Girlfriend still talks with ex who has strong feelings for her:

[Heaven or Hell]

Okay well I'll cut to the chase.

What would you do if you found out that your girlfriend still talks to her ex, that she even admitted to you has strong feelings for her still?

Some Background:​

1. She was oversea's for a year and dated him for the majority of that year

2. They did not break up willingly, but both agreed that the distance wasn;t going to work once she came back from being overseas

3. She says he was a great bf and things were great

4. She is aware if the fact that he still has strong feelings for her and wants to get back with her in the future

5. They broke up at the end of last year (end of 2009)

Okay, so given the above information, I have recently found out that she has been speaking to him regularly, and this is a little concerning to me for the following reasons:​

1. If he still has such strong emotions / feelings towards her, then surely there must be something on her behalf too? Even though she denies it to me

2. The fact that they still talk worries me because its inevitable that me and her will fight from time to time, or argue etc, and I know that he will always be there and pounce on every opportunity to influence her while she may be at a vulnerable mindset for whatever reason (ie: when we have argument or when things are a bit bumpy, as in any relationship from time to time)

3. Why would she want to keep contact with him knowing that he feels the way that he does? I know from my own experience with my ex's that the best way to get over, and let them get over it, is to cut contact, but for some reason, even though she knows how he still feels about her, she still keeps in regular contact with him?

4. I can just imagine the tone / manner in which they speak to each other, because lets face it, anyone with a romantic past (especially given that they didn't end their relationship by choice) will never be able to see each other completely as just friends, especially given that he still feels so deeply about her, so I am sure that their conversations are far from just "friends" type of thing.​

Anyways, I'm not sure what the best way to approach / deal with this would be, because if I bring it up to her I can guarantee that she will probably think that I'm being insecure and possessive even, where-as in my head there is a fine line between being insecure/possessive and simply standing up for myself / my feelings.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? (Keeping in mind that this girl, aside from the little things here & there, is perfect for me, I love everything about her so the pro's outweigh the cons by far, but fact remains that this is still a very real issue with potential to be very damaging in the long run.. at least that's how I feel about it currently)

Thanks for the time and advise in advance, it means a lot to me.​

 

[EFFORT]

Spin more plates....

 

[Scion]

I'd start to look for a replacement. Continue to use her for sex, but ditch her once you've picked up a couple new plates. The fact that she's going out of her way to talk to a ex that lives in another country is reason enough to ditch her.

 

[Heaven or Hell]

Spin more plates....

I am a one woman kinda guy, call me old fashioned, but that's how I am I have never cheated on a girl before and never want to. I am 28 years old, and she is 25, we're both thinking of settling down, but this issue worries me a bit with her ex, so while your suggestion might help someone of a different nature, its not for me, but I appreciate your input none the less.

 

[Scion]

I am a one woman kinda guy, call me old fashioned, but that's how I am I have never cheated on a girl before and never want to. I am 28 years old, and she is 25, we're both thinking of settling down, but this issue worries me a bit with her ex, so while your suggestion might help someone of a different nature, its not for me, but I appreciate your input none the less.

she's not LTR material unless she stops talking with her exs. It's that simple.

 

[falcon814]

I am a one woman kinda guy, call me old fashioned, but that's how I am I have never cheated on a girl before and never want to. I am 28 years old, and she is 25, we're both thinking of settling down, but this issue worries me a bit with her ex, so while your suggestion might help someone of a different nature, its not for me, but I appreciate your input none the less.

One woman kinda guys r the ones that will be posting here later saying their girl left them.

Save yourself the heartbreak and have other options man.

 

[Heaven or Hell]

I'd start to look for a replacement. Continue to use her for sex, but ditch her once you've picked up a couple new plates. The fact that she's going out of her way to talk to a ex that lives in another country is reason enough to ditch her.

This woman isn't just another girl to me, she's actually impressed me in a lot of ways, the person she is, her personality and the way she looks at life etc is perfect for me, I'm looking to settle down soon and I really think that she may just be the one for me. I have been through a lot of women in my life but none have come even close to her. That said, she is not perfect, and next`ing isn;t an option for me at this time, I wanna try and find a constructive way to deal with the issue at hand, instead of quitting and looking for someone else. There is a lot more good about this girl as appose to bad, so its a matter of sorting through the small things such as this that I am trying to do now.

For the record, she isnt really gong out of her way to speak to them, they speak over IM, which she uses anyways to speak to me and some of her other friends.

