Lost...

[seek&destroy]

This one might be long....

I started going to school in September (Computer and Network Engineering course), and I met this girl in class. We hit it off on a great note. Went out once with a couple of firends, had a good time, and I sort of ended up having feelings for this girl.

I countinued on as if nothing was going on. Being there for her, helping her with WHATEVER she needed. I was always there for her, no matter what.

Then the winter break came (2 weeks) and one day I got wasted, broke down and wrote her a long email spilling my guts. I wish I would have never done that...

I told her that I like her and that I would love to get to know her better, no pressure, maybe just go out or even hang out a couple of times. Several days later, she responded with this:

"That was a lot to take in all at once. I don't even really know what to say, man...
I'm incredibly flattered and it probably took a lot of guts to write that email.
With that being said, I actually started seeing someone just last week...someone who I have been friends with for a very long time and I would like to see where that goes.
I'm sorry, but I can really only see us being friends.
The last thing I wanted to do is hurt you...I truly hope we can still be friends."

At first I thought "are you fvcking kidding me?!?". After all the **** I did for her, even going out of my way to subtly hint at the fact that I want her to be more than just a friend, she tells me this. I even risked my school career for her by sending her some files I wasn't supposed to send. If I got caught...they would have kicked me out, but I did it anyway because I thought she was decent enough of a person to AT LEAST appreciate this gesture, but noooo. Nevertheless, I responded in a pleasant manner. I didn't let on to the fact that I was pissed because I knew that letting my emotions bring out the worst in me would not be good.

You should know that about 2 months prior to this, she cancelled on me when we were supposed to go out. She had told me she didn't want me to treat this as a date, and I agreed, but I knew that didn't mean that I couldn't try to work my magic on her...She had told me when she cancelled to call her and we will reschedule, which I did but she never picked up her phone. I stopped talking to her for a week straight. The next week she approached me and asked me why I never asked her to reschedule, and I told her I called her 3 times, and firgured that was enough. She seemed to get offended, and said that I should have left her a message, to which I responded with "if you really meant what you said, you would have picked up your phone." I had started seeing another girl in the meantime, thus nothing was possible between the two of us for the moment.

A couple of weeks later, I stopped seeing the other girl (she dumped me...whatever, I didn't really care for anything other than sex with her anyway, and she was great in the sack, probably the best lay I ever had, but she didn't want a relationship, and that was what I was looking for.) Anyways, I started talking to the chick in my class again, and we resumed where we had left off 2 weeks ago. Everything seemed perfect, actually even more than that. Then she got sick for a couple of weeks, and I went to visit her. After she came back to school we kept hanging out between classes, most of the time it was just the two of us (keep in mind this was long before I told her...)

So...back to the winter break now. After she responded, I sent her an email back saying that it's ok with me as long as she's ok with it, and she assured me that she was. Fast forward a couple of weeks later. I notice she is ignoring me, big time. She's colder than the iceberg that sank the Titanic, and whenever I try to talk to her, she shuts me down within 5 seconds. I confronted her about it and her response was:

"At first, I still wanted to be friends, but as time went on, I realized it wouldn't work out between us and I think it's best we go our separate ways. I don't feel like we can be friends after all this. I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. I'm just here to get my diploma and finally start living my life the way I'm meant to be living it."

...something to that effect. I don't understand...all I did was GIVE. When I did this in the past, it usually worked, and I ended up dating the girl, or at least sleeping with her, but this one was like a 15 year old Justin Bieber (homo)-obsessed slut. Anyways, on the last day of classes, she threw a party and invited everyone but me. Normally I wouldn't care, but I had told her that I didn't mean to anger her, and that I'm sorry if I had. It was hard enough, as it is, to deal with this sh!t on my own. I was fine up until the point she started ignoring me, and when I noticed that she had, I had to confront her about it beacuse it was bothering me. I hate that feeling more than anything. Feeling like you're talking to a fvcking brick wall, and all you're hearing is your own voice, no acknowledgement, no nothing. It's like I don't even exist.

Anyways...when the classes start up again next year, what do I do? Do I pretend like this never happened, or do I give her the silent treatment, the way she has done to me in the past few weeks? Fvck...why am I even asking, I already know the answer! She won't care either way, whatever I chose to do. For some fvcked up reason, I still like her, even though I'm in a relationship with another woman at the time. I can't help myself, so I need someone to help guide me in the right direction. Thanks guys, I know I can count on your advice.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Remember next time when you first start seeing a girl to be sexual. If you did this the whole thing could have been avoided. Remember its better to be rejected at first than being rejected after knowing her for a while.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Agree with PrettyBoyAJ.

