ok so i lost my job...

[docv]

well.. now its been over 2 months since my ex of 5 years walked out on me and literally disappeared. i have abandonment issues and i basically self destructed. i did everything wrong. i tried to contact her over and over again. her dad tried to contact me about paying part of her credit card that he paid off. my family in turn ble w up her phone and work phone trying to contact her because she has some nerve to live under my parents roof for 2 years rent free and then pull this stunt. everyting she has right now is due to me and my family helping her build a life. and now that she doesnt 'need' me anymore, she stonewalled and went dark on me.. she has the brand new 2005 car i bought her, she has the job i found her, etc etc.. what a flipping joke my life is right now. its my own fault for getting involved with someone like that.

i lost my job last week because i was sick and depressed and went over on sick/vacation days. i am going to be collecting unemployment so thats a plus. and i have decided to go back to my old college and get a 2nd bachelors in a subject i already have a minor in. i'll be living in a single in the dorms so i will be around plenty of people.. big fish on campus.

heres the problem. what on God's green earth sould i do with myself over the next 4 months?! it has to be something really motivating and uplifting. i'd like to travel but i have noone to go places with. i dont have many friends or family near me, i was a working machine trying to provide for 'us' and build a family, which is part of how i self destructed after the girl disappeared. i'm not sure what to do. i am very lonely. my life is upside down and i am living a nightmare. theres something wrong with me that i had a job paying over 75k and i just couldnt 'handle it'. i must start over but getting through the next 4 months is going to be hell if i dont come up with something to fill my time with that can get my mind of my ex whom i hope gets in a head on auto accident with an 18 wheeler.

 

[Jackman]

i lost my job last week because i was sick and depressed and went over on sick/vacation days.

That must be some serious time we're talking about here, because I've done this myself but never got canned for it. My boss worked sh-t out because I actually brought something to the table he couldn't easily replace, and no, it wasn't a degree.

My impression, and I'm being comepletely honest here, is that you've got to get out there and make a name for your own damn self. Get to know a little bit about what the world is like when no one is looking out for you except for you.

My old man kicked my ass out when I was 17. I lived on people's couches for years. Now I'm making 70K a year. The real world wakes your ass up real quick. Sink or swim. Tough skin. That's what you need.

 

[coldcoal]

Masturbation helps.

Yeah. Advice from a pro, right?

Loser.

 

[coldcoal]

Obviously.

 

[coldcoal]

Anytime, buddy. Anytime.

 

[coldcoal]

Obviously.

 

[coldcoal]

Go Fvck yourself.

 

[Throttle]

docv>> I've been there, just a couple years ago. First, recognize that it is fact your fault that she left. She was once attracted to you, and you sabotaged that. And she's not coming back. Your future does not involve her (except for the effort of cutting any remaining financial ties). Your next relationship will end the same way unless you shape up. You can use these next four months to change yourself, or you can continue to drift. It's up to you.

 

[coldcoal]

Ho. Ho. Ho.

 

[coldcoal]

Yeah. That was funny like 10 years ago...

 

[coldcoal]

Yeah. You're off limits.

 

[coldcoal]

Nah. It's still cool if you're a priest.

 

[absolut honesty]

coldcoal and sean cameron - you guys both need to be shot why are u being retarded together, when we have a guy here who really needs help!!!


buddy - all advice i have for u is, ignore this girl for the rest of your life, and move onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn far far onnnnnnnnnnnnn

 

[joekerr31]

man, a bunch of morons pissing all over this guys post. although masturbation was a constructive comment (although 1% of what needed to be said).

anyway, here's my 2 cents.

be happy all of this has happened. your ex probably would have ruined your life in the long term. as for your job, who cares, jobs come and go - life is about much more than a job.

what you need to do with the next four months is use them constructively.

its rare that you ever get 4 months to just chill in life, enjoy it.

work out. read. masturbate to midgets. whatever.

one thing i strongly suggest is that you get some a book or two about overcomign hardship in life.

probably the MOST important lesson i've ever learned in life is how to get back on my feet after life sucker punches me in the gut. if someone was goign to wipe my brain clean and said i could only keep ONE lesson that i've learned in life, that is the lesson that i'd want to keep. all the other lessons i could relearn fairly easily, or they weren't that critical all in all. but learning how to get back up after getting punched in the nuts and kicked in the face is the key to life.

anyway, if you want to talk more msg me, as i doubt this thread will be able to maintain a serious tone with the kawk jerking going on.

