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How many of you make enough money for your girl to be a homemaker?

Trader

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Just curious how many guys out there can pull enough coin so that their girl will not have to work, and can be a homemaker.

Remember, as long as your girl is working, she will always have the defiant attitude of: 'I don't have to listen to you, I make my own money.'
 

5string

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I do, although my wife is looking for a job 2-3 days a week right now. She'll never get defiant if she works because 1) I don't need her money 2) She'll never come close to making what I do. Have to admit something though. It is kinda nice to have a stay at home wife. Does kinda piss me off that she can go back to bed after I leave for work in the morning. That's just wrong!
 

Mr.Positive

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I could probably do swing it, though it would be more of a household like the old days. Lot's of cooking at home, one car, etc, nothing lavish. Pretty much how I live anyways. :)
 

zekko

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I could, but I prefer to have her help out with the bills so I can put back more cash for a rainy day. In our current culture women are expected to work, and I would probably think she was lazy if she didn't have a job.
 

Mr.Positive

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zekko said:
In our current culture women are expected to work, and I would probably think she was lazy if she didn't have a job.
In our culture it's expected for her to work and consume massive amounts of debt also. :D The working is fine with me, the excessive consumption not though.
 

Lexington

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Trader said:
Remember, as long as your girl is working, she will always have the defiant attitude of: 'I don't have to listen to you, I make my own money.'
So a woman will never listen to her man unless she is completely financially dependent on him? Are all women who make a lot of money "defiant?"
 

Trader

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Lexington said:
So a woman will never listen to her man unless she is completely financially dependent on him? Are all women who make a lot of money "defiant?"
The only issue is *to what extent* is she defiant.

There is a deep connection between a woman's belief that she is independent, and the fact that she makes a lot of money.
 

sodbuster

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My ex wife wanted to quit work,I told her she could,but she'd have to treat me better[so she didn't-women were always better than men in her mind]
 

squirrels

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I think I make more than my sister and my bro-in-law put together and they're raising a kid.

I make more than both my parents together...and they raised 4 on it.

There are a lot of things I COULD do with the money I'm making, but I would have to give up certain aspects of my lifestyle to which I've grown fond.
 

Lexington

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Trader said:
The only issue is *to what extent* is she defiant.

There is a deep connection between a woman's belief that she is independent, and the fact that she makes a lot of money.
Would she be defiant to a greater extent if she is very satisfied with her husband? What if he is the vaunted True Alpha™?
 

Jitterbug

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It'll just mean she'll get a lot more of your sh!t for "sacrificing her career" when you get divorced.
 

Trader

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Lexington said:
Would she be defiant to a greater extent if she is very satisfied with her husband? What if he is the vaunted True Alpha™?
Life is always multi-factorial.

Take the rather extreme example of an Alpha Male, whose girl has friends who are all feminists, it makes it that much more difficult to maintain the frame.

That's why King Xerxes was smart: he realized that girls are highly impressionable, not only to himself, but to other people (i.e. friends, society which tells a girl who has money, she is independent and need not listen to man).

King Xerxes laid the hammer on Queen Vashti accordingly, verse 17 is key

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=173946
 

Stagger Lee

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I believe that men having all the economic advantage was an equalizer to women having all the sex advantage. Now it is even easier for women to earn an income than for a man, so men have no leverage over women. The typical career woman ends up at 40 a childless, useless Sex and the city skank.
 

catman

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All my friends who are still married all have wives that work and share their money.The friends i have that are divorced like myself all had wives that worked but never shared their money or bought a damn thing for the family? If they dont share they lose appreciation for you and your realionship cause they expect you to pay for everything like their fathers did? I make just under 50k a year we wouldnt be liveing very good thats for sure. I cant seem to even find a woman that even has a job much less share her money.These women i do not even bother with cause you cannot convince them to get a job they are victims boo fvcken hoo:D These women cause resentment in my opinion!!!
 

Victory Unlimited

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How many of you make enough money for your girl to be a homemaker?

Yo Troops,


This is a very interesting question, and it takes a nuanced view to really give a good answer to it.

There are many factors that figure into whether or not you make enough money for your girl to be a homemaker.

