How i handle last week situations

[zorg198]

Hello,

During my NC with my ex i try to improve as a man and improve my lifestyle. focus on myself. but to addition to that i started talking to girls and no wonder they keep pulling their sh1t in front of me . so i just wanted to give you example of the situations i went with girls and how i handle it. i will appreciate if you could point where i got wrong.

1. A girl from Facebook- i have a friend on facebook so there was a girl there i thought she looks nice so i sent her a msg... we started talking until the point i told her i shifted to gear one now i need to shift to gear two , lets do it together. she said i am charming and have a great attidute but she is stuck on some guy. she asked me if i could wait couple of days? i said no. i can't wait for you to decide if i am the second good thing to go for. bye bye.


2. second girl on facebook - same thing but she gave me her number, called after two days , she didnt answer. couple of hours later i sent her a text saying its Joe and blah blah.. next day she answered she's in vacation for a couple of days. wrote , great and that's it. no response from her.

3. Another chick i talked on Facebook- got her number as well , called her - no response , didnt pay too much attention to it moved on. two days after that she send me a text , can i call? couple hours later i responded yes. she called and we talked for 20 min. i told her i want to meet her on Tuwsday , (the call was on sunday) she said lets talk on Tuesday. there was a big storm so it got delayed. On Thursday i called. she didn't picked up. no response from her.

4. another girl from Facebook, shows high interest- gave me her number. but Thursday i called she told me she was with her girl friend talking - she asked if she could call me later , said no problem. she didnt'. next day she semt a lame good morning text. responded . Yesterday i called her again- she told me she was with her sister and she will call me again. guess again? 10 mins ago she called me.


Now- usually the old me would get upset and try to understand what the fvck is going on, now? she didn't call? ok no harm move on do your stuff. try to understand why she didn't call? who cares?

I just want to understand what i did wrong so i could do better. i'm in a journey now to get better in my mind , body , and social so i need my brothers here to help me.

Joe.

 

[HoneyHitter]

Too much facebook. It's not working for you. Try something else, preferably offline.

 

[RangerMIke]

Too much facebook. It's not working for you. Try something else, preferably offline.

DITTO. The common denominator here is Facebook and failure. Get out in the real world. Never talk to a women on the phone text et. al. The only form of communication should be face to face. Many women just use social media as some kind of romantic fantasy.... You are a man you are supposed to be living in a real world of purpose. Save phone sex and sexting for when you are in a relationship separated by distance. If you are in the same city you should not be doing ANYTHING that does not include the possibly of sex.

 

[Heisenberg]

1. A girl from Facebook- i have a friend on facebook so there was a girl there i thought she looks nice so i sent her a msg... we started talking until the point i told her i shifted to gear one now i need to shift to gear two , lets do it together. she said i am charming and have a great attidute but she is stuck on some guy. she asked me if i could wait couple of days? i said no. i can't wait for you to decide if i am the second good thing to go for. bye bye.

That's a pretty stern zero-tolerance policy you gave to a girl who you have literally never met. I think you are taking some of this alpha stuff you've read on here too far. If a girl you have been dating for a while says she needs time to sort out her feelings on you then, "no. i can't wait for you to decide if i am the second good thing to go for. bye bye." is a good response. But if you are asking her to choose on the spot between you, a guy she has never met, and a guy who she presumably has met... that's a pretty easy choice for her.

 

[zorg198]

That's a pretty stern zero-tolerance policy you gave to a girl who you have literally never met. I think you are taking some of this alpha stuff you've read on here too far. If a girl you have been dating for a while says she needs time to sort out her feelings on you then, "no. i can't wait for you to decide if i am the second good thing to go for. bye bye." is a good response. But if you are asking her to choose on the spot between you, a guy she has never met, and a guy who she presumably has met... that's a pretty easy choice for her.

+



I hear you , that's the reason i made this post , to understand what i am doing wrong. i realized my mistake and i will apply it on some other chick.

I called the other chick who was on vacation , she said she is with some friends and they are working on producing some event. said no problem. she asked if we could do this in the upcoming week? i said no problem. i don't think anything will come out of it because she has low interest but should i try again in few days?

 

[Poon King]

Too much calling. I usually only TEXT women until I get a solid commitment. Texting is better because it gives her time to respond and she doesn't have to worry who is around her listening. Stop calling these women.

A woman with high interested doesn't need to be "warmed up" either. You can go straight from flirting to planning a date. The reason getting her to meet you FACE TO FACE is so important is because it requires work and commitment from her (aka investment). You always want to make the woman invest.

If a woman wont invest, then she is either not interested, a control freak or a full of sh!t attention wh0re. The woman should always want you more than you want her. That is the proper position for a woman: Weaker and below the man. Never the other way around.

 

[zorg198]

Yeah ok.

The question is - since she never initiated since our text this week should i try text her in the middle of the week to set up a date or i lost my train with her.

I mean its better to try than don't , right?

 

[Poon King]

Yeah ok.

The question is - since she never initiated since our text this week should i try text her in the middle of the week to set up a date or i lost my train with her.

I mean its better to try than don't , right?

Text her NOW to set up a date.

Its better to know where a woman stands ASAP. Don't drag this stuff out. Your time is valuable. Your only job is to find out where a woman stands so you can make a decision about her.

Low interest women should be discarded like trash. High interest women need to be in your company one-on-one so you can get physical with them. Strike while the iron is hot.

Because once you get physical with a woman (even if its only kissing) she has invested in you. So it is easier at this point to continue. Don't waste time on chit-chat and moving slow. This only gives her time to think and question how she feels (women believe "love happens fast").

Remember.. if a woman can get (and keep) your attention without getting physical.. then she will. This is how the friendzone and being a beta orbiter happens.

