just how scared are women to be single?

[joekerr31]

question for us to discuss.

just how scared are women to be single?
and what is their cognitive state when they are single?

typically i enjoy being single. no hassles. no one bothering me. free to focus on things i like etc.

but every now and then, like today, ill get a sense of loneliness and think 'man it would be nice to be coming home to someone right now." but it will pass tomorrow and ill be fine.

but im just wondering, is this how women feel ALL the time when they are single? for women does single = depressed?

 

[Live-n-learn]

Varies very widely. Generally, it doesn't appear (although they could just be hiding it) females in their youth and teens and early 20's are scared to be single.

Whereas, once they hit their mid 20's, about the time they start to hear about friends and acquaitances getting married, they'll start to get scared about being alone for the rest of their lives if they're still single. This is because time on their biological clocks are ticking down quick. Women depend highly on their appearances (that's why they cake on their make up in preparation for the day!), so if they reach a certain later age and still haven't "secured a guy", they think others will question what is wrong with her. Who knows, maybe she desires being "independent" and "doesn't have time for a serious relationship".

Also, the typical woman probably does not lead an interesting life so having someone to keep her company helps alleviate the boredom/void of meaning. Heck, that probably applies to guys as well.

 

[Bad_Lil'Pixie]

Recently, at work, we've hired on 12 new ladies, (22 - 27 years old). In chatting with them and getting to know them I see their interest being in travel, hobbies, friends, family and more self centered activities.

A few speak of boyfriends but still seem to focus more on independent activities or time with friends.

They too may feel a want from time to time to have more in a relationship, but their actions don't reflect an obsession or depression that I can see.

I have seen those who are so obsessed with the desire for marriage that it rules them. They do and say things for the sole purpose of attracting a man. Sometimes this obsession has lead to bad decisions and ultimately bad endings.

I think you will find a wide variety and many extremes as the thread progresses. It will be interesting.

 

[STR8UP]

Some women MUST have a boyfriend or husband at all times. These are vine swinging monkeys.

The rest of them have to have at least one guy around at all times validating their existence.

This is the majority of women. They would be happier if they had someone to put a label on, but in lieu of a boyfriend they are willing to accept as a substitute, attention from one or more men who they either

A) Wouldn't date

or

B) Won't date them but will FUKK them

I don't think I have ever met a woman who can be completely by herself and be happy.

Maybe that's part of the reason why women are so intrigued by men who are happy even when they are alone.

 

[edger]

Some women MUST have a boyfriend or husband at all times. These are vine swinging monkeys.

The rest of them have to have at least one guy around at all times validating their existence.

This is the majority of women. They would be happier if they had someone to put a label on, but in lieu of a boyfriend they are willing to accept as a substitute, attention from one or more men who they either

A) Wouldn't date

or

B) Won't date them but will FUKK them

I don't think I have ever met a woman who can be completely by herself and be happy.

Maybe that's part of the reason why women are so intrigued by men who are happy even when they are alone.

I'll definitely second that. Women ALWAYS have a guy around whether he's a boyfriend, husband, or f*ck buddy...though this only holds true for average to hot looking women. The same applies to ALPHA males as well; the ALPHA male will always have a woman around.

I believe women, just like men, fear and dread loneliness. Truth be told, it's a woman's and ALPHA males world.

 

[edger]

Personally, for me, I'm fine with just a HOT f*ck buddy, or f*cking a different HOT(her being hot is a big thing with me, can't f*ck 'em if they're not)chick every week..I can more or less do without the relationship. As long as I'm being sexually gratified, that's all I can care about.

 

[Last Man Standing]

It is not natural for the male or female to be alone - we are complementary natures and need one another; however; men's genetic natures are designed as such that they have the mental state to live in solitude moreso than the female - men dominate the fields of engineering and scientific areas because our natures are made for studies of isolation and single-mindedness!

The female is dependent on the male and the male is NOT dependent on the female for survival!!!

 

[DJDamage]

Women worry about the future until they get married.

Men worry about the future after they get married.