Could you please give advise on how you would tackle this issue.. I am not looking for advise on how to ignore it/ not deal with it/look elsewhere, because that does not tackle the issue that is at hand. If a car air con isn;t working I'm not gonna go looking for another car, I'm gonna try and find the best way to fix the aircon, because I love everything else about the car and its perfect for me. I hope this clarifies my mindset a bit more so that you can give me a more accurate response/advise.

Thanks again for the time, I appreciate it!

 

[falcon814]

This woman isn't just another girl to me, she's actually impressed me in a lot of ways, the person she is, her personality and the way she looks at life etc is perfect for me, I'm looking to settle down soon and I really think that she may just be the one for me. I have been through a lot of women in my life but none have come even close to her. That said, she is not perfect, and next`ing isn;t an option for me at this time, I wanna try and find a constructive way to deal with the issue at hand, instead of quitting and looking for someone else. There is a lot more good about this girl as appose to bad, so its a matter of sorting through the small things such as this that I am trying to do now.

For the record, she isnt really gong out of her way to speak to them, they speak over IM, which she uses anyways to speak to me and some of her other friends.

Could you please give advise on how you would tackle this issue.. I am not looking for advise on how to ignore it/ not deal with it/look elsewhere, because that does not tackle the issue that is at hand. If a car air con isn;t working I'm not gonna go looking for another car, I'm gonna try and find the best way to fix the aircon, because I love everything else about the car and its perfect for me. I hope this clarifies my mindset a bit more so that you can give me a more accurate response/advise.

Thanks again for the time, I appreciate it!

There is no way you can suddenly make her not have feelings for him. I mean if you think shes that perfect then marry her but i dont know you can knowing that this girl likes another man..

 

[Scion]

This woman isn't just another girl to me, she's actually impressed me in a lot of ways, the person she is, her personality and the way she looks at life etc is perfect for me, I'm looking to settle down soon and I really think that she may just be the one for me. I have been through a lot of women in my life but none have come even close to her. That said, she is not perfect, and next`ing isn;t an option for me at this time, I wanna try and find a constructive way to deal with the issue at hand, instead of quitting and looking for someone else. There is a lot more good about this girl as appose to bad, so its a matter of sorting through the small things such as this that I am trying to do now.

For the record, she isnt really gong out of her way to speak to them, they speak over IM, which she uses anyways to speak to me and some of her other friends.

Could you please give advise on how you would tackle this issue.. I am not looking for advise on how to ignore it/ not deal with it/look elsewhere, because that does not tackle the issue that is at hand. If a car air con isn;t working I'm not gonna go looking for another car, I'm gonna try and find the best way to fix the aircon, because I love everything else about the car and its perfect for me. I hope this clarifies my mindset a bit more so that you can give me a more accurate response/advise.

Thanks again for the time, I appreciate it!

tell her to stop talking to her exs, say you find it very disrespectful to you (it is). especially an ex that she knows wants to get back together with her. If she won't do that then I'd get rid of her because not only does she not respect but she will most likely cheat on you in the future.

 

[Trader]

Okay well I'll cut to the chase.

What would you do if you found out that your girlfriend still talks to her ex, that she even admitted to you has strong feelings for her still?

Some Background:​

1. She was oversea's for a year and dated him for the majority of that year

2. They did not break up willingly, but both agreed that the distance wasn;t going to work once she came back from being overseas

3. She says he was a great bf and things were great

4. She is aware if the fact that he still has strong feelings for her and wants to get back with her in the future

5. They broke up at the end of last year (end of 2009)

Okay, so given the above information, I have recently found out that she has been speaking to him regularly, and this is a little concerning to me for the following reasons:​

1. If he still has such strong emotions / feelings towards her, then surely there must be something on her behalf too? Even though she denies it to me

2. The fact that they still talk worries me because its inevitable that me and her will fight from time to time, or argue etc, and I know that he will always be there and pounce on every opportunity to influence her while she may be at a vulnerable mindset for whatever reason (ie: when we have argument or when things are a bit bumpy, as in any relationship from time to time)

3. Why would she want to keep contact with him knowing that he feels the way that he does? I know from my own experience with my ex's that the best way to get over, and let them get over it, is to cut contact, but for some reason, even though she knows how he still feels about her, she still keeps in regular contact with him?

