Good sex, disrespectful wife and child

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Because I had no self respect.

Clearly, but how do you think you can shift from doormat to the Man she needs some discipline from?

 

[Bokanovsky]

It is natural for people to mistreat and abuse those whom they don't respect. This is genetically hardwired animal behaviour. It takes a person of strong character and morals to be courteous and polite to someone they consider pathetic and weak (especially when there are no repercussions for disrespectful behaviour).

 

[Aralius]

Will be very difficult to take the masculine role in this relationship again.

You thought about putting this bich in a headlock? Nah joking don't do that lol

Anyway I heard you mention that you have been getting the sex life right and on track etc?

Could it be that you prioritised sex over maintaining boundaries in the relationship?

Long story short, I've disregarded her bitchiness until we had a child that she started name calling. I resented her and hated myself for being ignorant, I wanted to delete myself, got over that thanks to searching for answers online, stumbled upon redpill material, Rollo, Rian Stone, read Married Man Sexlife Primer, and other books recommended.

I now know to initiate and get what I want, but 1000 feet tow rope feels like 10000 feet.

All that matter to me is my kid's feelings and how she could **** him up and make him hate me.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Long story short, I've disregarded her bitchiness until we had a child that she started name calling. I resented her and hated myself for being ignorant, I wanted to delete myself, got over that thanks to searching for answers online, stumbled upon redpill material, Rollo, Rian Stone, read Married Man Sexlife Primer, and other books recommended.

I now know to initiate and get what I want, but 1000 feet tow rope feels like 10000 feet.

All that matter to me is my kid's feelings and how she could **** him up and make him hate me.

Did you check out my input?

 

[soulforge]

Long story short, I've disregarded her bitchiness until we had a child that she started name calling. I resented her and hated myself for being ignorant, I wanted to delete myself, got over that thanks to searching for answers online, stumbled upon redpill material, Rollo, Rian Stone, read Married Man Sexlife Primer, and other books recommended.

I now know to initiate and get what I want, but 1000 feet tow rope feels like 10000 feet.

All that matter to me is my kid's feelings and how she could **** him up and make him hate me.

There is some good advice here on this thread. Please read it.

 

[MtmVaott]

Your best option is to tell her how it makes you feel when she calls you xyz.
Not like in "calling me idiot makes me feel dumb".
More like "When you call me idiot I feel deeply hurt, especially because I love you and you're the mother of my child and ...". You get the picture, it has to come from the heart. Refrain from doing accusations.
Depending on her reaction, you will have your answer if this is worth staying in or if you should secretely prepare for divorce.
The benefit of doing it like this is that you are behaving completely respectful. She has no reason to blame you. If you make accusations or threats you are giving her a free licence to do the same.
However, I have no real idea about your situation so this should be just general advice on how to interact with people.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Hey guys.

I've been in a 13 year LTR, of which 7 years married, 4yo boy.
It's been a year or so since I started reading RP material. NMMNG, WISNIFG, Sex God method, The Rational Male for the sole reason return to the good old days when my wife initiated sex.
Problem is, after getting sexlife "sorted out" she still name calls me, like she did since we met.
Biggest problem is that the kid learned to name call me and others, just like my wife does (idiot, stupid, retard etc.) whenever he acts bratty or gets into an argument with other children.
I keep explaining to him why it's wrong to talk like that but it all for nothing because the wife keeps talking like this all the time.
I feel like **** when my kid is calling me names in public.
I guess this is just a vent, but I'm curios if any of you went through the same thing and how you dealt with it.

You already pointed out the problem... "Since we met".

You allowed it to happen right off the bat in the relationship and by putting up with it, you have silently told her you have no self-respect or dignity for yourself, so why should she have any for you?

 

[soulforge]

You already pointed out the problem... "Since we met".

You allowed it to happen right off the bat in the relationship and by putting up with it, you have silently told her you have no self-respect or dignity for yourself, so why should she have any for you?

