In need of serious wisdom

[incognito42]

My heads kinda in a ****ed up place from this 19 yo im in class with. She cheated on her bf with me 2 months ago. But since then she seems to have chosen stayin with him over doin what I thought shed do, which was break up with him and be single and start partyin with me. She still texts me all the time. She texts me first thing when she wakes up and be4 she goes to bed, for goin on 2 months. Lots of sexual tension, and like I said, we ****ed 2 months ago. But she wont leave him, or take me iut of the picture by not blowin me up and attavhing herself to me in class. She trys hard to keep me engaged, and I cant seem to walk away. Ive fallen for this girl hard and now Im feelin miserable. This feels so off, and I kno I shouldnt chase some 19 yo with a bf. I kno the riddle is simple and its prolly just that shes like every 19 yo = feelings change with the wind. I knew this all along, yet Im biting hard and im letting her string me along towards what I kno in the back of my mind is a trap.

Im living in a highrise, studying engineering, even volunteering, and in the best shape ever mentally and physically and just completely driven and ambitious, and yet I cant b happy cause Im focused on this ONE girl. I have plenty of other female options, but I dont care about any of them right now. I told myself that for the next year or 2 i dont want to have a gf. I wanted to live the ultimate bachelor life, but cant right now cause Im focused on this one chick

Do you have any great advice for me, i could use it?

 

[Tictac]

Dump this chick. She' lovin' that you are Plan B and so easy to keep you in orbit.

 

[Valentino14]

My heads kinda in a ****ed up place from this 19 yo im in class with. She cheated on her bf with me 2 months ago. But since then she seems to have chosen stayin with him over doin what I thought shed do, which was break up with him and be single and start partyin with me.

Never assume anything about wh0res so you head won't be in a fvcked up place.

I have plenty of other female options, but I dont care about any of them right now.

That's what they all say. If you had other options you'd use them instead of being hung up on teenager.

She's 19 cheating on her bf what do you think she's going to do with you if you ever got together? Nothing is ever going to work out with her. Use your other options to get your head in a better place. Forget about this one.

Dump this chick. She' lovin' that you are Plan B and so easy to keep you in orbit.

Dump her? He isn't even with her. She is with the bf instead of him.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

1) You only want her because you can't have her, not because she is anything special.

2) She is not anything special because you already know she's a cheater. If she can cheat with you, she can cheat on you.

3) You sound pretty well-rounded, if a bit of a nice guy. There are other (better) chicks out there. Millions of them.

 

[expos]

You are having one-itis. It's sounds like you are in a big city, so use that to your advantage.

Nothing good can come of pursuing this girl. Several scenarios

1. You continue to pine for her, you are still her backup boyfriend.

2. Other guy finds out who you are and you get jumped by him and his buddies. This happens. Believe me.

3. You are able to pull her away from the boyfriend, but when things get boring with you, she'll pull ANOTHER guy behind your back. She's 19 and probably hot, and she got away with it before so she's going to do it again.

My advice is to drop her cold, and find a more loyal woman. If you are in shape, have your own place, studying engineering, and aren't a complete tool, then you should have no issues!

 

[VladPatton]

Since you're too weak to get rid of her, you need an accomplice. Go hang out with a friend. Buy him and yourself several rounds of alcohol. Loosen up, man. Unlock your cell and give it to him. Tell him to navigate to your address book and tell him to delete that tw@t from your phone. Go take a piss. When you get back, your life is reset. You can thank me later.

 

[Krueg]

Well think about it, she's cheating on her boyfriend with you and hasnt even left him. What you think could happen if she did leave him for you? She'd probably be fooling around behind your back as well! According to sosuave your 28 and she's only 19... she is young, probably has no idea what she wants and will be going through alot of changes anyways. I would focus on you for now! Trust me, everytime I thought I found the right one, a better one comes along everytime..

