It's almost a lost cause trying to help the younger generation

[STR8UP]

Here's a bulletin re-posted on Myspace by an employee of mine. The title of the bulletin is "I'd do this for my girl":

• give her your hoody even if you go to different schools.
• leave her cute text messages.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• just walk around with her.
• forgive her for her mistakes.
• look at her like she's the only girl you see.
• tickle her even when she says stop.
• hold her hand when you're around your friends and in private.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her. [this makes me angry when guys do this.]
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she's sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead. [love this.]
• don't talk about other girls around her. If you love her, others shouldn't matter.
• when she's sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she's important.
• kiss her in the pouring rain. [romantic to me]
• when you fall in love with her, tell her.
• and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.
• never disrespect her by being perverted, respect her body and her.
• when she blushes, smile and kiss her.
• whenever things are quiet turn to her and hug her tightly

Man, I try to help this guy out. The other day he left a flower on a girls car, then asked her out (she said yes) and he believes he has a shot with her. I tried to tell him that he's already in the friend zone, but he won't listen.

Granted, this guy is about 350 lbs. But that's no excuse to be an AFC.

The guy LISTENS to me, even agrees with most of what I am saying, yet he continues to follow the path of doom when it comes to women.

I guess I can't change the world. Besides, the chick he asked out works next door, and she's cute. I'm sure he won't mind me picking up the pieces when he crashes and burns

 

[grinder]

The huge preponderance of AFC’s is no more readily demonstrated than reading the comments, bulletins, and blogs of guys like your sad friend here.

You will see a few that are getting it but not many.

I have actually helped one friend by re-writing some of his comments but because he lacked the mindset, framework, and belief set that goes with being a DJ he dumbly saw my re-write as making a joke. The whole attitude was lost on him.

They don’t get that once you have a nice assortment of hotties as friends on MySpace these survey/bulletins are a fantastic way to set yourself apart from the knuckle-draggers.

C/F here is great practice and goddammit if it does not prove its weight in gold.

As far as saving our AFC friends I am on no crusade to change the world. I think the best we can do is lead by example. That way the motivation to change, if they choose, is purely internal on their part.

 

[KontrollerX]

"The guy LISTENS to me, even agrees with most of what I am saying, yet he continues to follow the path of doom when it comes to women."

He's just been patronizing you thus far.

Rollo talked about a guy like this he worked with once where the guy would listen to everything Rollo said and nod his head in agreement yet he didn't really believe Rollo's advice until his AFC bullsh*t got him burned badly.

Then the next time around when a similar situation arose for the guy with some chick that disrespected him and went off and screwed someone else the guy followed Rollo's advice which was not to return her calls or accept her pleadings for a friendship and this drove the chick nuts and she pulled all the tricks she could to get this guy back in her life but he wouldn't budge.

The guy got a satisfied feeling out of that and has probably been a DJ ever since.

Sometimes you have to be burned to burn away the AFC within you before you can change.

Unless this guy is an extra specially dim bulb once he gets burned for his AFC mindset (which he will be) he will remember all that you've told him and apply it accordingly.

So don't give up on trying to teach guys the DJ way wherever possible Str8up.

As though the advice may not take effect right away it very well can in time.

Like one of those time released capsules lol.

 

[Eddie417]

I blame this on the boy bands. They play all this sappy, whiny music and fill their videos with hot chicks. Young men make the wrong connection.

Just watch the news these days. When 16 year old boys start accusing their hot 23 year old female French teachers of molesting them, the world is truly a messed up place. If my son told me he banged his teacher, I'd be hi-fiving him, not calling the cops.

But hey, I'm just old fashioned that way.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Unplugging chumps from the Matrix is dirty, thankless work. Over the years I've come to see the process as a sort of triage. Save who you can and read last rites for the dying.

You can't teach those unwilling to learn. Questions aren't scary, it's people who don't have any that are scary. The guy KONTROLLERX mentioned is one success story out of many tragedies I've tried to help avert. There is also another member of SS here, BLACKWIDOW, who is another success story (yes, she's female) who managed to see the Matrix and unplug. But these are notable exceptions to the utter wreckage I've been witness to. At any one time I've got half a dozen guys (and women) asking me for advice only to have them ignore it and do what their inner AFC insecurities prompt them to. Recently I had to lay off a guy on my staff due to budget restraints and the guy was personable, good looking, talented, a D.J. (the kind that spins at clubs), but resisted everything I advised him about unplugging and killing his inner AFC. He met his current GF online, she's fat, she scolds him, she's obsessively possessive about him (as fat chicks are wont to do), they moved in together, bought an expensive little dog, he's tried to get her to hit the gym with him, she freaks out, all the standard AFC LTR protocol you can imagine that's become a cliche here he's wrapped up in. And now he wont come back to me for fear of my being judgemental of him. I can't help him unless he seeks it out. This guy is just one of at least 6 guys I know personally with ego-investments in their AFC beliefs and each one is living in a similar enslavement.

