new guy, wife treats me like ****

[Albatross953]

Brad, I should have used you as my divorce attorney...lol

 

[synergy1]

Men always lead, and women always follow. While people are quick to blame women for disrespecting men, it is men who lead the way and ultimately disrespect themselves first. the OP's situation is an unfortunate one, but he spent years fostering an environment where he was reward her for probably not being a nice person. I am seeing this among friends who are married...their wives belittle them in public and the men just let it roll off. The lone exception is a guy who keeps his wife in life...literally. She is not allowed to drink in public, must serve him, and has an allowance. Of course, their marriage is probably the best out of all my other friends who think its funny when their women disrespect them.

I guess my point to the OP is nothing about marriage, but about self respect. From what I can tell, he has none. Start there. Once you have a foundation that you respect yourself, start making your life where you want it to be. If you want to reconcile with this women, find a way. If you think the relationship is over ( which it probably has been for a while), move on.

 

[TheWho]

OK, quick update. I wasn't totally accurate with some facts in my original post. Been in separate beds since March 2014. Had sex three times since Jan, but there was no real emotion...just ****ing. Been going out as much as possible...she always asks where I've been, who I've been with, etc. The other day she went with the line "I don't know what I want, you control me, etc., etc" I very calmly told her that if she doesn't like the life I've provided, than I am happy to work out an agreement. This broke through to her and she started telling me that our problems are all my fault. So there it is. Yes I've been taken advantage of, and I agree that if I left, she would probably come around. I can't leave my kids, they need me. Thanks for everyone who told me that we're done, prepare for divorce, etc. Every perspective has value. Would love to hear from the guys who still think I have a shot at fixing things...advice welcome.

blink 182- stay together for the kids

 

[Longshot]

Can't write much more above what Colossus and Kailex already covered- spot on. But I do know that feeling in your chest, and it's rather difficult to go through that situation while learning from members here i.e. undoing years of being on auto-pilot. Do learn it, though; it's indispensable to your well-being and future success. Stand your ground, head up, and at least hold on to your guns.