TheException
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2013
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There are two goals when it comes to setting the 1st date with a woman.
1)Secure a SPECIFIC CONFIRMED date with an interested woman
2)Root out uninterested women and discard them
Keep these two things in mind as we move forward.
So you were able to snatch a hot woman's phone number...NICE! But the game is just beginning. This little transition from turning numbers into dates is probably one of the most troubled areas for most men. There are a variety of reasons from being too needy all the way to being too distant.
THIS IS A REAL "ROUGH SKETCH" MENTALITY of how I set up 1st dates with ease. What do I mean by real? I mean this is something I ACTUALLY DO. This is not some "theory" thread or a "I think you should do this because I think it would work" thread...NO.....this is actually tested and approved. This is not some KJ thread.
A)THE WAIT
So you just got the girl's phone number Saturday night at the bar....well how long should you wait? No longer than 2-3 days. So in this example I would contact her either Tuesday or Wednesday. Any sooner and you risk showing way too much interest way too soon. Wait any longer and you either tend to run into the whole "who is this again" or come off as uninterested and are only looking for sex.(which actually may in fact be the case;either way its best the girl not feel this is true).
B)THE TEXT
I'm not going to sit here and explain to you why texting is superior to calling by phone. The list is endless. If you are dead set on being a "phone call" guy you can still proceed. The key when making first contact is to bring up something relevant to the conversation when you first met. It's the best icebreaker especially if you can make it "witty". Also vaporizes the whole "who is this again" obstacle.
*conversation was about midgets in clown suits*
Exception: Got any "small" friends? I know someone hiring clowns.
HB: Hahaha omfg no! Your too funnyyy
And your off....
Doesn't even need to be that funny to be honest. A woman will make it funny in her head if she truly finds your attractive.
After the initial text, stay on this topic for only 2-3 exchanges and then move into setting up a date. You actually have to have one in mind before you initiate. Even though it gets a bad rep....I love dinner and a movie for first dates. Just a personal preference, so you don't have to set this up as a date if you abhor dinner+movies. Regardless of what you decide it should be smooth and confident....as if she already has said yes.
Exception: So I was recommended this restaurant called "xyz" by a friend. Lets go Thursday night(or whatever weeknight would be about 2-3 days away) and catch a movie after.
HB: Omg that place is so good. Youll love it. Im game
Exception: Cool. 7pm.
Very direct....confident....and you must leave zero room for "wiggle". What's wiggle? Wiggle is any time a girl can use a detail(or lack thereof) to slip out of the date. A time, day, and place MUST BE CLEAR AND ESTABLISHED and SHE MUST ACCEPT. Saying "that place is awesome" is not confirmed. She must say
"Im in"
"Im game"
"Sounds good"
etc
C)Time Up To 1st Date
NEVER INIATE CONTACT!!!!!
That's right. Once you set the confirmed date, you do not text her AGAIN. None of this "but what if she forgets" or "What about a confirmation text?". Trust me....NEVER....has an interested woman "forgot" about a date with me. They bookmark that sh1t 1,000 times and set up countdowns and all other things when they have a date with an attractive man(exaggeration obviously). Attractive men are far and few. And you are one of them! She is truly lucky that you wish to be in her presence.
What if she texts you?
Text back. Its a huge mistake to ignore or "pretend to be busy" here. Don't make it super awkward either. Exchange some texts, be ****y funny, be witty, be charming and this actually will INCREASE your attractiveness before a date! Don't be short on purpose. Im not saying sit there and text all night, but don't force an exit from the conversation. As soon as you are bored or the conversation ends....DONT SEEK TO CONTINUE IT.....LET IT DIE NATURALLY.
Never force the conversation to continue. That is her job if she wants. Even then....I will shut the conversation down if shes going entirely too long.(this is only time). But there is nothing wrong with exchanging 8-10 texts here.
D) JUST SHOW UP
Nervous, anxious, "what ifs", fear.....I know. A multitude of feelings as you get ready for your date. Just show up....everything will take care of itself. Don't send a confirmation text like
Exception: On my way!!!
NEVER DO THIS. Just show up....
QUICK HITTERS
1)What if she counteroffers a different day because she is busy?
Take it if you are available. Don't force yourself or change your schedule. A counteroffer is a good sign and I will believe a woman if she says she is busy.
2)She doesn't send a confirmation text?
So what....just show up.
3)She flakes last minute.
95% this is disinterest. It is very rare for me to grant a woman a second chance if she does this. In the rare event that she apologizes profusely and counteroffers....I will accept....only if I am free. If not I may give her a different day and time, but I will not sit here and play 20 counteroffers.
4)She doesn't show up.
*deletes phone number; proceeds into venue and strikes up conversation with a different woman*
5)She shows hesitation about accepting date offer
Will keep number....but won't contact. I think its actually a huge mistake to prematurely delete phone numbers. I reserve this for extremely disrespectful women. Can't tell you how many times I will receive a text MONTHS LATER from a woman, and then proceeded to have sex with her. Had I replied with a "who is this" because I had deleted her number....it would be game over.
6)She blows up your phone with texts
Probably just a needy or insecure girl. After the first exchange post date setup...I would then keep things short on purpose. Looking for an early exit often. Constant texting will kill attraction.
Just remember the two goals. If you accomplish either one...you succeed. I tried to answer as many questions as possible under the "quick hitters" section. If you guys have additional scenarios just ask in comments and I will try to answer.
