I fvck girls, but can't keep any good ones

[Sofomore]

Long post, get ready.

A little background: I have been reading DJ material for about 4 years and over the course of this time I've laid around 25 women and had a 2-year LTR. I'm also selective and only fvck the hottest I can find (a little shallow, I know). Getting girls is not the problem, it's just keeping them that I struggle with.

The usual course goes like this...spinning plates ---> love spending time with top plate/FWB ---> top plate and I become exclusive around 8 months of hooking up ---> girlfriend fakes fight/ becomes uninterested --->breakup.

Now I think this might be a problem with the girls that I am attracting. When I am single I usually have 2-4 girls I am sleeping with and 2 or 3 potentials. They know I have others and they accept it. After they bring up exclusivity and I agree, I drop my other plates but know deep down I can get plates at any time.

I want to date these girls. I qualify them and make sure that it's a damn good decision for me to giving up sleeping with other women. In other words, they're worth it.

It seems these girls I am dating lose interest when we become exclusive. I do my best not to beta backslide, but sometimes I lose frame and am too available. Hey, I'm human after all.

So does this mean the girls I am attracted to are addicted to the chase? All they want is to "conquer the player" so to speak? Once I no longer have all my plates, I provide no challenge? I'm not really down with getting number while being in a LTR. But if I have to change that, I will. Anything to improve.

My friends could be another reason this is happening. I am the type of guy that has a bunch of friends that are acquaintances and see occasionally, rather than 2-5 best friends. Last time I had "best friends" they all got wifed up and their girlfriends saw me as a threat, so they convinced them not to kick it with me any more. Also, I have pretty much hooked up with every single one of their girlfriends before they were dating. Most of them don't know it. It's almost as if I am a threat to the security of their relationship because I "get it" and their boyfriends are blinded by pu$$y.

With my friends being mostly beta acquaintances I don't really have any go-to friends to hit up, so I end up spending a lot of time with my plates. This leads to me being too available when I find a girl I really like and drop those plates. And knowing how attraction works, being too available is unattractive.

Have any of you experienced this? Do I need to develop better friendships with guys? Do I need to "be myself" more from the beginning?

Any advice is helpful, but please only post if you have experience to back it up. Thanks gents.

 

[iamnobody]

So does this mean the girls I am attracted to are addicted to the chase? All they want is to "conquer the player" so to speak? Once I no longer have all my plates, I provide no challenge?

ALL girls are addicted to the chase, so a little dread game should do the trick. Lightly flirt with other girls in her presence - with plausable deniability, of course. She will take the hint and she will keep chasing. Also, spend less time with them, flake once or twice.
In fact, act like chicks do. This make their heads and hamsters spin.

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you already know the answer. The kind of girls you're attracted to, are attracted to YOU because you are a bad boy player, or whatever. That's what they seek after. They aren't LTR material, and don't seek someone who is. They're ALL about the chase, thrills, sex, status, "prize" mentality, etc. Once you become more comfortable and "decent" - they lose interest and bail. That's it right there.

This is the catch-22 of this lifestyle. You attract hotties and sluts, but they're not worth keeping around... nor do they want someone who is. THESE are the kind of girls who are attracted to bad boys and players. None of them are quality... and I think they know it, too. Just dumb sluts, or bishes with issues.

But yes, this is what you get for being shallow and leading this lifestyle. Used to do the same thing, and attracted the same types. Never found that diamond in the rough... probably 'cause it doesn't exist. Otherwise they wouldn't be seeking out guys like this, and avoiding the decent ones... even if it's the same person, at different times. They're attracted to this type for a reason.

You gotta realize that ****ty people exist out there. Just because YOU might have some depth, or whatever, doesn't mean other people do. A lot of these bishes are just straight-out retarded... no sense, logic, class, morals, etc. Don't dig for the depth that isn't there; sympathize with, or try to change shallow retards. Or think that everyone is on your same wavelength, and holds the same views. They might whine, or think they're smart and have sense, or feel entitled, but at the end of the day, a shallow wh0re is still a shallow wh0re. Read through the lines, and you'll find that EVERYTHING about them is shallow, vain, and stupid. It's their whole lifestyle and mentality.

This can apply to guys, as well. Used to be at the center of the shallow douchebag drama crowd. They were ALL retarded.

