Girl was real physical now nothing...

[Blown5.0]

been going out with a chick ( old friend ) for about a week. every time we saw each other she was real physical kissing...wanting me to hold her at night...we messed around a little....

last night i went over to see her...and i noticed she sat away from me on the couch...then as i was leaving she gives me a hug and turn her head...as if she didn't want a kiss...wtf

 

[Jay Dee]

...we messed around a little....

Should have messed around a lot...

You need to back right off now, if she's doing that, either give a week or 2 before contacting, or wait for her to.

Edit: Oh and keep gaming some other gals so you don't worry too much about this one, they may be more compatible.

 

[sharkbeat]

then as i was leaving she gives me a hug and turn her head...as if she didn't want a kiss...wtf

Next time she did it again, hold her head and kiss her. My girl has done it to me too several times.

She's testing you how much you are into her.

 

[Blown5.0]

as i was walking out the door...i look back and give her a quick hug, and see gives me a really quick kiss....like she didn't care...

but im gonna back off for a bit...it just kinda threw me off a little the way she was acting....


how should i play it after a week or so...she starts asking questions " so why haven't i heard from you.... "?

 

[Jean Valjean]

my opinion is she is feeling insecure and slutty (no girl wants to feel slutty) and uncertain about you


you probabbly need to back off or you will come across as real needy ..girls change their mind for unknown reasons

best you can do is spin some more plates and don't worry too much about her it may not go anywhere further or she may

try to win you back if you say no prob and just cool it with NC


oh forgot to say

she probably met someone (new guy) and is feeling guilty ...wants to LJBF you now to clear the runway for the new guy
happened to me recently

 

[sharkbeat]

She's into you, and she wants to know if you are into her. She's distancing herself from you and at the same time asking "why I haven't heard from you?" really means that she's *that* into you, but she's being careful of investing more emotion in you unless you show her that much back to her.

Like I said, next time you are together again, and she pulls off that cheek again, be assertive, grab her face, and kiss her on the lips. She sits away from you? Tell her to come and sit next to you. She'd like it.

 

[Jean Valjean]

sure try what sharybear says but if it is still no go

do NC

 

[Blown5.0]

she hasn't said " so why haven't i heard from you.... " yet...i was just asking what i should do if she did.....

me and her have a past..we have been through a lot of **** together...and the first night we went out ( last weekend ) she keeped saying how much she missed me and things are different between us now...but we have always been friends before...maybe kissed here and there but nothing along these lines...

and shes VERY insecure about certain topics!....and shes known to play games. so i dont know if i should take her seriously or not.....

 

[Blown5.0]

if i was to grab her head...and kiss her...couldn't that blow up in my face?

 

[Your_Royal_Flyness]

I'm going to highlight some KEY PHRASES you need to pay attention to and will make some commentaries:

been going out with a chick ( old friend )

An "old friend" almost certainly means she also views you as a safe, confidante...not someone she'd risk being physical for. Women normally have a problem with getting physical with guys they consider friends (that they've never been intimate with). This is why so many guys get "stuck" in the friend zone

for about a week. every time we saw each other she was real physical kissing...wanting me to hold her at night

Whenever a female wants you to "hold her at night" it is either because she is lacking affection. It also almost certainly means that another guy (or other guys) are banging her (having sex w/o strings attached) and she needs to feel validated, emotionally. If a female ever wants to "just be held" by you, always assume her true sexual needs are being met elsewhere.

...we messed around a little....last night i went over to see her...and i noticed she sat away from me on the couch...then as i was leaving she gives me a hug and turn her head...as if she didn't want a kiss...wtf

Once again, it seems like she's either getting her needs met elsewhere, or she is feeling conflicted about messing around with a "friend." In any event, pretty much your only option is to spare yourself and get at other women. Like I posted on another topic, once this female senses that you are successful with other ladies, she will likely try to "up the ante" and get back with you.

 

[cola]

You had your chance. She initiated intimacy in her own feminine ways and you blew it through complacency and lack of escalation, and 9x out of 10 she now views you as a pvssy.

As harsh as this sounds, now I hope you learned a lesson..

Better to jump in the tub when its hot, than wait till its unbearably cold..

 

[sharkbeat]

if i was to grab her head...and kiss her...couldn't that blow up in my face?

Likely no if she's into you. Do it gently, of course. Don't do it rapist style. If she resists, then it's a big red flag and move on.

 

[Blown5.0]

lack of escalation my ass...

the first night we were together...we were on the couch going at it...and she stopped because she said her roommate would be home...

i have not held anything back......


and as far as friends go....i even brought that up...and she told me thing are different now between us.

but im not gonna look to far in to things with her....


all i was asking was if a girl goes from being physical then nothing....pretty much over night, what the deal is....

 

[Igetit!]

lack of escalation my ass...

the first night we were together...we were on the couch going at it...and she stopped because she said her roommate would be home...

So you say from the very first night you two were together,you two were "on the couch going at it".



And in your original post,you said...

...every time we saw each other she was real physical kissing...wanting me to hold her at night...we messed around a little.

There are several reason why this could be like the other posters said...

She met someone else.
She doesn't want to feel slvtty.
Lack of escalation.



My guess would be both the lack of escalation and ASD (anti-slvt defense).



You said that from "the first night you two were together",you two were going at it. And not only the first night,but each and every time after that when you two were together,you two were physical with each other.



Seems to me like she doesn't want to be view as just an sex object by you.


I know this may sound crazy,but do you think it's possible for you two to hang out/spend time together and not get physical/sexual?


Go out somewhere. Walk with her,talk with her.

See what she has to offer other than sex.


You've established the fact that you two are sexually attracted to each other. She knows you're sexually interested in her.


The two of you getting physical each and every time you see each other made that clear.



So besides sex,what other reasons do you think SHE WOULD THINK you'd want to be with her?


Can you think of any?




I doubt you can. You know why?



Because the sex/sexuality is in the way. It has to be,because that's ALL you two do when you're with each other.


And she's starting to feel that.




I say take her out...ON A DATE....not back to your couch.


Take her out and spend time together. And for pete's sake,learn SOMETHING about her other than her cup size.



It's ok to hold her hand,or even kiss her while you're out,but after the date,TAKE HER HOME....to HER HOME,and drop her off.




Do that at least 2 times BEFORE you try to take her back to "the couch" again.