You seemed to be getting mad at her for not liking you. But it's really not her fault. You didn't put yourself in the position of making her like you. You were a girlfriend and she treated you as such. I don't mean that to be harsh. I just want you to look at this logically.

I don't understand...all I did was GIVE.

Doing things for a girl does not equate to attraction. Girls don't think like "Seek&Destroy helped me with my homework. That's so hot!" Thats not how attraction works.

What do you do when you see her? Be your normal, friendly self. That doesn't mean that you be "friends" with her. It just means you don't want to come off as whiny and angry that she rebuffed you.

And P.S.

Don't approach women this way anymore. Emails professing your love for her. Helping her with homework. Getting emotional with girls who aren't emotional for you. You've been here since 2005. At some point you gotta start listening to the advice we give here.

 

[seek&destroy]

Agree with PrettyBoyAJ.

You seemed to be getting mad at her for not liking you. But it's really not her fault. You didn't put yourself in the position of making her like you. You were a girlfriend and she treated you as such. I don't mean that to be harsh. I just want you to look at this logically.



Doing things for a girl does not equate to attraction. Girls don't think like "Seek&Destroy helped me with my homework. That's so hot!" Thats not how attraction works.

What do you do when you see her? Be your normal, friendly self. That doesn't mean that you be "friends" with her. It just means you don't want to come off as whiny and angry that she rebuffed you.

And P.S.

Don't approach women this way anymore. Emails professing your love for her. Helping her with homework. Getting emotional with girls who aren't emotional for you. You've been here since 2005. At some point you gotta start listening to the advice we give here.

Thank you. That was very insightful to say the least. She was all over me in the beginning. I did some kino and negging too, and she responded very well. We even went out once...as I said earlier. Like I said...everything was perfect til that drunken moment...I will never do that again, no matter how wasted/desperate I am. She was showing me videos of her older brother (who's my age) playing guitar, and she even said I should come over and jam with him sometime. She preferred my company to other guys. There was one day when we were hanging out between classes, and she practically ignored this heavy set guy that has a crush on her. Apparently he was calling us and we didn't hear him, but she admitted to me that she had heard him but chose to ignore him because she wanted to be with me. However, now she's friends with him and hates my guts...I should have expected as much after I got all mushy.

Yeah, I understand, I need to change my ways...big time. But just how do I do that when I've been this way my whole goddamn life thus far? It's hard to even envision a change, let alone go through with it. I have tried to force myself to feel the same way about the broad I'm currently seeing, thinking that would be the only way to get over this one, but soon I realized that I would be digging myself into an even deeper hole. I'm already swimming waist deep in **** anyway, I don't need more to deal with.

I should feel happy...my school's done for the year, and I've accomlished most of what I've set out to do, except for her...but alas, life goes on...there's nothing I can do now, or ever to get back on track with her...and even if there is...I know she aint worth the trouble, but I still want her.

I have the next 4 months to do some serious soul-searching...if I am to change at all.

Thanks guys!

 

[seek&destroy]

Also the thing that gets me is that she had said that she wasn't looking for any new friends either (as well as boyfriends), and yet she had a party at her house for everyone but me, and she even made a point to talk about it right in front of me to see if it would get to me. I didn't let it show, but I was furious after I had left the classroom.

Something positive came out of this anger (and this whole fiasco). I got myself back in shape. Dropped 20lbs in past 8 months, and gained some nice muscle definition in my arms, and especially midesction (no more beer gut!). I'm very proud of that, but at the same time I have to acknowledge the fact that anger helped get me there. My biceps grew by a couple of inches (11 at start, 13.5 now), waist size went down from 36 to 34, so all my pants no longer fit me. I have a lot more stamina (my lady friend loves it too ), and I'm thinking about signing up for soccer on the weekends (Men's League, since I'm 23, house league/rep rules no longer apply). I'm also starting an internship in a few days...so I have a lot of great things going for me right now, yet I feel down.

I just bought a Bowflex Home Gym system because I don't want to become lazy again. I will try to distract myself with that this summer. By September, I WILL be a new man. The only hard part will be changing the way I think...

