how to make normal men approach me ?

[ive]

hey guys, debating further makes no sense i do not feel badly accepted at all, on the contrary - got some very useful advice and thank you for your attention. i did send my photos to a user in the forum, who seemed like a normal person, he gave nice suggestions. it is hard for a woman to judge her attractiveness, because for me an attractive woman is someone with good skin, good face, good body. for men a "hot" woman is how interested in attracting sex she is.
so i might be <6 by male standards, hard to say as i definitely dont go out of my way to look sexual.

 

[backbreaker]

LOL. bb you need to tell me where all these poor, lonely cute but single women are because I sure as hell can't find any.

i'll give you a perfect example

the NA meeting that i go to on a regular basis there are about 90-100 people in the group all together that are there on a regular basis.

there are off the top of my head, 7 girls in the group that are what i would deem ****able.

4 of the girls are married. one of the girls that are married is married to a guy in the group, guy is like 50 years old, he got smart and plucked one of the cute girls out of the batch instead of aiming too high.

1 of the girls is a legit 9.5. damn near flawless. 24 years old.

so that leaves 2 girls. one i would rate a 6.5 and one i would rate a 7.

the 9.5 gets ALL the attention. like if everyone is outside talking after a meeting no one gives a **** what the 7 has to say. everyone wants to talk to the 9.5. in particular beucse she's single. she sucks all the attention away from the other 2 ****able girls. and **** to make matters worse the 7 really has her **** together. she's about to graduate college, she's smart, she has a nice rack and everything. she's very nice whereas the 9.5 is a bit of a **** because she knows she's a 9.5. no one cares.

that's how it works in the real world.

in fact i would take it a step further and i was actually going to start a new thread about this but i will just post it here, but you can pretty much sum up the AFC's problem as one, in that he thinks he deserves better than what he can get. That was y problem when i came here, i wanted a 9 when i could get a 7. you have guys who pine after a 7.5 but can really only pull a 4 or a 5.

for all the talk about being a DJ you really only have 2 options... alter your expections or become a better catch. I became a better catch. The old dude tha tmarried the cute girl in group altered his expections and i mean hey she isn't my type but she's not ugly.

The AFC who can't get a girl usually is ignoraing the girls he can get beucase he doesn't want them

 

[zekko]

Sorry OP, but i don't buy the whole "no-one is interested in me" jibe. you have a lot of male friends right. By sheer probability they'll be at least one guy in the 'platonic' group of friends who wouldn't hesitate to "see if you could be more than friends".

If she's in Eastern Europe though, there's more of a chance that she could get overlooked. The obesity epidemic is what has skewed things so badly in the US.

I agree that if the OP has a lot of male friends, chances are good that one of them is probably harboring some interest in her. She should take a good look around and turn on the charm a bit. This is a quote from an article that I posted in another thread:

"Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends."

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=men-and-women-cant-be-just-friends

i do not feel badly accepted at all, on the contrary - got some very useful advice and thank you for your attention

Honestly, this is probably the nicest I've ever seen the guys treat a woman on this forum. Usually girls are attacked and harassed here. It helps that you haven't come here trying to act like a know it all.

for all the talk about being a DJ you really only have 2 options... alter your expections or become a better catch.

This doesn't get said enough here. There is a lot of talk about improvement, but expectations are out of control. It seems like most of the guys here don't want to settle for anything less than a dime piece. Which is okay if you just want to bang her, I guess.

But take that 9.5 you were talking about, how every guy in the place is all over her. Even if she were married it wouldn't be any different. Do you really want to live with a room full of guys macking on her on a daily basis? I know I'd get sick of that really quick, not to mention what all that attention does to her attitude. Like you said, she acts like a b!tch just because she knows she can. And she'll still have the room full of guys on her.

