How should I play this?

[Pimp-sicle]

If you have enough experience with hot women you will get cheated on. You'll get there eventually son.

But's that's the whole point your missing. Your thinking with your dhick completely in the beginning & aren't planning on getting attached, you just want to bang.

You notice some red flags, but think "whatever I'm just bangin' her anyways." Then if your not spinning plates, you eventually get attached & rationalize the red flags as "not being a big deal."

Then you end up in a cluster fuvk relationship, worried & paranoid about your "hot" gf.

What Exception is saying is to always come from the prize mentality from the jump.

Guys who tend to date crazy girls (I've been there a lot); tend to get pu$$$$$y blindness. Your so attracted to her, the s(exxxx) is so good, that you ignore the warning signs.

You set the standard for what's acceptable before an actual relationship ever forms, not 14 months in.

Haha you completely missed the point. What you are telling him to do is pretend like he is OK with it. He obviously is not. So why not let her know and tell her its my way or the highway? Your entire philosophy is based around fear of her losing attraction at the expense of your own desires, self interest and self respect. Who cares how the b!tch takes a valid scolding? Why be so desperate for pvssy?

Actually it looks like you are the one who missed the point and your feverishly trying to defend your point of view instead of being open to growth.

Neon is not okay with this because HE is insecure at his core.

He has FEAR of loss & therefore is totally over-analyzing and trying to desperately find a way that he can keep his girl, without losing his self respect.

Have you ever actually given a girl an ultimatum before? Did she suddenly do a 180 & stop the questionable behavior, fuvk you more & become the best gf you've ever had?

As mentioned, women communicate covertly 95% of the time. If you've ever see a women overtly express anything, its because she's exhausted all other options. So even if her behavior DOES suddenly change for the better, deep down she will resent you.

I don't need to tell you how hot crazy girls behave. I know you know they are masters at putting on the innocent face, giving you mind blowing shexx and telling you how into you they are, all while banging an ex on the side.

This philosophy isn't based on fear of the girl losing attraction at all. Its based on the fact that when you don't set the standards for a relationship from the start, you can't expect to do that a year later with favorable results.

That's reality.

That's why there are people here advocating for Neon to learn to be the prize, take care of his business & not be so paranoid.

You mentioned that time is precious in one of your posts. Yet in the same post your advising him to play Scooby Doo & investigate?

If time's precious and this is stressing Neon out so much, he should simply just walk. No arguments, no explanations, just up and go.











PIMP

 

[Pimp-sicle]

However, your position is actually FAR more radical than what I or Exception suggested in that you think he should just walk now.

Understand the context in which I said that.

Its clear this is completely stressing out Neon. I know he won't up & walk because

a) he's operating from a position of fear

b) most men don't have the ballz to do that

Where I disagree with Exception is #1 whether this is a red flag and #2 whether calling out women is EVER appropriate. Yes, I have given ultimatums before and they work at either prolonging or quickly exposing the girl for her true colors. Plenty of women have told guys to fvck off for me(and I've done it too).

I think at the core you guys actually agree, but what I'm trying to point out is you reap what you sow. If you ignore the red flags you see in the beginning, they usually tend to become a lot worse & more glaring once your in an exclusive relationship.

My point in this whole matter is to screen better. I'm def DEFFFFINITELY guilty of this in my past.

Neon seems to have a track record of picking questionable girls as well from what I can remember, that's why I'm even replying to this thread.

So you prolonged a few relationships or exposed a girl for her true colors by giving ultimatums. That doesn't seem like it was successful in changing her behavior or keeping her interest high.

Prolonging a relationship where the girl clearly doesn't respect the guy is like banging your head against the wall and waiting for it to bleed.

And if you exposed a girl for her true colors, did you really accomplish anything? Because lets be honest, the fact that you were getting that gut feeling already told you what her true character really was made up of.....

I agree with you where you say Neon needs to be honest with himself etc. But I think his problems run deeper than the situation he is in now.










PIMP

 

[Skyline]

TheException and Pimp i feel as if were coming from the same mindset. I was coming from, and still am, the "prize mentality." Nowadays in my high school girls talk to their ex's often. I just realize how much of a loser that ex is and how she wouldnt even dare because shes in touch with a guy like me. Stuff like this doesnt phase me anymore. From experience and mainly this site.

However in response to OP, PairPlusRoyalFlush and Danger gave him the advice to handle it based on HIS mindset not ours. Lets also remember some red flags can be differet person to person.

And im interested on that thread you thought about making TheException, if you're still up for it.

 

[Neon Owl]

Ok after thinking this over I decided I will talk to her about this. And for the record I'm very willing to walk away if she continues despite me making my feelings known.
There's no way I could progress in the relationship with her if she's still tagging her ex along for the ride.
I'm not going to get angry I'll just make my point that I don't want her talking to him while she's with me. I mean sh1t she asked me if I minded that she was msging her mate's husband on facebook after she'd just died. What makes her think I'd be ok with her txting and speaking on the phone with her ex! Oh yea I forgot to add they talk regularly on the phone...
Not sure what way she'll go but if she refuses then I may just keep banging her while setting up more plates. I will only show loyalty to someone if I get the same in return.

 

[spang]

eh...i dunno. if you speak up youre a beta, if you say nothing your a beta. OP, you do seem a bit insecure but you have a good reason. ive dealt with this problem before and i can tell you that you prolly wont be able to stop the communication between them...especially if she enjoys the attention. its weird that the texts end with xxx...unless hes gay.
if you confront her she will most likely bring up trust issues and friendship and all that stuff. she likes the attention. if this is something that goes on daily then yeah you need to speak up. otherwise youll look like a biatch.
its one thing to put the past behind you, but if someone is continually dragging that past into the present relationship it causes problems.

