Never seen anyone pick up a girl in public

[Automatic]

One of the biggest pieces of advice I see here is to go out to a public place and just start talking to women that you would like to meet. I don't know how many times I've been out in public places. I've been to different malls, theaters, and many, many places on the West Coast including San Diego, Venice, Santa Barbara, San Louis Obispo, San Jose, and San Francisco countless times. I don't think I've ever seen a guy just walk up to a girl and start talking to her. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that anyone is full of it. It's likely that I'm just oblivious to the obvious.

It's just that all the girls that have passed though my life I have met though circumstance. What I mean is, I worked with them, they were sitting in my class next to me when the professor asked us to get into groups, etc. All the evidence I have goes contrary to what is preached here. It is extremely hard for me to even consider approaching a woman I do not know in public, because my only reference point for this is what is shown in the media. Basically, what I've seen usually goes along the lines of: guy sees girl, guy goes to talk to girl, guy get slapped on the face, and people roll their eyes and laugh at the guy for thinking he could even try.

I know a lot of guys usually have friends who are more into going out finding girls and generally having a good time. The friends I grew up with were more interested in getting that next level in a video game or just feeling sorry for themselves and not taking any action. I'd often find myself saying, "Come on, let's go do something." Only to hear, "Like what? Everything sucks. Venice is stupid. Citywalk is stupid. This is stupid, that is stupid." But, as I understand it, these are primo spots too meet girls. The perfect place to suck up that fear and get what you want out of life

Can anyone please show me that men walk up to women and just start talking to them? How do I know that talking to a girl that I do not know is not a one way ticket to a slap in da face?

 

[LostAndConfused]

Yeah, I live in georgia and I've been to all the major malls. I go to them alot.

I've only seen ONE cold approach done EVER by a stranger. He looked confident but the girls called him a creep and left.

But cold approaches work man....at least I think.

I'll admit though I'm not that experienced, I only tried one cold approach and it succeeded just because everyone in the room liked me.

 

[WC2]

The real question is why be afraid of rejection? There are 7 billion people on this planet. A slap in the face or a rejection from 1 person, let alone 100 people should be the least of your worries. Successful people don't become successful by avoiding the situation; they've become successful by failing numerous times.

For every guy out there who is getting rejected or "slapped" in the face (which I rarely see, I think you might just watch a little too much tv), there is another one who is slamming a girl he just met.

As for your friends, it sounds to me as they need to get off their asses and grow some balls like real men. I used to have friends similar to these in high school who thought everything was stupid and never really got out and did anything. I couldn't thank them more though; they've shown me that you can't waste your life sitting around. Theres those who will sit and wait for life till they're old and wrinkled and theres those who will GO OUT and get life early on. It's not coincidence that these men are the ones who are wanted by all women, it's no question that these men are the ones who are picking up all kinds of women, single, married, you name it.

How long do you want to wait? Do you want to find life when you turn the ripe old age of 60? Do you want to be married later in life and regret that you didn't have more fun and explorer different things? I know this post hits a little far away from your approaching in public, but it's the whole principal of getting what you want. That is the sole center of manhood.

So to answer your post, maybe you're not seeing women being picked up in public because you aren't looking for it. Maybe it's the crowd you hang out with, maybe it's you being oblivious, who knows. Either way, it's happening around you and it's happening everyday. Hell, I just went to the Preakness yesterday and picked up a bunch of girls while my girl had her back turned. Sure, just all fun and games, but it's your duty as a man to keep sharp and explore even when you do have someone.

I don't know what your situation is; whether you're in college, out of college, working or what. But whatever life you live in, try to live it to the fullest. Take a look at those who are successful and ask what they do everyday that you don't. Ask yourself if you are doing all you can to learn and experience something new everyday. Until you start challenging yourself, you'll always have your life in park, while you really want to be in drive.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

In my early stages in this 'community' thing I did a lot of cold approaching. I had some good interactions but nothing that led to any action. Looking back though I'm glad I did it as it gave me a massive confidence boost and allowed me to get my opening down tight.

The biggest lesson it taught me was how receptive people are to strangers. Think about it: how would you react if someone approached you at a bookshop etc? Would you slap them in the face? You might not go home and bang them but unless they were really creepy you'd probably respond well just out of politeness.

Its probably never going to be the mainstay of your DJ career but its a useful skill to have and it will teach you a massive amount. Thanks to doing cold approaches I have no AA now and the social and conversational skills I learnt have been invaluable in other areas of PU

 

[ready123]

that's funny, I met my girlfriend from a cold approach, took her to Citywalk for the day 2

it kind of blows my mind how cold approaching on this board is made up to be something superhuman. to me it's just a part of being social and I literally equate the opener of a cold approach with being friendly. the AA most guys get is because of misconceptions. as long as you're not wierd, odds are in your favor that she's not gonna sht on your ego. closing the girl takes more skill but you're never gonna get slapped regardless unless you're a fvckin wierdo. if you're genuinely friendly, 90% of the girls out there will reciprocate you and that's a good starting point for getting rid of AA or building a social circle

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Are you on the look out for guys trying to pick up women?

 

[volkme68]

you probably see them all the time, and just don't realize it. When I or a friend have a successful cold approach, there is always one thing in common. I t doesnt seem akward at all. If I cold approach a chick, I just go up like i would to a girl I already know. A cold approach shouldnt look any different then a regular one. You have probably seen them done before and just assumed that the guy already knew the chick. That is how a cold approach should be done.

 

[BMX]

I haven't seen guys pickup chicks in public nor have I bothered looking for it. During my last city-sarging FR, I saw a bunch of guys gawking @ chicks as they walked by but I went beyond that and approached many women. I never ran into rude responses and was successful bro.