 

[backbreaker]

But take that 9.5 you were talking about, how every guy in the place is all over her. Even if she were married it wouldn't be any different. Do you really want to live with a room full of guys macking on her on a daily basis? I know I'd get sick of that really quick, not to mention what all that attention does to her attitude. Like you said, she acts like a b!tch just because she knows she can. And she'll still have the room full of guys on her.

lol i mean my wife's not chopped liver. from a pure physical standpoint it's not even that she's hotter than my wife she's more exotic. this is the half Cherokee girl i was talking about in the other thread, she's a hot you don't see everyday and it drives guys crazy. my wife gets hit on quite often when we are together. you just get used to it. like if we go to meeting or go out somewhere in a group and everyone is talking it's like all the guys are paying extra attention to what she is saying and she tells a ****ty joke and everyone laughs, she knows she's not funny lol. guys acting like they give a **** about her fav tv shows and ****.

she will have a room full of guys on her (the 9.5) but even if i were single i wouldn't give her the time of day. her attitude in combination with the fact she has a kid plus the fact that i dont' think she's done with drugs honestly i dont' care how hot she is.

the reason she's single is beucase she can't find a guy who she thinks is in her league that will date her. we've actually talked about this her and myself. the thing is, she could actually GET that guy, quite easily, even with the kid, if she would get her **** together and start taking her recovery seriously, stop dressing like a skank and stopped being such a ****. she is the type of hot thatw oudl be just as if not more hot in a business suit but she comes wearing these see through pants and **** trying to rile up the same guys that she doesn't want to date. guys who have been around the block see her behavior for what it is.

lol this broad has a mug that can make the best PUA do a double take, she makes herself unapproachable not beucase she is too hot but beucase she's a stuck up ****. then wonders why the guys she actually kinda likes don't talk to her or show the interest she thinks they should be showing. she gets attention from guys who dream of ****ing a girl that hot but guys that demand woman who are beatitufl, see her as too stuck on herself to deal with. she doesn't smile, she doesn't laugh, she's just takes herself way too seriously.

the thing is by the time she realizes all this she won't be a 9.5 anymore. she will always be good looking but she has like a 2-4 year window to really cash in right now

 

[PlayHer Man]

hey guys, debating further makes no sense i do not feel badly accepted at all, on the contrary - got some very useful advice and thank you for your attention. i did send my photos to a user in the forum, who seemed like a normal person, he gave nice suggestions.

I thought the stuff in BOLD above was funny. Generally when people say "normal person" they mean "Someone who will not bruise my ego or tell me something I don't want to hear".

That's the funny thing about people who ask for advice. They are usually not asking for REAL advice.. they are asking for validation. They want someone to tell them something they agree with.. regardless of if its true/right/helpful.

I see this all the time with friends and family who ask me for advice. If they don't agree with the advice they dismiss it. Then I say: "Why did you ask if you know better than me?" :crackup:

 

[The Duke]

I thought the stuff in BOLD above was funny. Generally when people say "normal person" they mean "Someone who will not bruise my ego or tell me something I don't want to hear".

That's the funny thing about people who ask for advice. They are usually not asking for REAL advice.. they are asking for validation. They want someone to tell them something they agree with.. regardless of if its true/right/helpful.

I see this all the time with friends and family who ask me for advice. If they don't agree with the advice they dismiss it. Then I say: "Why did you ask if you know better than me?" :crackup:

haha so true! its an epidemic in this country.

 

[ive]

yeah

 

[ive]

I thought the stuff in BOLD above was funny. Generally when people say "normal person" they mean "Someone who will not bruise my ego or tell me something I don't want to hear".

That's the funny thing about people who ask for advice. They are usually not asking for REAL advice.. they are asking for validation. They want someone to tell them something they agree with.. regardless of if its true/right/helpful.

I see this all the time with friends and family who ask me for advice. If they don't agree with the advice they dismiss it. Then I say: "Why did you ask if you know better than me?" :crackup:

there is truth to this - i admit, i would feel very uncomfortable being bashed and called ugly by strangers.