1)Secure a SPECIFIC CONFIRMED date with an interested woman
2)Root out uninterested women and discard them
Keep these two things in mind as we move forward.
So you were able to snatch a hot woman's phone number...NICE! But the game is just beginning. This little transition from turning numbers into dates is probably one of the most troubled areas for most men. There are a variety of reasons from being too needy all the way to being too distant.
THIS IS A REAL "ROUGH SKETCH" MENTALITY of how I set up 1st dates with ease. What do I mean by real? I mean this is something I ACTUALLY DO. This is not some "theory" thread or a "I think you should do this because I think it would work" thread...NO.....this is actually tested and approved. This is not some KJ thread.
A)THE WAIT
So you just got the girl's phone number Saturday night at the bar....well how long should you wait? No longer than 2-3 days. So in this example I would contact her either Tuesday or Wednesday. Any sooner and you risk showing way too much interest way too soon. Wait any longer and you either tend to run into the whole "who is this again" or come off as uninterested and are only looking for sex.(which actually may in fact be the case;either way its best the girl not feel this is true).
B)THE TEXT
I'm not going to sit here and explain to you why texting is superior to calling by phone. The list is endless. If you are dead set on being a "phone call" guy you can still proceed. The key when making first contact is to bring up something relevant to the conversation when you first met. It's the best icebreaker especially if you can make it "witty". Also vaporizes the whole "who is this again" obstacle.
*conversation was about midgets in clown suits*
Exception: Got any "small" friends? I know someone hiring clowns.
HB: Hahaha omfg no! Your too funnyyy
And your off....
Doesn't even need to be that funny to be honest. A woman will make it funny in her head if she truly finds your attractive.
After the initial text, stay on this topic for only 2-3 exchanges and then move into setting up a date. You actually have to have one in mind before you initiate. Even though it gets a bad rep....I love dinner and a movie for first dates. Just a personal preference, so you don't have to set this up as a date if you abhor dinner+movies. Regardless of what you decide it should be smooth and confident....as if she already has said yes.
Exception: So I was recommended this restaurant called "xyz" by a friend. Lets go Thursday night(or whatever weeknight would be about 2-3 days away) and catch a movie after.
HB: Omg that place is so good. Youll love it. Im game
Exception: Cool. 7pm.
Very direct....confident....and you must leave zero room for "wiggle". What's wiggle? Wiggle is any time a girl can use a detail(or lack thereof) to slip out of the date. A time, day, and place MUST BE CLEAR AND ESTABLISHED and SHE MUST ACCEPT. Saying "that place is awesome" is not confirmed. She must say
"Im in"
"Im game"
"Sounds good"
etc
C)Time Up To 1st Date
NEVER INIATE CONTACT!!!!!
That's right. Once you set the confirmed date, you do not text her AGAIN. None of this "but what if she forgets" or "What about a confirmation text?". Trust me....NEVER....has an interested woman "forgot" about a date with me. They bookmark that sh1t 1,000 times and set up countdowns and all other things when they have a date with an attractive man(exaggeration obviously). Attractive men are far and few. And you are one of them! She is truly lucky that you wish to be in her presence.
What if she texts you?
Text back. Its a huge mistake to ignore or "pretend to be busy" here. Don't make it super awkward either. Exchange some texts, be ****y funny, be witty, be charming and this actually will INCREASE your attractiveness before a date! Don't be short on purpose. Im not saying sit there and text all night, but don't force an exit from the conversation. As soon as you are bored or the conversation ends....DONT SEEK TO CONTINUE IT.....LET IT DIE NATURALLY.
Never force the conversation to continue. That is her job if she wants. Even then....I will shut the conversation down if shes going entirely too long.(this is only time). But there is nothing wrong with exchanging 8-10 texts here.
D) JUST SHOW UP
Nervous, anxious, "what ifs", fear.....I know. A multitude of feelings as you get ready for your date. Just show up....everything will take care of itself. Don't send a confirmation text like
Exception: On my way!!!
NEVER DO THIS. Just show up....
QUICK HITTERS
1)What if she counteroffers a different day because she is busy?
Take it if you are available. Don't force yourself or change your schedule. A counteroffer is a good sign and I will believe a woman if she says she is busy.
2)She doesn't send a confirmation text?
So what....just show up.
3)She flakes last minute.
95% this is disinterest. It is very rare for me to grant a woman a second chance if she does this. In the rare event that she apologizes profusely and counteroffers....I will accept....only if I am free. If not I may give her a different day and time, but I will not sit here and play 20 counteroffers.
4)She doesn't show up.
*deletes phone number; proceeds into venue and strikes up conversation with a different woman*
5)She shows hesitation about accepting date offer
Will keep number....but won't contact. I think its actually a huge mistake to prematurely delete phone numbers. I reserve this for extremely disrespectful women. Can't tell you how many times I will receive a text MONTHS LATER from a woman, and then proceeded to have sex with her. Had I replied with a "who is this" because I had deleted her number....it would be game over.
6)She blows up your phone with texts
Probably just a needy or insecure girl. After the first exchange post date setup...I would then keep things short on purpose. Looking for an early exit often. Constant texting will kill attraction.
Just remember the two goals. If you accomplish either one...you succeed. I tried to answer as many questions as possible under the "quick hitters" section. If you guys have additional scenarios just ask in comments and I will try to answer.