OK, quick update. I wasn't totally accurate with some facts in my original post. Been in separate beds since March 2014. Had sex three times since Jan, but there was no real emotion...just ****ing. Been going out as much as possible...she always asks where I've been, who I've been with, etc. The other day she went with the line "I don't know what I want, you control me, etc., etc" I very calmly told her that if she doesn't like the life I've provided, than I am happy to work out an agreement. This broke through to her and she started telling me that our problems are all my fault. So there it is. Yes I've been taken advantage of, and I agree that if I left, she would probably come around. I can't leave my kids, they need me. Thanks for everyone who told me that we're done, prepare for divorce, etc. Every perspective has value. Would love to hear from the guys who still think I have a shot at fixing things...advice welcome.