Ideas

cirtran

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I'll just start out by saying I am not the most experienced when it comes to creating meaningful smalltalk with women I do not know and didn't realize the skill it takes to actually get something out of it until I started trying it. Yes, I suppose I am still shy but I've improved alot over the past few years, and it doesn't freak me out to go up to women and say a couple words to her but I find myself lacking in the art of conversation, which is another area I need to work on now!

I just got a new job out of college and pretty proud of myself for being able to move up in my career. I decided I want to try and date the secretary at my work. I work at a very large company and there is a secretary at a back entrance of the building. I first saw her one day exiting a bathroom as I walked by and she smiled at me so I said "hi" A few days later I realized this was the secretary at the back door and once again she smiled and we exchanged "hi how are yous"

I've actually been avoiding her because I don't want to see her until I get some ideas on what I could say to her to create smalltalk but she would walk by my area and look at me then I would see her, she would smile and look away. This has been going on for about a week and a half. However today she once again walked by me on her way to the bathroom and looked at the exact opposite direction of me. Probably because it gets old just looking at each other. This is basically a girl I can see in the distance in a large office that I will see if I come in the back entrance or she walks by me on her way to the bathroom.

So I have been trying to figure out something I could say to her instead of "hi how are you" as I walk by her to my workstation. That just doesn't go anywhere obviously. I'm sure people on this board have plenty of ideas and I guess I'm just trying to improve my social skills.

Work with me here I'm obviously not gifted in creating small talk but I have been working on it and you should have seen me a few years ago!:)
 

italostud

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Originally posted by cirtran
ow!

I just got a new job out of college and pretty proud of myself for being able to move up in my career.
If you want to keep feeling good about your new position, don't start trying to fyck the secretary as soon as you start working there.

Do you know anything about her? Is she a chronic flirt? Has she got other guys fired in the past? Don't sacrifice your new job for this girl. Take some time. Hold back for a while, maybe become friends but that's it until you get all the dirt on her.

There's a possibility that there *could* be a chance for something to happen there, but there's a much greater possibility for you to get yourself into a sticky situation. Then you'll wish that you never even took a second glance at her.

Think about it hard.
 

cirtran

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That is excellent advice and I will definitely keep that in mind. Do you have any ideas on how I could proceed, slowly? At least getting some way where we could carry conversation. I will watch myself.

And I guess this is something I have been having problems with in general. If a girl is a friend of a friend or something there's plenty of opportunities for you to talk together. If this is a girl you don't know and just pass by them or see someone at a store, getting to know them takes more skill, to me. I just need to learn how to talk people up who I don't know.
 

SELF-MASTERY

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please be careful. I have a dumb ass friend who gets so enamored(sp) by ho's that he tries to hard and comes on to heavy. THis attitude has caused him to get fired and banned from a company that has the market conrnered, resulting in him not being able to find a job.

Be weary of office hos, they can ruin your career. I would go as far, as to say, never date co-workers. Unless they're your superior:p
 
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