I was best-man at my best friend's wedding about this time last year. He was a consumate natural DJ - moreso than I ever was in my 20s - he's traveled the world, laid more women than most men have a right to, had more life experience than any man I know. After putting off marriage his whole life, he married a gorgeous 25 y.o. woman at 38. On the day I was flying back to Florida he woke me up early and we sat on a bench overlooking the surf in Santa Cruz eating breakfast burritos. He looks at me and says, "how do I do this? how do I keep my marriage together?" And I tell him "keep your identity. don't allow yourself to become who you think your wife expects you to be. this is the surest way to destroy your marriage."

He and the wife will be staying with me after Christmas for 3 days. I can hardly wait to see how things have progressed in a year's time.

 

[jonwon]

I have a mate who needs to come in and read this thread.

You know who you are

(he reads these boards and pretends he does not know i am on here ).

 

[reset]

The guy got a satisfied feeling out of that and has probably been a DJ ever since.

Sometimes you have to be burned to burn away the AFC within you before you can change.

Unless this guy is an extra specially dim bulb once he gets burned for his AFC mindset (which he will be) he will remember all that you've told him and apply it accordingly.

I can attest to this. One chick, very very hot, I walked away from her and it was her mission to burn me, then eventually, to try to win me back over, I refused, she ran away. Felt good to be in control. The next chick I met, I completely threw the rules out and got the LJBF.

I wish I would have done with her, more of the things I did previously. But you have to play out your inner AFCness in a few different scenarios I think, until it really sinks in. That's why I belive failing is GOOD for you--as long as you're determined to LEARN from it, and not let your ego get the best of you "oh it's all her fault, I'm the prize, she lost out". Maybe she did but if you can figure out what YOU did wrong (and this place helps with that) then you're much less likely to repeat the same mistakes.... or if you do you'll know in an instant that you messed up.

In this way I think being burned is good in the long run. Eventually you'll get tired of being burned.

 

[squirrels]

A good "burn" is nature's way of teaching you lessons.

It's not just women, though. There are a LOT of people who just suck down whatever anyone tells them as fact without trying anything for themselves.

You can't "save" anyone who doesn't want to be "saved".

 

[joekerr31]

i just saw 30 days of night, the vampire horror flick.

SPOILER ALERT:
at the end of the movie the 'hero' sacrifices himself. theres a "nice" romantic scene where he dies in the arms of his ex-wife (who btw treated him like a b*tch, but in the end realized she shoudl never have left him).

now i know this is just a movie, but this stuff creates the matrix. i mean, what is the message being sent with this particular story line. the message is that its the man's role to kill himself to save a b*tch. that men should relish the opportunity to lose their lives being the hero, and that all women deserve to be saved no matter how much of a b*tch they are.

i mean, the formula gets played out over and over and over again in movies and in television, is it any wonder guys think the way they do.

 

[jonwon]

i just saw 30 days of night, the vampire horror flick.

SPOILER ALERT:
at the end of the movie the 'hero' sacrifices himself. theres a "nice" romantic scene where he dies in the arms of his ex-wife (who btw treated him like a b*tch, but in the end realized she shoudl never have left him).

now i know this is just a movie, but this stuff creates the matrix. i mean, what is the message being sent with this particular story line. the message is that its the man's role to kill himself to save a b*tch. that men should relish the opportunity to lose their lives being the hero, and that all women deserve to be saved no matter how much of a b*tch they are.

i mean, the formula gets played out over and over and over again in movies and in television, is it any wonder guys think the way they do.

Dont forget Computer games too.

Almost most forms of medium.

Alot of succesful guys, if they saw princess daisy being kidnapped by a big crab looking thing, they would be like ' sweet i can now chat up princess peach ', i'll get some AFC to go rescue her '.

Not saying i wouldn't, make a great change putting your life on the line to save some princess and be rewarded with a kiss for all your efforts, where do i sign up?