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Your issue is common, simple and takes a lot of work to fix.

You have no clue how attraction works.

Attraction is an emotional rush filled with a roller coaster of feelings you give a girl when she's around you.

Its definitely NOT helping your cause to constantly supplicate to women and expect them to like you.

As Mantis said you didn't play the role of the man, you were her emotional tampon.

Girls will often develop resentment for these types of guys because they feel like the guy was only putting on an act by being friendly for all the time prior to revealing their feelings.

And thats another thing; If you ever feel like you need to confess your feelings thru a letter, in person etc that should let you know that you have done everything wrong leading up to that point.

Read the Bible, ask questions, learn and improve.

The gym is a great pace to start.


EDIT: GOTTA SPREAD THE REP POINTS MANTIS SORRY BRO, GREAT POST

PIMP

 

[seek&destroy]

Your issue is common, simple and takes a lot of work to fix.

You have no clue how attraction works.

Attraction is an emotional rush filled with a roller coaster of feelings you give a girl when she's around you.

Its definitely NOT helping your cause to constantly supplicate to women and expect them to like you.

As Mantis said you didn't play the role of the man, you were her emotional tampon.

Girls will often develop resentment for these types of guys because they feel like the guy was only putting on an act by being friendly for all the time prior to revealing their feelings.

And thats another thing; If you ever feel like you need to confess your feelings thru a letter, in person etc that should let you know that you have done everything wrong leading up to that point.

Read the Bible, ask questions, learn and improve.

The gym is a great pace to start.


EDIT: GOTTA SPREAD THE REP POINTS MANTIS SORRY BRO, GREAT POST

PIMP

OK, I see your logic bro. I should have never told her how I felt, because everything was fine up until I did that. Whatever, all I can do now is chalk this up to a learning experience.

But out of curiosity...is there any chance of me EVER coming out of friend zone with her? I certainly don't think so, but if there is a way, I'd sure like to know...just in case I get friend zoned by another in the future. Lets face it, provided that I don't fvck up like I did with this one, I should be able to reverse it.

Thanks!

 

[seek&destroy]

Your issue is common, simple and takes a lot of work to fix.

You have no clue how attraction works.

Attraction is an emotional rush filled with a roller coaster of feelings you give a girl when she's around you.

Its definitely NOT helping your cause to constantly supplicate to women and expect them to like you.

As Mantis said you didn't play the role of the man, you were her emotional tampon.

Girls will often develop resentment for these types of guys because they feel like the guy was only putting on an act by being friendly for all the time prior to revealing their feelings.

And thats another thing; If you ever feel like you need to confess your feelings thru a letter, in person etc that should let you know that you have done everything wrong leading up to that point.

Read the Bible, ask questions, learn and improve.

The gym is a great pace to start.


EDIT: GOTTA SPREAD THE REP POINTS MANTIS SORRY BRO, GREAT POST

PIMP

OK, I see your logic bro. I should have never told her how I felt, because everything was fine up until I did that. Whatever, all I can do now is chalk this up to a learning experience.

But out of curiosity...is there any chance of me EVER coming out of friend zone with her? I certainly don't think so, but if there is a way, I'd sure like to know...just in case I get friend zoned by another in the future. Lets face it, provided that I don't fvck up like I did with this one, I should be able to reverse it.

Thanks!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Dude, Accept your loss and move on. Your putting this girl on a pedestal. It should be this girl is messed up for not wanting me. Not "is there anyway I can take her out the friend zone". Fu*ck her..... A girl who is just a friend is useless. Go out and meet girls who will love you.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

OK, I see your logic bro. I should have never told her how I felt, because everything was fine up until I did that. Whatever, all I can do now is chalk this up to a learning experience.

Everything wasn't fine b4 you revealed your feelings. You were setting yourself up to be put in the friend-zone. So whether you revealed your feelings to her or not, you would have landed there eventually. Perhaps u mean things were less awkward between you two since u didnt profess your inner feelings to her, but it was still headed down the wrong path. If u fix one thing, learn how attraction works so u don't need to reveal your feelings. Guys who reveal their feelings are usually running on emotion rather than logic. In their confused state they forgot the most basic rule of attraction; show her, dont tell her.

