Marriage

[greatsnake]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

 

[Billtx49]

Recognize that many people value personal happiness and well being over commitment. Lack of a good moral mindset, non religiousness, and selfishness come into play also.

 

[greatsnake]

Recognize that many people value personal happiness and well being over commitment.

i've thought about that

 

[Billtx49]

It can also be argued that a lack of serious open communication plays a part in it.

 

[purple haze]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

You have to find a woman that fiercely believes the same thing. Also, she has to believe that "the man is the head of the woman." Peter even said that Sara called her husband, "lord."

However, keep in mind that these are perilous times and it may be better to remain single.

 

[The Duke]

I wish I had the answers, but I don't think its possible these days. I think it would help to live in a rural area, there are simply less opportunities. Maybe join an Amish community? haha

 

[SkrooU]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

So if your wife gains 200lbs, abuses you and your children, cheats on you, and bankrupts you... do you still not believe in divorce?

I don't think people get divorced because they don't take marraige seriously. I think they get divorced because at least one of them married the wrong person. Try your best to marry the right person and be the best husband possible. All you can do.

 

[greatsnake]

It can also be argued that a lack of serious open communication plays a part in it.

i agree

You have to find a woman that fiercely believes the same thing. Also, she has to believe that "the man is the head of the woman." Peter even said that Sara called her husband, "lord."

However, keep in mind that these are perilous times and it may be better to remain single.

I do believe that women/man are equals in the sense we are both humans, but each of us has strengths.

I wish I had the answers, but I don't think its possible these days. I think it would help to live in a rural area, there are simply less opportunities. Maybe join an Amish community? haha

opportunities are a huge thing. lol, regarding joining the amish community-- I don't want to go that far as well.

So if your wife gains 200lbs, abuses you and your children, cheats on you, and bankrupts you... do you still not believe in divorce?

I don't think people get divorced because they don't take marraige seriously. I think they get divorced because at least one of them married the wrong person. Try your best to marry the right person and be the best husband possible. All you can do.

this is an extreme case, but it can happen. If that were the case, divorce would be on my mind.

I see your point and I agree.

 

[Dingo]

You can do all the vetting in the world but over time all people change... most of the time not for the better. I would have never gotten married if I knew it was going to be like this 20+ years later....

 

[shesabranchswinger]

You can do all the vetting in the world but over time all people change... most of the time not for the better. I would have never gotten married if I knew it was going to be like this 20+ years later....

I agree on the vetting and people changing for the worst. What are some of the Changes you speak of?

 

[Desdinova]

I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce.

Finding a woman who's going to fit into this mould is going to be a time-consuming process. You'll need to date a lot of them to weed out the garbage. Find one who is a virgin, or with a very low partner count. Your chances of staying with her will be greatly increased if she isn't tainted by dozens of c0cks.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

It is not about whether a woman is 'churched or unchurched'; below the veneer of Christianity, most church-goers are pretty secular and individualistic.

You need to find a woman who buys into a communal culture, where individuals like planets revolve around something greater than themselves.

 

[resilient]

People stop dating each other in marriage. Both sides could be selfishly thinking "Damn. I'm pulling my weight in this marriage, why am I not happier? or "Why does he/she always do _?" or "He/she never does _."

Resentment builds up like a volcano.

The person you marry today will not be the same person in ten years. You can take that to the bank. The problem with marriage is just like any other LTR, interest level is in full swing. It goes up and down and rises with the remains of the day.

Look at her friends too, does she hang out with unhappily married or divorced women? Those friends influence her opinion of her own relationship.

From my experience, making up from a fight may seem like communication "paid off" like it "should": the art of talking and listening to each other. Creating further intimacy, right? Often, I've seen that the talk/fight creates a disconnected chasm of resentment causing two persons to drift apart.

Marriage is tough work.

What I see now is entitled people looking at their SMV constantly asking themselves, "f this, why should I stay if I got power, infinite options, and disposable income?" The ole grass is always greener on the other side adage.

