How to Ask a Girl to Be Your G/F

[Remulak]

ok. just like the only way to know if she's interested in you is to sit and wait across the room for her to approach you and get YOUR number.

take the intiative and ask. waiting for her is chump behavior. chumps sit around faithfully hoping for her to act, hoping that all their hard work and time spent together will pay off sometime

My friend, when you're dating a girl you act with confidence and subtly hint at your interest without overt communication especially in the case given. You communicate through body language and such, this is the realm of female communication or covert communication. Declaring that you want her to be your girlfriend is surrendering the challenge that she deeply wants you to be. A woman interested in you will bring up the exclusive talk. In the case you gave, yes there's nothing wrong with approaching and getting her number.

 

[Raikojo17]

My friend, when you're dating a girl you act with confidence and subtly hint at your interest without overt communication especially in the case given through body language and such, this is the realm of female communication or covert communication. Declaring that you want her to be your girlfriend is surrendering the challenge that she deeply wants you to be. A woman interested in you will bring up the exclusive talk. In the case you gave, yes there's nothing wrong with approaching and getting her number.

i get where you're coming from. but it's still AFC to me to sit around and wait for her to act because you're afraid to. and yes you are afraid, because you think she'll reject you or say no. it's the same thing. when you like a girl and you're afraid, you sit around and hope that they will like you too and act first. likewise, if you want a girl to be your gf, you sit around and hope for her to act first because you are scared that she will lose interest or watever.

everyone like a challenge, girls especially, but being a challenge simply means not caving into her every whim and being her lapdog. it doesnt mean to give her no chance in hell.

from what you're saying, to act first is to not be a challenge. but still, saying yes to her asking would make you no longer a challenge too right? it's the same thing.

im saying if you want something, then go for it and dont sit around hoping it will come to you, because that will leave you alone in your room with your imaginary gf.

 

[bigjohnson]

You ask her out when you want to see her, and that's that. Even the idea that "you ask her out" might be going to far. Morelike you tell her what you're doing and invite her along.

 

[Serialized3]

i get where you're coming from. but it's still AFC to me to sit around and wait for her to act because you're afraid to. and yes you are afraid, because you think she'll reject you or say no. it's the same thing. when you like a girl and you're afraid, you sit around and hope that they will like you too and act first. likewise, if you want a girl to be your gf, you sit around and hope for her to act first because you are scared that she will lose interest or watever.

It's not quite like that, you basically treat her like you want her to be your gf but you never come right out and say it. Beautiful subtelty.

 

[bigjohnson]

Asking for reassurance (which is what we're taling about here) is a great way to show a lack of confidence. Buck up campers.

 

[Remulak]

i get where you're coming from. but it's still AFC to me to sit around and wait for her to act because you're afraid to. and yes you are afraid, because you think she'll reject you or say no. it's the same thing. when you like a girl and you're afraid, you sit around and hope that they will like you too and act first. likewise, if you want a girl to be your gf, you sit around and hope for her to act first because you are scared that she will lose interest or watever.

everyone like a challenge, girls especially, but being a challenge simply means not caving into her every whim and being her lapdog. it doesnt mean to give her no chance in hell.

from what you're saying, to act first is to not be a challenge. but still, saying yes to her asking would make you no longer a challenge too right? it's the same thing.

im saying if you want something, then go for it and dont sit around hoping it will come to you, because that will leave you alone in your room with your imaginary gf.

I absolutely agree you should go for what you want but you also need some restraint and broadcasting that you want her to be your girlfriend is just plain immature and showing her you're quick to jump the gun and weak-willed. Be fun, spontaneous, aggressive but when it comes to moving a relationship forward let the girl take care of that. You're using logic which makes sense because you're a guy, I assume but the truth is women want to have the steering wheel when it comes to progressing a relationship into exclusivity.

