how should i play this?/am i being tested?

[pete101]

i met this HB last week she ended up giving me head on the first date, wanted me to come round for sex at hers the next day.

i asked for the address the next day she texted it to me, but then 2 hours later cancelled on me saying she was working late and asked me to call her to arrange another time. i phoned her but i was sounding nervous and said i could come later, she said she'd let me know when she finished work.

i get a msg from her at midnight saying she just got back from work and she'd call me tomorrow to make arrangements as it was too late.

she never called, so i left it a couple days till yesterday. i called, she said she'd call me back in a sec. (she was at work) she never called so i just messaged her about 2 hours later saying to rearrange our meeting for that night or the next day. she said she'd be free the next day. so i suggested a time. she agreed. then she texts me at lunch today to cancel again.. she's working late and will call me later.. grrr..

i know im coming across as too available but it's because sex is on the cards is why i dont realise what im doing.. i understand date flaking and sex flaking are similar.

what should i do/play this?

it sounded like BS to me cos i've been messed around so many times and i couldn't understand why she'd be in the office on saturday and sunday.. apparently she has an important case on tomorrow and needs to prepare.. is this rubbish?

if she can go out partying on fri/saturday night why is she not compromising these nights to meet up with me? it's like she knows now she can have me any time she wants and is abusing that power..

should i just ignore her call later and get back to her tomorrow saying i was out or something?

 

[horaholic]

She lost interest, if she ever had any. Be thankful for what you got, and delete her number, so you dont do something stupid like call her again. Im not calling you stupid though, but it would be stupid to call her again.

 

[horaholic]

She sounds like one of those chicks who are too chickenshyt to say no to an offer, and instead just cancel, or blow it off. She might be dating other dudes too.

 

[slaog]

I don't think she is testing you. You said you were sounding nervous when you phoned back. That and constantly trying to contact her would be the worst thing you could have done.


You need to work on your inner game. Why would you be nervous at all? Do you need sex that much that it's making you sound like a beggar?

 

[sexy_kuta]

lay off for a bit, dont contact her, spin other plates,
she isnt really testing you but she has dropped her interest in you quite a bit.
and shes using you as an ego boost, she has your control, she knows u will chase her around and be her puppy on a lease.
shes laughin at you right now because you're too easy,
shes a ****ing slut with low esteem man, she sucked your **** on the first date,

so pull back now and chill, let her come to you, if she does, play it smooth, be friendly but dont be too free, 50/50 rule date. accept half of her invites.

 

[pete101]

im just bad on the phone.. always have always will be.. i get anxious talking on the phone not just to girls. but can sounding nervous be enough of a passion killer?

i feel like her IL is dropping slowly even though it was really high before.. it just feels cos she cancelled twice she's put me into an afc position testing how desperate i am. it could all be true what shes saying but a flake is a flake.

i generally try to make arrangements via text to avoid messing up on the phone. so even if im nervous it's not noticeable.

it's annoying because she doesn't counter offer but tells me to call her to arrange another time.. keep putting the ball in my court. she says shes gona call me later.. im thinking of not answering and just texting her tomorrow i was out. i dont like these stupid psychological mind games and tests of how clingy u are.

im more shocked how this time yesterday im due to go over to hers for sex and now im at a stage that it's potentially over.. such a rollercoaster.

 

[pete101]

lay off for a bit, dont contact her, spin other plates,
she isnt really testing you but she has dropped her interest in you quite a bit.
and shes using you as an ego boost, she has your control, she knows u will chase her around and be her puppy on a lease.
shes laughin at you right now because you're too easy,
shes a ****ing slut with low esteem man, she sucked your **** on the first date,

so pull back now and chill, let her come to you, if she does, play it smooth, be friendly but dont be too free, 50/50 rule date. accept half of her invites.

what's the 50/50 rule date? can u give me an example of a scenario of how to respond? how do i even know she's gona invite me?

right now i didn't respond to her text cancelling today. if shes gona call me later like she said then fine. (if shes really busy with work as she says then after tomorrow she should be less snowed under) all of this makes u so cynical even though it could be true.