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Painting with a bit of a broad brush here, but a rule of thumb I follow is that any girl in the 18-25 age bracket is too young to take seriously. This one is 19. I bet you she's got HUNDREDS of friends on Facebook/Instagram right now, constantly posting pics depicting how fun and exciting life is going for them. You don't think she wants to belong to that club of indiscriminate attention guzzling? Disregard whatever comes out of her mouth - she will only 'settle down' if the guy is of such high value that being with him will match or surpass the cascade of validation she yearns for, and even then the current is bound to be too strong for the two of them to stick together for the long haul. You sound like you've got your sh1t together and have a bright future laid out before you - unless you bring this monkey wrench aboard and have her screw it up for you. Don't let that happen to you.

 

[The411]

My heads kinda in a ****ed up place from this 19 yo im in class with. She cheated on her bf with me 2 months ago. But since then she seems to have chosen stayin with him over doin what I thought shed do, which was break up with him and be single and start partyin with me. She still texts me all the time. She texts me first thing when she wakes up and be4 she goes to bed, for goin on 2 months. Lots of sexual tension, and like I said, we ****ed 2 months ago. But she wont leave him, or take me iut of the picture by not blowin me up and attavhing herself to me in class. She trys hard to keep me engaged, and I cant seem to walk away. Ive fallen for this girl hard and now Im feelin miserable. This feels so off, and I kno I shouldnt chase some 19 yo with a bf. I kno the riddle is simple and its prolly just that shes like every 19 yo = feelings change with the wind. I knew this all along, yet Im biting hard and im letting her string me along towards what I kno in the back of my mind is a trap.

Im living in a highrise, studying engineering, even volunteering, and in the best shape ever mentally and physically and just completely driven and ambitious, and yet I cant b happy cause Im focused on this ONE girl. I have plenty of other female options, but I dont care about any of them right now. I told myself that for the next year or 2 i dont want to have a gf. I wanted to live the ultimate bachelor life, but cant right now cause Im focused on this one chick

Do you have any great advice for me, i could use it?

So you want to be a single bachelor for the next 1 to 2 years who’s fallen hard for a 19 y.o? Either you want to be single or you expect this 19 y.o chick to be a loyal party girlfriend.

19

Cheated on her boyfriend with you.

Loyal party girlfriend material? Seems like you not only expected this chick to leave her boyfriend for you but to be some sort of party "friend" that you'll fall for even more. And then what?

You’ve built up a fantasy of this chick in your mind as “perfect” for you yet the reality is she isn’t the fantasy you desperately cling on to.

Whatever you think you've built with this chick is a mirage. She may've cheated on him with you but you've fallen for a chick who's using you for whatever she isn't getting from her boyfriend at the time. Who knows. Maybe she'll leave both of you.

You need to drop this chick as if she cheated on him with you she’ll cheat on you with him or someone else. Even if she drops the dude for you the “relationship” started on cheating and will end on it. If you plan on getting involved with taken chicks in the future don’t expect them to remain “taken” with you.

You can steal something from a store and then try to convince yourself you paid for it but the reality is it’s stolen goods.

 

[sylvester the cat]

don't waste your time.

she is a cheat and a liar (as lying comes with the cheating territory).

there is no way this would ever work because you would constantly be looking over your shoulder wondering when she'll do the same to you. and she will, because she seeks the thrill of fresh c0ck when she gets bored of the old one. it's nothing personal, just the way she is designed.

you cannot have her and you know this too which is why you think you've fallen for her. but it's just your body chemistry fvcking with you.

 

[incognito42]

Wow. So much wisdom. I really thought everyone would just call me a dbag for even involving myself with a chick who's taken. Thanks for not doing that.

Everything here is spot on, and I know it is too. I just dont know how to bow out the right way at this point. If I just ignore her texts and give her the cold shoulder in class do I just come off like Im butthurt? Does anything need/deserve to be said? How do I eject from this?