4. I can just imagine the tone / manner in which they speak to each other, because lets face it, anyone with a romantic past (especially given that they didn't end their relationship by choice) will never be able to see each other completely as just friends, especially given that he still feels so deeply about her, so I am sure that their conversations are far from just "friends" type of thing.​

Anyways, I'm not sure what the best way to approach / deal with this would be, because if I bring it up to her I can guarantee that she will probably think that I'm being insecure and possessive even, where-as in my head there is a fine line between being insecure/possessive and simply standing up for myself / my feelings.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? (Keeping in mind that this girl, aside from the little things here & there, is perfect for me, I love everything about her so the pro's outweigh the cons by far, but fact remains that this is still a very real issue with potential to be very damaging in the long run.. at least that's how I feel about it currently)

Thanks for the time and advise in advance, it means a lot to me.​

Just because she is your girlfriend doesn't mean her interest level in you is through the roof.

If she was *really* into you - why would she bother to keep contacting her ex? Look in the mirror long and hard.

 

[5string]

It would be wrong to tell her not to talk to him. She has a right to do that. Either drop kick her arse out of your life, or be prepared to be dumped once she takes her ex back. After all of your emotional investment, you'll find yourself sitting there saying WTF! Those guys told me this would happen. Don't let yourself get hurt.

 

[Brighty]

I am a one woman kinda guy, call me old fashioned, but that's how I am I have never cheated on a girl before and never want to. I am 28 years old, and she is 25, we're both thinking of settling down, but this issue worries me a bit with her ex, so while your suggestion might help someone of a different nature, its not for me, but I appreciate your input none the less.

The way I see it, this means one of two things:

1. She loves the attention, she loves to have guys fawning over her and that is why she is stringing this guy along. So, cool, she's not actually thinking about her feelings with this guy, but at the same time this is a huge sign of a bigger problem to come that may be just as big of a headache.

2. I think you know what the other one is - she still has feelings for him or at least they're small enough to keep talking to him.

Now, just so I don't have a guilty conscience about this, I'm going to say what you don't want to hear first and get it out of the way: Either way, I don't think she's the kind of girl you want to marry. What kind of self-respecting girl keeps talking to their recent ex a lot (I say a lot because its obviously at the point where it's bothering you) when they're in a relationship with another guy? Its simple etiquette out of respect to yourself and to your partner. This is not one you want having your kids. She's 25, I doubt she's oblivious to this, she has to realize what she's doing and why it's wrong.

Also, define cheating. If you consider talking to other girls and looking for that spark to get into a relationship with cheating, then you might want to look at what your girlfriend is doing right now.

For the record, she isnt really gong out of her way to speak to them, they speak over IM, which she uses anyways to speak to me and some of her other friends.

Going on Instant Messanger is not going out of your way, at all, for anything. So that's not really a good example.

Could you please give advise on how you would tackle this issue.. I am not looking for advise on how to ignore it/ not deal with it/look elsewhere, because that does not tackle the issue that is at hand. If a car air con isn;t working I'm not gonna go looking for another car, I'm gonna try and find the best way to fix the aircon, because I love everything else about the car and its perfect for me. I hope this clarifies my mindset a bit more so that you can give me a more accurate response/advise.

Barring my advice above, you really have three feasible options:

1. Confront her about it (you already have before, but this time be assertive) but not in a degrading way, just tell her how you feel about this situation and that she shouldn't be talking to her ex this much, especially since you know the other reason they broke up is because of the distance or something and especially since the guy is like in love with her. Tell her its in the past and she needs to focus on the relationship now, tell her that what she's doing is making you uneasy. If she cares about you more than her ex she will not want to make you feel uncomfortable, and she will stop doing it. Honestly gauge her reaction to this, if you're met with a lot of resistance then you need to wake up and realize that this girl obviously was not meant for you, despite how you feel about her now. If she won't stop texting her ex after all these reasons, then you need to get the hell out of there, because not only is she disrespecting you by doing it in the first place, she's DOUBLY disrespecting you by denying your request for her to stop it.

2. Have you ever seen what kind of conversations they've been having? Check her AIM or her phone texts or something. Are they just friendly or are they more intimate? Of course you may get inconclusive or inaccurate results but if for some reason you don't have the balls to confront her then that's probably your best bet.

3. Ignore it and ultimately let her be in charge of the relationship AKA offer your testicles up on a silver platter to her. Don't do this one. Please don't do this one.

That said, I would've been done with this girl if everything you're saying is true. I don't give a **** if I'm 28 and looking to settle down, I'm going to look a little longer and make sure I pick the right one instead of some disrespectful *****.

Hope it works out, good luck.

