I met this girl in a pet store, she is working there. She initiated the conversations, so I became a little interested. We talked online for a while, and everytime I went there, laughing, I would bust her balls once in a while, and so on. One day she says that we should go out the next Saturday. I tell her that I will see if I have the time. The next time I go there she asks for my phone number, and asks me if I will be in a certain club that night because she will be there. I did not go, as I went somewhere else. She texts me at 2 A.M or something like that asking me if I am there, I did not answer the text because I did not see it until the morning. Saturday, when we agreed to meet, (I asked her during the week if the plan is still on) I called her at about 1 PM, and she said that we will meet but later because she is busy. I said, OK, I did not intend to meet right now anyway, so she should give me a call when she will be done, so we can talk when to meet. She did not call, but she sent me a message towards the evening that she was sorry for not calling me back. Is she playing or what? I do not understand all this interest and then she does such a thing. I do not care too much about the fact that we did not meet, but I do not like these kind of people who hide, instead of telling it like it is. What should I do the next time when I go there? Should I be indifferent, should I be funny again? should I ask her out this time?
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I have a question
- Thread starter Aka
- Start date
Igetit!
Moderator
One thing I notice about how this girl interacts with you is this....Aka said:
She shows a LOT of interest in you.
She initiate the conversations
She asks for your number
She suggests a time for you two to have a date
..and she sends you messages to see where you're at
Now that's cool and all....BUT,how have you shown interest in her?
You can't just sit back and RECEIVE from her,that's not a man's role. If you just sit back being passive,ESPECIALLY in the beginning of a possible relationship,she'll lose interest.
Nobody wants to do ALL THE WORK while the other person just sits there getting all the benefits.
If she just keeps pouring out and pouring out and you just sit there taking it all in,eventually,her interest is going to drop.
Other than saying "yes" when she suggests you two getting together to go do something,how do you show interest to her?
"I'm busy" is a bad sign. If she had told you that she would have to meet you later because of something SPECIFIC...i.e:she has an error to run,she's going to be getting off work late,or something like that,then cool,but just to say "I'm busy" period isn't good. That's like a default setting girls fall back on when they have nothing concrete to say.Aka said:
Aka said:
I don't know if she's playing games or not,but the way you've been showing your interest in her will shed a LOT of light on the situation.
Your behavior towards her will help us to determine what EXACTLY is going on with her.
Have you ever complimented her? Used sexual innuendo? Romantically flirted with her? Have you done or said ANYTHING SEXUAL towards her? Because you just sitting back while she shows all the interest just ain't gonna cut it.
Aka said:
Don't be indifferent.
Don't be cold.
Don't be withholding.
Just talk to her like you normally would. Also ask her what happened the other day. Be like,"Hey,so what happened the other day? I was hoping to have you to MYSELF for a little while,and all I got was that sorry text you sent me".
Just flat out talk to her WITHOUT BEING cold,upset,angry,or whining.
And yes,ask her out again...if you want,but this time,be like..."Well look,I've have to (do whatever) tommorrow,but on (the day after tomorrow) I should be free after 6 oclock (or whatever time),so let's hang out then."
If she goes for it,then cool,but if she pulls out another "I'm busy" on you WITHOUT suggesting another time to get together,then you might want to consider dropping her.
Yeah, well I gave her compliments once in a while, talked in a sexual manner with her, made a little fun of her once in a while, I mixed things up, and so on. I also asked her if she would be out, as I would be there as well, but I did not make the first moves. To be hones I wasn't too interested in the beginning, and I had no idea that she worked there for such a long time until she started to talk to me. It's funny how a little indifference can make things different. Another problem is that I do not have too much time to talk to her in the store, as it is always full of clients, and I would not like to talk online with her too much either.
Igetit!
Moderator
Aka said:
Well it's actually pretty simple...
If you want to take this girl out,well....then you ask her out.
If you don't,then....well...well you don't.
If you've already had a date with her,but you failed to make any sort of move on her after ALL THE SEXUAL TALK AND COMPLIMENTS you gave her,it makes you look bad,makes you seem incongruent.
It's like you talk a good game,but when the rubber meets the road and it's time to put up or shut up,you fold. And of course you already know that girls won't find that attractive.
I hate to get into specifics,but if this girl seemed interested in you at one point,but now her interest just seems sort of...well..."blah",then either....
She's met someone else she's more interested in...or
You've drop the ball somewhere along the way in how you've been interacting with her.
If you still want to date her,then just go ask her out,but do it similiarly to the way I suggested above. The way I framed it above let's her know that you're interested in seeing her,but you still have a life and world of your own and that although you're busy,you'll FIND TIME to fit her in there somewhere.
It really just all depends on what it is you want.