 

[TheCWord]

floyd - does your post then imply that there are good, decent girls out there who won't just split once the bad boy chase thing is over? If so, can we still attract them using the principals we've learned on SoSuave? Or are we all just setting ourselves up for a lifetime of attracting girls who will ultimately bolt so that we're all still here posting about working day game in our 60s?

 

[Sofomore]

Yeah I am wondering the same thing. I am 22 years old and if this sh!t is going to be the same for the rest of my life I might stop reading this site.

 

[Jaylan]

Something a lot of guys dont realize is this;

A lot of girls as they get to know you, do just like guys do. They size you up as hookup potential or relationship potential. Think about it, not a lot of the decent girls out there are gonna be thrilled about getting a guy to commit whos sleeping around with other girls and not making her feel valued. Same way a lot of guys here feel.

Once you have enough chick friends you start to see this is true in many cases. So while you may get some to commit, I think these girls start getting GIGS and wanting out because they realize youre not the guy they want long term.

In other words, if you meet a legit cool girl, in the early going you need to make her feel valued and like shes quality, and she needs to be doing the same thing for you. Because trust me, the problems they have with your behavior will carry over into the committed relationship.

Many of us have fallen victim to holding a grudge or two against a girl in the past. I know in my younger naive days I thought I could swallow my dissatisfaction regarding the behavior of a girl I really liked. But once you lose a certain respect for a girl, the relationship wont work. I see that working the same way with a lot of girls.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Wanting to "keep" a girl in 2013 is a loser mindset. If you want possession, you have already lost he game.

Spin plates or be a slave. Those are really your only options these days.

When I hear a man say: "I want to keep a good girl" that translates to --> I want a princess to pedestalize. I WANT to have oneitis.

WTF? :trouble:

 

[TheCWord]

Wanting to "keep" a girl in 2013 is a loser mindset. If you want possession, you have already lost he game.

Spin plates or be a slave. Those are really your only options these days.

When I hear a man say: "I want to keep a good girl" that translates to --> I want a princess to pedestalize. I WANT to have oneitis.

WTF? :trouble:

Do you envision yourself spinning plates right up to your deathbed?

 

[Sofomore]

I knew play her man would roll up and say some sh!t like that. I don't think he understands that sex in a committed relationship is the best.

Did you actually read the thread or did you just go off the title? Not everything is so black and white. Oh wait, that's right you don't have the ability to take into consideration other people's opinions because you are right and everyone else is wrong.

Have you ever met a woman that you actually enjoy being around? One that you could consider your best friend? I honestly doubt it.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Do you envision yourself spinning plates right up to your deathbed?

YES. :yes:

My dad is in his 60's and still spinning plates. This idea that your life is "meaningless" unless you settle down with a woman is for faggots.

If I have kids.. I'll commit to the family unit but marriage is out of the question.

I knew play her man would roll up and say some sh!t like that. I don't think he understands that sex in a committed relationship is the best.

Did you actually read the thread or did you just go off the title? Not everything is so black and white. Oh wait, that's right you don't have the ability to take into consideration other people's opinions because you are right and everyone else is wrong.

Have you ever met a woman that you actually enjoy being around? One that you could consider your best friend? I honestly doubt it.

Looks like we have a white knight in the building.

The answer to your question is YES. But so what? Just because I enjoy being around a woman I must place my balls in her handbag and be her puppy dog?

The committed relationship primarily serves the woman and men who like being "of service" as a gopher, ATM, body guard, therapist, etc... which I am not inclined.

 

[Sofomore]

YES. :yes:

My dad is in his 60's and still spinning plates. This idea that your life is "meaningless" unless you settle down with a woman is for faggots.

If I have kids.. I'll commit to the family unit but marriage is out of the question.

And the truth comes out. Daddy issues. You're just as bad as the girl who grew up with no father so she can't comprehend what a healthy relationship is like.

 

[TheCWord]

YES. :yes:

My dad is in his 60's and still spinning plates. This idea that your life is "meaningless" unless you settle down with a woman is for faggots.

If I have kids.. I'll commit to the family unit but marriage is out of the question.

I think a lot of couples have happy, successful and stable marriages. I haven't decided if such a thing is for me, but I find it to be overly cynical to condemn any marriage as a death sentence.

