sometimes it's too much. Even my guy friends say so! Tell you what -- new rule: from now on, only you can touch me."

Then a bit later on, I pointed to my wrist and said, "want to touch here?" She says, "nope." To which I reply, "Okay, Touching Time is over. Maybe later." (She giggles.)

I wouldn't give myself an "A" on this one, but it worked well enough. Your mileage may vary.
 

mahon83050

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I do not see why people knock online dating so much. I can understand it being AFC and desperate if you ONLY rely on online dating and do not approach girls anywhere else. However, my old roomate and i joined up( not the free ones) and it is not that bad. Of course, i am just using it as a back up, if something happens, it happens. Alot of the girls are attractive as well.

I actually went out with a girl i met online yesterday. She looked like her pic and a cute face and decent body. She was a kindergarten teacher who was divorced. However, she did say she wanted to strip, so i do not know how sane she is or if this girl is a good girl.
 

azn_dj11

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sucess with online date.

I went on a blindate lastinte. i met this girl online and before we met.i made sure i saw all her photos.
well it went great!! we watch a movie and we made out during the movies.
now whats next?? i need your help guys.. waht do i do next?? whne do i call?
 

azn_dj11

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is it desperate??

i was going to ask her if she wanted to come over because we clicked but I didnt want to feel desperate? should i have ask? when do I ask her to come to my house? 2nd date?

and is it desperate to ask a girl to your house the 1st date.. even though I know there was high IL.
 

Safari

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If you ask her to your house, she will know why. Making yourself so easy will only remove mystery and challenge from your persona. You may get away with some more play once, but soon afterwards her IL will sink like a brick in a pond. Be less available, let her wonder.
 

The Edge

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Re: online dating

yet i'm getting now where.
Hey lonelyheart,

Unfortunately, I have nothing positive to say about online dating. I believe its a chicken-shyt way of meeting women. Why?

1. You hide behind screens until you develop enough confidence to meet the individual in person.

2. People lie about themselves. (A lot easier to do behind screens)

3. It is definitely not a way of getting over being shy, or increasing your ability to be confident with women.

4. People lie about themselves.

5. You never really develop the ability to approach and close on a chick you've met.

6. People lie about themselves.

7. A majority of the women are being attacked by millions of emails from self proclaimed Brad Pitt look-a-likes..
By emailing them, you throw yourself at the individual hoping she picks you from a selection of other frustrated chumps.(Bullshyt crybaby antics if you ask me)

8. People lie about themselves.

9. The process of dating should be one that benefits both parties involved. In other words, you should both be given the chance to meet, talk and get a feel for each other. This rapport is what later develops into attraction, a then possibly a relationship.(Its too fukkyn easy to create a facade behind a computer screen)

10. People lie about themselves.

The Edge 'Some have it, and some don't'
 

ApocalypseCow

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The Edge, I totally disgree with you. I've been doing online dating for 3 months, and have been very happy with the level of success.

OwnerOfALonelyHeart, here are some things I've learned:

1) Do NOT email 2 chicks and expect one of them to be "The One." Email at least 5 girls a day. If you're lucky, you'll get a 20% response rate. However, you do NOT have to send these women novels right off the bat. Simply say, "Hi, I liked your profile and picture. Check out mine and let me know if you want to correspond". It is BS that women want the first responses personalized. Your goal is to make the AWARE of your profile, because there is a helluva lot of noise you are competing with.

2) POST A PICTURE. Don't post some junk you took with your web-cam, or a scanned in version of your ID badge from work. Get a digital camera, take 20 shots of yourself, and use the best one.

3) REPLY TO ADS THAT DON'T HAVE PICTURES! I cannot stress this enough. The ads that don't have pictures have consistently been the hottest girls I've gotten replies from. They usually send you a picture in private email.

4) Keep the emails casual. I usually go in for the kill - "Why don't you give me your number and I can call you?" - around Email #3, but it varies.

5) DON'T IM them. Need I say more here?

I've met 5 people in person from online, and set up more every week. 3 have been quite attractive, (and I'm doing quite well with 1). 2 have been duds, but hey, I'll take those odds. I got stood up by one chick who didn't make the connection that there was a REAL PERSON sending her emails, but that's life.

And it does help you overcome shyness. When a girl tells you, "You're picture is very cute!" or "You're even cuter in person!", it helps. Beleive me. After having success with some of these girls, I am chomping at the bit to go out and try some pickups at bookstores and supermarkets.

What service did you use? I used Yahoo Personals and Match. Match is way better, in my opinion. The Yahoo! site feels too lovey-dovey, while Match is more neutral.
 

1utfan1

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I agree with both responses. The Edge is correct, people lie about themselves; however, that goes with face to face pickups as well i feel. As a side note, do a search for online dating in these forums. Many people offered different views on this topic and advice on working on your profile. good luck!
 