 

[Raikojo17]

I absolutely agree you should go for what you want but you also need some restraint and broadcasting that you want her to be your girlfriend is just plain immature and showing her you're quick to jump the gun and weak-willed. Be fun, spontaneous, aggressive but when it comes to moving a relationship forward let the girl take care of that. You're using logic which makes sense because you're a guy, I assume but the truth is women want to have the steering wheel when it comes to progressing a relationship into exclusivity.

how is it immature exactly? your jut being honest. all this advice you guys are posting sounds like it came straight out an AFC's mouth. kinda like those "all i have to do is be funny and i will have girls drooling for me" plans. instead of "all i have to do is be sexy and show my interest, then she will be more interested in me" plans. you're saying that showing you like her is bad.

you cant be aggressive and let someone else take the lead. being agressive and confident is straight up asking her, "do you wanna be my gf". you can ask that without looking like a wimp. it all depends on your state of mind and her attraction. if you dont feel confident then you will sound like a chump. if you're a confident strong-willed man who knows wat he wants and wants this girl all to himself, you will sound confident.

being confident is not caring about results. if she says no who cares. because what one girl wont do, another one will.

wat you guys are basically doing i protecting your fragile little hearts from the possiblity that she might not want to be your girl.

 

[Remulak]

In confident masculine voice:

"Hey we've been dating for awhile now and I think we should go steady, you should be my girlfriend."

In her mind:

"Wow, that's flattering...he must really like me so I should say yes! but why is he asking me this? Did I already conquer him? He must not have any other options and nobody else must want him. Ok don't laugh just agree for now because you don't want to be confrontational, tell him 'no' over the phone when you get home while I'm fycking Joe who doesn't try and tie me down with a relationship I mean shshh, doesn't he know that's my job?"

 

[Raikojo17]

In confident masculine voice:

"Hey we've been dating for awhile now and I think we should go steady, you should be my girlfriend."

In her mind:

"Wow, that's flattering...he must really like me so I should say yes! but why is he asking me this? Did I already conquer him? He must not have any other options and nobody else must want him. Ok don't laugh just agree for now because you don't want to be confrontational, tell him 'no' over the phone preferably text message when you get home while I'm fycking Joe who doesn't try and tie me down with a relationship I mean shshh, doesn't he know that's my job?"

total delusion.

you guys have been brainwashed by this site.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Ask her, "Where do you think this is going? Would you say we have a relationship?" That's what I did, and she says, 'we'll talk about it later.".

 

[bigjohnson]

Ask her, "Where do you think this is going? Would you say we have a relationship?" That's what I did, and she says, 'we'll talk about it later.".

Then she starts dating someone more interesting.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

No girl ever wanted to be my girlfriend, so why bother asking a girl if she's something that's a figment of my imagination, like a tooth fairy, elf, or some other mythical concept of bliss.

Nah, be honest. Ask her if she wants to be your personal tooth fairy instead of a girlfriend.

For some reason an elf/fairy has the same conceptual link to a gf. You think of a blonde girl dressed in linen near a waterfall waiting like some scene in lord of the rings.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

No girl ever wanted to be my girlfriend, so why bother asking a girl if she's something that's a figment of my imagination, like a tooth fairy, elf, or some other mythical concept of bliss.

Nah, be honest. Ask her if she wants to be your personal tooth fairy instead of a girlfriend.

For some reason an elf/fairy has the same conceptual link to a gf. You think of a blonde girl dressed in linen near a waterfall waiting like some scene in lord of the rings.

Gramps... you're babbling.

Did you forget to take your medication again?

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Gramps... you're babbling.

Did you forget to take your medication again?

Just reclaiming my status here as the most unluckiest guy on this whole board making every other people's problems on here look like a big joke. But maybe not, at least I dont have AIDS or am paying child support, things could be allot worst.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

But maybe not, at least I dont have AIDS or am paying child support, things could be allot worst.

That's true. You could be paraplegic.

 

[Interceptor]

]Do not, under any circumstances ask her "to be your girlfriend" or "go steady".

There is no point in time after Elementary school where two sexually active, mature adults use tha kind of language in a sexual, adult relationship.