Besides, society and church is much more accepting of divorce now. "It's okay hun, you deserve to find someone better." With no stigma or guilt, people feel free to bail if the marriage stops serving them.

 

[greatsnake]

Find one who is a virgin, or with a very low partner count. Your chances of staying with her will be greatly increased if she isn't tainted by dozens of c0cks.

i agree

It is not about whether a woman is 'churched or unchurched'; below the veneer of Christianity, most church-goers are pretty secular and individualistic.

You need to find a woman who buys into a communal culture, where individuals like planets revolve around something greater than themselves.

It's not about church, but the morals/values that come with it.

Yeah, that's what I'm realizing.

People stop dating each other in marriage. Both sides could be selfishly thinking "Damn. I'm pulling my weight in this marriage, why am I not happier? or "Why does he/she always do _?" or "He/she never does _."

Resentment builds up like a volcano.

The person you marry today will not be the same person in ten years. You can take that to the bank. The problem with marriage is just like any other LTR, interest level is in full swing. It goes up and down and rises with the remains of the day.

Look at her friends too, does she hang out with unhappily married or divorced women? Those friends influence her opinion of her own relationship.

From my experience, making up from a fight may seem like communication "paid off" like it "should": the art of talking and listening to each other. Creating further intimacy, right? Often, I've seen that the talk/fight creates a disconnected chasm of resentment causing two persons to drift apart.

Marriage is tough work.

What I see now is entitled people looking at their SMV constantly asking themselves, "f this, why should I stay if I got power, infinite options, and disposable income?" The ole grass is always greener on the other side adage.

Besides, society and church is much more accepting of divorce now. "It's okay hun, you deserve to find someone better." With no stigma or guilt, people feel free to bail if the marriage stops serving them.

great points.

 

[The Duke]

Careful about the church goers! I've had two that grew up in the church, still attend church on a regular basis into their adult lives, and could quote bible verses. One of them has now been married 6 times and once told me I wasn't religious enough for her. The other admitted to fuhking 3 younger guys just because they were hot, and burns thru about 2guys a year, with 2 divorces on her record.

We live in a world of too much opportunity with zero ramifications for illicit behavior making it difficult for long term relationship success.

 

[greatsnake]

Careful about the church goers! I've had two that grew up in the church, still attend church on a regular basis into their adult lives, and could quote bible verses. One of them has now been married 6 times and once told me I wasn't religious enough for her. The other admitted to fuhking 3 younger guys just because they were hot, and burns thru about 2guys a year, with 2 divorces on her record.

We live in a world of too much opportunity with zero ramifications for illicit behavior making it difficult for long term relationship success.

I've heard several of these cases.

 

[dude99]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

Prenup. Make it slant to you in every way. If she has no intentions of leaving you then she won't have a problem with the prenup because she will never need to exercise it.

If she balks, don't marry that woman because she has a plan to take half your assets.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I'm a rather logical person but at the same time, I'm guided by my beliefs/values. I was raised in a christian home and because of my upbringing, I believe that there is no divorce. How can i bring these 2 together, when statistics show that divorce rates are at 50%?

Marry the right woman and know how to keep her.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Marry the right woman and know how to keep her.

Unfortunately from my life experience I have thought I found the rite woman 1 time and a hand full have made it close. The problem I have found is that most not all but most people change over time. If you can both change and still accept each other then you have a chance. But the way American society is now and women in general. They want to find a high value male and are not satisfied with the high value male they have so they try to upgrade till they run out of options and turn into cat lady's.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The problem I have found is that most not all but most people change over time.

No, the problem is most husbands get fat, weak, complacent, and start treating their wives like a sister, roommate, and mother. Women actually don't change. Women respond to how their men show up. If he turns into a weak *****, she cuts her hair, gets fat, and becomes a nagging shrew that assumes the role of telling him what to do. Then being a weak *****, he allows it to continue.