I've seen friends recently married: happy. 10 years married: happy. Elderly couples who are so happy and in love after decades that you'd think it was out of some lame Notebook-esque movie.

I'm sure those couples have had their struggles, as any relationship will, but there are definitely marriages that do not involve slavery, cheating, misery, depression, etc. These would be in the minority, I'm sure, but they exist.

It's okay if settling down one day isn't for you, but the idea that anybody who chooses to live their lives differently from you is somehow dumber than you and will never be as fulfilled as you is kind of crazy.

And, PlayHerMan, to be clear - big respect for a lot of the wisdom you bring to the forum, and I generally enjoy your posts, but if we're talking about things that are out of date for 2013, the term "faggot" is definitely passé. I'm not surprised that you choose to use it, seeing as you seem to look down on anyone who chooses a different lifestyle from you, but I'm sure there are gay men who spin plates and share many of your same values... they just stick their ****s in different places.

 

[TheCWord]

And the truth comes out. Daddy issues. You're just as bad as the girl who grew up with no father so she can't comprehend what a healthy relationship is like.

Before PHM freaks, I think this is a fair observation. We are all a product of how we are raised. Which is why I'm more inclined to see the value in marriage, because my parents have been married for 40 years, and why he is so quick to shun it because it is what he's observed growing up.

There's no right or wrong, just different views on the world.

I think regardless of if you see yourself ending up like my folks or like PHM and his dad, becoming a stronger, better man via the tips on SS is definitely the way to go - once you're happy with yourself, you can then be happy with lots of women or one woman or no women.

But not men, PHM doesn't approve of that.

 

[PlayHer Man]

And the truth comes out. Daddy issues. You're just as bad as the girl who grew up with no father so she can't comprehend what a healthy relationship is like.

So whats YOUR issue? Watching too many Disney movies? You talk like a 15 year old girl.. not a man.

Lay off the chick-flix my man. :crackup: :crackup:

I think a lot of couples have happy, successful and stable marriages. I haven't decided if such a thing is for me, but I find it to be overly cynical to condemn any marriage as a death sentence.

I've seen friends recently married: happy. 10 years married: happy. Elderly couples who are so happy and in love after decades that you'd think it was out of some lame Notebook-esque movie.

I'm sure those couples have had their struggles, as any relationship will, but there are definitely marriages that do not involve slavery, cheating, misery, depression, etc. These would be in the minority, I'm sure, but they exist.

It's okay if settling down one day isn't for you, but the idea that anybody who chooses to live their lives differently from you is somehow dumber than you and will never be as fulfilled as you is kind of crazy.

And, PlayHerMan, to be clear - big respect for a lot of the wisdom you bring to the forum, and I generally enjoy your posts, but if we're talking about things that are out of date for 2013, the term "faggot" is definitely passé. I'm not surprised that you choose to use it, seeing as you seem to look down on anyone who chooses a different lifestyle from you, but I'm sure there are gay men who spin plates and share many of your same values... they just stick their ****s in different places.

"Faggot" is a term I use when talking about a man I view as weak, beta and timid. I don't mean a literal homosexual.

What do you care either way?

 

[Sofomore]

So whats YOUR issue? Watching too many Disney movies? You talk like a 15 year old girl.. not a man.

Lay off the chick-flix my man. :crackup: :crackup:

Honestly some of the stuff you post here is gold. Truly great material. My only problem is how closed-minded you are. It's my way or the highway with you. This is a Don Juan Discussion, and you don't seem to be able to discuss...only impose your opinions.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Honestly some of the stuff you post here is gold. Truly great material. My only problem is how closed-minded you are. It's my way or the highway with you. This is a Don Juan Discussion, and you don't seem to be able to discuss...only impose your opinions.

Again.. with the girly whining.

What do you expect to "discuss" by telling me I have "daddy issues"? That's just a standard vaginal shaming attack. Then you get mad when I don't smile and agree?

Get the f*ck out of here bro. :crackup:

 

[Sofomore]

Again.. with the girly whining.

Again with the standard vaginal shaming. Goes both ways bro.

Ah fvck, I forgot about that saying, "Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Good day sir, hope to not see you preach your opinions on this thread any more.