 

[zekko]

the reason she's single is beucase she can't find a guy who she thinks is in her league that will date her.

We know women like to date up. I don't believe in 10s, male or female. If she's really a 9.5, there is nobody for her to date up with, unless maybe she can land a celebrity.

 

[ive]

well i cant wink at guys for sure. eye contact and a smile is the most im eager to do
ok so for a year i had a severe crush on this guy (who is unfortunately married) but someone like him would be totally perfect for me. (just to mention that this guy was attracted to me, and multiple times has expressed interest, but obviously just for one thing, so it wouldnt be that far fetched for me to have a guy like that)
a guy who is very dedicated to his job, is very athletic, has a good job (if he is in computer science would be my dream, cause then we will have something to talk about), does not complain, is of high intelligence and has integrity and is not cold. also we have to have sexual chemistry. and it would be greaaat if he is warmer in temperament. these are lke the "general" stuff. of course if i could invent him he will like the authors i like and have similar musical tastes, not be too extraverted, because i find that kind of tiring, etc. but thats just unrealistic unfortunately. The guy i was crushed in was also extremely, 100% my type physically, but i guess this is also unrealistic to expect ...

 

[Alvafe]

I gonna call that out then, why ask for advice here? fi you are that afraid (over the internet to boot) for people tell waht they think, to take a real informed decision and you will need opnions of people, the better you can do is take the more hatefull ones and the more "goodies" ones mesh then up and see what is mentioned on both.

I do agree too the reason you are saying no one aproach you is or you are annoying who put most guys off, or are not counting the guys who really want to know and like you because "you don't want to lose the friendship" ro "you don't think that way"

edit for the last posts, are you at least athletic too? if not you are dreaming too high

 

[ive]

yes i am sporty. Well actually i DID get NICE and USEFUL advice here, but am tired of repeating that. I got great advice on how to improve my looks, my behavior and general strategies, where to look for men. i dont know what do u want from me ppl are just trolling cause i didnt post photos for everyone to judge me.
And i did send photos to a person that seemed very competent about this female ratings system in his posts - like "hb7.56438 and hb5.94582" and he told me his mind (i hope) about my flaws that can be fixed. No point of commenting on things that cant be fixed and just bringing a woman down with comments like - you must be deformed or repulsive. (women are also human). And today i tried to look nicer comming to work- dress better, hair blahblah, and my boss said "very nice". Althought that better not be the person who approaches me, cause then im in deep sh$t.



bradd, honestly i dont know if attraction is that illogical, all i know that for me pick up behavior is equal to creating fake attraction. because a person would naturally have this behavior with women, if he was successful with them, due to the fact that you can really take it or leave it if it is not this one will be another one etc- you have unlimited options. So by acting in a certain way the PUA immitates a successful man, who is liked by other women, however any woman with some common sense will be able to judge the truth. For example you cannot fake intelligence or educational level or healthy testosterone looks. So when i am in Bulgaria i can judge very very easily what is the "subgroup" of the person. is he from the province or from the capital, is he educated, where is he educated at etc. Most men in Bulgaria are masculine, dominant and outgoing, but that is not enough for me to consider them attractive. i have felt long term attraction for my boyfriend for many years, and this was partially due to him being liked by other women as well. this is the truth - you have to be a catch, you cant fake it, unless you want one night stands.

 

[backbreaker]

We know women like to date up. I don't believe in 10s, male or female. If she's really a 9.5, there is nobody for her to date up with, unless maybe she can land a celebrity.

well

1. she is a recovering drug addict. she's been clean almost a year now and she pretty, she didn't become smoking hot until she put it together once she cleaned up.

2. she does have a kid

so it's not like this has beens ome 10 year battle or something she's really just gotten out there.

hb7.56438

damn you took it there lol. this is how i'm going to start rating chicks

 

[Mike32ct]

We know women like to date up. I don't believe in 10s, male or female. If she's really a 9.5, there is nobody for her to date up with, unless maybe she can land a celebrity.