 

[The411]

Wow. So much wisdom. I really thought everyone would just call me a dbag for even involving myself with a chick who's taken. Thanks for not doing that.

Everything here is spot on, and I know it is too. I just dont know how to bow out the right way at this point. If I just ignore her texts and give her the cold shoulder in class do I just come off like Im butthurt? Does anything need/deserve to be said? How do I eject from this?

How long do you have class with her? Is it one class? Possible to change the time of your class?

If this sht is affecting you that bad you should look into changing the time of that class, not saying anything to her (not giving her a heads up and keep it cool) then go ghost. Or if you have to keep that class, slowly stop replying to texts phone calls, reply less till nothing, do it as a slow fade out if you can't possibly stand just cutting her off at once.(You'll have to hack it for the hour or so of seeing her till class ends..)

Myself? If I couldn't change the time I took the class and she was still in it? I'd just keep it cordial and tell her up front it's better if we go our seperate ways and she stays with her boyfriend and wish her luck.

Otherwise if you have to stay in that class and just ignore her completely it looks like you got hurt bad showing her you care more (she had some power over you). Not that you should care about a chick who's cheated on her boyfriend with you, but sometimes it's easier said and read than done.

 

[( . )( . )]

Never assume anything about wh0res so you head won't be in a fvcked up place.

What the hell, how did you go from 1 red negative reputation point to 8 greens in literally 6 posts?

 

[blind_one]

Drop her like a brick and never look back, you are wasting your mental energy on her. You seem like a well put together fella. Go and cherish your life because our time here is limited. There are thousands of thousands of chicks out there waiting to meet you, chances are, some of them might be to your liking.

Get out there and conquer the world for it is yours for the taking.

As for that

Wow. So much wisdom. I really thought everyone would just call me a dbag for even involving myself with a chick who's taken. Thanks for not doing that.

Everything here is spot on, and I know it is too. I just dont know how to bow out the right way at this point. If I just ignore her texts and give her the cold shoulder in class do I just come off like Im butthurt? Does anything need/deserve to be said? How do I eject from this?

If I were you I would cut the texting down to zero or bare minimum. And just keep it regular in class. If she confronts you in person bout why your not replying and stuff ( I doubt this happends, ever ), just said you are busy, and even better be busy

And as always, protect your heart.

Peace

 

[incognito42]

Thanks again guys. Im in a much better headspace now. I was in too deep, and slippinnn. Ive all but ignored her daily texts, but in a pleasant way (giving nothin but closed ended responses). She asked on tues in class why Im not responding to her texts anymore, and I just replied with "hmm didnt remember doin that". Used to walk with her after class, but today I just went straight for my car. She texted immediately about something random...shes a bad person. She just wants attention. No matter what positive qualities she has, being beautiful, really intelligent, etc, her dirtbag nature and need for attention over rides everything...Im gonna b friendly to her in class for the next 2 months, and ONLY in class, and leave it at that.

 

[The411]

Thanks again guys. Im in a much better headspace now. I was in too deep, and slippinnn. Ive all but ignored her daily texts, but in a pleasant way (giving nothin but closed ended responses). She asked on tues in class why Im not responding to her texts anymore, and I just replied with "hmm didnt remember doin that". Used to walk with her after class, but today I just went straight for my car. She texted immediately about something random...shes a bad person. She just wants attention. No matter what positive qualities she has, being beautiful, really intelligent, etc, her dirtbag nature and need for attention over rides everything...Im gonna b friendly to her in class for the next 2 months, and ONLY in class, and leave it at that.

If she doesn't stop texting or attention seeking just tell her next time you see her: "Let's keep the interactions in class only. The experience will be better for the both of us." And keep it moving.