 

[youngmack]

Break up with this girl. Since she's doing some sh1t like this, I'm sure there's gonna be other sh1t shes gonna be pulling down the line. You even said she likes to see what she can get away with here and there.

And I agree with danger, pp and em. Why be exclusive if you're gonna let a girl entertain other dudes? Insecure or not ,no dude would want his GF talking to their ex's ; and the notion that you should let dumb sh1t like this pass for the sake of not seeming insecure is dumb as hell.

Also always trust your gut ! I learned the hard way. If your gut is screaming at you listen !.

And another thing, you would not be in this predicament if you would've have set sh1t straight from the beginning. What's contradicting about some of the advice here is that they're calling you insecure for saying you don't like her talking to her ex now, but what would be the difference if he said that before the relationship?

Leave this girl. There are other girls out there who won't be entertaining their ex's bro

 

[user name]

Break up with this girl. Since she's doing some sh1t like this, I'm sure there's gonna be other sh1t shes gonna be pulling down the line. You even said she likes to see what she can get away with here and there.

And I agree with danger, pp and em. Why be exclusive if you're gonna let a girl entertain other dudes? Insecure or not ,no dude would want his GF talking to their ex's ; and the notion that you should let dumb sh1t like this pass for the sake of not seeming insecure is dumb as hell.

Also always trust your gut ! I learned the hard way. If your gut is screaming at you listen !.

And another thing, you would not be in this predicament if you would've have set sh1t straight from the beginning. What's contradicting about some of the advice here is that they're calling you insecure for saying you don't like her talking to her ex now, but what would be the difference if he said that before the relationship?

Leave this girl. There are other girls out there who won't be entertaining their ex's bro

Herein lies the problem. When a guy gets into a relationship he gets lazy. Complacent. We all know if he had a queue of beautiful girls just lining up to get a chance to share his bed that this girl in question would be history. No questions asked. But there aren't a queue of girls outside because getting girls takes work. Whereas it is the opposite for girls. It takes work to keep men away.

Personally I thank God for the internet. Where girls are just a click away. Questionable online girls may be but then so is texting your ex when you're supposed to be in a relationship.

 

[Neon Owl]

Thanks guys. Like I said I forgot to mention in my OP that she also talks to him on the phone...one time a couple months ago he rang her while I was there and she wouldn't answer the phone saying something like 'Oh I can't be bothered talking to him right now'. Hmmmm.

 

[Married Buried]

I think the OP should play her game. OP, get one of your buddies or female friend to start texting you feminine messages when you are with this chic. When she asks who is texting you, say "a friend". Then when she gets p!ssed, turn the tables on her. Why is it ok she texts a "friend" and not you? Then she looks like the insecure fool.

 

[user name]

Getting girls does take work. And it takes even MORE work if you don't display backbone and acknowledge that your commitment has value.

Basically, if you are afraid of how much effort it takes to get another girl, your problem lies elsewhere.


Letting a girl toss away your standards and boundaries simply because you are unable to secure more options is unacceptable. It is a death spiral from which you will not recover.

When you start to implement your boundaries and stop pedestalizing pu$$y, you will be amazed at how that generates more self-confidence and even more options.

Yes. Too often we settle for second best because we cannot be bothered to find someone worthy of our attention.

In short OP should ditch this woman and work hard to find someone who is willing to show him more respect.

 

[HyperAnalyze]

I think we are truly flogging the horse here... OP should start to internalize his own values and understand them over what's in front of his face.

Sure it might be hard to lose one girl, but who cares? You have to learn to deal with scarcity. It's good for you, because it will cause you to feel uncomfortable and with that feeling you will begin to learn.

 

[buzzin_frog]

There's a lot of naive men posting in this thread all around...they clearly don't know what they are even talking about!!

First, pretending to be a "prize" won't get you anywhere, especially when the chick doesn't view you as a "prize"

Second, ignoring and accepting bad behavior from a chick will lead to disrespect, then you will get dumped!!

Third, ignoring the fact that his "girlfriend" is texting/talking to a guy that she fvcked when they were broken up is pretty fvcking stupid

Fourth, giving a chick an ultimatum doesn't do anything if the chick is not highly into you.....plus ultimatums are a waste of time anyway

Fifth, having "a talk" about it is a waste of time as well.....she doesn't care what you think anyway...if she wants to talk to this dude, she will, regardless of what you say

Sixth, you are being very insecure by going through her texts and facebook spying on her.....there is no need for that

Seventh, this chick is playing games with you

Eighth, staying in a relationship where the chick makes you feel insecure will always result in you being dumped

Ninth, why are you going through all of this bvllsh!t with this chick?

Tenth, broken relationships will never work out very well



Women are like cars....when they start giving you trouble...replace them with another one!!

There is absolutely no reason why you should put up with any of her bvllsh!t or let it go on!!

If you don't like how this chick is behaving.....or if you don't like how the relationship is going...that is up to you to terminate it on your own terms.....not her's

Start meeting new chicks.....she doesn't take you or this relationship very seriously.....she is just playing games with you...why do you want to hang around for that?