 

[Kailex]

Could you please give advise on how you would tackle this issue.. I am not looking for advise on how to ignore it/ not deal with it/look elsewhere, because that does not tackle the issue that is at hand. If a car air con isn;t working I'm not gonna go looking for another car, I'm gonna try and find the best way to fix the aircon, because I love everything else about the car and its perfect for me. I hope this clarifies my mindset a bit more so that you can give me a more accurate response/advise.

Faulty analogy, because sometimes you'll go to the mechanic and all you think it needs is the "gas" to be refilled... and then all of a sudden he says there is a faulty line, and the compressor needs fixing, and while he was looking at the compressor, he noticed your time belt needed fixing and then on and on and on...

At that point, it's definitely better to just get a new car than to try to cost the repairs.

Be careful, she's getting an emotional fix from someone that isn't nearby, which means that you necessarily aren't filling the void for her. If you were, she wouldn't have to feel the need to talk to him.

The girl that you think is so perfect, could actually become a lemon.

And just for clarification sake. You say that they broke up at the end of 2009, which ideally gives you LESS than a year of truly being with this girl. There's no way in the BLUE HELL that you could be sure that this might be the "one" for you.

Confront her, and she'll switch it up on you.
Let it slide, and you'll have to deal with it forever.

Either way, you're going to lose this battle.
And in turn the war.

And that shiny 2010 Lexus all of a sudden seems less reliable and what was a simple problem with the air conditioner, ended up being the grand revealing of a lemon.

 

[Chromeo]

Ok listen, people have had other connections and bonded with other people. She will continue to do so throughout life and so will you.

I will admit im am just coming to terms with this as well. But no guy and no girl will ever be the only special person someones had in their life.

Have fun with the time you get to spend with her. Dont worry about some guy she dated thats a million miles away.

If after some time you still dont think she is placing value on your relationship, your obviously looking for a girl who does, tell her you dont think its gonna work out and go get the girl you want

 

[Scion]

Ok listen, people have had other connections and bonded with other people. She will continue to do so throughout life and so will you.

I will admit im am just coming to terms with this as well. But no guy and no girl will ever be the only special person someones had in their life.

Have fun with the time you get to spend with her. Dont worry about some guy she dated thats a million miles away.

If after some time you still dont think she is placing value on your relationship, your obviously looking for a girl who does, tell her you dont think its gonna work out and go get the girl you want

the only problem is this guy isn't willing to walk away. He thinks she the "one", the only girl he can be happy with. He'd rather find a way to turn her into the girl he wants rather than be single and look for that girl. This is gonna fail big time.

 

[Chromeo]

So I mean he should just be happy with her then, he has her.

But when you have oneitis having someone isnt enough, you want to eat, sleep and breathe them, you cant squeeze them hard enough, you cant ball them deep enough.

its illogical. you cant do that to someone. Its like puting "the one" in shackles in throwing her in a dungeon. You love her, you dont want her to get away. But you dont really love them, your really scared that nobody loves you, and you need to protect that and or enslave it. You dont shackle someone you love.

 

[-Heaven Or Hell-]

Hey, for some reason I have a 10 post count limit, so I couldn't reply unless I made another account *frustration* - This is still me just on different account.

Anyways:

There is no way you can suddenly make her not have feelings for him. I mean if you think shes that perfect then marry her but i dont know you can knowing that this girl likes another man..

I know this, which is also why I am wondering if maybe we got involved a little too soon? But the thing is, is that when we are together and even when we're not she text's me several times a day(even when I don't text her back), she leaves me love notes, buys me presents even if its not for an occasion, and really seems like she genuinely loves me and is 100% committed to me. When we are together things are amazing, I couldn't be happier with anyone, and I feel like the feeling is mutual from her side too. She even insists on paying sometimes when we go out.

tell her to stop talking to her exs, say you find it very disrespectful to you (it is). especially an ex that she knows whats to get back together with her. If she won't do that then I'd get rid of her because not only does she not respect but she will most likely cheat on you in the future.

I think that I will bring it up to her, I'm thinking of asking her "Don't you think that you should give your ex (I'll use his name) some space to get over you? Because to be honest it does bother me a little that you two are speaking knowing how he feels about you still"

But then I can imagine her response would be something along the lines of "Don't worry I promise nothing is going to happen, my heart belongs only to you and nothing will ever change that, me and (ex's name) have shared a lot of wonderful memories together but I am yours now" .. Or something along those lines. - What am I meant to respond to that? Because I do trust her, I really do, she really isn't the type to cheat, its not wishful thinking, if you knew her in real life you would understand why I feel like she would never cheat, its just not like her.