 

[Wyldfire]

Some women (and some men) can't stand to be single...and those people usually have low self-esteems and will be with someone of very low quality just for the sake of being with someone. Healthy people (both men and women) might like being in a good relationship but don't "need" to be in one...and they are far more likely to only get involved with people they can actually have a decent relationship with. Then there are some who are just so miserable and bitter (both men and women) that they hate the opposite sex and embrace the hatred and anger to have an outlet for their passion.

Something about marriage that I don't ever recall seeing discussed here that I'm going to point out to inspire thinking outside the usual box here...

The only people who really need marriage anymore are men who want to raise their own children and have a family. "Shacking Up" is accepted in society and being a single mother is normal today. Women are able to support themselves and their children without a husband. If a woman wants children badly enough she can easily get a sperm donor if she can afford it and if she can't it's not difficult for a woman to go out and get pregnant. Yes, doing that is pretty rotten...but if a woman is desperate for a child, finding a man to provide the sperm wouldn't be that difficult. Women really don't get anything out of marriage that they can't get without marriage. Men who want to have children and live with and raise those children are really the only group that marriage truly benefits anymore.

This is not my personal view about how things should be with marriage...just an observation of what the reality of the situation is after really thinking about it.

 

[joekerr31]

good response wyld.

the only thing i disagree with is the sperm thing.

i couldn't raise a child on my own. no way i could do my job and look after kids all on my own.

id have to take them to the zoo in the morning and have the baboons baby sit them or something.

or i suppose i could just keep them in the zoo at all times. in exchange for free lodging the zoo could put them on exhibit or something.

otherwise id go crazy trying to raise kids on my own.

 

[DJDamage]

i couldn't raise a child on my own. no way i could do my job and look after kids all on my own.

You could do what every American women does this days and that is hire a full time -living in illegal mexican nanny.

When I look at today's marriage and what it was in the 50's it seem that it ain't much of a benefit to a man, like it was back then. A man in the 50's went to work while the woman stayed home, cooked, cleaned and took care of the kids BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT A MAN WANTED AND IT IS STILL TODAY WHAT A MAN WANTS FROM HIS WIFE. However today you are lucky to meet a woman whom will stay home, knows how to cook or clean and actually want to spend time to raise the kids. No Today the job title "wife" traditional meaning does not exist anymore. Today man after coming home from work, has to take turns cleaning and cooking and taking care of the kids and the wife has headaches and he barley gets sex as much as he wants. Plus if things go bad in the marriage it is much harder and alot more complicated to leave. So as you can see there are reasons why men shy away from marriage because it doesn't benefit them as it used too.

 

[joekerr31]

ya, but on the flip side, men in the old days were incompetent at a lot of stuff.
they had no clue how to use the dishwasher or iron their pants etc. I think there were just as many AFCs around back in the day, except that women didn't abuse them as much as they do today.

see people keep saying that women dont need men. but i think today, its actually men who don't need women as much.

there is literally nothing i need a woman to do for me. i dont want a woman to even cook my supper - im generally a better cook!

i mean, what do i, as a man, need a woman for today?

outside of sex and companionship i can't think of anything.

when i was younger a woman was helpful in calming me down when i got pissed off over something in life - but now that im in my 30s i dont need a woman for that either.

 

[STR8UP]

You're right, joekerr.

What do we really need women for anyway?

I'm sure that's a big part of the reason why there are women everywhere I turn nowadays. I DON'T NEED THEM, and they know it. I have what they want, not the other way around.

Sex is pretty easy to come by lately, I just don't end up fukking everything in sight cause it always has a price that most of the time I'm not willing to pay. I find a situation where I perceive the benefit to outweigh the cost, I go for it. Otherwise I walk away.

I don't want kids at this stage in my life, so why do I need a woman? That's really the only thing a woman can provide for me that I can't get on my own. Companionship? Yea, that's nice, but again, what's the price?

 

[KneghtRyder]

i don't konw if they are so 'clingy' as you make them out to be..friends are friends for them

 

[synergy1]

It is not natural for the male or female to be alone - we are complementary natures and need one another; however; men's genetic natures are designed as such that they have the mental state to live in solitude moreso than the female - men dominate the fields of engineering and scientific areas because our natures are made for studies of isolation and single-mindedness!