He got the sex life back on track though

 

[Gamisch]

Great advice

Just wanna add one thing thats missing: A child will (subconsciously) feel a form of approval whem he does this. Yes . He calls op an idiot, and mommy is happier. The child wil use it as a manipulation/survival tactic. Because believe me, that kid knows ALL about mommas scorn .

Here's what i wouid di( and qhat i did); Walk away. Tell her you wont take it anymore, and walk.


Walk away. Thats it. Child or no child. Walk away OP. Immediately.

 

[Gamisch]

He got the sex life back on track though

I've learned that there's no such thing as a good sexlife when your life is shyte.

It might be the best feeling available in a shyte situation, but sex with a woman who respects you is MUCH better!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

He got the sex life back on track though

At what cost? His self-respect is still in the gutter. How long is he planning on letting it stay there?

 

[soulforge]

I've learned that there's no such thing as a good sexlife when your life is shyte.

It might be the best feeling available in a shyte situation, but sex with a woman who respects you is MUCH better!

I said that with a hint of sarcasm.

And agreed, I actually feel turned off by a disrespectful woman or a woman who is making my life difficult.

I actually find it difficult to even get hard around them.

 

[Aralius]

You have not mentioned anything about you assessing your wife’s behavior. Have you ever dealt with this head on with her?

1. State my problem and see if she understands it. And yes, I'd let her know how angry I am. You can simply say what will be the consequences of continued disrespect.
2. If she expressed understanding and respected me, both of us would inform the child that name calling parents is bad and must end, and follow through with disciplinary action if it is done again.

If that did not work, and the problem continued and I kept being emotionally abused, I would move onto other steps.

1. Inform my woman that I will no longer stand for this and because I want to salvage the marriage, I shall remain in the home, but lead a separate life, but with no intention of cheating or seeking other women. Aside form being there for taking care of children (family dinner, education, recreation, helping them with whatever else, showing love), I would come and go as I please. Kids are asleep or with in-laws? OK, see ya.
2. No sex, no affection.
3. Communicate in a respectful manner and keep a peaceful home for the children. When children are not present, communicate on a need-to-know basis.
4. Cease going to all social events as a couple, including those with in-laws.
5. Stop having my checks go to a joint account.

I've dealt with it by being an ******* back at her and it didn't work.
Then I did the second one, partially, because I was so pissed. It didn't take long before she got her mojo back and started acting up again.

Before I got sexlife back on track, I waited for 3 (three) months to see if she initiates but no result. Seems to me like I have to do all the work. She likes it, but I'd like for her to say she wants it once in a while.

I'm still reading NMMNG and figurig stuff out.

I've been through so much ****, that it's hard for me to tell her I love her. Maybe "the thrill is gone".

 

[Aralius]

I've learned that there's no such thing as a good sexlife when your life is shyte.

It might be the best feeling available in a shyte situation, but sex with a woman who respects you is MUCH better!

You're right. It feels good because I started to take control and tell her what to do, not worrying about how she feels anymore.
If I'm horny and she's mean to me, I just lose interest.

 

[Aralius]

Great advice

Just wanna add one thing thats missing: A child will (subconsciously) feel a form of approval whem he does this. Yes . He calls op an idiot, and mommy is happier. The child wil use it as a manipulation/survival tactic. Because believe me, that kid knows ALL about mommas scorn .

Here's what i wouid di( and qhat i did); Walk away. Tell her you wont take it anymore, and walk.


Walk away. Thats it. Child or no child. Walk away OP. Immediately.

I live in the house her father bought for her/us, after we had the baby.
I walked away for 2 days right after Christmas dinner, when I had just goten into RP and over deleting thoughts. The kid was acting up and she said she can't wait for him to grow up and be suicidal. I went to my hometown, 150 miles from work. It wasn't an opțional because the commute was too long.
After 3 months I did it again, for a week, after she called me a peasant and that I was a plot person (pauper) before I met her.

I know what me coming back home means. I ****ed up.