 

[joekerr31]

the best at beating the banana perhaps.

 

[RecoveringAFC]

DocV go travelling. See someplace you've always wanted to see. I love travelling alone. You're not accountable to anyone. Do what you want, when you want. See as much or as little of something as you want to. Just enjoy the place.

Vegas is great. Lots of fun happy people. Lots of energy and excitement. Europe is fun to. Explore and see the world.

The most important thing is to overcome your fear of going:
- Lonely? Talk to people
- Too poor? Europe is quite affordable: Hostel and a cheap flight
- No time? You have 4 months off
- Crime/bad things? Just don't go anywhere stupid.

If it's your thing go on a Contiki tour. They're reasonably priced. Lots of people in their 20s-30s and you see all the main sights.

Just go. You'll thank me later.

 

[Rudra]

You should definitely go travelling

In getting over times of pain, it helps a little to draw out a line of the life that is left... say 70 years for you... make it a line of 70 cm on paper... and then see the time you were together, 5 years, in itself a long time, but on the line you drew it is little. Then take the average time it takes to get over intense pain, which would be 4-6 months, and you see it is minimal... take the time it is said to get completely over a relationship, which would be half its duration, 2,5 years... little part of that line. It helps to put things into perspective... life is long, and soon you will not even think any more of that bytch that used and dumped you in this ugly way.

This is a kind of helicopter technique. Meaning, you try to rise high above yourself and look at yourself, your everyday trouble, from a height of 5 miles to put it all into perspective, only here height you would change for lenght of time. This technique helps enormously to get grounded again. Everybody should do it once a day... in the evening, to look through what happened in the day and put it into perspective.

Another technique that is used in getting over painful experiences is called framing. You mentally record the things that inflicted great pain unto you like onto a tape or paint it into a picture, so you can put it into the cupboard or hang it on the wall whenever it tries to get to you. This means, you give those painful experiences a frame and force it to stay inside that frame, you can then yourself chose when to face it and when to put it away in some dark corner.

You might want to talk to a psychologist about this and other approaches of getting over pain. They are the mechanics of the soul, they can help as surely as a lawyer can help with legal trouble, a doctor with your flu or a mechanic with your ride... you know that.

But that is only psychology. I think one of the main things you should do right now is go travel, open up new horizons, meet new folks, leave the country. Come to Europe, visit East Europe, which will be an absolute eye opener, not only about women. I myself am an expat living in Russia (St. Petersburg), Western girls I will not touch with a ten foot pole anymore. Russia is pre feminism, women still are women here.

One thing I can really warmly recommend to you from my own experience is a site called
www.hospitalityclub.org . This is a site for travellers on a budget, for young people, all free of charge of course. The idea is - you offer help and maybe a place to spend the night at your place, in your city, and in turn you get help and a place to crash all over the world. Security is a big issue, they have a rating system like Ebay. I have hosted about 10 folks here in St. Petersburg last summer and for me it was a great experience. I think the idea of the site is brilliant, and it works, they have about 280 000 members already. Check it out...

You should realize that this crisis you are going through now is a chance, as crises use to be. Nobody changes their lifes without pain forcing him to as a rule. So take this chance to develop yourself, see the world, get new insights. 4 months of freedom is a great gift hardly anybody of us would get. Use it.