The female is dependent on the male and the male is NOT dependent on the female for survival!!!

where the hell do you people come up with this bull****. Engineering is HARDLY a field of isolation; quite the contrary as it requires being a part of a group more so than any other field. You won't find a group of closer knit kids than engineering undergraduate classes, since they all had to rely on each other to pass. I'll be the first to admit some of these guys in engineering have 0 social abilities. The normal ones are out there playing the field just like you.

these kind of generalizations just fill unknowing people with bad knowledge. I can only hope people don't pay attention to advice like this.

 

[Wyldfire]

You could do what every American women does this days and that is hire a full time -living in illegal mexican nanny.

Very few single mothers have a nanny. In fact...none of my 4 children were ever placed in daycare. Right before kindergarten I put them in preschool for a couple of hours a day two or three times a week to make sure they were prepared for school. I always taught them as much as I could at home and made sure they were socialized to get along well with other children. My Mom would live with me and I worked 3rd shift jobs once the kids were all in school. I had a couple of years where I was putting electronic piece work and making jewelry at home and babysitting other children to make money so I didn't have to use daycare.

Being a single parent requires being very creative, but it can be done without using daycare.

 

[Wyldfire]

good response wyld.

the only thing i disagree with is the sperm thing.

i couldn't raise a child on my own. no way i could do my job and look after kids all on my own.

id have to take them to the zoo in the morning and have the baboons baby sit them or something.

or i suppose i could just keep them in the zoo at all times. in exchange for free lodging the zoo could put them on exhibit or something.

otherwise id go crazy trying to raise kids on my own.

What I meant by a woman going out and getting a guy to provide sperm is not a woman asking him to purposely get her pregnant. I meant that if a woman is desperate for a child and either has not found or does not want a husband she can just go be a slvt during her ovulation and get pregnant. That would be a rotten thing to do, no doubt...but if a woman wants a baby badly enough she could do that as a last resort. Men don't have that option in order to be a father and really be able to raise his child.

 

[ElChoclo]

Well a good test is have a look around some eatery say in the evening. At this place where I go you frequently see men eating alone, maybe reading a book, whatever. You don't see the same number of women eating alone, in fact, maybe none. They don't like to eat alone. A lot don't like to go out anywhere alone, as in night time entertainment.

So, they have a natural tendency to abhor singleness.

 

[MatureDJ]

What I meant by a woman going out and getting a guy to provide sperm is not a woman asking him to purposely get her pregnant. I meant that if a woman is desperate for a child and either has not found or does not want a husband she can just go be a slvt during her ovulation and get pregnant. That would be a rotten thing to do, no doubt...but if a woman wants a baby badly enough she could do that as a last resort. Men don't have that option in order to be a father and really be able to raise his child.

Wyldfire, I knew this guy that had this chunky chick as a fvck buddy. He would hit it rather often, and one time she had an "accident". This guy offered to move in with her (but still be able to chase women on the side), but she said no deal on that. He ended up living with her and staying exclusive. She then had another "accident". He figured that he was in so deep, that he just made it official and married her.

 

[Wyldfire]

Wyldfire, I knew this guy that had this chunky chick as a fvck buddy. He would hit it rather often, and one time she had an "accident". This guy offered to move in with her (but still be able to chase women on the side), but she said no deal on that. He ended up living with her and staying exclusive. She then had another "accident". He figured that he was in so deep, that he just made it official and married her.

While I agree that SOME women intentionally get pregnant...you can't absolve the guy from responsibility. Read your post again. You are placing all the responsibility for the pregnancy on the woman. Men understand how women become pregnant and they are well aware of how to do everything they can to prevent that from happening. "She" didn't have an accident..."They" had an accident. Much can be said for personal accountability and self-responsibility, and it's something that simply isn't seen on this site nearly enough. While it's unfortunate that this guy found himself feeling "trapped", his choices led him straight into that situation. Let it be a lesson to you that you should never have sex without using a condom unless you are married and want children. Men can't assume that a woman is using birth control or is properly using it if she is on the pill. He can't place the full burden of birth control onto the woman. Each person who is sexually active MUST take responsibility for their own birth control...absolutely NO exceptions...period.