I fvcked up & need to recover- Help

[syncmaster]

I'm having a bit of a problem... I'm just starting out university and i'm also just out of an awesome LTR... I ended up meeting this really cool chick through the school's message boards and we met up on monday. Monday she was all flirty at first w/ lots of kino, etc... I asked if I could hang out in her dorm room while she was getting ready for a party later that night and she said sure no prob... an hour later and she had changed completley. I was getting the cold shoulder and asked her what was up, she said she wasn't comfortable w/ me up in her room yet... which is fine, i can deal w/ that.
We were suppose to go out later that night to the party and I called her up and she was really sick (drank lake water during frosh earlier in the day). I was a bit annoyed but, alrighty - i'll deal w/ it. So I went out w/ some other friends.
There were different groups for competitions and we were in the same group (by request) - She decided yesterday that she wanted to go off and spend time with her room mate. I can understand that as well - it was only her 3rd day in Ottawa.
I talked to her last night on msn and she wasn't answering but was "online" so I said "ok, well obviously you're too busy to chat so i'll ttyl". 3 minutes later she said that she had a party in her room and that she was really drunk, etc... she asked how I was doing and what I did (i told her & embilished the fact that I had spent the evening with other girls - good idea/ bad idea?) She told me I was "different and she was pissed at me for assuming things". ... Alright. So I asked her out for lunch today last night and she was ok - i said i'd call in the morning and we'd chat then.
I called this morning and she was still out of it a bit. We chatted & laughed a bit then things got awkward. I asked her if she remembered that I asked her out last night (she was drunk & so was I). She ended up telling me she was pissed because I was expecting too much. She had only been here for 3 days (today is the 4th) and can't spend time w/ everyone. I understand that as well....
Now what I don't understand is how the fvck can I reverse this. When we first got together all she had was positive impressions and feelings about me now there is some negativity mixed in that's messing things up. Before I was only associated w/ good - now theres something else thrown in the mix. So I understand the problem and the psychology behind it - but haven't though of any suggestions of how to fix it. Any advice?

 

[Sun-Tan Superman]

Yessss I found my old acct woot woot

 

[Enigmatron]

yeah i had that kind of situation a few weeks back, i was talking to her on msn messenger and everything was fine and then for the next few hours like split personality or something! its was really weird and she messed with my mind!

trying to make me believe she had girlfriends over and they were drunk and stoned, and that i was talking to another girl, while she sat back and let me think i was talking to her and everything

it was her all along by herself playing some mind game and i fount out for sure later that it was her doing this

why i have know f*ckin idea but it nearly broke us up the stuff that was said on msn

i let it go and pass anyway and didnt challenge her with it, god i felt sick that weekend what a mind f*ck

why do women do this to us these damn tests and stuff

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

I believe another thread not to long ago talk about this. And this is why you should just meet girls in person and tell them to go on a date rather then meeting girls online then hooking up.

The reason why things happen the way they did was do to a couple of reasons. And those reasons are;

1. Too much expectation. My guess you probably acted all tough, ****y, funny, laid back, and outgoing guy on the net. However when you two finally meet in person she gets to realize that all that was just a show a facade. Because when in person you didn't keep the same persona that you did when you talked to her on the net. My 2nd guess is that you were quite and you made things awkward. Hence why she didn't feel comfortable with you in her room. Remember whatever you do on the net include actions and way of speech you have to do in person. Or this will happen.

2nd. You asked way too many times for things. Next time just do it.

3. I saw too many of "i can deal w/ that" in your story. Why in the world did you ever put up with so much garbage from that ho? After the second decline on the date I would of left it alone.

4. To me it didn't seem like you initiated the Kino or put any moves on her. In the beginning of your post you said she started it off. My guess you stood there like a rock and thinking way too much either to make a move or about your ex GF. Probably both. This is kinda going along with what number 1 said. She was coming with a High IL because she thought she was going to meet this amazing man. But when push comes to shove that wasn't the case.

Hey I've been here bro. I've done this Internet hook ups when I was an AFC and I was kinda in the same boat with you. But now that I’m much older, wiser, I know better not to do Internet hookups or dates. Even though I'm a DJ now I still don't do it, it's just not my style.

 

[syncmaster]

Hey There;
Wow ok - one of your points hit home... the kino thing. You're right - i never even realized that. I didn't stand there like a rock, I joked back but not to the same extent. Her IL was high and it's dropped.
There was no facade though. Lol - I am fun and ****y and all that stuff (not to the same extent - I had her to the point where she almost stripped on webcam) and we did have a blast for the first part of the day then I really don't know what happened. It seemed to center around not going to her room. In the time I spent "not going to her room" I ended up meeting 2 other girls that I went home with. I don't generally have a problem picking up chicks - it's that this one is being a challenge and it's intriguing me.
I don't quite understand what you mean by saying stop asking and do it - you mean break into her room?? LOL.
Thanks for the tip on the kino though.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

Originally posted by syncmaster
Hey There;
Wow ok - one of your points hit home... the kino thing. You're right - i never even realized that. I didn't stand there like a rock, I joked back but not to the same extent. Her IL was high and it's dropped.
There was no facade though. Lol - I am fun and ****y and all that stuff (not to the same extent - I had her to the point where she almost stripped on webcam) and we did have a blast for the first part of the day then I really don't know what happened. It seemed to center around not going to her room. In the time I spent "not going to her room" I ended up meeting 2 other girls that I went home with. I don't generally have a problem picking up chicks - it's that this one is being a challenge and it's intriguing me.
I don't quite understand what you mean by saying stop asking and do it - you mean break into her room?? LOL.
Thanks for the tip on the kino though.

Well maybe being that it was your first time hooking up and you wanted to go to her doorm room kinda freaked her out. She may have felt you were moving to fast. And all you wanted was just hook up and have sex. But hey, I don't know you two nor was I there I'm just guessing. Also when i said stop asking and do it not break in her room lol but it seem like you were too caring with things. like you were too understanding for her feelings like she was your GF. You know what i'm saying. And also it seem like you ask like if she was still going on the date with you. I kinda miss phrased it but understand make a date, shes says yes assume shes going.

 

[MacAvoy]

From what I quickly skimmed, you are too available to her. Back off a little bit, give her a chance to miss you, this is the perfect time to find new people, don't get tied down w/ just this one.