I built it, they didn't come

[patb]

All these titles... "Black pill", "fakecell", "mgtow". How about let the guy make the decision that works for him without ascribing a label to it.

The labeling can be a bit much. But it's telling that he claims to be anti-MGTOW, despite substantially matching them descriptively. It's like I said earlier -- obsessive aversion to associating with low status groups and beliefs blinds men to the truth, even about themselves. It's really the male hamster in action.

 

[patb]

Interesting. It appears way more men than women are autistic. Still, only about 3% of men are autistic. However, there is probably a disproportionate amount on these forums. Nevertheless, being socially "normal" in and of itself is not sufficient to get laid a lot. You're going to need more than that.

It may not be sufficient, but it's close to necessary (depending on how you define "a lot"). Especially earlier in life (school), when you have to contend with a lot of social gatekeepers that can shut you out of the game entirely if they deem you 'uncool.'

 

[corrector]

The labeling can be a bit much. But it's telling that he claims to be anti-MGTOW, despite substantially matching them descriptively. It's like I said earlier -- obsessive aversion to associating with low status groups and beliefs blinds men to the truth, even about themselves. It's really the male hamster in action.

People who are unclouded by their egos can see a spade for a spade. Sometimes labelling helps get at the root of the issue.

First of all, it shows that someone's new thread or complaint is not a new thing, but it's a common established pattern, even a dated one that's been around for quite a while. Secondly it can provoke a response in a strong way.

You want to have a discussion that gets to the root of the issue and the truth, especially on a thread that is critical about self-improvment and saying it does not work (ie the title of the thread itself?). Otherwise, it's just venting, pity-party and expecting a pat on the shoulder saying "I hear you bro, life is unfair and you deserve better" without dealing with anything. In this case labelling seems to cut through the bs.

 

[SW15]

being socially "normal" in and of itself is not sufficient to get laid a lot. You're going to need more than that.

You're correct. Being "socially normal" is not going to get a man laid. There are many socially normal beta males out there who struggle to get laid and struggle to get girlfriends. A lot of married beta males who are socially normal are in dead bedroom, sexless marriages.

Game is a combination of looks, money, status, and charisma.

It appears way more men than women are autistic. Still, only about 3% of men are autistic. However, there is probably a disproportionate amount on these forums.

The SoSuave forum is not a representative sample of men. Men who participate on SoSuave forums are more passionate than most men about attracting, seducing, and having sex. That leads to a few different subgroups of men being on SoSuave.

The typical beta male isn't participating on SoSuave forums. Most married guys aren't here. Guys who have strong social circle options aren't here either.

In real life, no one's social circle is a representative sample.

 

[corrector]

Just to make one correction. I have seen redpillers use or advise to use escorts in the following scenarios:

1) some have used this occassionally after a bad breakup or divorce
2) to break a dry spell if dumpster diving does not work
3) to demystify sex so it does not feel intimidating to approach.

The normal reaction is to feel terrible you felt you had to go there and use that bad feeling to motivate you to self improve to meet women who genuinely like you. It is incorrect to say all redpillers have never used an escort in any circumstance.

We all have been in hard places but moving on and going to the next level is different than having a comfort zone and cope that becomes a crutch.

 

[allergictobs]

We all have been in hard places but moving on and going to the next level is different than having a comfort zone and cope that becomes a crutch.

I think you are viewing this very differently from the way I see it (and you should probably accept that people can view things differently).

I have accepted that I didn't succeed in the dating game, for whatever reason. I mean, I'm soon 40 years old and it would require almost a miracle to find a much younger woman who would want to date me long-term.

So I look at it like this: I will probably be sexually active for many years to come and I can either
a) have sex with lingerie models, go on vacations and spend unforgettable moments with them
b) not use escorts and hope that I get lucky occasionally (which, given my lifestyle is extremely rarely)
Which of these two scenarios leads to more happiness? I guess it depends on the person.

Now, I haven't completely stopped playing the dating game, but I have stopped actively pursuing women because it is very unproductive. I will only approach someone if the situation arises naturally and there are signs of attraction. If I didn't see escorts, I might be much more nervous in a situation like that (because men tend to be that way if they rarely get laid).

So in essence, I have separated sex life from the dating game. I think it is somewhat similar to a FWB situation.

 

[pipeman84]

So I look at it like this: I will be sexually active for many years to come and I can either
a) have sex with lingerie models, go on vacations and spend unforgettable moments with them

This is the part I don't get ... how can you go on vacations and whatever when you know that it's all fake? How can you keep a straight face and feel fulfilled going through this charade?
I mean, you can buy sex, and I agree with you, no point in wasting time with OLD and subpar women on there when you can get straight to the business with a good looking escort.
But one can't buy love and affection.

 

[corrector]

I think it is somewhat similar to a FWB situation.

Okay so you are a happy camper MGTOW. You just said that you did not succeed at dating and you are pursuing happiness by seeing escorts. Sounds MGTOW to me.

Someone with just FBWs can be arguably a MGTOW also. Did you think MGTOWS are sad? Or perhaps you are confusing monk-mode MGTOWS with MGTOWS?

 

[allergictobs]

This is the part I don't get ... how can you go on vacations and whatever when you know that it's all fake?

I'm really starting to think that you guys are not able to separate love and sex/intimacy? I'm not buying love or affection - it is purely sex and good company (many of them are actually good conversationalists). It's almost like going on a vacation with a friend - you eat dinner in nice places, occasionally do fun stuff, tell jokes etc. and have sex.

Also, no one is going on a vacation with anyone they haven't met many times beforehand. So at that point they are already like a friend.

 

[allergictobs]

Okay so you are a happy camper MGTOW. You just said that you did not succeed at dating and you are pursuing happiness by seeing escorts. Sounds MGTOW to me.

Someone with just FBWs can be arguably a MGTOW also. Did you think MGTOWS are sad? Or perhaps you are confusing monk-mode MGTOWS with MGTOWS?

I don't have a strong view on these labels and maybe I am confusing some terms. I'm under the impression that MGTOWs typically seek to live a life without women, and I know that I'm not like that. If a woman I like shows interest, I'm asking her out and I'm willing to make changes to my lifestyle to make a relationship work.

But these labels don't matter to me that much, I'm not a person who particularly wants to belong to any group. I'm just trying to live life the best way I can.

 

[corrector]

I don't have a strong view on these labels and maybe I am confusing some terms. I'm under the impression that MGTOWs typically seek to live a life without women, and I know that I'm not like that.

You are confusing monk mode MGTOW with MGTOW.

If a woman I like shows interest, I'm asking her out and I'm willing to make changes to my lifestyle to make a relationship work.

You are spening too much time with escorts and planning to take them on vacation and are saying you are pursuing happiness.
Suppose you met such a woman while you are on vacation? You have enough time for a vacation, but not enough time to meet women for dating? Something doesn't add up here because you are taking yourself out of the dating market by seeing these escorts and then complaining that you are not meeting women.

By the way, how do you think a prospective women, who does genuinely like you will feel if she knew you were seeing escorts that frequently, taking them on vacations and was proud about that? You realize you'll basically have to lie throughout the whole relationship. 2-3 years into the marriage when things get stale, you have the stress of raising a child and get tired of her nagging you, that you'll likely cheat on her since you are so used to doing it now. What's even more bizzare, is you are just continuing this lifestyle and just think a new woman would be cool with that?

But these labels don't matter to me that much, I'm not a person who particularly wants to belong to any group. I'm just trying to live life the best way I can.

It does not really matter if you want to belong to a particular group or not or if a label matters or does not matter with you because you are not outside the context of how you are presenting yourself. At this point labelling is a mode of discussion to try and get to the bottom of you. It's like saying, I like biking, so I'm a cyclist and then I get on the defensive saying, I don't like being called a cyclist because that's a label. Likewise, you have established a truth concering what you want, what you are looking for, and what makes you happy. But why would you be on the defenisve when a label is brought up that brings up other people who think the same way that you do?

 

[momentomori]

Interesting to watch this play out. A guy comes to a logical conclusion about the dating market and starts living a life that suits him, but people start creeping out of the woodwork to shame him to put him right back on the plantation.

 

[corrector]

Interesting to watch this play out. A guy comes to a logical conclusion about the dating market and starts living a life that suits him, but people start creeping out of the woodwork to shame him to put him right back on the plantation.

You are MGTOW too.

 

[corrector]

This is the third or fourth time in a row I broke my own no-fap no-porn thing today. It looks like any discussion of escorts are bewitching. It's like a trigger word in and of itself. You know, I got the location of like 6 different incalls, can just literally drive out and visit an escort (average drive is less than 12 minutes away, and cost is at least $ 80/ hh), and then I went hey-wire lookign at escort pics and ended up fapping on the whole thing. Now I feel sick. This is the third time today and frankly I don't think I can't handle discussions involving escorts without it turning into a fap session. The idea that some or most people actually visit escorts and don't get demon possessed afterwards is playing with my mind and making it more comfortable for me to fap at them. I almost got possessed when I saw one in 2014 and since then I stay away from them.