Naming a few games from my youth:

Double Dragon (2 brothers)
Final Fight (3 guys, one the dad)

Dam most of the olden games had the story of the girl being kidnapped by one thing or other, with the hero strapping on his super powers to go rescue her.

Maybe it needs more exploration.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

i mean, what is the message being sent with this particular story line.

The Message: Men are disposable. Women are to be preserved at all costs and inspite of themselves.


Welcome to the Matrix.

 

[Mr.Positive]

i just saw 30 days of night, the vampire horror flick.

SPOILER ALERT:
at the end of the movie the 'hero' sacrifices himself. theres a "nice" romantic scene where he dies in the arms of his ex-wife (who btw treated him like a b*tch, but in the end realized she shoudl never have left him).

now i know this is just a movie, but this stuff creates the matrix. i mean, what is the message being sent with this particular story line. the message is that its the man's role to kill himself to save a b*tch. that men should relish the opportunity to lose their lives being the hero, and that all women deserve to be saved no matter how much of a b*tch they are.

i mean, the formula gets played out over and over and over again in movies and in television, is it any wonder guys think the way they do.

D@mnit Jokerr, I was going to see this movie tonight!

Thanks for putting the 'spoiler alert' though, that way it absolves you of any responsiblity for giving us the ending....and, makes it our fault for reading your post!

Oh well..at least my money won't go to funding the matrix.

 

[squirrels]

Dont forget Computer games too.

Almost most forms of medium.

Alot of succesful guys, if they saw princess daisy being kidnapped by a big crab looking thing, they would be like ' sweet i can now chat up princess peach ', i'll get some AFC to go rescue her '.

Not saying i wouldn't, make a great change putting your life on the line to save some princess and be rewarded with a kiss for all your efforts, where do i sign up?

Naming a few games from my youth:

Double Dragon (2 brothers)
Final Fight (3 guys, one the dad)

Dam most of the olden games had the story of the girl being kidnapped by one thing or other, with the hero strapping on his super powers to go rescue her.

Maybe it needs more exploration.

Or maybe it needs less. You're REALLY grasping.

Some of you "Matrix" guys are as bad as the AFCs.

 

[DavenJuan]

i just saw 30 days of night, the vampire horror flick.

SPOILER ALERT:
at the end of the movie the 'hero' sacrifices himself. theres a "nice" romantic scene where he dies in the arms of his ex-wife (who btw treated him like a b*tch, but in the end realized she shoudl never have left him).

now i know this is just a movie, but this stuff creates the matrix. i mean, what is the message being sent with this particular story line. the message is that its the man's role to kill himself to save a b*tch. that men should relish the opportunity to lose their lives being the hero, and that all women deserve to be saved no matter how much of a b*tch they are.

i mean, the formula gets played out over and over and over again in movies and in television, is it any wonder guys think the way they do.

funny ..because i was thinking the exact same thing when i saw the ending. horrible message.

i think what we are missing here is that most AFCs that we try and talk some sense into DO LISTEN. not only LISTEN, but they even TRY to an extent. What i think the issue is that TRYING to do something isnt sufficient. more importantly the REASON WHY they try.

Most of the time its to impress this girl, or INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

"okay, so if i say this and act like that then im gold??...okay.. let me try it out" INSTANT GRATIFICATION if it works, but his MINDSET is still the same

IMO

 

[jonwon]

Or maybe it needs less. You're REALLY grasping.

Some of you "Matrix" guys are as bad as the AFCs.

Yeh i think i was grasping, but you know i probably would have banged money in those machines if it was a pink bunny rabbit or a rabid dog that needed saving.

 

[KontrollerX]

Good post joekerr and very true.

The only movies where I've seen this dynamic reversed and kind of reversed is...

Crow: City of Angels- even though its not even in the same league as the first one starring Brandon Lee the ending of it has the girl Sarah whose fallen in love with the Crow character this time around getting killed trying to save him from the evil Juda character.

The other movie this scenario is sort of played out in but ends like the movie you talked about joekerr would be...

Titanic- Kate Winslet's Rose character has found a life boat but she gets out of it to try and help her lover Jack played by Leonardo Dicaprio to survive risking her life in the process, she also risks her life going to the lower levels of the ship to try and save him when he's handcuffed to a steel pole but the movie ends as we all know with Jack ultimately dying to save Rose but hey at least this movie had her risking her life at least twice before this happened so its a bit more forgiving in this instance.