Relationships are mostly temporary anyway.....so after they expire, you dump them, just like curdled milk

Giving her ultimatums, ignoring the fact she is texting this dude (while you pretend to be a "prize"), or having a "talk" with her about it, is a waste of time.....she will still talk to him regardless of what you say...why?...because she wants to!!

Her behavior is making you insecure....why should you deal with any of this sh!t? it ain't worth it man....because in the end, she is going to do what she wants to do anyway!!

She isn't secretive about it because she wants you to know about him....she wants you to be insecure.....she has a plan and she knows what she is doing!!

When you bring this up to her, it will lead to a fight....she will make you out to be the "bad guy" even though she is texting a dude she was fvcking

I can tell you right now that her choice will be to keep texting this guy..... either with or without your knowledge!!

The thing is she's told me before that while we were split up for a few months she had him stay overnight at her house and said he slept on the sofa...she says they're just mates now.

Every guy in this thread missed this part

Why the hell did you get back with her if you already split up?

Broken relationships never work out....they will fail again over time as you are finding out now

You already split up once and it's not working out again as you can see

She banged this dude when you two were split up....so now he's coming back for another round!!

Do you actually think she invited this dude to her place just to make him sleep on the couch? LOL

A couple of these posters are giving you terrible advice....this is a guy that she already fvcked....a guy that she has feelings for....and these posters want you to adopt a "prize mentality" and ignore it? LOL



You are the man....you should be in control....you should be running the relationship....if you don't like how she is behaving....dump her...simple as that!!

The more you become insecure, the more she has to use against you when she wants to dump you....are you going to stick around for that?

You don't have to play any games with her....she is just a chick who can be replaced

You should be texting and talking to other chicks anyway.....start talking to other chicks.....you already broke up once, so you can see this isn't working out too well for you

You should never accept bad behavior from a chick and ignore that it's happening.....that's what inferior and weak men do....betas are afraid of losing the chick...so they just shut up and take whatever the chick does....they allow it go on until the chick loses all respect for him....after that, she ends up dumping the guy....then like idiots, these guys try to win them back....LOL

Chicks who are looking for a way out of the relationship do this....they play games, let their boyfriend know of another guy, he becomes jealous/insecure, he becomes an AFC/beta, they get in fights, she has all this stuff to use as an excuse for the break up

Remember this.....chicks who love and respect their boyfriends don't play these sh!tty games....they only do that to the men they don't respect!!

In relationships, you should always use what I like to call "The Fear Test" to determine if a relationship is worth continuing.....The Fear Test measures if the chick is actually afraid of losing you or not....so, if the chick is not afraid of losing you, by the way she is behaving, then there is no point in being in one!!

The person who fears losing the relationship is never in control of it.....YOU are worried about losing her to this other guy....your girlfriend is holding all the cards

So why would I be worried about her talking to some guy? The very thought of her ever cheating on me with some ex I find truly hilarious. Its the prize mentality. Instead of thinking "man I hope she doesnt meet some guy that she can cheat on me for".....think "There is NO guy she cant meet that would be worth cheating on me for".

TheException and Pimp i feel as if were coming from the same mindset. I was coming from, and still am, the "prize mentality." Nowadays in my high school girls talk to their ex's often. I just realize how much of a loser that ex is and how she wouldnt even dare because shes in touch with a guy like me. Stuff like this doesnt phase me anymore.

This "prize mentality" is mostly a load of sh!t

There's a big difference between actually "being the prize" and "just thinking you are a prize"....that is what these naive men are trying to put out as real advice....that is just being stupid!!

When you are a prize, you already know you are a prize....you can get all the chicks you want... you don't have to settle and put up with bullsh!t from one particular chick!!

When you are a prize, your girlfriend views you as that....she doesn't want to be texting/talking/fvcking around with other men....why? because she already has "the prize" that she wants!! So, there would be no need for her to chat with other men and flaunt it in front of you....and also, she would be afraid of losing you or jeopardizing the relationship if she ever tried!!

A man who is a prize, has other women that want to fvck him all the time......his girlfriend knows that as well....she respects her man and doesn't want to lose him...that is what being a prize is all about!!

What these other guys are talking about is "thinking you are a prize".....that does not equate to being an actual prize....that type of thinking is useless and won't get you anywhere!!

You might think you can sing good.....but in reality you really can't....so what good is thinking you can sing when you really can't?...that sure as hell won't get you a recording contract by just "thinking" you can sing.

Same thing as thinking you are "a prize"...if you are not a real prize, just thinking that you are "a prize" won't work out too well for you....why?....because you are not a "prize" that women want....you can think anything you want...that doesn't mean it is actually true...this is just deluded thinking on these guys part!!

Doubtful he slept on the couch but so what pal? If you break up do you expect her to remain single and just "flick the bean". She did what you should have done when separated....bang other chicks.

"so what pal" you say? This chick who is supposed to be his loving girlfriend, is busy talking to a guy she was previously fvcking.....and you say "so what pal"?....it doesn't matter what she did when they were separated....it matters what she is doing now....she is still being chummy with her fvck buddy...,this shows that she has zero respect for this guy....that is wrong!!

you are condoning her sh!tty behavior and automatically jumping to her defense with all your comments....why?

These same weak minded guys are always wanting to give the chick the benefit of the doubt, even when she is in the wrong.....what the hell is wrong with you?....spoken like a true beta!!

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

There's a lot of naive men posting in this thread all around...they clearly don't know what they are even talking about!!