The best response to what she says that comes to my mind would be: "I know that and I trust you with all my heart, I really do, but I still think its wrong and I don't actually understand why you want to keep in contact with him, especially given the way he still feels about you, I wont lie, it bothers me and I'm just being honest with you"

But this is where I would feel bad and feel like I am controlling her and her decisions... I mean... doesn't she have the right to be friends with someone? If she trusts herself enough to be able to be his friend and genuinely not have any other type of interest in him, then shouldn't I trust her judgment?

Just because she is your girlfriend doesn't mean her interest level in you is through the roof.

If she was *really* into you - why would she bother to keep contacting her ex? Look in the mirror long and hard.

She is a very big hearted warm person, she feels bad about being rude and is the type to panic just at the thought of being judged or wondering what people think of her, so even if a stranger (man or women) had to ask her to do a favor that most people would respond by saying "pissoff", she would be the one that might just do it because she feels too bad saying no, or hurting someone's feelings etc. So this is most likely the reason that she doesn't cut contact with him... that.. and also perhaps that she still likes the person he is (which is what probably attracted her to him to begin with.. so as a person she likes who he is and still probably enjoys talking to him... so I can understand, on some level, why she would still be talking to him.

That said, I still feel and think that its wrong for her to be speaking to him majorly because of the way he still feels about her. If he was over her and didn't want more from her then I would be far more understanding, but since he feels the way he does, I just don't feel like its right for her to be speaking with him. But at the same time, I don't want to control her and hurt her feelings and make her cut contact with him when in her mind she really does view him as just a friend and is positive in her mind that nothing will ever happen between them again in the future. So from her perspective I'll be forcing her to cut contact with a friend/someone she enjoys speaking to over something that she will probably view as me being insecure and possessive.

It would be wrong to tell her not to talk to him. She has a right to do that. Either drop kick her arse out of your life, or be prepared to be dumped once she takes her ex back. After all of your emotional investment, you'll find yourself sitting there saying WTF! Those guys told me this would happen. Don't let yourself get hurt.

So she does have a right to talk to him? Given the way he feels about her? because in my mind, if I had an ex that I knew was still in love with me, and I was in a new relationship, I would do everything I could to distance myself from her, maybe I would talk to her once in a blue moon type of thing, but most certainly not on a regular basis.. hmmm.. & like i said, kicking her out my life isn't really an option for me right now, is it fair to say that I am willing to take the chance of getting hurt? Because I honestly am, the worst that will happen is I'll get hurt, I'll learn a lot, and I'll move on... eventually.

@ Brighty:

So are you saying that unless she has feelings for him, or that she loves the attention / being desired by him, there is no room for any innocent / genuine reasons for her wanting to keep him in her life? (ie: As I mentioned earlier perhaps she simply enjoys the person he is / the conversations they have etc, and maybe he is a special person to her in her life but in a completely non unfaithful way, he brought a lot of goodness and positivity into her life and was a good friend (bf is also a friend on some level), so maybe she really has genuine innocent reason to want to keep in contact with him?

When I confront her about how I feel about it I will look out for her reaction, but even then, if she puts up a lot of resistance maybe that could also be innocent because she really cares about his friendship(not anything else), i mean, its a possibility isn't it? And if it is, then I would be wrong by forcing her not to speak to him, won't I? Though I don't think it would be wrong for the reason that he still feels strongly about her and I don't think its right for her to be talking to him it really does make me feel awkward/uneasy.

I havn't seen any of their convo's, and I dont think I could bring myself to "spy" on her, so I will just have to take her word for it when I bring this topic up (the tone of their conversations)

Anyways, thanks for the replies guys, I feel more confident in confronting her about this now, and to speak my mind, because I feel like I'm not just being insecure and possessive about this issue. I know that if I were in her shoes, and if I currently had an ex that was still in love with me, I would feel wrong talking to her if I am in a relationship with another women, and I would do everything I could to create distance between myself and my ex.. and I feel like she should naturally be feeling like she should do the same, without me having to make a big deal of it.. but maybe she just isn't mature or considerate or experienced enough in life to understand / realize that its wrong... so I guess the ultimate test will be when I bring all this to light, enlighten her to how I see things, and then see how she responds/reacts to it.