 

[DJDamage]

Titanic- Kate Winslet's Rose character has found a life boat but she gets out of it to try and help her lover Jack played by Leonardo Dicaprio to survive risking her life in the process, she also risks her life going to the lower levels of the ship to try and save him when he's handcuffed to a steel pole but the movie ends as we all know with Jack ultimately dying to save Rose but hey at least this movie had her risking her life at least twice before this happened so its a bit more forgiving in this instance.

nah man.

A) Kate could have moved her fat ass a bit so Jack could have climbed up on top of her and not be frozen to death in the water.

B) Kate was to be married to a rich dude and instead she cheats on him with another dude because she "wasn't happy" and women everywhere applaud this theme of the movie, yet if the situation was reversed and it was a man who did the cheating, he would be vilified and this movie wouldn't have made this much money. The fact that it seems ok for a woman to do it and not a man, stinks of high heaven.

 

[KontrollerX]

Good points DJDamage.

Though her cheating seemed justifiable in a sense as to me it looked like the Cal character played by Billy Zane was a physically and mentally abusive scumbag.

Plus the story had it seeming to be more of an openly agreed arranged marriage based on money from what her character's mother said than a legitimate love that she was betraying by getting with Leo's Jack character.

Freedom from a mentally and physically abusive arranged marriage I could hardly blame any woman for.

You are probably right though and this is an AFC Matrix mentality movie meant to send a subtle message that cheating for women is justifiable for lame reasons like they are not happy or just got bored etc.

And for this reason they would have to make the Cal character a scumbag and not a nice guy unassuming AFC as then women who praise this movie could say see he was abusive so her cheating was justified.

Then they can twist the message in the movie of her not being happy as a reason that justifies cheating but of course a woman thats getting threatened and mentally abused isn't going to be happy with that situation!

So my conclusion is they made Zane's character an over the top pathetic scumbag to make Winslet's cheating character look good and justified in comparison and the character was justified in this instance which it wouldn't be had Cal been a nice good guy.

People misinterpret, misunderstand and twist what they saw in the movie and the message received is cheating= good in all cases where you're not happy.

And it really isn't.

A good caring person when they are no longer in love with someone end the relationship before they seek out someone new.

In general only a selfish piece of garbage type of person cheats but good people in a rare situation like the Rose character could justifiably cheat as well.

The problem is people draw the line at increasingly shallower levels of when cheating becomes acceptable.

 

[Colossus]

Here's a bulletin re-posted on Myspace by an employee of mine. The title of the bulletin is "I'd do this for my girl":

• give her your hoody even if you go to different schools.
• leave her cute text messages.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• just walk around with her.
• forgive her for her mistakes.
• look at her like she's the only girl you see.
• tickle her even when she says stop.
• hold her hand when you're around your friends and in private.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her. [this makes me angry when guys do this.]
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she's sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead. [love this.]
• don't talk about other girls around her. If you love her, others shouldn't matter.
• when she's sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she's important.
• kiss her in the pouring rain. [romantic to me]
• when you fall in love with her, tell her.
• and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.
• never disrespect her by being perverted, respect her body and her.
• when she blushes, smile and kiss her.
• whenever things are quiet turn to her and hug her tightly

Man, I try to help this guy out. The other day he left a flower on a girls car, then asked her out (she said yes) and he believes he has a shot with her. I tried to tell him that he's already in the friend zone, but he won't listen.

Granted, this guy is about 350 lbs. But that's no excuse to be an AFC.

The guy LISTENS to me, even agrees with most of what I am saying, yet he continues to follow the path of doom when it comes to women.

I guess I can't change the world. Besides, the chick he asked out works next door, and she's cute. I'm sure he won't mind me picking up the pieces when he crashes and burns

A guy could do some of the things on that list and not be an AFC, per se, but its the overall mindset that is conveyed that makes me cringe.

Especially the flowers part of your employee story.

I recently heard about a guy i used to know last year, how he hooked up with this cute girl at our work. She told his friends she wasnt attracted to him sexually.

This guy, whom i thought would have at least some game, buys her freaking flowers, does all kinds of sweet gentlemanly things for her, eats her p*ssy for an hour (!)...and she still doesnt bang him. She had a bf at the time, btw.

Kills me. I used to be that guy...i think thats why i cringe when i hear those stories. Meanwhile this same girl is showing me her bare ass behind the oven at work and ive never once made a pass at her. Just make fun of her when i can.

 

[MR_PERFECT]

A good caring person when they are no longer in love with someone end the relationship before they seek out someone new.

But this is how most women leave a relationship. Are you saying most women are no good?