But out of curiosity...is there any chance of me EVER coming out of friend zone with her? I certainly don't think so, but if there is a way, I'd sure like to know...just in case I get friend zoned by another in the future. Lets face it, provided that I don't fvck up like I did with this one, I should be able to reverse it.

Wouldnt say there's absolutely no chance, but the only way this will happen is if u cut off communication with her for a long time. Im talking a couple years at least and then run into her again; basically starting new. The time away allows u to have a clean slate, but surprisingly u might not even be interested anymore. Much easier to start over with new girls.

ATTRACTION 101

RAPPORT + COMFORT + CONFIDENCE MIXED WITH SOME LIGHT SEXUAL TEASING = GIRL'S PANTIES WET





PIMP

 

[Rikudo]

At the first time you talked with her you ended in the freind zone you where the nice guy trying to do everything she says to you you where her emotional tampon this and the thing about talking to a wall this used to happen to me to it was so dumb so what should you do as some her sayed you should stay yourself say hello or things like this is she confronts you about this you can say i am not mad at you and leave .I hope this helps .

 

[seek&destroy]

I forgot to mention that the last time we talked I told her exactly what I thought about the way she was treating me. I told her I don't like being ignored and I'd like it if she could just move past this, but she says that she can't do that knowing that I like(d) her. Whatever, it's her loss. Someone like me only comes around once in a lifetime, and there are plenty of other broads who would be happy to be with me, but for some messed up reason, for the last little while, I have only wanted her.

I called her childish for ignoring me, and she told me I was being childish for ever going there (mentioning that). She doesn't feel as if she did anything wrong, and she said she doesnt give a damn about what I think of her. I can hate her if I want, it still won't matter to her (that's what she said.)

Now, that was harsh...I don't understand why she thinks she didn't lead me on when she clearly did. You don't tell someone that you're interested in going out with them, bail on them several days later, and never reschedule, and then still claim that you didn't lead them on. She implicitly told me she IS interested in going out, but then she cancelled and never rescheduled.

She was all over me in the beginning...always hanging out with me instead of anyone else, ignored other guys who were trying to chase her...and once I told her I was one of them too she dropped me like a hot piece of sh!t.

It doesn't matter, it's over now. I'm just trying to understand why she acted this way...I know most women can't make up their minds, but this one went faaaaar beyond that.

 

[Igetit!]

Dude,let me ask you a question.....

Are you a teenager? Are you new to the whole dating scene or something?

You must be new. Mantis Toboggan was right on the money about you....you soooo don't get how attraction works for women. You tried to get this girl's interest through DEBT.


You thought if you did a bunch of nice things for her,were there for her,and waited on her hand and foot,that that would somehow make her sexually attracted to you.



That's not how it works dude. Women want a MAN,not a slave. They want a MAN,not a butler.

I forgot to mention that the last time we talked I told her exactly what I thought about the way she was treating me. I told her I don't like being ignored

Well I don't know what you were upset at her for,it was YOUR FAULT. She treated you accordingly. You acted like hired help,so she treated you like hired help.



You said that in the beginning,things were cool between you two,then all of the sudden,she changed. You have any idea why? She changed because YOU CHANGED. Everything was fine until YOU STARTED putting her on a pedistal,running her errands,listening to her problems,and "being there" for her.



When you stopped acting like a man with her and went to being her SERVANT,that's when her behavior towards you shifted.



YOU created this mess. All she did was reciprocate.

I called her childish for ignoring me, and she told me I was being childish for ever going there (mentioning that). She doesn't feel as if she did anything wrong, and she said she doesnt give a damn about what I think of her. I can hate her if I want, it still won't matter to her (that's what she said.)

Now, that was harsh...

What she said was harsh,but that's how women are to men they FEEL are beneath them. That's just how it is. YOU ARE THE ONE who created this feeling in her. Look at this....

We hit it off on a great note. Went out once with a couple of firends, had a good time,

So you hit it off well. everything was cool and fine. Notice something here...everything was going well BEFORE you started "being there for her" and "helping her with whatever she needed".


She liked you + ZERO. But then.....

I countinued on as if nothing was going on. Being there for her, helping her with WHATEVER she needed. I was always there for her, no matter what....

Then the winter break came (2 weeks) and one day I got wasted, broke down and wrote her a long email spilling my guts. I wish I would have never done that...

