Some girl i know who i've fooled around with (make out /grope) and hung out with pretty much EVERY day for 3 years.... has ****ed 3 of my friends and is now starting to hang out with another 1. How should i handle this i still like hanging out with her and i dont really want a relationship with her but i've hung out with her almost every day for 3 years and im yet to **** her so i feel almost like i have to because i've spent so much time with her. Now my friend who was the biggest AFC i knew is starting to get more attention from her awell, so if he actualy ****s her ill feel like **** because i've put in so much time and i've only got 2 fool around
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how do deal with oneitis
- Thread starter wataf
- Start date
Igetit!
Moderator
So you're hung up over a girl who's running around sleeping with every guy she can get her hands on. From what you've described,it doesn't seem like she was ever your girlfriend. She's just some chick you felt up. And the fact the you've hung out with her every day for three years doesn't change that. You have the emotional attachment of a relationship without the actual relationship. I hate to say this,but I doubt that any advice anyone gives you at the moment will overcome the three years of emotions you currently have stored up in you for this girl. My advice would be to RUN away from this girl as fast as you can,but I don't see that happening.wataf said:
You'll probably just have to watch her fool around with 7 or 8 more guys over the next couple of years until you realize how much time you've wasted,then you'll wake up and back off from this girl.
i know i sound like the biggest loser ever the other problem is i havnt been layed in like 2 years and this girl knows it so she knows i dont really have any other girls in my life now.... the thing is 2 she always phones me wanting to hang out and i acuatly enjoy hanging out with her because i only have a few close friends..
Igetit!
Moderator
You see that part of your post I put in bold? You said that this girl knows you haven't been with any other girl in a long time. And she uses this knowledge against you. Answer me this:How does it make you feel knowing you've in a sense been with this girl for over three years,and you haven't been intimate with her in all that time,but just out of nowhere,she slept with three guys (and is working on a fourth)just like that? I know it tears you up inside. I don't even know you,and even I know this. So you know this girl who you've been with for 3 years know it as well. Does she care? Of course not.wataf said:
To her,she's the only girl in your life. She knows you don't have anybody elseon the radar right now,therefore,she takes you for granted. She can walk over,and fool around with other guy right in front of your face,and be PROUD about it. Why not? What are you going to do about it? What,go and find another girl? Yeah,right. She knows that she's the only woman in your life,so she can do whatever she wants because she knows once she's through running around with the other 5 or 6 guys,you'll still be there waiting for. Can you blame her? Why wouldn't she think this? You've already been there for 3 years. All she's doing is what YOU'VE allowed her to do.
All I can do is repeat what I said in my 1st post. You'll just have to put up with this nonsense until enough time (and guys) passes by until you look back at the past 10 years and realize how much time you've lost over someone who could care less about you.
Aaaah I've come a long way this was my first post on this site. A lot has changed in these roughly 4 years :rockon: And yes if anyone is curious I did end up having sex with this chick on numerous occasions.
All because I did what had to be done this girl went to Australia for over a year and I didn't try to talk to her, didnt message her did nothing of the sort. Only thing I did was try and master the art and better myself. I went out roughly 3 times a week to pick up girls ****ed many diferent girls and fooled around with countless. By the time she was back I was a changed man I had a new place a new car, 10 lbs of muscle, and a new out look on life and she could sense it I would go out with her and a few friends drinking when she came back and she could tell that pretty much every girl I talked to new me and wanted to hook up and I hate using the term but I was finally becoming alpha.
These days the original girls got a boyfriend and she lives far away so I never see her and I couldn't care less. However the lesson to be learned to all you with a serious case of ONEITIS is just gradually stop talking to the girl let her think youre busy. Work on bettering yourself hook up with as many girls as you can. As well as get turned down as many times as you can (eventually it doesn't hurt quite as much :yes: ). And as time passes you will either forget about the original girl or she will finally want to **** you.
So I'd like to say thanks to all my bros i've learned alot from this forum in my time here.
And oh yea the sex with this chick wasn't great definitely wasn't worth the stress I put myself through so many years ago
All because I did what had to be done this girl went to Australia for over a year and I didn't try to talk to her, didnt message her did nothing of the sort. Only thing I did was try and master the art and better myself. I went out roughly 3 times a week to pick up girls ****ed many diferent girls and fooled around with countless. By the time she was back I was a changed man I had a new place a new car, 10 lbs of muscle, and a new out look on life and she could sense it I would go out with her and a few friends drinking when she came back and she could tell that pretty much every girl I talked to new me and wanted to hook up and I hate using the term but I was finally becoming alpha.
These days the original girls got a boyfriend and she lives far away so I never see her and I couldn't care less. However the lesson to be learned to all you with a serious case of ONEITIS is just gradually stop talking to the girl let her think youre busy. Work on bettering yourself hook up with as many girls as you can. As well as get turned down as many times as you can (eventually it doesn't hurt quite as much :yes: ). And as time passes you will either forget about the original girl or she will finally want to **** you.
So I'd like to say thanks to all my bros i've learned alot from this forum in my time here.
And oh yea the sex with this chick wasn't great definitely wasn't worth the stress I put myself through so many years ago
Guys, even when you get to the point where beautiful women regularly throw themselves at you, they are still out of control and will still flake quite often.
But if you have to chase them just to get them to agree to going out? Forget it. You almost have to start with love at first sight these days to even get a date, and there are still no guarantees so strike when the iron is hot, and make them come as soon as possible.
But if you have to chase them just to get them to agree to going out? Forget it. You almost have to start with love at first sight these days to even get a date, and there are still no guarantees so strike when the iron is hot, and make them come as soon as possible.
I'm trying to understand what changes in the women , i mean - she first decline to go out with you and she's not interested. what goes in her mind to sudden change 180 degrees ? of course the change the man she refused to improved his life and appearance , but other than that is there any thing else?
The best way to deal with oneitis is to get as far away from her as possible.
Stop making excuses for her, stop trying to justify your oneitis, and just back off. The time and space will help you put things in perspective and start thinking like a man again.
There was something very interesting about your post that highlights the problem. You feel like you've invested too much in her to give up. This is the same mentality as a gambling addict. They gamble away some money, then spend more money trying to win it back and break even. The more they gamble, the more they lose and the more desperate they are to win anything back.
Right now, you're thinking you just want something to show for your trouble to make it worthwhile, but what you're actually doing is wasting more and more of your valuable time, energy and emotion on a girl that's dragging you further down.
Oneitis is an addiction, just like any other. It's an emotional high followed by an emotional come down that leaves you craving your next fix. The only way to break the addiction is to get far away from the source.
Stop making excuses for her, stop trying to justify your oneitis, and just back off. The time and space will help you put things in perspective and start thinking like a man again.
There was something very interesting about your post that highlights the problem. You feel like you've invested too much in her to give up. This is the same mentality as a gambling addict. They gamble away some money, then spend more money trying to win it back and break even. The more they gamble, the more they lose and the more desperate they are to win anything back.
Right now, you're thinking you just want something to show for your trouble to make it worthwhile, but what you're actually doing is wasting more and more of your valuable time, energy and emotion on a girl that's dragging you further down.
Oneitis is an addiction, just like any other. It's an emotional high followed by an emotional come down that leaves you craving your next fix. The only way to break the addiction is to get far away from the source.