The Edge

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Originally posted by ApocalypseCow
The Edge, I totally disgree with you. I've been doing online dating for 3 months, and have been very happy with the level of success.

OwnerOfALonelyHeart, here are some things I've learned:


1) Do NOT email 2 chicks and expect one of them to be "The One." Email at least 5 girls a day. If you're lucky, you'll get a 20% response rate. However, you do NOT have to send these women novels right off the bat. Simply say, "Hi, I liked your profile and picture. Check out mine and let me know if you want to correspond". It is BS that women want the first responses personalized. Your goal is to make the AWARE of your profile, because there is a helluva lot of noise you are competing with.

Guaranteed, surefire way of creating a successful relationship, be it LTR or STR... right???
Dude, listen to me... This is not a personal attack on the individual, but rather one on the manner of delivery. It's called pissYng in the wind
You have less of a chance gauging someone's interest level when you read a bullshyt email, than if you do it upfront and in person. Emailing may show writing ability, but allows for; No eye contact, no kino, no smiling...very key points to starting a relationship.
I question the quality of a woman who would pick a guy based solely on his writing ability.. Reeks of fukkyn Desperation to me!!

And guess what....no matter how long you guys e-mail each other for, when you decide to meet in person, you start all over again!! What a waste of time!!!

2) POST A PICTURE. Don't post some junk you took with your web-cam, or a scanned in version of your ID badge from work. Get a digital camera, take 20 shots of yourself, and use the best one.

People lie!!(Too many cheap, digital/graphic enhancing mechanisms available) This point has been beaten to death....
People Lie!!!!

3) REPLY TO ADS THAT DON'T HAVE PICTURES! I cannot stress this enough. The ads that don't have pictures have consistently been the hottest girls I've gotten replies from. They usually send you a picture in private email.

Pissyn in the wind.. Get ready to meet a shytload of fat women with great personalities. If thats what you're after then god go with you. However, I hope to god that you haven't eaten the day before you meet your 300lb, 48 year-old mother of four.

4) Keep the emails casual. I usually go in for the kill - "Why don't you give me your number and I can call you?" - around Email #3, but it varies.

Pissyn in the wind.. You don't know the caliber woman she is nor do you know the caliber of emails she recieves.... You're competing with too much of the unknown????!!!!

DON'T IM them. Need I say more here?

I've met 5 people in person from online, and set up more every week. 3 have been quite attractive, (and I'm doing quite well with 1). 2 have been duds, but hey, I'll take those odds. I got stood up by one chick who didn't make the connection that there was a REAL PERSON sending her emails, but that's life.


Reminds me of Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber..

Jim: So what are the chances of us ever hooking up??..

Chykk: One in one million...

Jim: So you're saying that I still have a chance huH!!!:rolleyes:

And it does help you overcome shyness. When a girl tells you, "You're picture is very cute!" or "You're even cuter in person!", it helps. Beleive me. After having success with some of these girls, I am chomping at the bit to go out and try some pickups at bookstores and supermarkets.

Do what you must......However, this will never beat actually meeting the chyck in person and going through all the natural steps, failing sometimes and succeeding during others..All conducive for the grwoth of an individual seeking to truly know how to enhance his abilities in meeting Beautiful women!!

The Edge 'Some have it,and some don't'
 

ApocalypseCow

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Edge, you are missing my point:

I've gone on to meet 5 girls so far in person. 3 where hot. Do some lie? Of course. But none of the ones I've met have lied (Some have seemed suspicious in email and I've instantly NEXTed them).

The girls I meet are in their mid-20's. They MUST be college educated and have a job. I get pretty good results when I filter on this basis. Is it a substitue for real life? Of course not. But it's another weapon to add to your DJ arsenal.
 

The Edge

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Originally posted by ApocalypseCow
Edge, you are missing my point:
The girls I meet are in their mid-20's. They MUST be college educated and have a job.
Okay, if you say so..... you win!!:confused:

The Edge 'Some have it, and some don't'
 

STR8UP

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Re: Re: online dating

Originally posted by The Edge
7. A majority of the women are being attacked by millions of emails from self proclaimed Brad Pitt look-a-likes..
By emailing them, you throw yourself at the individual hoping she picks you from a selection of other frustrated chumps.(Bullshyt crybaby antics if you ask me)

8. People lie about themselves.
My, my. Sounds like the same thing that happens in REAL LIFE to me.
 

ali_g

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I don't know what the big drama is - The Edge.

Like any other method of meeting chicks it is a NUMBERS GAME. And yes, people lie, but how many lies do you reckon you've got from the last woman you hit on in the bar. I heard DL say "People are all actors with strangers".

And when you say you want to get their #, you are finding out their true IL whether its online or face-to-face.
 
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