 

[Jaylan]

Dont concern yourself with that troll OP. Hes a classic case of a jaded red pill swallower who believes everything from that side of the road as mantra...and takes it too far at that. All he can ever do is jump in a thread and seek to put people down because apparently his way is the only right way. Dont even argue with him...let him believe what he wants.

Fact of the matter is, a lot of people out there want an emotional connection with someone else. And there are good women out there to share part of your life with, however long you wish that to be. You just gotta know how to find them.

As it stands, you cant expect to attract good women when you carry yourself as someone many girls wont see as relationship material. You gotta change who you attract...which means altering your behavior some. Because as a previous poster said, if you act like a player, you are gonna get sluts and chicks who arent good for commitment.

I think a lot of couples have happy, successful and stable marriages. I haven't decided if such a thing is for me, but I find it to be overly cynical to condemn any marriage as a death sentence.

I've seen friends recently married: happy. 10 years married: happy. Elderly couples who are so happy and in love after decades that you'd think it was out of some lame Notebook-esque movie.

I'm sure those couples have had their struggles, as any relationship will, but there are definitely marriages that do not involve slavery, cheating, misery, depression, etc. These would be in the minority, I'm sure, but they exist.

It's okay if settling down one day isn't for you, but the idea that anybody who chooses to live their lives differently from you is somehow dumber than you and will never be as fulfilled as you is kind of crazy.

And, PlayHerMan, to be clear - big respect for a lot of the wisdom you bring to the forum, and I generally enjoy your posts, but if we're talking about things that are out of date for 2013, the term "faggot" is definitely passé. I'm not surprised that you choose to use it, seeing as you seem to look down on anyone who chooses a different lifestyle from you, but I'm sure there are gay men who spin plates and share many of your same values... they just stick their ****s in different places.

This this this.

Its usually from the bitter immature lot, that we see the word faggot being thrown at men who dare want to enjoy a committed relationship. How childish is it that when one cannot handle that people have a difference of opinion they lash out at them.

Clearly Playher Man is rather emotionally invested in his viewpoints, which is why he gets all riled up and insults people when they disagree with his stance. Of course he tries to fake being nonchalant about the whole thing, but we arent blind to the emotion in his words.

Mature adults know how to get their point across without insulting someone. As it stands, guys like him only have big mouths on the internet. They wouldnt be caught dead in public trying to berate someone this way.

Again with the standard vaginal shaming. Goes both ways bro.

Ah fvck, I forgot about that saying, "Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Good day sir, hope to not see you preach your opinions on this thread any more.

Its funny...he calls people disagreeing with him "whining" (or he makes other ad hominem arguments). How can he not see that what he does much of the time, many people would see as whining and childish shaming tactics. Again I say, its very easy for one to get their point across bluntly without stooping down to the level of immature insults.

 

[PlayHer Man]

Again with the standard vaginal shaming. Goes both ways bro.

Ah fvck, I forgot about that saying, "Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Good day sir, hope to not see you preach your opinions on this thread any more.

Good job making yourself look like an overly sensitive faggot.

If you live your life by "sayings" its no wonder you're clueless. Keep reading my posts.. maybe you'll learn a few things.

Its usually from the bitter immature lot, that we see the word faggot being thrown at men who dare want to enjoy a committed relationship. How childish is it that when one cannot handle that people have a difference of opinion they lash out at them.

Clearly Playher Man is rather emotionally invested in his viewpoints, which is why he gets all riled up and insults people when they disagree with his stance. Of course he tries to fake being nonchalant about the whole thing, but we arent blind to the emotion in his words.

Mature adults know how to get their point across without insulting someone. As it stands, guys like him only have big mouths on the internet. They wouldnt be caught dead in public trying to berate someone this way.

I just don't respect men who talk like 15 year old girls and whine about people who "say mean things".

Grow up, stop crying and spin plates.. OR shut the f*ck up.

 

[Decoy]

Again with the standard vaginal shaming. Goes both ways bro.

Ah fvck, I forgot about that saying, "Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience." Good day sir, hope to not see you preach your opinions on this thread any more.

It's normal for you to want committed and loyal relationship, especially if you have never had one before. Women your age change, they want shiny new things. Women redefine commitment and loyalty over the course of the relationship. It's female imperative, accept it and understand that all relationships have a shelf life.