The difference between the guy's and girl's looks gets smaller as you go up the scale.

These are made-up numbers just to make a point...

A 7 guy might get a 6.0 female. (Delta = 1.0)

But an 8.5 guy might get a 7.8 female. (Delta = 0.7)

A 9.5 guy might get a 9.3 female. (Delta = 0.2)

It's not about dating on your level. That's a myth and oversimplification.

Reality is that the hotter you are as a guy, the CLOSER she will be to your level.

A guy low on the scale say 5.3 probably won't even get a 5.3. He can hope for a 4 at most.

The lower you are on the scale as a guy, the greater gap (or Delta) you are forced to accept.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I usually date 2 points up from my own looks (as I perceive them) but that's where experience and game comes in.

You need to learn to be a Svengali to reel them in and overcome the looks barrier. "Words" are to a woman what "looks" are to a man.

 

[Mike32ct]

I usually date 2 points up from my own looks (as I perceive them) but that's where experience and game comes in.

You need to learn to be a Svengali to reel them in and overcome the looks barrier. "Words" are to a woman what "looks" are to a man.

Great. I'm not familiar with his stuff, but would love to check it out.

I actually like verbal game.

Thanks.

 

[Warrior74]

LOL @ everyone one of you idiots for entertaining this foolishness. 3 pages of ghafla. This woman will not fvck me, nor can she give me advice. You are only whitenighting and ego stroking and putting down each other and for what? No return what so ever. Fools.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I note that "ive" has been carefully avoiding two very penitent questions that were posed to her by PlayHerMan and Atom Smasher: 1) Why do you have mostly male friends?; and 2) Why aren't you dating one of them? The OP is clearly not giving us the full story. Notice how she only mentions her positive qualities...I am friendly, I dress nice, I am of "normal weight" (whatever that means...) etc. I'm sure she is one of the 3.5 billion women on this planet who have no negative traits

 

[Alvafe]

I note that "ive" has been carefully avoiding two very penitent questions that were posed to her by PlayHerMan and Atom Smasher: 1) Why do you have mostly male friends?; and 2) Why aren't you dating one of them? The OP is clearly not giving us the full story. Notice how she only mentions her positive qualities...I am friendly, I dress nice, I am of "normal weight" (whatever that means...) etc. I'm sure she is one of the 3.5 billion women on this planet who have no negative traits

well if this is all true, first of its a woman over the internet she IS lying a lot with her story, second what she complains of make here be or she is ugly and no one care to hit on her, or she is the 6 who want the 9> guys, just note the way she said about the married guy, she have a whole fantasy done in her head, read it for amusiment and for what the people here will say, but don't hope for her(?) really change anything

 

[Atom Smasher]

Great. I'm not familiar with his stuff, but would love to check it out.

I actually like verbal game.

Thanks.

LOL, Svengali is a fictional literary character who hypnotized girls verbally. I don't think there's much to learn from him in the practical sense (the story is a bit campy) but the concept is very sound.

The older I get the more I realize the immense power of words planted into a conversation with a woman. Any kind of emotion-laden trigger word does the trick, but a man can learn to be unbelievably subtle in his application.

Probably the easiest and most obvious one is, "impressed". If you say "I'm impressed" with an air of seriousness as she's telling you something about herself, her emotional alarm bells will go off (in a good sense) and she will actually look for reasons to be impressed with you. Of course that's a very simplistic example and a man can learn to paint an entire world of rainbows and unicorns if he pays attention to this concept and uses it to his advantage.

Another example might be casually mentioning you spoke to your mom on her birthday, and listened to her reminisce for a while, or you took your sister out for her birthday. This is not using words, but rather painting a concept. A woman's heart melts big-time when you come off as caring for your mom or your sisters. It scores huge, huge points.

I know, I'm going off on tangents and totally departing from the intent of this thread. You guys really are great for putting up with my occasional penchant for wagging my tounge a little excessively.