First, pretending to be a "prize" won't get you anywhere, especially when the chick doesn't view you as a "prize"

Second, ignoring and accepting bad behavior from a chick will lead to disrespect, then you will get dumped!!

Third, ignoring the fact that his "girlfriend" is texting/talking to a guy that she fvcked when they were broken up is pretty fvcking stupid

Fourth, giving a chick an ultimatum doesn't do anything if the chick is not highly into you.....plus ultimatums are a waste of time anyway

Fifth, having "a talk" about it is a waste of time as well.....she doesn't care what you think anyway...if she wants to talk to this dude, she will, regardless of what you say

Sixth, you are being very insecure by going through her texts and facebook spying on her.....there is no need for that
Seventh, this chick is playing games with you
Eighth, staying in a relationship where the chick makes you feel insecure will always result in you being dumped
Ninth, why are you going through all of this bvllsh!t with this chick?
Tenth, broken relationships will never work out very well
Women are like cars....when they start giving you trouble...replace them with another one!!
There is absolutely no reason why you should put up with any of her bvllsh!t or let it go on!!
If you don't like how this chick is behaving.....or if you don't like how the relationship is going...that is up to you to terminate it on your own terms.....not her's
Start meeting new chicks.....she doesn't take you or this relationship very seriously.....she is just playing games with you...why do you want to hang around for that?
Relationships are mostly temporary anyway.....so after they expire, you dump them, just like curdled milk
Giving her ultimatums, ignoring the fact she is texting this dude (while you pretend to be a "prize"), or having a "talk" with her about it, is a waste of time.....she will still talk to him regardless of what you say...why?...because she wants to!!

Her behavior is making you insecure....why should you deal with any of this sh!t? it ain't worth it man....because in the end, she is going to do what she wants to do anyway!!

She isn't secretive about it because she wants you to know about him....she wants you to be insecure.....she has a plan and she knows what she is doing!!

When you bring this up to her, it will lead to a fight....she will make you out to be the "bad guy" even though she is texting a dude she was fvcking

I can tell you right now that her choice will be to keep texting this guy..... either with or without your knowledge!!
Every guy in this thread missed this part

Why the hell did you get back with her if you already split up?

Broken relationships never work out....they will fail again over time as you are finding out now

You already split up once and it's not working out again as you can see

She banged this dude when you two were split up....so now he's coming back for another round!!

Do you actually think she invited this dude to her place just to make him sleep on the couch? LOL

A couple of these posters are giving you terrible advice....this is a guy that she already fvcked....a guy that she has feelings for....and these posters want you to adopt a "prize mentality" and ignore it? LOL

You are the man....you should be in control....you should be running the relationship....if you don't like how she is behaving....dump her...simple as that!!

The more you become insecure, the more she has to use against you when she wants to dump you....are you going to stick around for that?

You don't have to play any games with her....she is just a chick who can be replaced

You should be texting and talking to other chicks anyway.....start talking to other chicks.....you already broke up once, so you can see this isn't working out too well for you

You should never accept bad behavior from a chick and ignore that it's happening.....that's what inferior and weak men do....betas are afraid of losing the chick...so they just shut up and take whatever the chick does....they allow it go on until the chick loses all respect for him....after that, she ends up dumping the guy....then like idiots, these guys try to win them back....LOL

Chicks who are looking for a way out of the relationship do this....they play games, let their boyfriend know of another guy, he becomes jealous/insecure, he becomes an AFC/beta, they get in fights, she has all this stuff to use as an excuse for the break up

Remember this.....chicks who love and respect their boyfriends don't play these sh!tty games....they only do that to the men they don't respect!!

In relationships, you should always use what I like to call "The Fear Test" to determine if a relationship is worth continuing.....The Fear Test measures if the chick is actually afraid of losing you or not....so, if the chick is not afraid of losing you, by the way she is behaving, then there is no point in being in one!!

The person who fears losing the relationship is never in control of it.....YOU are worried about losing her to this other guy....your girlfriend is holding all the cards

This "prize mentality" is mostly a load of sh!t

There's a big difference between actually "being the prize" and "just thinking you are a prize"....that is what these naive men are trying to put out as real advice....that is just being stupid!!

When you are a prize, you already know you are a prize....you can get all the chicks you want... you don't have to settle and put up with bullsh!t from one particular chick!!

When you are a prize, your girlfriend views you as that....she doesn't want to be texting/talking/fvcking around with other men....why? because she already has "the prize" that she wants!! So, there would be no need for her to chat with other men and flaunt it in front of you....and also, she would be afraid of losing you or jeopardizing the relationship if she ever tried!!

A man who is a prize, has other women that want to fvck him all the time......his girlfriend knows that as well....she respects her man and doesn't want to lose him...that is what being a prize is all about!!

What these other guys are talking about is "thinking you are a prize".....that does not equate to being an actual prize....that type of thinking is useless and won't get you anywhere!!

You might think you can sing good.....but in reality you really can't....so what good is thinking you can sing when you really can't?...that sure as hell won't get you a recording contract by just "thinking" you can sing.

Same thing as thinking you are "a prize"...if you are not a real prize, just thinking that you are "a prize" won't work out too well for you....why?....because you are not a "prize" that women want....you can think anything you want...that doesn't mean it is actually true...this is just deluded thinking on these guys part!!



"so what pal" you say? This chick who is supposed to be his loving girlfriend, is busy talking to a guy she was previously fvcking.....and you say "so what pal"?....it doesn't matter what she did when they were separated....it matters what she is doing now....she is still being chummy with her fvck buddy...,this shows that she has zero respect for this guy....that is wrong!!

you are condoning her sh!tty behavior and automatically jumping to her defense with all your comments....why?