 

[sexy_kuta]

what's the 50/50 rule date? can u give me an example of a scenario of how to respond? how do i even know she's gona invite me?

right now i didn't respond to her text cancelling today. if shes gona call me later like she said then fine. (if shes really busy with work as she says then after tomorrow she should be less snowed under) all of this makes u so cynical even though it could be true.

the 50/50 is more of a guideline to keep you in check, it means you only accept 50 percent of her invitations. and reject the other 50 percent.

chill for a bit, let her contact u, then she gonna ask u to chill, say sure,
THEN the next time she asks u to come ****, say "im busy, cant"

maybe she is busy, and only way to know is let her contact you if she is really sincere. assume she is man, always assume postive, she IS busy, its winter time, most people are working their asses off now

if you keep thinking negative, you're only digging YOURSELF to the ground.
its gonna effect your entire ego, self esteem and overall view if you keep thinking negatively. assume she is busy and let her contact u, play it smooth alright? dont be an ******* or bring up the subject of "so why did u ditch me twice in a row?" dont show any emotions to that, if she apologize, then accept it and tell her "its all good"

your role is to get ***** ok? not marrying this chick or having a kid with her, you need to lower your standards you have for her. otherwise shes going to disappoint you alot and its only going to hurt you

 

[legolas]

Your problem is in the assumption that it was something you did that screwed up everything which comes from the assumption that you had a chance to begin with. What if you had absolutely no effect on the whole thing altogether?

I'm not saying you had no shot or no control over the situation, I'm saying that you're making it too much like you had a shot and screwed up. Change your perspective and get some altitude on the issue. Move on, detach.

 

[Solomon]

i

im more shocked how this time yesterday im due to go over to hers for sex and now im at a stage that it's potentially over.. such a rollercoaster.

That's how fccuked up the game/women can be, one day you about to hit it, the next day, y'all ain't talking, this happened to me last week, hell it happens all the time, just keep it moving, knowing there are other women out there playboy.

Solo

p.s. why didn't you smash her that night? you ain't had a rubber or some ****?

 

[Four_Aces]

Be thankful for what you got, and delete her number, so you dont do something stupid like call her again. Im not calling you stupid though, but it would be stupid to call her again.

Perfectly stated.

You could give it one more shot. Three-Strikes Policy. If it doesn't workout - as the rappers say, "drop it like it's hot".

 

[pete101]

if she thinks i'm only after one thing then is that a problem which can stop me hitting it sooner rather than later?

i offered to take her out as an alternative option but when she said she couldn't do saturday but was free sunday i said i'd come over to her place.. not extra offer of taking her out.

it's twice now she said she'd call me the next day or a bit later to rearrange the meeting.. neither times she's done that. this is what i mean by her testing to see how needy i am and whether i'll call back?

cos i've failed twice in that respect is it too late? i didn't respond to her flake message yesterday and i bet she's expecting me to call within the next couple days to rearrange a time. it's more likely i'll call her before she calls me so i need to make her think im not going to call her again.. BUT if she thinks im only after one thing is this all just a bullsh1t test?

 

[pete101]

the 50/50 is more of a guideline to keep you in check, it means you only accept 50 percent of her invitations. and reject the other 50 percent.

chill for a bit, let her contact u, then she gonna ask u to chill, say sure,
THEN the next time she asks u to come ****, say "im busy, cant"

maybe she is busy, and only way to know is let her contact you if she is really sincere. assume she is man, always assume postive, she IS busy, its winter time, most people are working their asses off now

if you keep thinking negative, you're only digging YOURSELF to the ground.
its gonna effect your entire ego, self esteem and overall view if you keep thinking negatively. assume she is busy and let her contact u, play it smooth alright? dont be an ******* or bring up the subject of "so why did u ditch me twice in a row?" dont show any emotions to that, if she apologize, then accept it and tell her "its all good"

your role is to get ***** ok? not marrying this chick or having a kid with her, you need to lower your standards you have for her. otherwise shes going to disappoint you alot and its only going to hurt you

but what if she doesn't offer me invites out?

we're assuming she'll ask to meet up when it doesn't look like she's going to call.

i see what i did wrong in that i made myself too available even tho i haven't really even called that much.. it's just her cancelling twice is putting me into
a seriously afc desperate situation and i dont know how to deal with it.

is she still expecting me to call her after what happened the 1st time she cancelled and didn't call me the next day to make arrangements?

it's annoying cos on saturday i was tryna decide whether to call or text her so i called.. she said she'd call me back in a sec and i waited 1 and half hours and she didn't get back to me and i needed an answer about meeting up that night.. so i text her what i wanted to say on the phone earlier.. she texted back apologising for not calling back but i just feel it made me look impatient but i needed an answer there and then.

