Improving text game?

[Nietzsche1871]

New to sosuave. This is a conversation with a girl I had a few days after I got her number. Where can I improve? She rejected the offer and didnt suggest another day both bad signs. I categorically refuse to ask women out twice. If a woman doesnt take my first offer I NEXT her.


Me: hey its ___

Her: hey

Me: are you free tomorrow

Her: I mean I got an exam

Her: why?

Me: how about we hang out at ___ park

Her: Hmmm like a date?

Me: just hanging out rn

Her: Hm okkk

Her: ig im down, ive got a lot going on td but another time

 

[Westminster]

Your instincts are right, move on. Next her.

 

[RangerMIke]

I'm terrible at texting, so I don't do it. No way you can really tell the mindset of a woman over text. She probably has at least a few guys doing this and is just juggling text messages.

But in this case, you didn't really ask her out. It is always best that you make things very clear what your intentions are with a specific time/date/place then see what she does with this. She asked if this was a date, and you said no... that wasn't exactly honest.

Maybe I'm too old to understand what is going on with young people, so I don't get the whole 'we're talking' or "we're hanging out'. I suppose I should feel lucky that I came up in a time where you were on a date or you were not. Get to the point quickly, so you can quickly figure out if she is interested and available. Like pulling off a Band-Aid.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Honestly that is quite a boring Convo to be having. You brought no energy to it, offered a date but then refused to call it a date. Just seems weird, tbh.

Her: is it a date?

Me: Yes, but only if you promise to be on your best behavior and keep your hands to yourself.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Your social skills are severely lacking.

 

[Nietzsche1871]

Your social skills are severely lacking.

explain

 

[CornbreadFed]

explain

Your approach lacks finesse. You are jumping straight to the point without any warm-up or consideration for her situation. It's like you are treating her availability as the only thing that matters, not taking into account her emotional availability or schedule. When she asks if it's a date, you dodge the question instead of being honest about your intentions. That's lame AF. It comes off as unclear and wishy-washy. . Overall, it feels like you're bulldozing through the conversation without much finesse or social IQ. That's not a great way to build rapport or make plans.

 

[Prime_Dutchman]

Replace

Me: are you free tomorrow
Me: how about we hang out at ___ park

With: I’m going to ___ park tomorrow, want to come along?

Her: Hmmm like a date?

Me: Yes, exactly like a date. I’m wearing something nice, you should dress to match.

 

[Nietzsche1871]

Your approach lacks finesse. You are jumping straight to the point without any warm-up or consideration for her situation. It's like you are treating her availability as the only thing that matters, not taking into account her emotional availability or schedule. When she asks if it's a date, you dodge the question instead of being honest about your intentions. That's lame AF. It comes off as unclear and wishy-washy. . Overall, it feels like you're bulldozing through the conversation without much finesse or social IQ. That's not a great way to build rapport or make plans.

yeah ok that makes sense. tbh i dont have a very high social iq. i usually rely on looks, feigning disinterest, and what teasing i can muster during the date which serves me ok. with the axiom that i dont have a high social iq how should i best compensate?

also acting disinterested and not extraverted is the way i compensate low social iq to prevent exhibiting cringe

 

[Nietzsche1871]

Honestly that is quite a boring Convo to be having. You brought no energy to it, offered a date but then refused to call it a date. Just seems weird, tbh.

Her: is it a date?

Me: Yes, but only if you promise to be on your best behavior and keep your hands to yourself.

that is good game but if i cant follow that up with excellent game in person wont that seem cringe

 

[BackInTheGame78]

that is good game but if i cant follow that up with excellent game in person wont that seem cringe

Irrelevant if you can't even get her out in person.

 

[anonymous12345]

that is good game but if i cant follow that up with excellent game in person wont that seem cringe

Start somewhere.

 

[Mertz09]

that is good game but if I cant follow that up with excellent game in person wont that seem cringe

Okay, 1st. Who cares if "she" thinks it is cringe. If you like her then I would ask her again but without worrying about cringe.
2. Above are some great ideas from DJs.... use them.
3. If you are a good-looking guy then what you lack is confidence in yourself, that will come with time and experience.

I usually causally ask "Do you have any interest in....? fill in the blank
If she says no....well move on and learn from the "experience"
It aint the end of the world....

 

[Nietzsche1871]

Okay, 1st. Who cares if "she" thinks it is cringe. If you like her then I would ask her again but without worrying about cringe.

completely disagree. 1st cringe almost never works unless the woman is cringe. 2nd i would rather be without a wet hole than get one from resorting to cringe. Asking twice displays neediness and basically brands you as beta. Pride for me is more important.

 

[Mertz09]

completely disagree. 1st cringe almost never works unless the woman is cringe. 2nd i would rather be without a wet hole than get one from resorting to cringe. Asking twice displays neediness and basically brands you as beta. Pride for me is more important.

Next

 

[mandalay_noodles]

all i say on tinder is

hey

want to hangout later tonight

last time i did that it worked. or if she has ***** pics just ask if she wants to hookup

i’m a terrible texter. any up to date posts you all recommend i read to improve?

 

[SW15]

Send text messages primarily for logistics, not conversation.

 

[JoyDivision1990]

all i say on tinder is

hey

want to hangout later tonight

last time i did that it worked. or if she has ***** pics just ask if she wants to hookup

i’m a terrible texter. any up to date posts you all recommend i read to improve?

I don't think there is any special 'art' to it, why not text her same as what you would say when meeting her IRL?

For example, meeting at a club. Would you approach and immediately ask her if she wants to hook up? Some men would, it's called Mode One and some men swear by it.

But let's say you met her spontaneously while out and about, waiting for the train, on line at the market or anywhere.

When initiating a convo, what would you say?

Just talk to her same as if you met her in real. Natural, organic. Play off her responses. Try to not overthink it. It will come off awkward and contrived.

If she has nothing to say and/or her responses are one word blah, stop texting and move to next, same as you would had you met her in real.

If you have decent social skills generally, texting versus verbal communication should not be difficult.

The key is to be natural. If you're c0cky and funny IRL, then be c0cky and funny on text, etc.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Send text messages primarily for logistics, not conversation.

I disagree with this. This is cope from guys who get themselves in trouble by texting rather than figuring out how to excite a woman thru texting.

 

[anonymous12345]

I disagree with this. This is cope from guys who get themselves in trouble by texting rather than figuring out how to excite a woman thru texting.

I find that part challenging, how to be C&F, upbeat, charming and all that. I often attempt it, but it is often received negatively. My problem is that I don't have the energy for it, or the mood, am rather resigned. Let me know your tips for having a feel for what is suitable and what that is positively received as part of being C&F.