These same weak minded guys are always wanting to give the chick the benefit of the doubt, even when she is in the wrong.....what the hell is wrong with you?....spoken like a true beta!!

A while back I started dating this chick, it got serious pretty fast. I broke all of her dating "rules" she has for guys. All of the hoops she makes them jump through, I blew though them with a Mack Truck.

Anyways, about four weeks into it, we're laying in bed right after having sex and she pulls out her phone. She opens up her facebook page (we weren't FB friends ) and starts showing me pictures. She starts going through all of them, showing me a few guys she dated, an ex boyfriend, even a girl she messed around with. And she started talking, and she talked, told me all kinds of things, stories. I mostly listened, asked a few questions. Nodded and gave an "oh" here and there.

You know what she was doing? She wasn't playing games, she wasn't trying to make me jealous. She was qualifying herself to me.

Let me ask you ask you this: what would a man who was secure in the relationship do in that situation? What would a man who was un-secure do in that situation?

The un-secure man would assume she's playing games, not respecting him, throwing ex-boyfriends in his face. Then he'd probably get butt hurt....storm out of there, while slamming the door in the process. Then he'd post on here, and get posters to tell him to dump her.

Not the exact same scenario, but the point's there.

Buzzin Frog, you're saying she should dive head first into Neon's world, and every guy she dated in the past should be dropped from the face of the Earth? Okay, maybe if they were getting married I would agree with that, or at least on the way to getting married. Obviously, they're not at that point yet. She's not ready to let go of a few things.

You can't force a girl to want to be with you. She has to feel it, she has to want it on her own. How does that happen? By being the Prize

You want to know the quickest way for her to erase her ex-boyfriends #? Tell her you don't care if she does or she doesn't, and mean it.

Once you realize and understand this, you will be as secure as a boyfriend can get.

Exception, Frayzer, Pimp....

 

[buzzin_frog]

More naive thinking....I just don't get it

Being phony with a fake mind set, will never get you ahead in life with women.

If you want to be a prize, you need to become one....thinking that you are, when you are not, will not help you be a prize

Pretending to be indifferent doesn't mean sh!t......because you actually do care.....you are just faking it

Pretending that your girlfriend won't fvck her fvck buddy again, is pretty stupid, especially since you already broke up before

Chicks always get in contact with their fvck buddies for a reason....think about it!!

Not the exact same scenario, but the point's there.

No, it's not the same exact scenario....it's a totally different point...it's not the same.... you weren't in an LTR with that chick......this guy is

She is doing a lot more than just bringing up old boyfriends....she is talking to her fvck buddy....adding him on facebook....talking to her friend about him...being chummy with him.....if you are a real prize, your girlfriend wouldn't be behaving this way.

You can be secure all you want in a relationship....if they chick is DTF with a fvck buddy, she will, if she wants to.....your being secure won't help that situation any

Pretending that something isn't going on when it really is....is pretty stupid...you will get burned.....you need to be aware of the situation, then act accordingly if the situation presents itself.

Neon is not being secure....he is being insecure of the other guy....his insecurities will bring him down in this relationship.

You also took what I said out of context and added your own words to it

If he doesn't like how the chick is behaving......then he should get rid of her....that is what men who are prizes do.... they don't need to put up with any bvllsh!t....they don't have to...they have other women who want to be with him!!

Buzzin Frog, you're saying she should dive head first into Neon's world, and every guy she dated in the past should be dropped from the face of the Earth?.

Well, what the hell do you think being a prize is?....Women want to be in your world!!

If you are a prize, then she would have her prize already...no need to be digging into the ex recycle bin.

They were broken up before and we don't know the reason why....those relationships usually don't last

So, her being chummy with this dude is not good for Neon....especially since they broke up already...broken relationships don't last!!

He is already being insecure with her....that will ruin a relationship.....the dude she banged will appear to be better than Neon because of Neon's insecurities

The more he becomes insecure, the more she will lose attraction for him and break up with him

Chicks don't play games with the men who are prizes, because the guy who is the prize will easily replace her for another.

She's not ready to let go of a few things.

So, with your beta thinking, basically she can go ahead and fvck the guy because she is not ready to "let go of things" and that would be fine for you. :crackup:

Another guy who accepts bad behavior from a chick. Another guy who gives them the benefit of the doubt even when they are in the wrong.....I just don't understand their thinking....this is why they fail with women!!

You can't force a girl to want to be with you. She has to feel it, she has to want it on her own. How does that happen? By being the Prize

How the hell is he forcing her to be with him? If he doesn't like how she is acting, he should get rid of her ....that's what men who are prizes do.....they don't play games with chicks....they don't put up with their bvllsh!t....they get rid of them when they get bored... .they replace her with another...because they can!!

She already banged the other dude so she was already with him......now she is chummy with him again....if she didn't want to talk to him...she wouldn't want to....she wants to talk to him...because she is talking to him...she feels that this guy is a prize.

Men who are prizes don't go back with ex's for another round of a bad relationship....they get better women.....women that they want to be with.....because they can!!.

By being a prize, a woman will want to be in your world....she would feel it and want it....she won't play games and won't chat with a fvck buddy....accepting that kind of behavior is just asking for trouble

You want to know the quickest way for her to erase her ex-boyfriends #? Tell her you don't care if she does or she doesn't, and mean it.