 

[afrojiggles]

mmm....u need a vacation to some unique place in africa say kenya..u let me know i hook u up with really cheap places where u can unwind and enjoy ur self with babes howering all over u like flies on the mortician,lol..check www.chaleisparadise.com travel back in time to a palce with no cars,lol

 

[afrojiggles]

In getting over times of pain, it helps a little to draw out a line of the life that is left... say 70 years for you... make it a line of 70 cm on paper... and then see the time you were together, 5 years, in itself a long time, but on the line you drew it is little. Then take the average time it takes to get over intense pain, which would be 4-6 months, and you see it is minimal... take the time it is said to get completely over a relationship, which would be half its duration, 2,5 years... little part of that line. It helps to put things into perspective... life is long, and soon you will not even think any more of that bytch that used and dumped you in this ugly way.

This is a kind of helicopter technique. Meaning, you try to rise high above yourself and look at yourself, your everyday trouble, from a height of 5 miles to put it all into perspective, only here height you would change for lenght of time. This technique helps enormously to get grounded again. Everybody should do it once a day... in the evening, to look through what happened in the day and put it into perspective.

Another technique that is used in getting over painful experiences is called framing. You mentally record the things that inflicted great pain unto you like onto a tape or paint it into a picture, so you can put it into the cupboard or hang it on the wall whenever it tries to get to you. This means, you give those painful experiences a frame and force it to stay inside that frame, you can then yourself chose when to face it and when to put it away in some dark corner.

You might want to talk to a psychologist about this and other approaches of getting over pain. They are the mechanics of the soul, they can help as surely as a lawyer can help with legal trouble, a doctor with your flu or a mechanic with your ride... you know that.

But that is only psychology. I think one of the main things you should do right now is go travel, open up new horizons, meet new folks, leave the country. Come to Europe, visit East Europe, which will be an absolute eye opener, not only about women. I myself am an expat living in Russia (St. Petersburg), Western girls I will not touch with a ten foot pole anymore. Russia is pre feminism, women still are women here.

One thing I can really warmly recommend to you from my own experience is a site called
www.hospitalityclub.org . This is a site for travellers on a budget, for young people, all free of charge of course. The idea is - you offer help and maybe a place to spend the night at your place, in your city, and in turn you get help and a place to crash all over the world. Security is a big issue, they have a rating system like Ebay. I have hosted about 10 folks here in St. Petersburg last summer and for me it was a great experience. I think the idea of the site is brilliant, and it works, they have about 280 000 members already. Check it out...

You should realize that this crisis you are going through now is a chance, as crises use to be. Nobody changes their lifes without pain forcing him to as a rule. So take this chance to develop yourself, see the world, get new insights. 4 months of freedom is a great gift hardly anybody of us would get. Use it.

so my friend kak dela? i was in moscow, nishny novgorod, chuvash, smolensk and really lovede the women there, u just act high status and they fall for it with their naiveness and ***** generosity that has the average russians wanna clobber foreigners from russia..so hows petersburg ?

 

[lookyoung]

What you need right now is to take care of yourself. Be good to yourself.

Realize that most of us even the biggest DJ's have gone through heartbreak. It sucks but you will get over it.

You have 4 months off so these are some things you can do. Take advantage of it.

1. Workout weights.
2. Pick up a new hobby... Play chess, Martial arts, rock climb.
3. travel.


Ways to get over this relationship.
1. Ask yourself do you want to be with a person like this?
2. Read motivational books.
3. Remember what does not kill you makes you stronger. This relationship will make you 10 times smarter and stronger in the future.
4. Write down all the sh1t you hated about her.
5. Don't contact her. IF she calls you don't answer.
6. Talk to people about how u feel
7. Read the DJ bible.(this will help u get over it.


NO MATTER HOW HARD THIS BREAKUP SEEMS YOU WILL GET OVER IT>

REMEMBER TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS.


If you need someone to chat with than PM me.

Good luck.