So AFTER things were cool and going well,AFTER things were ok,you started being around her helping her with everything and wrote her a letter "spilling your guts" to her. Then that's when everything seemed to go downhill.


Even you yourself said that you wish you had never wrote her that note. So even you saw a corilation between that letter and the downturn in her behavior.


If a man fails to be a man,how is that the girl's fault? And the emotions she gets as a result of that failure is just what she gets.


If you go outside when it's 10 degrees,SURPRISE!!!!!,you're going to FEEL cold. If you see a woman who's old,fat,bald,and has missing teeth,SHOCKER!!!!,you're going to feel repulsed.


Well when you started waiting on this girl hand and foot,spilling your guts out to her,complaining about her ignoring you,and on and on and on,YOU CREATED this b!tchy attitude in her. That's just how it is.


You really need to learn from this,because it you don't,you're in for a long,looong road of UNNECCESARY heartache and dissappointment.

 

[seek&destroy]

Dude,let me ask you a question.....

Are you a teenager? Are you new to the whole dating scene or something?

You must be new. Mantis Toboggan was right on the money about you....you soooo don't get how attraction works for women. You tried to get this girl's interest through DEBT.


You thought if you did a bunch of nice things for her,were there for her,and waited on her hand and foot,that that would somehow make her sexually attracted to you.



That's not how it works dude. Women want a MAN,not a slave. They want a MAN,not a butler.






Well I don't know what you were upset at her for,it was YOUR FAULT. She treated you accordingly. You acted like hired help,so she treated you like hired help.



You said that in the beginning,things were cool between you two,then all of the sudden,she changed. You have any idea why? She changed because YOU CHANGED. Everything was fine until YOU STARTED putting her on a pedistal,running her errands,listening to her problems,and "being there" for her.



When you stopped acting like a man with her and went to being her SERVANT,that's when her behavior towards you shifted.



YOU created this mess. All she did was reciprocate.





What she said was harsh,but that's how women are to men they FEEL are beneath them. That's just how it is. YOU ARE THE ONE who created this feeling in her. Look at this....




So you hit it off well. everything was cool and fine. Notice something here...everything was going well BEFORE you started "being there for her" and "helping her with whatever she needed".


She liked you + ZERO. But then.....






So AFTER things were cool and going well,AFTER things were ok,you started being around her helping her with everything and wrote her a letter "spilling your guts" to her. Then that's when everything seemed to go downhill.


Even you yourself said that you wish you had never wrote her that note. So even you saw a corilation between that letter and the downturn in her behavior.


If a man fails to be a man,how is that the girl's fault? And the emotions she gets as a result of that failure is just what she gets.


If you go outside when it's 10 degrees,SURPRISE!!!!!,you're going to FEEL cold. If you see a woman who's old,fat,bald,and has missing teeth,SHOCKER!!!!,you're going to feel repulsed.


Well when you started waiting on this girl hand and foot,spilling your guts out to her,complaining about her ignoring you,and on and on and on,YOU CREATED this b!tchy attitude in her. That's just how it is.


You really need to learn from this,because it you don't,you're in for a long,looong road of UNNECCESARY heartache and dissappointment.

Great point man, this is what I needed to hear/read. I'm strating to see exactly where I fvcked up so badly. I understand why she was all over me in the beginning now...it's because I acted like I didn't give a fvck. I could care less whether she'd hang with me or the fat dude. But once she started spending time with me (one on one) and once I started getting to know her better I just lost it.

I can see the patterns now...act like a man, and you will be treated as such; act like a pvssy (like I did), spilling your guts and thinking there's something there when there's nothing...and you'll be ignored and shown no respect by the one you want.

I had to LEARN the hard way on this one, and now that I get where I fvcked up, I can properly move on. On that note, I suppose it's safe to say that my chances with this one are way below 0% right now...in other words, it'll happen when hell freezes over, AND when pigs fly (yes, both at the same time), which is never.

Is there any way I could change the way she sees me? Any way I could change her opinion? I hate being thought of as a doormat (even though that's all I've been my whole entire life). If I was to try and DHV to her (or over the break when I'm not around her...indirectly through social networking) how would I go about it? I know I'm going to change, I just want everyone else to see that I'm not who I used to be as well, and I guess that includes her as well.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Is there any way I could change the way she sees me? Any way I could change her opinion? I hate being thought of as a doormat (even though that's all I've been my whole entire life). If I was to try and DHV to her (or over the break when I'm not around her...indirectly through social networking) how would I go about it? I know I'm going to change, I just want everyone else to see that I'm not who I used to be as well, and I guess that includes her as well.