 

[cfdagola]

Thanks again guys. Im in a much better headspace now. I was in too deep, and slippinnn. Ive all but ignored her daily texts, but in a pleasant way (giving nothin but closed ended responses). She asked on tues in class why Im not responding to her texts anymore, and I just replied with "hmm didnt remember doin that". Used to walk with her after class, but today I just went straight for my car. She texted immediately about something random...shes a bad person. She just wants attention. No matter what positive qualities she has, being beautiful, really intelligent, etc, her dirtbag nature and need for attention over rides everything...Im gonna b friendly to her in class for the next 2 months, and ONLY in class, and leave it at that.

reading your situation was difficult for me as i'm still in the process of getting over my chick.

she cheated on her fiance with me and even ended their engagement. but man she was like nothing i've ever seen. and she was sex goddess.

she would text me that she misses me, that she's never met a man like me before. just every sweet word a guy could possibly want to hear and then some. She lifted me onto a pedestal in a matter of months.

then it all fell apart. her fiance was always in the picture she would be at his house or he would be at her's they work together it was just messed up.

anyway i didn't like the fact she was always talking to him. asserted myself and that created a rift between us that couldn't be closed. she wanted me to accept that she wouldn't stop talking to him and that was that.

yeah she's back with him now. but honestly there was so many red flags i could start a marching band. Hell listening to her do damage control with him over the phone should have been grounds for me to walk away and never return right then and there. she kept saying "baby, he's just a friend why are you looking to much into this... i love you!" she just turned 24 and i'm 32. so the age gap is the same +1 year.

 

[Thundernuts]

OP Come on man you know better than this. You know this girl is just loving the fact that she has gotten away with totally disrespecting her "relationship" by fvcking you. She is loving how she can text you. She is loving that she can have her cake and eat it too.

Its a ****ty spot but you got to pull through and realise this girl is nothing special. She is no good and she is not worth the pain you are feeling. Don't feel sorry for yourself that you are in this situation, just go out there are start doing the things that you enjoy.

What would you do if she dumped her boyfriend tomorrow. Would you try and fvck her? would you take her to a party. You need to figure out what you wanted out of this in the first place.

I think that you are just feeling a little self doubt since you two did the no pants dance and she is still with her bf instead of wanting some more of you.

 

[ArlieDoxey]

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[incognito42]

OP Come on man you know better than this. You know this girl is just loving the fact that she has gotten away with totally disrespecting her "relationship" by fvcking you. She is loving how she can text you. She is loving that she can have her cake and eat it too.

Its a ****ty spot but you got to pull through and realise this girl is nothing special. She is no good and she is not worth the pain you are feeling. Don't feel sorry for yourself that you are in this situation, just go out there are start doing the things that you enjoy.

What would you do if she dumped her boyfriend tomorrow. Would you try and fvck her? would you take her to a party. You need to figure out what you wanted out of this in the first place.

I think that you are just feeling a little self doubt since you two did the no pants dance and she is still with her bf instead of wanting some more of you.

You nailed it. That has caused self doubt, and I think its the part thats makin me feel a lil sheety still. Kinda questioning myself

I keep reading great points that I know are completely right on about this chick, and idk why I kept ignoring them...

Obviously shes a bad person, but theres more. After we f***** she got to feeling really guilty, and confessed that she robbed her bf with her ex bf when they were first dating. She also said she left him for her ex 2 seperate times when they got together. Shes a complete party/drug/EDM girl that Ive never wanted a relationship with, yet shes sexy as fvck, one of the most intelligent people Ive ever known, and could keep up with me where most attractive chicks are really boring/dumb. She made it seem they were on a rocky road. She relied on his car to get to work/school, and was living with him, so for weeks i played along with her constant sexual texts and actions, thinking when she got her new car shed obviously be out of there. Things didnt go how they seemed. I felt pot committed tho, and dug in deeper. She continued pulling the carrot out in front of me, and even as I began realizing this was happening Ive been unable to look at whats RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, face the facts, and move the f*** onnnnn.

This has helped a lot tho, I needed a kick in the ass to see what was in front of me. Kinda feelin like I failed here, and let myself get played tho. I gotta learn...