 

[Smartone84]

no offense, but you DLV'd the hel out of yourself by calling too much and making yourself too available. If she was the one who was actually looking for sex, all u should have done was sit back and wait for her to come to u, and i'm sure she would have

 

[pete101]

did i call too much tho?

i had to get the address the next day so i texted her for it, she sent it. 2 hours later she cancels and asks me to call to make another arrangement. i call, sound nervous saying i could come later. (i know big mistake looking available.. but its cos sex was on the cards) she said she'll let me know later. she texts me around midnight saying its too late she'll call me the next day to make arrangements. i text back ok.

she doesn't call. so i call sat, she picks up says she'll call me back in a sec. she doesn't and i didnt get what i wanted to say across so i texted it 2 hours later, we agree a time for sunday. then she cancels by text on sunday. i haven't really called that much but the running convo has been back and forth with her cancelling twice. now i haven't been in contact since.

now im stumped cos going from point to point it didnt seem like much but overviewing it all i can see how i've made myself too available but it's cos she's cancelled and forced me into this position.. it's like she's forcing u into it and u can't get out.

 

[slaog]

Yes you called too much. You put up with her bullst*t behaviour too which tells her that you're desperate for her (which you have admitted).

im just bad on the phone.. always have always will be.. i get anxious talking on the phone not just to girls. but can sounding nervous be enough of a passion killer?

Then use text messages instead.

it's annoying because she doesn't counter offer but tells me to call her to arrange another time.. keep putting the ball in my court. she says shes gona call me later.. im thinking of not answering and just texting her tomorrow i was out. i dont like these stupid psychological mind games and tests of how clingy u are.

I think her mind wasn't made up about you and you made it up for her by constantly trying to contact her. You sound very keen and she probably knows this too.

im more shocked how this time yesterday im due to go over to hers for sex and now im at a stage that it's potentially over.. such a rollercoaster.

We've all been there. It's not all bad though if you learn from these experiances like I did.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

That's how fccuked up the game/women can be, one day you about to hit it, the next day, y'all ain't talking, this happened to me last week, hell it happens all the time, just keep it moving, knowing there are other women out there playboy.

Solo

p.s. why didn't you smash her that night? you ain't had a rubber or some ****?

This happened to me recently with the girl that worked at Starbucks. The day after I met her she was at my house, I had reached the point of fingering her and decided to slow things down in hopes that we would fvck more than once. Now she suddenly has no interest and I heard it was because she was still trying to work things out with her ex.

Some would say you should plow, and just keep being persistent, but I nexted her, moved on. Sometimes that's just what you gotta do.

The girl gave you head, she may have a boyfriend situation that she is thinking about dealing with. I would let her get back to you when she is ready.

 

[tincanman99]

I would back off. Women smell that you want them. Let her come to you. The more you pursue her the more she knows she is in control.

The cardinal rule of any relationship is the one who cares about it the least is in control.

Think about this in terms of yourself and this girl. Clearly she can get laid anytime she chooses. You cant. You are pursuing her and she knows it because you desire her. She has ALL THE POWER if YOU allow it. Cut it back. Let her come to you.

The harder you pursue her the more elusive she will become. Trust me as I have been there.

 

[pete101]

i honest to god do not understand her.. it was her fvcking idea to meet up the next day to fvck.. she gave me the address.. then backs out 2 hours later saying shes working late. ok it didn't help i sounded nervous on the phone.. and probably desperate.

but im shocked how something so little has ruined it. when i called saturday we spoke for 5 secs. she texts me shes free on sunday so i agree a time. then she cancels again. i just dont see the point in her going through the effort of doing this.

i feel like shes testing how much i'll chase her. im starting to resent her now. i didn't respond to her cacellation text till earlier today saying 'if you're cancelling its your responsibility to offer another time.. not mine. you're losing points with me now.' got nothing back. i call her about 20 mins ago thinking it's nothing and she doesn't pick up.. i honestly do not fvcking understand what has happened.

shes not even that hot.. is she just toying with me now to see how bad i want her?

im getting fed up of her. i might as well delete from facebook and her number cos i cant be ass'd to put up with her BS. it's so puzzling for me cos even if i responded yesterday after her text cancelling interrogating her why she's working on a sunday etc.. it doesn't explain why me texting her this afternoon she wouldn't respond. i did the right thing by not responding although i should have left it completely rather than just one day. what a c0cktease.

 

[tincanman99]

I think you are getting too aggressive with her. Realize that almost women are flakes and change their minds about anything. I think she had high interest at one point but may have changed her mind. Who knows, you cant control it anyway.

I would not be rude to her. Dont do anything extreme or drastic like deleting her number, facebook etc... Just back off. She may come around, she may not. You have to take the attitude of SO WHAT. Be nonchalant and
indifferent. Realize that she doesnt owe you an explanation. She can and will do whatever she wants.

You need to take the attitude if she wants to be with me, fine, if she doesnt, thats fine too. The more needy you become you have a high chance of driving her off.

Just back off a bit and leave it be for a while.