Hello everyone. I've been reading up on these forums looking for advice pertaining to my situation, and I thought I would just post. I'll try to keep it kinda to-the-point.
I've been with my girlfriend about 4 and a half years. We live together now and are planning on moving in with her parents to be able to start saving some money. I'm not sure if I'm over-reacting about one of her guy friends....
She met the dude at her old job after we had already been together about 2 years. They exchanged numbers and to this day seem to keep in contact over text regularly. One night a few years ago she and I go out to the bar for drinks, and while we're there she suggests "hey I'm gonna invite some co-workers out to join us" yet out of the few people she invited only this dude shows up. So it's me, her, and this other dude, and they're basically laughing and joking and chatting it up the whole time about school (she's still working on her degree, I'm working on my career path) and I totally feel like the third wheel without much to say.
Fast forward to another time I come home from work and she lets out, kind of slips out, that on her day off she went to get a beer... I ask and find out it was with said dude one-on-one. I remember she wasn't going to tell me. It doesn't sit well with me but instead of really addressing it directly I get visibly bothered which leads to a discussion about how I'm being jealous, she has the right to have her guy friends, am I really that insecure...? etc.
Since then they haven't hung out like that again to my knowledge. The thing is they still talk. Sometimes if she asks me to check a text on her phone I'll see that they've recently been texting. The other night she came home and got into a fight with me over something stupid, I already had plans to get a drink with my friend so I leave, I later see that in her angry state she texts him to ask how he's been while I'm out with my friend. The dude is regularly texting her about how they should hang out, how he'll be out this way on such-and-such date and that they should kick it. I've met and hung out with him. He obviously knows we're together.
I get that she can have guy friends and I can have girl friends, it's just that I've sort of naturally been out of contact with my female friends over the duration of our relationship. But she exchanges numbers with dudes she meets through work and contacts them. She's invited other guys from work to hang out with us when we've gone out in groups to get drinks or to dance. I'm not texting with any girls I've met at work. I'm not entertaining meeting up with another girl. The only girl I've spent any one-on-one time with (and I realize some may say this is a problem...?) since I've gotten with my girlfriend is my girlfriend. I feel like she wouldn't like to find me texting or getting drinks at a bar with another chick, so in that regard I wonder if I'm being disrespected. It feels like it.
So, what do y'all think? Is this a red flag or am I tripping and need to regain confidence? I appreciate any advice, thanks!
