Girlfriend is pregnant... It's turning me AFC...

[Scorched]

Girlfriend is pregnant... It's turning me AFC...

I previously had this girl on lock down... I didn't care about her that much... I could simply next her and be done with it. Now that she is 3 months pregnant with my child... I found my self being too nice to her... I guess she knows that I won't drop her because it is simply cheaper to keep her... You know what I mean? She knows I don't want to pay child support and I want to be a big part of my child's life. I guess she has me on lock now...? She doesn't text me at 8 A.M. anymore... in fact she'll goes two and sometimes 3 days in a row with out texting me...

I was being ****y and told her "what’s wrong? you look sad, am I not the father? haha! sweet, I can drop your ass now!" She told me, "no, if you weren’t I'd let you know..."

They say relationships are power struggles...
At this point I am feeling powerless...

Has anyone else gone through a phase like this?
How did you resolve it?
I am really searching for answers...

 

[Skel]

Just curious, but have you gotten a dna test to prove you are the father?

 

[Scorched]

She is only 3 months pregnant... My plan is to compair the child to baby pictures of my self... I don't have reason to suspect she has been cheating on me. She didn't distance her self until a few weeks after she found out she was pregnant. Like I said... I've been TOO nice to her recently. I suspect she feels less challenged...

Also I've said a few things that might have been AFC... I'll go over them in a second... But things change once you find out your girl is pregnant... well... I said stuff like... "we'll get a place together... decent neighborhood... I want to be in my kids life..." Also when like we stop at a gas station I ask her if she needs a bottle of water or something... I just feel like I am being a chump and she is starting to treat me like one... But wtf am I spose to do... She's pregnant...

Like I said I guess I want the power back...

If the kid doesn't look like me. Then at that point I'll sneak his ass to the Dr. and have a test done.

 

[Charm]

Sounds like you have Oneitus!

Seriously you need to take charge in terms of activities you and her do. Remember back when you'd say "I'm going to such and such, ill be by to pick you up at 7". Take the power back through your actions.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She's not the one to determine whether or not you play a big part in the kid's life. If you split up, having time with the kid is what you get in return for paying support. Your relationship with her and with the future child are separate things and can exist independently of each other.

 

[backbreaker]

Just curious, but have you gotten a dna test to prove you are the father?

dude, I was going to make the same post

I was going to say first.. let's tie up loose ends.. let's make sure it's YOURS.

You know what I mean? She knows I don't want to pay child support and I want to be a big part of my child's life. I guess she has me on lock now...?

this is what kids can do to you.

However.. ti's not worth being on lockdown for..get a 2nd job.. my freedome is more important.

only a ***** would put a guy on child support without even letting him try to be in the child's life before hand.. child support is a last resort. my mom and dad divorced when I was 7, my mom never had to collect a cent of child support.... he did so much for me she would actually come out cheaper

 

[mrRuckus]

She's not the one to determine whether or not you play a big part in the kid's life. If you split up, having time with the kid is what you get in return for paying support. Your relationship with her and with the future child are separate things and can exist independently of each other.

She has way too much control over this. Our laws are fvcked up. He's lucky if he gets every other weekend with the kid if she decides she doesn't want him anywhere near the baby.

If nothing else, i'm pretty sure there's a service where you mail hair samples in and they'll do parental dna matching. Of course that's not doable until it's born. It really kinda sucks because you'll get SO much sh1t trying to do a dna test where you need her permission to do it while she's carrying it. "DON'T YOU TRUST ME WAH WAH WAH"

 

[Alphamale1821]

Fuuck thsi bro you need to regain control you need to tell her that yuor still going to live your life and after 9 months then she can throw the baby **** on you after you get a dna test. You can still be with her but don't let her control you. For your change in attitude you can say i don't know if it's mine or not. Throw a guilt trip on her since she's becoming a controlling freak biitch. Going AFC is the absoulte worst thing you can do in this situation. I know you want to be a part of your son's life but you need to stand up take control, be a man.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She has way too much control over this. Our laws are fvcked up. He's lucky if he gets every other weekend with the kid if she decides she doesn't want him anywhere near the baby.

That's what lawyers are for. To the OP, now would be a good time to start thinking about who in your family would help pay for an attorney if it came to it. Your family will have an emotional attachment to your child as well, and parents/grandparents will often pay a lawyer so that they don't lose contact with their grandchild.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Compare baby pictures???? Are you F-en kiddin' me??? Is that your foolproof way of determining if it is yours? Cause we all know that babies, at a few weeks/months old, all look like their father's baby pictures.

I was gonna ask how you allowed that "accident" to happen and for her to get pregnant. You probably used some of that same logic. Still, I'll ask, how did you allow for her to get pregnant?

 

[Obsidian]

I said stuff like... "we'll get a place together... decent neighborhood... I want to be in my kids life..."

Maybe you should propose marriage first and judge her reaction before you start talking so seriously?

Compare baby pictures???? Are you F-en kiddin' me??? Is that your foolproof way of determining if it is yours? Cause we all know that babies, at a few weeks/months old, all look like their father's baby pictures.

Actually, they do; it's an evolutionary mechanism. But I'm with Skel and backbreaker: Get a paternity test. Never trust a hor!



Btw Scorched, you do indeed sound like a chump. You miss her because she won't text you at 8am? She goes days at a time without TEXTING you? Aww, poor baby. :crackup:

How about you try reading the DJ Bible and grow up a bit? Texting is for girls, not men. Pimp the hor; don't chat with her over the phone.

 

[wjh]

Consult with a lawyer, too.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

When baby is born...

1. Go on Ricki Lake
2. Deny that it's your kid
3. Paternity test
4. ?
5. Pay child support
6. Move on, find new women
7. Secks them, and try not to get them pregnant

 

[Gangster Of Love]

double post. for the double stubborn.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Actually, they do; it's an evolutionary mechanism. But I'm with Skel and backbreaker: Get a paternity test. Never trust a hor!

OH really? Where's your proof for such statement? Oh, wait, you don't seem to be convinced either, he should go with a paternity test. Too risky to trust a hor by comparing baby pictures? Haha, because we know that there would be no bias when he's comparing the pix? I thought so.

 

[Ken785]

This is Bullc12ap!!! Why does the mom always get to keep the kid and the dad have to pay child support??? that sh!t is equally his as it is hers!! make the hoe pay bro! Is there some kind of gay a$s law that says only women get to keep the child? cuz it always happens like that where the dad pays child support while the mom keeps the kid and for the most neglects them by leaving it in the living room to play by themselves while they go fvck their new boyfriend in the other room!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Great, another hor's baby enters the world by so-called "accident!!" How many out of wedlock pimp/hor babies are there in America - at least one third or is it half of the population?

Don't be a damn fool - it is your right to get a DNA test - do you have the money?

If she opened her legs to you then she will open them to others - what is to stop her? Get this through your head - you are no one special!!!

Sounds like you have Oneitus!

He has "Twoitis" now!!"

 

[Alphamale1821]

I'm still curious as to how this "Accident" happened. Were you wearing protection, was she on Birth control or were you guys playing with fire by the pull out trick.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Lets call up Maury and book a show!

 

[penkitten]

congratulations on your new baby...
but...
you need to take a long hard look at yourself, and what you want.

if you do not want to be with this girl, you should tell her now instead of leading her on. right now she thinks that the 3 of you will end up this big happy family. leading her own will only make it worse. TRUST ME!!!

being with her and being a father are two separate things. when the baby is born, you get the dna test done and then get a lawyer so you can go to court to determine what child support is fair for you to pay and when it is fair for your visitation.