Reason I stay in this marriage is because I am afraid my child will grow up with different kind of problems. My dad did time for 5 years and even though he came back in the family he still worked away from home, along with my mom and I kind of try to not make my son go through the same thing in his youth. It's like I'm trying to be a better dad than mine was and take **** from wife just for the sake of my son not growing up with father away/parents separated.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I've dealt with it by being an ******* back at her and it didn't work.

Over the course of my life, I’ve noticed that a an aggressors are totally unfazed by people they don’t respect “being d—s”. It actually can be a source or entertainment or gaslighting.

“See, you’re the one who’s flipping out.”

“See, you’re the one who can’t take a joke.”

“It was just a joke.”

People with a sadistic streak do not f—king care when victims lash out; it is what they want! Why else would someone call someone names other than to hurt him?

Such people need to be dealt with seriously or cut off. Of course you don’t have to take a stranger’s ideas, but what I outlined is serious and it would show you mean business.

This is even one of the reasons I don’t engage in online insult matches or e-beef. I will not remain in abusive relationships or interactions.

 

[Aralius]

There is no easy way out. As it seems, she either never had any respect for you or is just low class trash that belongs to the streets.

You are at a point where you need to make a decision for the sake of your kid. If you let this level of disrespect continue, your kind will end up as the same pile of trash his mother is and could end up in jail sooner or later due to a lack of a strong fatherly role model in his life.

YOU are personally responsible for your boy to learn what it means to respect someone. How are you going to teach that boy ANY values at all if he thinks you are an idiot?

For the sake of your boys future, you CANT tolerate that level of disrespect any longer.

Look that biatch of a woman in the eye and tell her this **** stops or you are checking out of this relationship.

Make no mistake, you NEED TO MEAN IT and follow through if neccessary!

If you cant walk away right now, get yourself in a position where you can walk away at any point BEFORE you escalate with that biatch.

Otherwise she will call your bluff and lose even more respect if there is any left.

Talk to a lawyer about an exit scenario, get your finances together, have a plan B so you wont be homeless and can continue life.

It is better to walk away with dignity then your kid seeing you as his wifes doormat for the next 15 years.





I was there man, bluepilled AF and had to learn my lesson the hard way.

My wife turned int a harpy when our kid was born. My life turned into hell for 1,5 years untill i managed to overcome her. The last 4 years have been way better and stable, while it is still a fight to keep her in line.
I dont think you will ever get this behaviour completely out of a woman. The best thing is to keep her in check for as long as it takes.

How did you fare after you sorted things out? How are your kids holding up in this environment? Are they on anyones side?

In my marriage i totally see that my wife is trying hard to take every decision from me that she can get away with. Choosing a school over the one that i would have wanted for example.

In my oppinion, for the first years mommy is everything for kids. What i am trying to work out now is, when will the boy(6) stop being mommys boy and how can i get him on my side.

Any suggestions/experiences?

I am going to talk to a lawyer for an exit scenario. It has been on my mind for some time.
I also have an out, soon I'll be able to move in my mom's apartment, which she took a loan for, after me telling her what I'm going through.
I know wife won't actually change because her parents let her grow up this way. She'll just try to contain herself, and then burst, like it has happened before.
My kid take sides only if me and wife don't agree on things. If we're both on the same page about discipline, he calls us both stupid. So there's that.
I've not been the one to make decisions in the relationship, because I felt more comfortable this way.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

The kid was acting up and she said she can't wait for him to grow up and be suicidal. I went to my hometown, 150 miles from work. It wasn't an opțional because the commute was too long.
After 3 months I did it again, for a week, after she called me a peasant and that I was a plot person (pauper) before I met her.

I know what me coming back home means. I ****ed up.

Reason I stay in this marriage is because I am afraid my child will grow up with different kind of problems. My dad did time for 5 years and even though he came back in the family he still worked away from home, along with my mom and I kind of try to not make my son go through the same thing in his youth. It's like I'm trying to be a better dad than mine was and take **** from wife just for the sake of my son not growing up with father away/parents separated.