A man who gives away his time for free (not requiring sex/physical affection) is considered cheap. And so he is treated as such and put in the beta orbiter category.

 

[zorg198]

How should i text her? i mean what should i write.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

In short: your online approaches were weak, and none of the girls you hit up had high interest.

Yes, I know you THINK they did, but really - girls give out their numbers all the time to guys they're not really interested in, so as not to hurt their feelings. You were quick to assume that meant they had high interest, but their ACTIONS have thus far proven otherwise. As for your approach: your mistake was thinking you needed to have a whole bunch of rapport with these women before asking them out. The few times I've used facebook to get a date, I literally sent them a message saying (a) I thought they were cute, (b) I didn't know how well we'd get along in real life but that I'd like to find out, and (c) if they'd be up for meeting for coffee within the next couple of days. All of that was sent in the FIRST message, and the response each time from the girl would be (a) thanks for hitting me up, (b) sounds like a great idea, and (c) here's my number. Then I'd call them and set up the date, and a couple of days later I'm on a date with them where they didn't flake.

Pretty simple stuff, right? And none of that "building rapport" mumbo jumbo that people on here think they should be doing - you leave the rapport building for the DATE, people!!

Anyway - allow me to point out where these girls showed their lack of interest:

1. A girl from Facebook- i have a friend on facebook so there was a girl there i thought she looks nice so i sent her a msg... we started talking until the point i told her i shifted to gear one now i need to shift to gear two , lets do it together. she said i am charming and have a great attidute but she is stuck on some guy. she asked me if i could wait couple of days? i said no. i can't wait for you to decide if i am the second good thing to go for. bye bye.

A girl that's interested in you will NEVER tell you she has other prospects. Soon as she said this you were OUT.

2. second girl on facebook - same thing but she gave me her number, called after two days , she didnt answer. couple of hours later i sent her a text saying its Joe and blah blah.. next day she answered she's in vacation for a couple of days. wrote , great and that's it. no response from her.

A girl has her phone on her all day but has to wait til the next day to respond to a simple message from you? You're OUT!

3. Another chick i talked on Facebook- got her number as well , called her - no response , didnt pay too much attention to it moved on. two days after that she send me a text , can i call? couple hours later i responded yes. she called and we talked for 20 min. i told her i want to meet her on Tuwsday , (the call was on sunday) she said lets talk on Tuesday. there was a big storm so it got delayed. On Thursday i called. she didn't picked up. no response from her.

The early sign was her waiting two days to send you a text. Now, I'm not one for texting, but if she was going to do that it would have easily been within the first day of you calling her. This was the "I have nothing else to do right now so I'll text him" message. The second sign of disinterest was when you said you wanted to hang out Tuesday and she said you should call back on Tuesday to talk more about it. Uh, NO - the reason you're calling on SUNDAY is to set up a date in ADVANCE so it will already be on your and her schedule. The fact that she wanted you to call back on the day the date was supposed to happen meant that she wanted to have 2 days to think up an excuse to get out of it. Always set up the date when you first call, and if they pull this crap it means they're not really interested and they're OUT.

4. another girl from Facebook, shows high interest- gave me her number. but Thursday i called she told me she was with her girl friend talking - she asked if she could call me later , said no problem. she didnt'. next day she semt a lame good morning text. responded . Yesterday i called her again- she told me she was with her sister and she will call me again. guess again? 10 mins ago she called me.

She said she was going to call but didn't? Low interest, she's OUT. Any girl that's seriously liked me has never told me she was going to call and then left me hanging. Why? 'Cause they respected me and my time too much to do that. Only girls that have low interest will "forget" to call you after they said they were going to.

What could you be doing better? One, stop getting the numbers BEFORE you get the date - you should be able to set up dates with these chicks on FB via a few messages. Then, once the date is set, get the number and only contact them in case of an emergency before the date. Two, stop doing "building rapport" calls and/or text message - they aren't necessary. You should only be using the phone to set up date plans. And three, have an ACTUAL PLAN of what you want to do with these chicks before asking them out. Part of your failure is having vague plans - "Let's try and do something on x-day" - which doesn't excite a woman or give her something concrete to look forward to, thus making her want to flake in case something more exciting than vague plans comes up. Have at least 5 places in town you can take a woman on a first date - coffee shop, restaurant, comedy club, etc. - and choose one that you can mention to her so she'll have something to look forward to.

That's all I got - hope this helps!

 

[zorg198]

Hello,

Thanks for all the explanations... the girl who said she will call did call. i just finished talking to her. i don't see any future with her but who cares. regarding the chick with the Tuesday meeting, should i text her to set up a date now or should i do it tomorrow? i mean i get what you wrote but i want to try another shot before i quit.

Joe.

 

[No.Danny]

Sample size is too small. Too much Facebook, you're expecting positive outcomes from girls you have no rapport with or common ground.
+ what did you expect it is thirstbook, where girls go for major attention.

 

[zorg198]

I am well aware of all your explanations. understood them.

I need to go out more and build my social network.. in addition to that start talking to girls in person because this facebook is sh1t.

Anyway.. i want to give last chance with this girl. i would like your help by knowing what to write to her so i could set a date.

Joe.

 

[zorg198]

Update-

The girl that was on vacation- send her a text yesterday (this is an idea i took from one of the brothers here)

Hey xxxx,

You look fine , your voice as well but to see you in person will be great. 22:00 PM tuesday. i thought she's not gonna respond but after 30 min she wrote.

hey- can you come eralier?

Wrote- 21:00
she wrote- lets settle on 20:00, you are tough negotiator.

All this sentences came with a stupid blushed smiley.

Me- wrote 20:30 and its final.
She- done and again with that stupid smiley.

Wrote her cool , have a great evening.

Again , stupid smiley.

What do you think? any chance for flake?