Let her do the relationship managing, and you compromise or not.
Do not tell her you "like her" , or ermail, or write notes, or letters that you "think she's cool", etc.

Everything is Action. Everything is Implied. Everything is Body Language. Everything is Eye Contact.
The WAY you LOOK at her, the WAY you TOUCH her.
THAT IS HOW YOU TELL HER.
No letters. No phone conversations. No emails. No IMs.

You either talk sexy to her, or suggestively write to her, but do NOT do any kindergarten, Elemntary school BS, my friend.
You will wallow in sorrow for a long time for your AFC stupidity.

You're the man,
Let her be the woman.
Let her chase you, and convince you that SHE's worthy.

DOn't give up your power.

Let her find the right LEVEL for the both of you.


She doesn't want to be your Mama, or your Sister, or your Psychotherapist.
If anything, she wants you to be the leader, take charge, even be her "Daddy" in a way. But in "telling" her she's "neat", you act like Wimpus Chumpus, and give away your power, and look like a little kid that doesn't know how to act around WOMEN.
Don't dissapoint Ms. Right. DOn't let her down by showing her you really WERE an AFC after all. Don't do it, man. For everyone's sake.
Don't take away her initiative, and the fun of a challenge to get you , if she has high interest level.

Don't do it , man.

Let her find the right level.
That means, she DOES NOT WANT TO BE "EQUAL" to you. Nor does she want to be "above" you.

Do you understand?

Be a MATURE, masculine MALE. Let her do the FEMALE "stuff".
DON"T DECIDE FOR HER.


It's HER responsibility.

Period.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

]Do not, under any circumstances ask her "to be your girlfriend" or "go steady".

There is no point in time after Elementary school where two sexually active, mature adults use tha kind of language in a sexual, adult relationship.

Let her do the relationship managing, and you compromise or not.
Do not tell her you "like her" , or ermail, or write notes, or letters that you "think she's cool", etc.

Everything is Action. Everything is Implied. Everything is Body Language. Everything is Eye Contact.
The WAY you LOOK at her, the WAY you TOUCH her.
THAT IS HOW YOU TELL HER.
No letters. No phone conversations. No emails. No IMs.

You either talk sexy to her, or suggestively write to her, but do NOT do any kindergarten, Elemntary school BS, my friend.
You will wallow in sorrow for a long time for your AFC stupidity.

You're the man,
Let her be the woman.
Let her chase you, and convince you that SHE's worthy.

DOn't give up your power.

Let her find the right LEVEL for the both of you.


She doesn't want to be your Mama, or your Sister, or your Psychotherapist.
If anything, she wants you to be the leader, take charge, even be her "Daddy" in a way. But in "telling" her she's "neat", you act like Wimpus Chumpus, and give away your power, and look like a little kid that doesn't know how to act around WOMEN.
Don't dissapoint Ms. Right. DOn't let her down by showing her you really WERE an AFC after all. Don't do it, man. For everyone's sake.
Don't take away her initiative, and the fun of a challenge to get you , if she has high interest level.

Don't do it , man.

Let her find the right level.
That means, she DOES NOT WANT TO BE "EQUAL" to you. Nor does she want to be "above" you.

Do you understand?

Be a MATURE, masculine MALE. Let her do the FEMALE "stuff".
DON"T DECIDE FOR HER.


It's HER responsibility.

Period.

I'd reccomend that you make a thread on this, instead of hiding this post on the main page.

Put it in the tips section, its good.

 

[GamePlan]

if you want her, jus ask her. if she freezes up than she was never into you in the first place, not matter how you try to define it.

LET ME TELL YOU GUYS A STORY, PLEASE:

When I was 20 I got to know a girl. I wasn't into her that much in the beginning, but thought she was kinda good-looking and seemed to be nice. So we started dating. She was all over me. In the beginning I said something like I had never been in a relationship and that I was afraid to ever get into one (which was the truth) and she said something along the lines of 'we can work that out, can't we?'..or whatever.