So, that's going to keep her from straying? LOL

What good does that do when she has no respect for you? she won't care what you say...she will go ahead and fvck him anyway if she wants to!!

Again, pretending to be a prize when you are not, will not make you become a prize

Telling her that you don't care.....when you actually do care........won't help you out any when she is talking or hanging out with the ex....because you will care when she does!!

You are another guy who preaches fake indifference

You, theexception, frayzer, user_name, and pimp are just living in a land of make believe and fantasy

Pretending to be "a prize" or indifferent ...won't make you become that, unless you already are, or you make it happen on your own!!

You can't take a turd and pretend it's a gold bar

A chick won't view you as a prize unless you already are.....and just thinking that with a phony attitude won't help you when your girlfriend starts riding another guy's c0ck....because she will view the other guy as the prize instead....then let's see how far your fake indifference or "prize mentality" will get you!!



My teammate's ex gf did the same thing... ..she started talking to a fvck buddy...she said he was a "friend" and that they only chat sometimes ....he didn't care because he thought he was a better guy than the other guy... he felt secure in the relatonship....after a month she started acting different...he still pretended to be a prize....he never thought she would cheat...he found out that she was fvcking her "friend" after all, when she was supposed to go away with her friends for the weekend....she was with that guy fvcking him instead.....pretending to be a prize didn't help him...because his gf didn't view him as one....she saw the other guy as one.

I met a chick in Algebra class ....she was taken as I found out later, but would flirt with me in class....we got in class groups and she gave me her number after class.....told me to text her....about 3 weeks later we hooked up at her place....we were chilling after we had sex and she got a phone call...she told me I better leave because her bf was coming over...she didn't want to get caught...told me she would tell me everything later....turns out she was losing interest in the dude and didn't know how to break up with him.....she even told him that I was just a "friend".....he didn't think his gf would cheat on him...I asked her why don't you leave him if you're not into him...her reply? " He buys me things."....she finally left that dude for another guy later on....later on we started talking again and then we hooked up...she cheated on her newer bf as well...with a former fvck buddy....me!!

Dated a girl who became a gf.....she had other guys who wanted to date her as well......we dated for 2 months ....I left to play a road football game at another University.....she came to watch the game and surprised me...I had no idea she was going to come.....she asked to be in a relationship.....and i said ok.....she didn't play any bvllsh!t games and wasn't chummy with her ex's or fvck buddies....she viewed me as the prize.....she didn't want to lose me and she was a good gf.....she did talk to a couple guys that were in her social circle that she knew ...these weren't guys that she banged.... her friend even dated my cousin for a while.....this is being secure in a relationship because I was the prize.

broke up with my first gf when I was in high school....got back together but she banged another guy when we were broken up...got back together briefly....she still was in contact with this guy.... found out that she cheated on me with him....i broke up with her after that....then she came crying back said she was sorry and all that bvllsh!t.....she would come over for sex but she always ruined the good time we had and wanted to fight...finally got tired of it and got rid of her for good...realized that i didn't need that bvllsh!t from her...and learned from then on that broken relationships never work!!

So, we have 3 chicks here....my ex, my teammates ex, and my fvck buddy...in all 3 of these situations, the chick who was texting the fvck buddy ended up fvcking him again....and this will happen to neon as well.

A girlfriend who viewed me as the prize, didn't play sh!tty games with me or didn't text fvck buddies...she respected me and knew that if she acted sh!tty, that she would be replaced

This is the difference between chicks who view their man as a prize, and the chicks who don't.

The prizes are held in high regard and the guys who are not, get cheated on

I've been on both sides of the coin...so I know what I'm talking about......after that I became a prize.

I didn't just think it....I became it...that's what you need to do if you want to attract women...just thinking you are with a phony mind set will get you sh!t on by women...because you are faking it!!

That's why these other guys are wrong with their naive thinking......and if they keep adopting this phony mind set.....they will get burned!!

 

[TheException]

You, theexception, frayzer, user_name, and pimp are just living in a land of make believe and fantasy

Im living in a land of make believe? Why? Because I actually have a faithful and loving girlfriend, and share FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE on how to keep her this way? The entirety of your ramblings can be summed up into one sentence:

Pretending to be "a prize" or indifferent ...won't make you become that, unless you already are, or you make it happen on your own!!

You doubt the mountain of evidence behind "fake it til you make it" ?

How do you become a "prize" without ever acting like one? Snap your fingers and wake up the next day and....WALA....you are now a "prize" ? No....its done over time through character growth and changing your current mindset and behavior patterns. One step at a time. One insecurity at a time. Its called a positive feedback loop.

Act like an alpha -----> Start to feel like an alpha -------> Begins to act even more alpha -----> Starts to feel even MORE alpha.

Get it? My guess is....probably not.

 

[buzzin_frog]

Im living in a land of make believe? Why?

Yes, you are living in a land of make believe. Because everything you are saying is full of sh!t.

Act like an alpha -----> Start to feel like an alpha -------> Begins to act even more alpha -----> Starts to feel even MORE alpha.

This thread isn't about you.....it's about the bad advice you gave to neon....your insecurities are really showing here......and you claim to be an alpha? :crackup:

A fat 300 pound guy can act like an alpha all he wants, he will never become one until he makes positive changes to his life that enables him to become one.....faking and pretending will get him nowhere!!