I'm seeing her again this weekend, I'm picking her up (she doesn't have a car right now due to it getting fixed), but I am afraid that if I confront her about it at my house and things go bad then it will be one hell of an awkward ride back to her house, so when I pick her up I'm gonna stop the car round the corner and bring it up.. god why do relationships have to be so complicated? I'll let you know how things go by the end of the weekend, I hope she understands where I am coming from..

p.s.: I just thought about it.. u know the saying "we want what we cant have more than what we can get" ? So what if after I speak to her about it and she does cut him out, that she will possibly want him more because she will feel like she can't have him now? If you know what I mean? Its like if someone told me I cant see my friend this week, then somewhere in my head I would wanna see him this week even more than if I wasn't told that i couldnt see him, just because I psychologically wanna have the feeling of not being forced to make decisions but rather have the freedom to make them myself... I duno, do you understand the sense in what I am saying here? So ultimately I could actually be shooting myself in the foot if I bring this up... ?

 

[5string]

One person should not HAVE to tell another whom they can or cannot talk to. Listen. If she's your girfriend, she should KNOW she should not be talking to her old BF. Especially if he's still interested in her. She's not only stringing him along, but showing a lack of respect for YOU. This is a bad mixture. She knows this guy still has feelings and yet still stokes the flames by talking to him.

 

[-Heaven Or Hell-]

Faulty analogy, because sometimes you'll go to the mechanic and all you think it needs is the "gas" to be refilled... and then all of a sudden he says there is a faulty line, and the compressor needs fixing, and while he was looking at the compressor, he noticed your time belt needed fixing and then on and on and on...

At that point, it's definitely better to just get a new car than to try to cost the repairs.

Be careful, she's getting an emotional fix from someone that isn't nearby, which means that you necessarily aren't filling the void for her. If you were, she wouldn't have to feel the need to talk to him.

The girl that you think is so perfect, could actually become a lemon.

And just for clarification sake. You say that they broke up at the end of 2009, which ideally gives you LESS than a year of truly being with this girl. There's no way in the BLUE HELL that you could be sure that this might be the "one" for you.

Confront her, and she'll switch it up on you.
Let it slide, and you'll have to deal with it forever.

Either way, you're going to lose this battle.
And in turn the war.

And that shiny 2010 Lexus all of a sudden seems less reliable and what was a simple problem with the air conditioner, ended up being the grand revealing of a lemon.

I know myself pretty well and what I look for in a woman, and trust me, even though I have only known her for under a year (and dated her for just over 5 months now) I know that she has all the aspects of a woman / potential wife / potential mother, that I look for. I know everything about her, and I havn't found out much faults in her, there are always going to be the small faults, with every woman, but her faults are ones I can live and deal with.

At this point, its impossible to determine if its a losing battle or not, at least not until i confront her with this issue and see how she reacts. We're in a relationship, we're a team, and we're faced with an obstacle, and now we need to work together to over come it, and the answer to weather we can work together (not against each other) to overcome it is when I bring it up to her, so I think that I'll have a much better idea of if its a losing battle after this weekend.

@ Chromeo:

Have fun with the time you get to spend with her. Dont worry about some guy she dated thats a million miles away.

I intend to do that, but I still feel like this issue needs to be brought up and at the very least discussed on a serious note, so that we'll be on the same page about everything.

@ Scion

I think that you are misunderstanding me, I don't wanna change her, not at all, but at the same time, I don't wanna next her just because of a few little things that may bother me. Every girl has her own "lucky packet" with her own set of issues and downfalls, so I am merely trying to tackle them, do what i can to overcome them as a team, together.. and if I realize that after we tried things still don't work and/or we still don't see eye to eye, then by all means I will accept that realization and I will move on.

 

[-Heaven Or Hell-]

One person should not HAVE to tell another whom they can or cannot talk to. Listen. If she's your girfriend, she should KNOW she should not be talking to her old BF. Especially if he's still interested in her. She's not only stringing him along, but showing a lack of respect for YOU. This is a bad mixture. She knows this guy still has feelings and yet still stokes the flames by talking to him.

This is exactly how I feel about the situation, and hopefully by the end of the weekend she will also see things from this perspective.

I just hope that we're not also just only looking at it from my perspective.. because what about her feelings too? I mean fact remains she still likes the person he is and likes talking to him (innocent mindset), and if that is the case I also feel bad by influencing her / making her feel bad if she doesn't cut things off with him. Maybe I should just forget about this and hopefully in time he will find someone else and they will drift naturally? God I'm so confused right now. :crazy: