How to protect a child from society's cultural influence?

[DJDamage]

If you are ever going to have a child or already have a child what steps would you take in order for the child to grow and be the "best that he can be" (in a DJ way) without society own matrix influencing your kid and turning him into what they want him to be.

Can you really protect a child and place a so called "bubble" around him? or once he is out of the womb there is nothing that can stop his assimilation to the masses and its just a matter of time.

 

[Sir Juanalot]

The only thing i would reccomend is to teach him/her to question everything he/she is told, and don't take it all at face value.

 

[djSlvt]

Kids learn by watching parents. Thus be yourself and do things together with your kids. I don't mean buy a kite and fly it together, take him with you and let him see you interact.


That is his experience. You still have to teach him how to think properly.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Expose them to the world; the good and the bad. Teach them not to judge, just accept that all people are different. Inspire them to spend wisely, to seek balance and to live richly. And finally, be their role model. You have that ability, don't waste it.

 

[Jariel]

The only thing i would reccomend is to teach him/her to question everything he/she is told, and don't take it all at face value.

I agree 100% with that Socratic way of thinking and believe it's the only way to learn. Unfortunately, there are way too many institutions, including the school system, that punish people for thinking this way.

I lost count of the times I was told:

"It just is"
"Because I say so"
"Because if you don't believe you go to hell"
"Stop answering back"
"Stop disrupting my class and go stand in the hall"

Sadly times haven't changed much from what I can gather.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Spend time with the child and teach him/her.

Find a good mother who will teach the right lessons.

Move to a different society. Somewhere more south. Latin America is pretty okay for now.

 

[Bonez]

Ask your kid questions, ask them questions that make them think.

 

[PureFlow]

Lock them in a cage, or find a different planet.

Edit:

Don't send them to a public school (how to create obedient consumer zombies)
Don't let them watch television (only good movies)
Be rich, elite, have good taste and morality, and tell them that 99% of the world are idiots (which is true)
Read books (good ones)

 

[Wyldfire]

I have 4 kids ages 21, 18, 16 and 7. None of my kids do drugs, commit crimes, drink, smoke or run wild. The most significant cultural/society issue we've faced is that my 18 year old son's girlfriend had a pregnancy scare. It turned out she was never pregnant, though. She has some health issues and the doctor claims that the false positive tests and missed period were related to those issues.

I've also essentially raised my children on my own, and based on how good my kids are I've done things right. Here is the basic parenting concept I live by:

1. Parents make mistakes...when I make a mistake I own it right away, admit it to my kids, apologize if warranted, and talk about it.

2. Instill strong morals and values in your kids...talk about everything that matters...and YOU must live by the same morals and values you stress as being important to your kids. You can't raise drug free kids if you do drugs.

3. Start early in teaching your children how to make decisions with confidence. Make as many things as possible about them making choices...even if it's over which shirt they wear when they are 2 years old.

4. Teach responsibility from the second they can understand ideas...like these are your toys and it's up to you to take good care of them and keep them picked up when you are done with them.

5. Teach generosity, kindness, respect, standing up for what is right...to not only each other but also to THEMSELVES. Make sure they know that they should not allow people to treat them like crap.

6. Teach them never to throw the first punch, but if someone strikes them, teach them to throw the last punch.

7. Never lie, cheat, steal or do ANYTHING you would punish your child for doing.

8. Talk TO you child, not AT them...listen, hear, include them in important decision making.

9. Your goal should always be to prepare your children to be able to handle life as an adult...give them the tools to solve problems, make choices and decisions with confidence, communicate, resolve conflicts and just manage their life successfully. Start them saving money and being responsible as soon as they can talk and get birthday money, etc.

10. Teach practical and useful things so your kid knows how to handle their money, pay bills, find a place to live, care for car, run their errands, do their taxes, etc, etc, etc.

11. Teach them to love themselves and identify their strengths and use them.

There's a lot more...but those are a good start.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

As much time as a child spends out in the "world", they spend even more time at home, amongst family.

 

[DJDamage]

Lots of good points were raised in this thread. The one common theme I see been raised is the amount of time spend with a child and the kind of bond you have with him. The thing is how on earth can you compete with the world while having a full time job and seeing your kid for only 3-4 hours before they go to bed? I mean if we had all the time in the world we can influence and make a great human being. But since we are often tied down to our jobs and expenses, we let schools television and their peers raise our children.

The thing I also see with regards to children that beside technology making the child more isolated and depended on, the roles of wives have changed over the years. It used to be that the father wen't to work and the mother would be the housewife and raise the child. With today the world being the way it is, mothers also work and they rather hire a babysitter/cleaner/cook to take care of the baby because she has more "important" things to do. I really feel as if the bond between a child and a mother (and I mean a good mother not those baby mama's who think about themsleves only) in the early age of development is important one and once the child grows up and stop being a child that is when the father should become more involve and teach the teenager (son) to take more responsibility, that life is not all about fun and games and only you can be the man you want to be.

 

[CCKazi007]

If you are ever going to have a child or already have a child what steps would you take in order for the child to grow and be the "best that he can be" (in a DJ way) without society own matrix influencing your kid and turning him into what they want him to be.

Can you really protect a child and place a so called "bubble" around him? or once he is out of the womb there is nothing that can stop his assimilation to the masses and its just a matter of time.

Move out of the U.S. first, cuz the people here a messed up and then getting rid of ALL THE TVs in your household. Actually just kidding it's mostly the same with all countries.

Make sure that your strict but loving parent and make sure you teach your kids good morals and responsibility. All kids are going to get influenced by their friends, so should you homeschool them? No there's more cons to homeschooling. Example would be the kid won't learn social skillz and won't fit in once he goes off to highschool or college. If you educate him right, give him space when he's old enough and if he has a good group of friends. Then he'll stay out of trouble, because he already learnt to be responsible. All kids will eventually grow up to become adults, if the kid is mature then he won't have any problem making the right decisions. The parent, especially the father plays a key role in the kid's life since that's the only masculine-role model the kid has growing up. Most serial killers and psychopaths come from broken homes where the father beat the mother or left the family.

No offence, but I wouldn't take advice from Wyldfire she's a single mother who supports her kids getting married at 17 or 18. Which is extremely stupid, since the kid won't be able to go to college if he starts a family.

 

[Wyldfire]

Why shouldn't people listen to me about raising kids? Being that I probably have more parenting experience than anyone else here I certainly am qualified.

My son is 18 and loves his girlfriend (who treats him well) and he told her he wanted to get married IN THE FUTURE before the pregnancy scare. He's an adult and I raised him to think for himself and make his own decisions. Yes, he was going to get married earlier than he had planned if he was going to be a father. It turned out that she was never pregnant and they didn't get married and are still going to wait. I'm glad for that because I didn't want them to get married so young. I was 100% supportive of him taking responsibility for any child he helped make, though. He knows what it feels like when a father is unreliable, doesn't support his kids and behaves like an idiot. He expects better than that from himself. There's nothing wrong with that...personal responsibility is probably THE most admirable trait a person can have.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Why shouldn't people listen to me about raising kids? Being that I probably have more parenting experience than anyone else here I certainly am qualified.

My son is 18 and loves his girlfriend (who treats him well) and he told her he wanted to get married IN THE FUTURE before the pregnancy scare.

Your son and "his girl" are what is wrong with the young minds today! You get married first then have sex/children!! There is no such thing as a "pregnancy scare" - pregnancy is what happens when you have sex -- why is it scary? Oh yeah - they are not committed to one another and the child will grow up without the father - as is happening by the millions today!!! These young girls horing today are destroying our society by having "unwanted" children born in lust and not through a responsible marriage!!

Four things that destroy boys who eventually become men - 1. hors 2. Drugs 3. Gambling 4.Ignorance

Instill values in your children - which breeds good character! If they stray from your guidance then you are not responsible!!

 

[Wyldfire]

Your son and "his girl" are what is wrong with the young minds today! You get married first then have sex/children!! There is no such thing as a "pregnancy scare" - pregnancy is what happens when you have sex -- why is it scary? Oh yeah - they are not committed to one another and the child will grow up without the father - as is happening by the millions today!!! These young girls horing today are destroying our society by having "unwanted" children born in lust and not through a responsible marriage!!

Four things that destroy boys who eventually become men - 1. hors 2. Drugs 3. Gambling 4.Ignorance

Instill values in your children - which breeds good character! If they stray from your guidance then you are not responsible!!

1. His girlfriend gets birth control shots. I sat them BOTH down and gave the condom talk to them after the scare.

2. She has health issues that require daily medication. Apparently one of the side effects can cause her period to be erratic and false positive pregnancy tests. It took about 10 tests and an ultrasound to figure out that she wasn't actually pregnant.

3. They are committed...which is why they were going to get married earlier than they plan. They were ALREADY engaged when they believed she was pregnant...which is why they were going to get married.

4. My son was not only 100% willing to be a father and do right by his child, he was actually even happy about the idea of being a father.

My son and his girlfriend's situation and their attitudes don't match your rant about making babies and not taking responsibility. They were both prepared to take responsibility. They still plan on getting married...just not until they are older.

A "pregnancy scare" is a term used to describe a possible UNPLANNED pregnancy and the decisions those involved are faced with as a result. My son and his girlfriend actually handled the situation VERY maturely and would have kept the baby and raised it if she had of actually been pregnant.

Since she is on birth control they weren't expecting an unplanned pregnancy and in the end, there wasn't one. It was just a false positive caused by medication interactions, or something to that effect.

 

[Wyldfire]

Lol, TRUTH!

See, Wyldfire is blind to her own flaws. And the biggest mistake that she forgot in her whole checklist is that YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

By choosing to be a single mom dating ex-cons...is it any wonder why her son followed suit and almost knocked up his 17-yo gf as well?

Look, if a woman wants to be a good parent - she has to first wisely select a good daddy and hubby that will last together with her. This starts before the kid is even born. If they don't want their kids to do drugs, then they shouldn't be doing them either when they're young. You should live your entire life to the standard that you want to hold your kids to.