1. In our western culture, much has been said, publicized, celebrated, and championed concerning the "supposed" liberation of women from traditional gender roles. In these times, for the most part, unless women are raised with a traditional, spiritual, or at least a rigidly religious viewpoint-------the idea of being a "homemaker" is frowned upon.

2. Even though females have been declaring that they are "women, and we should hear them ROAR" since that Helen Reddy's song of the Seventies--------they are still subconsciously aware that they are women and NOT men. Most women STILL respond more positively, even if it's just from a behavioral sense, to a man being the leader while they are more comfortable following his lead within the confines of a healthy relationship.

Understand, when I say "leader" I'm not referring to the overused, questionable, and situationally segmented view of the "Alpha Male" that many men in the seduction community seem to have adopted.

No, what I'm referring to is a MAN who is strong, honors himself first, but still shows suitable honor and respect to the woman he's chosen as well.

Having said all that. What I'm getting at is that most women who would even BEGIN to think about taking on the role of homemaker would rarely do so without some level of publicly recognized, if not "legally recognized" COMMITMENT from the man in question. In other words, for all the shyt they talk, most women would be more inclined to assume the homemaker role if they were the man's WIFE as opposed to just his "girl".

The only exceptions I've seen to this rule are women with low self-esteem, women who have a master plan of entrapping the man into eventual marriage through "accidental" pregnancy, and women who have an "arrangement" with the man (see "a Gorilla Pimp and his main Hoe/Bottom Bytch).

4. The term "Homemaker" presupposes that the man and the woman BOTH know what it means to build a home------and I don't mean this in just the superficial financial sense. What I'm referring to is the love, the commitment, the comfort, the compatibility, the sexual connection, the spiritual connection, and a variety of other things that it takes to turn a "house" into a HOME. Believe it or not, in this age of nearly unbridled selfishness, RARE is the woman OR MAN who has a fukking clue as to the depths of how to even begin to create such a nurturing and peaceful living environment.

5. Lastly Troops, recognize the truth of what Mr. Positive has already mentioned earlier in this thread. The ability of ANYONE to create a home is largely dependent on a WILLINGNESS to live within certain means. In today's consumer oriented, low-income, living above our means, keeping up with the Joneses, type of society--------it takes a bit more than "X" amount of money to make a happy home.

ENOUGH money is "relative". A woman who grew up in the south on a farm may be more comfortable living within certain means than a woman who grew up in New York chasing the Sex and the City "dream/NIGHTMARE" may have a harder time living within the boundaries of whatever amount of money you may be bringing in.

In other words, a woman AND A MAN who are more interested in STUFF than they're interested in LOVE (which includes things like commitment, closeness, partnership, mutual respect, etc.) have the tendency of setting the bar INCREDIBLY high when it comes to what it takes to declare themselve HAPPY with the "home" that they are "making".

So, in regards to finding a woman with which to build a home, it's of paramount importance that you're BOTH on the same page of what your definition of a well-made "home" actually "is".


Until then...

...Soldier on.


VU
 

Bible_Belt

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Trader said:
Just curious how many guys out there can pull enough coin so that their girl will not have to work, and can be a homemaker.

Remember, as long as your girl is working, she will always have the defiant attitude of: 'I don't have to listen to you, I make my own money.'

My girl makes enough money for me to be a homemaker. It's a sweet deal, especially because she ends up doing most of the housework anyway. When I do feel like working, my money is usually our party fund, and of course I share it freely. However, if I am going to live with a woman then I expect her to pay all of the bills. About 2/3 of my adult life has been funded by various women or their rich parents. Even when a woman pays your bills, she can't tell you what to do if she knows that you can easily find a different woman to pay your bills. It's not like there's a shortage of lonely working women. Everyone is replaceable, even when she is the one with the money.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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sodbuster said:
My ex wife wanted to quit work,I told her she could,but she'd have to treat me better[so she didn't-women were always better than men in her mind]
This is it in a nutshell. The 1950's idealized fantasy of a one income family is long gone (if it ever even existed). In it's place is, once again, sexual negotiations - Man provides woman with a lifestyle free from the burdens of corporate employment (homemaking is work) in exchange for "you treating me better." And ironically, even that's a bridge too far for most contemporary women. The logical fallacy guys like to entertain is that a "kept woman" will necessarily be more appreciative, both sexually and empathically, due to his overt sacrifice and dedication to her provisioning. It's really a variation of the Cap'n-Save-A-Ho / Savior Schema; a negotiation of provisioning / problem solving for exchanged appreciation and desire. And predictably, negotiated desire evolves into obligatory services and resentment.