Dude, you are the farthest thing from being an alpha or a prize

Your contradictory posts show that you are not an alpha or a prize

If you were a prize, you wouldn't be talking this way....you wouldn't give out beta advice....you wouldn't accept bad behavior from a chick....you wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt when she is in the wrong.....you wouldn't automatically jump to her defense....you wouldn't be pretending or faking something that you are not.....that is not being a prize....this is not alpha behavior!!!...this is being an insecure beta fool.

Look at yourself....you only have one source of sex, that comes from your girlfriend.....she decides when she wants to give you sex....when she gets mad at you, she withholds it from you, until she feels that you deserve it....she is using it as a punshment and reward....when she feels like you are a good boy, she will give.....when she is mad, she rejects your sexual escalation in bed while you roll over and pretend to be indifferent....this sure as hell ain't being no prize!!

You gave this guy terrible advice and then you can't even defend your own lame theory of being a fake to me.

Like I said, everything you have written about completely contradicts what you are claiming about being a prize......because everything you are writing about is coming from a beta mind set......other posters have noticed this as well!!

Keep on faking dude, because when you let your fake guard down, your true colors will show....then you will get burned....kind of like how you got posting in this thread.

 

[jake-a-roo4]

There's a lot of naive men posting in this thread all around...they clearly don't know what they are even talking about!!

First, pretending to be a "prize" won't get you anywhere, especially when the chick doesn't view you as a "prize"

Second, ignoring and accepting bad behavior from a chick will lead to disrespect, then you will get dumped!!

Third, ignoring the fact that his "girlfriend" is texting/talking to a guy that she fvcked when they were broken up is pretty fvcking stupid

Fourth, giving a chick an ultimatum doesn't do anything if the chick is not highly into you.....plus ultimatums are a waste of time anyway

Fifth, having "a talk" about it is a waste of time as well.....she doesn't care what you think anyway...if she wants to talk to this dude, she will, regardless of what you say

Sixth, you are being very insecure by going through her texts and facebook spying on her.....there is no need for that

Seventh, this chick is playing games with you

Eighth, staying in a relationship where the chick makes you feel insecure will always result in you being dumped

Ninth, why are you going through all of this bvllsh!t with this chick?

Tenth, broken relationships will never work out very well



Women are like cars....when they start giving you trouble...replace them with another one!!

There is absolutely no reason why you should put up with any of her bvllsh!t or let it go on!!

If you don't like how this chick is behaving.....or if you don't like how the relationship is going...that is up to you to terminate it on your own terms.....not her's

Start meeting new chicks.....she doesn't take you or this relationship very seriously.....she is just playing games with you...why do you want to hang around for that?

Relationships are mostly temporary anyway.....so after they expire, you dump them, just like curdled milk

Giving her ultimatums, ignoring the fact she is texting this dude (while you pretend to be a "prize"), or having a "talk" with her about it, is a waste of time.....she will still talk to him regardless of what you say...why?...because she wants to!!

Her behavior is making you insecure....why should you deal with any of this sh!t? it ain't worth it man....because in the end, she is going to do what she wants to do anyway!!

She isn't secretive about it because she wants you to know about him....she wants you to be insecure.....she has a plan and she knows what she is doing!!

When you bring this up to her, it will lead to a fight....she will make you out to be the "bad guy" even though she is texting a dude she was fvcking

I can tell you right now that her choice will be to keep texting this guy..... either with or without your knowledge!!




Every guy in this thread missed this part

Why the hell did you get back with her if you already split up?

Broken relationships never work out....they will fail again over time as you are finding out now

You already split up once and it's not working out again as you can see

She banged this dude when you two were split up....so now he's coming back for another round!!

Do you actually think she invited this dude to her place just to make him sleep on the couch? LOL

A couple of these posters are giving you terrible advice....this is a guy that she already fvcked....a guy that she has feelings for....and these posters want you to adopt a "prize mentality" and ignore it? LOL



You are the man....you should be in control....you should be running the relationship....if you don't like how she is behaving....dump her...simple as that!!

The more you become insecure, the more she has to use against you when she wants to dump you....are you going to stick around for that?

You don't have to play any games with her....she is just a chick who can be replaced

You should be texting and talking to other chicks anyway.....start talking to other chicks.....you already broke up once, so you can see this isn't working out too well for you

You should never accept bad behavior from a chick and ignore that it's happening.....that's what inferior and weak men do....betas are afraid of losing the chick...so they just shut up and take whatever the chick does....they allow it go on until the chick loses all respect for him....after that, she ends up dumping the guy....then like idiots, these guys try to win them back....LOL

Chicks who are looking for a way out of the relationship do this....they play games, let their boyfriend know of another guy, he becomes jealous/insecure, he becomes an AFC/beta, they get in fights, she has all this stuff to use as an excuse for the break up

Remember this.....chicks who love and respect their boyfriends don't play these sh!tty games....they only do that to the men they don't respect!!

In relationships, you should always use what I like to call "The Fear Test" to determine if a relationship is worth continuing.....The Fear Test measures if the chick is actually afraid of losing you or not....so, if the chick is not afraid of losing you, by the way she is behaving, then there is no point in being in one!!

The person who fears losing the relationship is never in control of it.....YOU are worried about losing her to this other guy....your girlfriend is holding all the cards






This "prize mentality" is mostly a load of sh!t

There's a big difference between actually "being the prize" and "just thinking you are a prize"....that is what these naive men are trying to put out as real advice....that is just being stupid!!

When you are a prize, you already know you are a prize....you can get all the chicks you want... you don't have to settle and put up with bullsh!t from one particular chick!!