Is that easy? No. But should you expect your kids to behave in their lives "better" than you did? Sorry, but "do what I say, not what I do" is extremely hypocritical and poorly enforceable. The amount of leverage you have to get your kids to exercise better judgment...is directly proportional to the degree of better judgment you exercised in your own life. You set the standard.

You are such an idiot...really, you are. It's quite ironic that you call into question my ability as a parent and imply something is wrong with my son for actually being prepared to act like a MAN and take responsibility for a child IF he helped make one. Who are you to judge? Your parents quite obviously did a HORRIBLE job raising you because all you ever do is blame, blame, blame. You are a perpetual victim whose only apparent purpose in life is to cry and moan over how big of a victim you are. None of my kids have problems in their relationships. My sons have never had girl problems and my daughter has a great boyfriend who is actually a very good person, treats her with respect, etc. None of my kids have ever been such a failure with the opposite sex that they had to seek out advice and help online. Apparently I did a much better job than YOUR parents did with you.

 

[wayword]

My sons have never had girl problems and my daughter has a great boyfriend who is actually a very good person, treats her with respect, etc. None of my kids have ever been such a failure with the opposite sex that they had to seek out advice and help online.

LMAO - so an 18-yo slacker who isn't working or in school but is planning on marrying his 17-yo gf whom he almost knocked up soon...doesn't have "girl problems?"

I'd say that's a HUGE girl problem and maybe HE'S the one in your fam who needs to be on this site - not YOU.

Yea, great job with your relationships and kids there! What an awesome role model you've been! :crackup:

 

[Wyldfire]

LMAO - so an 18-yo slacker who isn't working or in school but is planning on marrying his 17-yo gf whom he almost knocked up soon...doesn't have "girl problems?"

I'd say that's a HUGE girl problem and maybe HE'S the one in your fam who needs to be on this site - not YOU.

Yea, great job with your relationships and kids there! What an awesome role model you've been! :crackup:

What on earth are you talking about? He does have a job and did at the time. He does maintenance for apartment buildings...odd jobs...snow removal, painting, etc. He was going to try to find a different job with good benefits, though. Gotta love how you bash both me and now my son about things that aren't even true, lmao.

Furthermore...a person's job and schooling has NOTHING to do with their ability to be successful with the opposite sex. Those are just things that weenies like you use as an excuse why women don't want you. The fact of the matter is this...YOUR problem is your attitude, negativity and penchant for whining and blaming others. Here's a clue wayword...NO ONE likes being around people who are as negative as you are. That's the bottom line.

No, my son doesn't need to be here. He has a girlfriend who absolutely adores him and treats him great. In fact, he's always had girls chasing him ever since he was about 12 years old. He is happy. He's not insecure at all. He's very confident, in fact. He's not clingy or pushy either. He's never pined away over a girl and has never made a girl the center of his existence. I taught all my kids that girlfriends and boyfriends don't complete you...they compliment who you already are.

Your parents clearly NEVER taught you responsibility or manners. Sorry bub, but you are in NO position to call me or anyone else into question on this subject.

 

[CCKazi007]

Why shouldn't people listen to me about raising kids? Being that I probably have more parenting experience than anyone else here I certainly am qualified.

My son is 18 and loves his girlfriend (who treats him well) and he told her he wanted to get married IN THE FUTURE before the pregnancy scare. He's an adult and I raised him to think for himself and make his own decisions. Yes, he was going to get married earlier than he had planned if he was going to be a father. It turned out that she was never pregnant and they didn't get married and are still going to wait. I'm glad for that because I didn't want them to get married so young. I was 100% supportive of him taking responsibility for any child he helped make, though. He knows what it feels like when a father is unreliable, doesn't support his kids and behaves like an idiot. He expects better than that from himself. There's nothing wrong with that...personal responsibility is probably THE most admirable trait a person can have.

Experiance means jack sh*t if your doing it WRONG, what proof you have that your a good parent? Your 18 year old kid and his 17 year old girl friend who's don't know SAFE SEX, which is like common sense. So was it a planned pregnancy? NO, that means the pregnancy was a mistake meaning they didn't have SAFE SEX. After that you said you were supporting his decision to have a kid when he's 18, while his gf was probably still in HIGHSCHOOL... wow ya that's def good parenting... he doesn't even know safe sex and you expect him take care of another kid. A good parent WOULD HAVE STEPPED in and told the BOY to get his head straight and that he won't get a decent job if he doesn't go to college. The girlfriend who's 17 should have gotten an abortion, since being pregant meant she had to miss highschool and she would have to take care of the baby after that. But no since your such a good parent you decide to just sit on your ass and watch.

 

[MuayThai]

1. His girlfriend gets birth control shots. I sat them BOTH down and gave the condom talk to them after the scare.

Do you want your son to get laid? hahaha

"condom talk" hahaha Why not just get some baby photos out whilst you're at it.

As for Op's question.

You can home school them, but it'll mean they'll be "out of the loop" with other children.@Some kids find it fine and have lots of friends, some don't.

I think best of all is to make you kid feel like home is his/her place, and consequentially gets judged by people at home, and not by kids and others out side.