 

[Automatic]

Thanks for all the replies. It does make sense that, even though I haven't done or seen sarging in public, I also have not seen a guy get slapped as long as he's being polite. The girl would have to be a serious ***** if she did this. I mean, guys are supposed to make the first move, right?

As far as my position in life, I am just out of college. I managed to get myself a job I never thought I'd get in to before I even graduated. So, my career is doing fantastic. However, I ended up moving about 400 mi away from everyone I know. I'm just trying to get this part of my life on the track I want it to be on. It's just difficult, because I've always been a very shy and quiet person.

It's not like I'm a virgin or anything. It's like I said. They only women who have passed though my life before are ones that I met though circumstance.

 

[ElStud]

Well yeah, that's because not too many guys CAN cold approach and the average dude just doesn't have the balls to do it. But yeah, seeing another dude cold approaching in public places isn't common. For instance, other than me, I don't think I've seen any other guys in my school cold approach a girl. The average guy usually isn't comfortable with talking to girls unless they've known the particular girl for a while. A good example is my friend, he has a bunch of girls numbers and is comfortable with talking to girls he's known for a while, but he can't cold approach for sh*t. Then you have naturals, guys who have never studied game, but are naturally good at talking to girls.

In the end, cold approaching and seduction is for those of guys who want to be able to choose and get the woman we want. If you want to just get lucky with a girl like the average guy, then you probably don't need to know how to cold approach.

 

[rjones]

Its because its almost impossible to tell when guys are approaching unless you heard every word in their conversation. When you see two people talking you think they know each other already but that could be an approach you just dont know it.

 

[ElStud]

Yeah, but fact still remains though, that it's not common and that the average guy doesn't have the balls to cold approach.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

You should go to a club or bar and watch all the guys who pick up women. See if they fail or succeed. While your watching, see what they did wrong or right. Get ideas of how the successful guys pulled it off.

 

[ElStud]

Cold approaching always fails...
I only use cold approaching to give me 'lolz' or just as a tool to be like "Yeah I did that, so this will be easy."
Seriously just socialise more, 'sarging'... enough said.

How do you not cold approach and pick up women though? You need cold approaching is basically going up to a girl you don't know and talking to her right? That's all it is. You probably do cold approach more than you think you do, you just have the wrong definition in your mind of what it is.

 

[ItsOnNow]

Hmm,don't really know what to add to this,other than it reminds me of some of my own problems. I don't if it's fear of rejection,some sort of inferiority/persecution complex,social anxiety,or perhaps coming off as weird sometimes growing up. I already feel a great sense of regret. Also,not having the social life I want is a problem.

 

[PlayToWin]

Ok cold approaches work, but unlike other venues and styles of trying to pick up women, cold approach success is HEAVILY influenced by your looks. If you are only an average looking guy then cold approaches are going to have limited results for you. If you are an 8 or better, then I would say cold approaches work almost as good as other methods. Its just that a cold approach even executed very well normally comes off as creepy to a degree and is unexpected and normally done solo. Its just a solo cold approach in a mall is going to come off creepy regardless. Now if you are very attractive and well dressed then its not nearly as creepy and your looks will give you rapport in a way.

Initially meeting and attractive girls and getting there number and not having them flake is heavily based on social rapport. Doing a solo cold approach if you are average looking is not only diffucult to execute, it also gives you no social rapport, which means any success you have, the girls are more likely to be flakey.

Now after what I just said, its still very possible to do well on cold approaches, its just that you are going to have to be at the top of your game, at least decent looking and very well dressed. Cold approaching with a wing or two can make it much more successful as well.

As far as you saying you have never seen someone do a cold approach. Think of it this way, for one thing, how do you know when you see a man and a woman talking if they are strangers or not. Maybe you just think they know each other because the cold approach is going so well. Unless you hear the conversation from beginning to end, who knows when they met. Secondly there are not very may people who have the skills or the guts to cold approach. So you are right that these cold approaches are rare but they do happen.

I am not saying just to walk up to a girl randomly who is walking straight in the mall and say "hey whats you name", cause that is just not going to work unless your brad pitt or something. However a cold approach along the lines of being in a shoe store, and asking a girl which shoe she thinks you look better in, and joking and being c+f with her, then maybe saying that she could help you with some other buying decisions for you on something else and then having an instant date, is more of the way of doing cold approaches, but you are still going to have to be on the top of your game.

 

[macking]

"How do I know that talking to a girl that I do not know is not a one way ticket to a slap in da face?"
Whatt ...?
Look man .. you're unique. You have never seen a guy doing a cold approach, that is the reason why you "should" do it. Ain't nobody out there knows how to do it better than you. You have the ability to do cold approaches, you are able to have a 5 minute conversation whith any stranger.
Don't be pessimist, courage yourself walk out there and show your boys how should be done

 

[schttrj]

well, really they already said it all I think.

Man, Cold approaches was never a game depending solely on skill. It depends on other factors. don't take it too seriously. it's only meeting someone you think is interesting and want to know better. Sure, you will feel bad if others show you thumbs down when the girl ignores you or shuts you down rudely. but if she is worth taking the chance, then take it. she can come out like a ***** or an angel. now, if yuo want women in yuor life, then you have got to give it a try. I think before you go out to approach cold, you need to get your confidence right at place. if you think highly of yourself and don't really let others make you feel down, then you can go CA. or you will jsut hurt your self-esteem and kill your confidence at the same tiem. Get your life together first of all, then yuo can go for your girl.

On others not doing cold approaches or such, I can only say it's rare and even rare in certain cultures, but adapting ourselves to the present situation and still holding on the frame, thats what makes you successful not only in social life, but also in your dating life.

I have seen some life and my advice to all of the younger guys who are like my bros here: Don't run away, rather go up to it and win over it.

I don't care what others follow or do in their life. I feel its either do it or die trying.