You'll change the way she sees you when you stop caring about changing the way she sees you.

It seems like this girl laid it on the line for you. She put it out there: she doesn't want you.

It doesn't matter that she might have liked you in the beginning. Things change. I like a girl I met last week. I dont like her anymore. That's how it goes.

You want to "get her back" (you never had her), but you can by dating other women, moving on with your life, and one day she'll see that you're dating new girls, you're in shape, and you have better things to do than serve her...THEN she'll say, "This isn't the Seek&Destroy I remember"...and MAYBE she'll be a little curious. But if you're bold enough to reach this point, you'll be too busy to care anyway

EDIT:

Another point I want to address.... You are NOT a changed man yet. So first, become a changed man. THEN go worry about showing the world. You're more worried about proving to this girl that you've changed than you are about actually changing. That's not a good place to start.

Improve yourself and people will have no choice but to notice.

 

[Johnnyventana]

I would say that since it will have been 4 months (when you see her again), do not ignore her. That is ghey. It says, "Im not over you. You own me." No, be indifferent. That is, be nice, keep it short, and move on. You said ignoring her wouldn't affect her - that is not true. It tells her you still like her, and she secretly likes that. But if you are indifferent? Yes, than yes, you will affect her. All the while smiling to yourself and moving on.

 

[seek&destroy]

EDIT:

Another point I want to address.... You are NOT a changed man yet. So first, become a changed man. THEN go worry about showing the world. You're more worried about proving to this girl that you've changed than you are about actually changing. That's not a good place to start.

Improve yourself and people will have no choice but to notice.

I never said I was changed bro. It's waaaaay too early to jump to meaningless conclusions right now. Physically, yes I have changed since September, but I'm still undergoing a shift in thinking, an evolution if you will. And you're right...I'm way too worried about changing the way she sees me. I simply have to get rid of that desperation factor. This board is wicked, whole wealth of information (even though I've been on these boards since '05, I've found it hard to believe most of these things...until now).
Started reading the DJ Bible, and gotta say...I'm very imprssed so far. The way I see things right now is starting to change (albeit slowly atm). I'm starting to realize that I did exactly the same thing Steve Carell did in The 40 Year Old Virgin (put the pvssy on a pedestal)...except this aint no movie, and I won't get the girl I want in the end.

 

[seek&destroy]

I would say that since it will have been 4 months (when you see her again), do not ignore her. That is ghey. It says, "Im not over you. You own me." No, be indifferent. That is, be nice, keep it short, and move on. You said ignoring her wouldn't affect her - that is not true. It tells her you still like her, and she secretly likes that. But if you are indifferent? Yes, than yes, you will affect her. All the while smiling to yourself and moving on.

Yes...I've read it on the boards here before, but indifference is the best form of DHV there is. Just don't let anything faze you!

Thanks bro, I appreciate your advice. Will act as if NOTHING happened between us when I see her again. I'll act as if I have just met her at that moment (of course, for the second time).

BTW...The DJ Bible is the SH!T: http://www.sosuave.com/ubb/Forum6/HTML/000371.html (Be A Man! - Pook)

 

[dementia]

Yea this post was pretty bad man. You gave and gave and you tried to live up to HER standards... instead of, well, the total opposite. If you like a girl dont give her anything or do anything.. You build attraction (i feel like you need to read about that cos you are missing alot judging from the first email)... You are trying to please her when you should be treating her like your kid sister.

This reminds me of something i read, i thnk from Pook.. "The way you acted to get the girl is the same way you act to keep her".... STOP the favours. Its the C+F, kino, give HER compliance, give HEr hoops to jump through, be sexual.. This is how it goes. It aint the movies.