Did you ever consider getting custody over the kid? I mean, a mother wishing for her kid to be suicidal should be fine with getting rid of her kid?

I tell you something, its way better to be poor then being abused for the next 15 years.

I can relate to your wish to be there for your son, its why i am still married, but if you stay in a relationship like that until your kid is grown, it will kill you, one way or the other.

As that cvnt has no respect for you, my guess is its only a matter of time until she replaces you aka monkeybranches.

What was it that attracted her to you initially/ why did she marrie you? What do you have going for yourself/how do other women react to you? Hows your income, fitnes, looks.... how would you rate yourself from 1-10? How would you rate your wife from 1-10?

Depending on your market value you might turn this around with "dread game", scaring the **** out of her to lose you.

I am going to talk to a lawyer for an exit scenario. It has been on my mind for some time.
I also have an out, soon I'll be able to move in my mom's apartment, which she took a loan for, after me telling her what I'm going through.
I know wife won't actually change because her parents let her grow up this way. She'll just try to contain herself, and then burst, like it has happened before.
My kid take sides only if me and wife don't agree on things. If we're both on the same page about discipline, he calls us both stupid. So there's that.
I've not been the one to make decisions in the relationship, because I felt more comfortable this way.

God bless mom! Thats at least something you can build uppon.

You made some ****ty choices, you gotta let that behind you now and focus on building a new life, starting YESTERDAY with becoming the best version of yourself.

 

[Divorced w 3]

He is married with kids, so simply Walking out isn't the solution in his case.

Yes it is. He’s better off as a father and a man doing things the right way 50% of the time then having it wrong all the time. Being deluded that this behavior is going to stop, that she has respect for him, and that their kids are going to do well in an environment like that, is NOT the solution.

 

[Aralius]

Did you ever consider getting custody over the kid? I mean, a mother wishing for her kid to be suicidal should be fine with getting rid of her kid?

I tell you something, its way better to be poor then being abused for the next 15 years.

I can relate to your wish to be there for your son, its why i am still married, but if you stay in a relationship like that until your kid is grown, it will kill you, one way or the other.

As that cvnt has no respect for you, my guess is its only a matter of time until she replaces you aka monkeybranches.

What was it that attracted her to you initially/ why did she marrie you? What do you have going for yourself/how do other women react to you? Hows your income, fitnes, looks.... how would you rate yourself from 1-10? How would you rate your wife from 1-10?

Depending on your market value you might turn this around with "dread game", scaring the **** out of her to lose you.



God bless mom! Thats at least something you can build uppon.

You made some ****ty choices, you gotta let that behind you now and focus on building a new life, starting YESTERDAY with becoming the best version of yourself.

I've actually thought about it, as she sometimes said to take the kid and go live with my mother, cause she's the one who wants us to divorce. I don't think I'll be able to take care of him all by myself. Maybe 50/50.

I may seem naive, but I really don't see her as a monkeybrancher. Just very anxios and BPD type.

I hooked up with her because of same taste in music and because we had a lot of sex.

I am 6'5", 90 kg, not ugly, fit, workout for almost 6 year about 3 times a week, 13-14% BF, have a job, income not so great (male nurse in Romania) , 2 motorcycles, play guitar in my free time, I get IOIʼs from women very often but have never took advantage because of low self esteem and anxiety.
I would rate myself a 7 or 8-9(if I had game and a better paying job).
I would rate her as a 5-6.
This right here is the mind**** and frustration. I know I can do better, without having to constantly deal with her BS.

Dread game combined with Sex God Method really helped for having more sex in the marriage. But what I thought were **** tests seem like they are really her being BPD/anxious all the time. It's tiring to always be on my toes to know how to respond. STFU worked best.

Her family helped me out a lot when I was struggling with a job so I have this guilt hanging over my head if I take the next step (divorce).