When you are a prize, your girlfriend views you as that....she doesn't want to be texting/talking/fvcking around with other men....why? because she already has "the prize" that she wants!! So, there would be no need for her to chat with other men and flaunt it in front of you....and also, she would be afraid of losing you or jeopardizing the relationship if she ever tried!!

A man who is a prize, has other women that want to fvck him all the time......his girlfriend knows that as well....she respects her man and doesn't want to lose him...that is what being a prize is all about!!

What these other guys are talking about is "thinking you are a prize".....that does not equate to being an actual prize....that type of thinking is useless and won't get you anywhere!!

You might think you can sing good.....but in reality you really can't....so what good is thinking you can sing when you really can't?...that sure as hell won't get you a recording contract by just "thinking" you can sing.

Same thing as thinking you are "a prize"...if you are not a real prize, just thinking that you are "a prize" won't work out too well for you....why?....because you are not a "prize" that women want....you can think anything you want...that doesn't mean it is actually true...this is just deluded thinking on these guys part!!



"so what pal" you say? This chick who is supposed to be his loving girlfriend, is busy talking to a guy she was previously fvcking.....and you say "so what pal"?....it doesn't matter what she did when they were separated....it matters what she is doing now....she is still being chummy with her fvck buddy...,this shows that she has zero respect for this guy....that is wrong!!

you are condoning her sh!tty behavior and automatically jumping to her defense with all your comments....why?

These same weak minded guys are always wanting to give the chick the benefit of the doubt, even when she is in the wrong.....what the hell is wrong with you?....spoken like a true beta!!

^ THIS. Too much drama with this girl.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Buzzin' - To set the record straight on my position on Neon's specific situation:

I definitely think he should leave this chick, in fact I think it was one of the first thing's I said was for him to up & leave, go ghost and no contact because she's clearly a low quality cvm guzzling' unfit for a relationship slvt.

About the whole prize mentality focus, there's a caveat to it. I'm a firm believer in faking it until you make it. Not saying that would work for everyone, but it has worked well for many people I have helped over the years.

However, the key to that method actually being successful is RESULTS. If you don't see success (improvement, positive momentum), then it won't matter what you do.

Results trump all.

I don't know where you got the impression that I'm advising Neon to turn a blind eye to his situation. Its crystal clear some bullshyt has been going down & Neon is aware of that since he made this thread.

My advice to him was to improve his entire process because he tends to date some whacked in the head chicks in case you haven't noticed.

And that starts with screening. You don't take the first available pu$$$$ay that comes your way; you evaluate and see if she is fit for you (if we are talking dating or a serious relationship).

But a desperate man, who doesn't know his value would take a girl like that.

My entire point was learning to respect & value yourself (prize), I mean truly understand that concept will weed away 90% of the bs that guys encounter with low quality slvts. But that is a hard concept to internalize and an even harder state to achieve for most men.

Off the top of my head, I truly only know a handful of guys that embody that mindset & truly are men of value.

Almost everyone else I know settles for shiat, because they don't know their self worth.

Sad shiat.










PIMP

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

buzzinfrog, I tried breaking this down but got halfway through and it started to fell like a homework assignment.

I agree with you on some of those points. But, as with a lot of posters, I feel you're making a mountain out of a molehill, even one of the above posters, after reading your post: "too much drama with this girl" LOL. Re-read original post, that's not drama, in the grand swing of things it's not.

Here's the deal: It's not like she's lying to him, or trying to be secretive, she's openly telling him these things. Whether or not she's got a hidden agenda remains to be seen. I just feel it's not enough information to go ahead and jump off the deep end.

He's actually got a scenario here that a lot of guys run into with their LTR's. All chick's have a history, sometimes it shows up, and sometimes they have to deal with it. My feeling is she's unsure of what her next step is. Does she fvck around on ol Neon over here, or does she maintain her loyalty? It's hypergamy, it's in her 21st century DNA. She could be at a crossroads and waiting to see if Neon's the one for her. How he proceeds in this situation could be very important for the future of their relationship. (sounds gay, yes)

First of all, telling her not to text him is not going to keep her from doing it. It may for like a day, but he's going to text her and so on and so forth. The only thing it's going to do is make her secretive about it....and that's a crash and burn.

If Neon wants to keep her, his only option is to "be the prize". To do that is to not care if she does or she doesn't, and act that way, let it be known he's not worried about some other guy. Then he just needs to wait. If she blows off ex-boyfriend on her own, then she's good to go. If she keeps texting him and then eventually meeting him for coffee, then lunch, then drinks...... He'll now know, her behavior has crossed the line and she needs to go.

Give her the rope, let her hang herself on her own. If she does, then you know there was nothing you could have done. And you can walk away with no uncertainties or regrets. If you kick her to the curb now, you'll always be wondering.

 

[TheException]

buzzinfrog, I tried breaking this down but got halfway through and it started to fell like a homework assignment.

This^

I started to actually develop a migraine from the lack of intelligence in your posts frog. The rambling coupled with trying to project some "persona" onto us with the prize mentality simply because you disagree is childish.

We are not insecure about women nor do I look "to stand up for them". Those with the prize mentality "get it", and you clearly do not. Period. I refer you back to the OP for the following quote which sums up the whole post:

Recently it's come to light that my gf of 14 months is still texting her ex. I don't know for sure that he is her ex because she never mentioned his name.

Insecurity. A wandering mind has an incredible ability to conjure up worst case scenarios from minimal scraps of information.