She had always told me she had only wanted to see her former boyfriends like 3 or so times a week..more thant that would be too much for her. She was that kind of chick...

Then I stayed over at her house (we didn't even have sex, yet)..made out..fooling around blabla..we woke up the next day and had breakfast (her parents were gone) and she starts showing me where the friggin plates are saying: 'you better try to remember where they are. I'd like you to be here a lot more often in the future ))'.

She also said: 'I want this every single day from now on' (remember the type of girl who only wanted to see her boyfriends like 3 times a week blabla).

I remember walking home from her house to my home thinking to myself: "****..I don't even know if I wanna get with her and she's literally drooling over me as if we were a couple, yet"..it had me thinking like crazy until I decided I should be fair and give it a chance ;-).

Then my one friend keeps bothering me asking me if I'm together with that girl or what's going on between us (after he had seen us like 2-3 times). So I'm chatting with her on AIM as usual (THE SAME DAY I woke up at her house and she was drooling over me) and I tell her about my friend who asked me that question.

She says: "so what did you reply?"

Me: something along the lines of "I said, we weren't together, yet, but might be soon".

Her: Oh...so what makes you think that? I don't know about that, yet.

And from that point one she would only have time like once every 10 days (12 hours after saying: "I want this every day from now on" and showing me where the plates in her family's kitchen are). I ended up having oneitis and decided to never talk to her again.

That is until a year later or so lol..and then when I asked her about it she told me that..yea in the beginning she maybe wanted more..she didn't lie to me..but somehow her feelings must have changed blabla. (yeah they magically changed in the 12 hours between drooling over me and my brining up the exclusiveness topic).


I haven't read any book on "picking up" nor do I want to have slick game and watch what I say everytime I speak to a chick and overanalyze this stuff..that just wouldn't be fun. I am glad I learned the basics like 'be a man'..and dont act like a wussie thinking it's you, when it's really just what you were made to believe your whole life by holywood movies. Just like we are turned on by female chicks..the whole cute thing and stuff, most chicks are turned on by the male thing. Just like we dont want a dyke, they dont want a guy who's a wuss.

So that being sad, I really only care for the 'basics' and before that had happened to me, I might have said something similar like "you guys are overanalyzing this stuff! Either she wants to be with your or not! Simple as that!". But now, I'll never again be the first one to bring up the topic of exclusiveness LOL.

P.S.: During the 4 years that passed I also remember a female friend of mine dating this guy..and she was always completely wondering if they were together or not..like when I asked her she was like "I don't know.." and "we've been dating for a few months, now, but I dont know..weve never talked about it...so im not sure"...and it was like close to a year later, when she was finally convinced that they were boyfriend and girlfriend (they're still together). Maybe she wouldn't have turned him down if he had brought the topic up...maybe most chicks aren't as extreme as the one I had to deal with..but I could sure tell the whole wondering if the guy would be her boyfriend or if not did get her panties wet lol.

 

[Last Man Standing]

For me, what defines the relationship is how often I let a woman spend the night at my house and what personal items I allow her to leave there. Women who have a clue understand the unspoken concept.

Francisco is a PIMP!!!!!

It is the woman's nature to be with one man only; thus, they always are the one to bring it up!!! A man never says, "Do you want to be my g/f " (which in today's vernacular means "Ho"!).

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...It is the woman's nature to be with one man only; thus, they always are the one to bring it up!!! A man never says, "Do you want to be my g/f " (which in today's vernacular means "Ho"!).

And by the natural progression of things, the one who has impressed you enough (through her actions) and has worked the system enough to spend the most time with you ends up dating you (exclusively doing the things couples do) by default without the subject ever coming up.

She knows that you've allowed her to "be with" you more than any other woman. The best thing is by not defining your status, she knows that she has to keep showing you value to hold her status.

If she slacks off, you can easily have another woman start spending more time with you, cutting into her time (and she knows this). If she's slacking off or acts inappropriately why wouldn't you spend time with another woman, you aren't dating...