Even if I feel sick about it, but at least I know it's on the other side of the computer screen and nothing happened. It's easier to move on and get back to my life when it's on the other side of a screen and has no connection with me. But I don't want to go there again because I wasted my time. I could have watched a movie instead of this.

 

[patb]

This is the part I don't get ... how can you go on vacations and whatever when you know that it's all fake? How can you keep a straight face and feel fulfilled going through this charade?
I mean, you can buy sex, and I agree with you, no point in wasting time with OLD and subpar women on there when you can get straight to the business with a good looking escort.
But one can't buy love and affection.

Love and affection is entirely conditional from women, bought with cash or not.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

More power to you man, I could never bring myself to do that.

Pay someone to feign interest in me? Nope.

I'm really starting to think that you guys are not able to separate love and sex/intimacy? I'm not buying love or affection - it is purely sex and good company (many of them are actually good conversationalists). It's almost like going on a vacation with a friend - you eat dinner in nice places, occasionally do fun stuff, tell jokes etc. and have sex.

Also, no one is going on a vacation with anyone they haven't met many times beforehand. So at that point they are already like a friend.

 

[FlirtLife]

Regarding sex life, I have realized that the best sex I (or most men) will ever have is with high-end escorts. The best ones have a model-tier body and treat you very nicely. They are very expensive and I've started to think that I'm lucky to afford them regularly. It's not always easy to meet the one I like the most because she lives in a different city, but I try to meet her or another one once a week for a few hours of private time. Sometimes go on a mini-vacation with her.

The most important thing I've realized over the past couple of years about women and dating is that most women are not that interested in men (Aaron Clarey has talked about this a lot recently). It is clearly visible now at work with many women remaining single in their 30s and 40s. Some of them have had children, but dumped the guy afterwards.

First off, this is my favorite thread title - especially when I view the last part as innuendo.

I've been reading one of Mr Clarey's books, but "talked ... recently" suggests he's online somewhere? If you have book suggestions or where I can find him online, feel free to PM me to avoid a tangent in this thread.

Focusing on your schedule, when do you have time for women? I mean this literally - that if you don't make room in your schedule, they can't come into your schedule. You might need to find time and a place where your odds of meeting women go up.

A random suggestion : would you consider joining a yoga class? That might compliment your gym workout, and you'll hopefully be around fit women who share an interest in exercise. Seeing how you approach life, I'm assuming you wouldn't spend every class trying to hit on a new woman, but would instead let them approach you (which I say to head off other people's replies more than speaking to you).

 

[corrector]

Love and affection is entirely conditional from women, bought with cash or not.

Only feigned love and affection is bought by cash. Real love and affection not so much.

 

[patb]

Only feigned love and affection is bought by cash. Real love and affection not so much.

I would contend the line between the two is blurry at best.

 

[allergictobs]

Love and affection is entirely conditional from women, bought with cash or not.

Yes, the only persons who are capable of loving you unconditionally are your parents.

With everyone else, affection is ultimately transactional - people like you for being funny/high status/good-looking/industrious etc. As soon as you stop displaying something that made people like you, people leave.

And here's the thing: displaying desirable traits is directly connected to wealth and status. Wealth buys you freedom, which leads to better health, self-care, interesting hobbies, events etc.

And yes, friendships are still true friendships (or as true as they can be). It's just that people want to be with other people who are on the same level. It's the game of life, where we all unconsiously want to be associated with people who are similar to ourselves or better.

Some women, for example, only want to spend time with high status men because they view themselves worthy. High status men behave in a certain way, talk about different topics than low status men etc. Some only want to spend time with people who are fit and work out.

Imagine two scenarios:
1) Ask a friend to go on a skiing trip with you. Both pay their own share and spend time frugally. In general, there is hesitation to go on a trip like that.
2) Ask a friend to go on a skiing trip with you, your treat. You pay for an upper class hotel, promise nice dinners and fun time. See their face light up, with a big smile they instantly like you more (genuinely even). Now you are a fun person with a nice lifestyle, instantly more attractive to 99% of people.

I didn't invent this, it's how the world works.