That's not to say a Man cannot maintain frame by means of provisioning, but it is to say that most women lack the capacity, or will progressively lose the capacity to appreciate a Man's provisioning over time. Also, it is by no means insurance of frame control to be the sole provider for the family. I know enough men in positions of married indentured servitude to see this proved out. Once sole providership becomes an expected responsibility for a husband it loses its potency and becomes his obligation. There are plenty of beta-providers in the world who abdicate authority to their wives (emotionally, financially, sexually, etc.) who've come to take their provisioning for granted and expected.

To my own credit I have to admit I saw this coming with my own wife. Mrs. Tomassi is a medical professional, however I easily clear 3 times her salary in my own line of work and could support her and our daughter singlehanded if it were my pleasure to do so. We've even discussed this on several occasions, but in her line of work she must stay working in order to maintain and update her skill set. That's my reasoning, and it's nice to have the extra money, but my latent agenda is to keep her appreciative by not allowing her to quit. This may sound counterintuitive, but she only works 2 days a week per diem so she's already dependent on my provisioning. However, by her staying employed I give her the gift of missing me, and she appreciates what is necessary to function in the working world.

The problem most housewives (and househusbands) experience is a dissociation from the sacrifices necessary to succeed in the working world. There's a distinct insulation that occurs, so it's not surprising that the experiences the working partner must deal with daily are foreign and are un or under appreciated after a time.

I think there's a legacy of pride that's left over from the bygone era when being the sole provider for a family fed into a Man's character and sense of self-worth. That sense of pride has been rendered meaningless due to the combination of feminism and the fiscal realities that have changed family and corporate life for the past 60 years. However, that legacy is still very seductive for Men today, and don't think for a moment it's gone unnoticed by clever women seeking a total, entitled, sponsorship from Men in marriage. It's one more trap a Man can fall into if he internalizes her same expectations of support, while thinking his sacrifice will be equitably appreciated.
 

Poonani Maker

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I could make enough money to support 2 girls and 2-4 kids if the state would allow me and if I worked on Saturday. As of late, I've been working 60-70 hours. It makes sex all the more enjoyable after a hard work-week. I believe in polygamy. All my wives could have sex with each other too.
 

vatoloco

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squirrels said:
There are a lot of things I COULD do with the money I'm making, but I would have to give up certain aspects of my lifestyle to which I've grown fond.
I'm in the same situation. I make enough money that I can take care of my family and have my woman stay at home and raise the kids but that would mean I would have to cut back spending money on my hobbies (motorcycles, collectibles).

I could do it. But she's gonna have to be an exceptional woman and potential great mother if I'm gonna give those expenditures up...

And the sex would have to be awesome too.
 

samspade

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My wife actually enjoys taking care of me. I've been used to living independently, so sometimes I get small cases of "male guilt" when my wife does things like prepare a lunch for me to bring to work, or clean the apartment. She earnestly says, "I like to do these things," and I believe her. I do pitch in and I'm not just sitting on the couch drinking beer and watching sports, but I have to say that she happily accepts what we call "domestic" gender roles as some call them today. That goes double for when we have company.

Now, she's making peanuts at a minimum wage job, but once she gets her work authorization there's a chance she'll make more money than I as a systems programmer, analyst, or what have you. Does this bother me? Not in the least - because I know where the frame control lies. Even when she pays for dinner at a restaurant, she slips me the bills under the table.

On a side note, I was watching a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" rerun last night related to this. Larry and his wife were treated to dinner by a married couple, friends of theirs. They thanked the husband, and then the wife chimed in and said "and what about me?" And Larry refused to thank her on the basis that she doesn't work; the husband earned the money and paid for the meal and deserves the praise. Awkwardness of course ensued.
 
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