The positive thing about all this though is next time she sees you you will LOOK different, you will look ripped etc and you have ur **** together. Peacock a bit more in school and totally ignore her until she initiates contact. THEN start again, dont talk about the past, dont explain to her WHY you acted the way you did.. Be a totally different person... give her nothing! Its going to be tough man, because her IL has already dropped big time. Its just that you are forced to see her in school? things might work out... ALWAYS be light and humorous in talking from here on out STOP GIVING stuff and getting deep.. its boring and girls HATE it.. she has to earn even knowing about you. The only time id do something illegal for agirl is if she was giving me sex with 3 of her friends in a bath tub full of $100's ... not a thing less.. make her work for you.. Read that bible and anything else you can get your hands on. Ignore her in the interim or if u are always seeing eachother as someone said, be indifferent. keep it all LIGHT and FUN.... everything else is only going to come into play IF she gets curious about you again..... then you doubley cant mess up...

 

[seek&destroy]

Yea this post was pretty bad man. You gave and gave and you tried to live up to HER standards... instead of, well, the total opposite. If you like a girl dont give her anything or do anything.. You build attraction (i feel like you need to read about that cos you are missing alot judging from the first email)... You are trying to please her when you should be treating her like your kid sister.

This reminds me of something i read, i thnk from Pook.. "The way you acted to get the girl is the same way you act to keep her".... STOP the favours. Its the C+F, kino, give HER compliance, give HEr hoops to jump through, be sexual.. This is how it goes. It aint the movies.

The positive thing about all this though is next time she sees you you will LOOK different, you will look ripped etc and you have ur **** together. Peacock a bit more in school and totally ignore her until she initiates contact. THEN start again, dont talk about the past, dont explain to her WHY you acted the way you did.. Be a totally different person... give her nothing! Its going to be tough man, because her IL has already dropped big time. Its just that you are forced to see her in school? things might work out... ALWAYS be light and humorous in talking from here on out STOP GIVING stuff and getting deep.. its boring and girls HATE it.. she has to earn even knowing about you. The only time id do something illegal for agirl is if she was giving me sex with 3 of her friends in a bath tub full of $100's ... not a thing less.. make her work for you.. Read that bible and anything else you can get your hands on. Ignore her in the interim or if u are always seeing eachother as someone said, be indifferent. keep it all LIGHT and FUN.... everything else is only going to come into play IF she gets curious about you again..... then you doubley cant mess up...

Amen!
Yeah I already am starting to develop a toned midesction, and bowflex will undoubtedly help!
I'm starting to feel better about myself, especially after figuring out exactly where I went wrong. Things are finally 'looking up' for me. You are right guys, it's her loss for not wanting to be with someone as amazing as me. She won't find anyone who would treat her better than I would have (before), but even if she does come around and wants me again, I won't give her an inch of slack. I'm not going to be all gooey over her, she does not deserve that, and now I know that was EXACTLY what turned her off in the first place.
No challenge, I gave it all to her way too easily. Indifference is the key here. If I would have just kept going the way I did when I first met her (neg, kino, and qulifying her cosntantly) things would have been fine, and I would have at least have fvcked her by now.
An example of what I mean by the sh1t I did early:

One time she practically begged me to go to the movies with her and the fat guy in our class cause she did not want to be alone with him. I told her "I don't know you well enough to cancel my Friday night plans for you just yet." Her IL spiked right after I said that and she asked me out for the following Tuesday, only to cancel on me at the VERY last minute...we hung out after the lecture, she had a job to go to and I told her I'd come and pick her up and we'd go to the movies from there, but literally 40 minutes later (not even...happened while I was working out), she sent me 8 txt messages begging me to forgive her for having to cancel. She said she just got another job interview for that afternoon, and I understood. She said it's better off this way, because if she gets that job, she will have the money to go out to movies several times, or at least more often than once (this is exactly what she said in her txt). I told her we would resched when she has some time, but she never got back to me on that note.
The next night we went out, and we had a good time. She told me and my friend that we "should feel special" because she usally doesn't go out to a pub with 2 guys (and a girl) she barely knows/has just met. She was trying to qualify me there, and I realize that now. I asked her out to the movies at the end of the night, but she said she'll get back to me on that...once again, never did. She was hospitalized with a serious condition a couple of weeks later, and I went to visit her twice, even though it was way out of my way, and it cost me $40 in gas money to get there and back home, but I didn't care beacuse I wanted to be there for her. I didn't expect anything back due to this, only respect and a new 'friend', which I had up until the point I decided to spill my guts to her. And even after all that, she still ignores me just because I had a crush on her. She's acting like I murdered someone close to her, like I committed a crime...this is like High School all over again. I shouldn't be encountering these situations any longer, but I still am...weird.