Girl friend issues...

[Scrat]

GF of 2.5 months, we were friends for many years before it. We both had feelings for each other, and decided to become exclusive.

in the past 2 weeks she's been acting differently, kind of feeling a lost connection between us, i suspect she is talking to her ex.

Friday night 6pm I ask if she wants to hang out tonight, she says no, she has plans, "hanging out with some uni friends (girls night out), dinner and maybe clubing after"

I tell her ok cool hf, and i make plans of my own with the boys. we decide to hit the clubs that night too and drink it up to let off some steam.
woah and behold I catch her with the ex, just the two of them.

I'm shocked and heart broken by this. almost ruined the rest of my night (it was about 12am)... but decided to shrug it off. anyway.. long story short, the next morning i call her (thoughts of her cheating run through my head the enitre night.. feels bad man, couldn't sleep well) and just ask whats up with that? you told me one thing and you're doing another.

She said she had to lie because she thought I would of not let her hang out with him. (she says its just friends, i'm thinking what a load of bulls**t) I'm not controlling, i'm just upset that she lied. I get the feeling (body language etc) that she wants to spend time with him more than me.

What should I do...? I've been hanging out with a good friend of mine all day trying to keep my mind off it and just do normal things.

There was one cute girl at the gym I met before this, maybe try re-initiate with her? End my current one and let the ex get her back? or fight for her back?

I think it'll be awkward next time i hang out with my gf.

How do you deal with this..

 

[Tiguere]

She lied to your face. Its time to grow some balls and end it.
I find it suspicious that you coincidentally saw her at the club.

Be honest with yourself ... You went to that club knowing she was going to be there or was it just fate?

 

[scribblec]

if the girl i was exclusive with went on a club date with her ex i would drop her on the spot... i mean every time ive gone back to an ex girl even if she got a man she would still end up getting fked by me

theres nothing to do here accept tell her in a non emotional way what she did was not acceptable and drop her like a rock then go find urself a new girl

 

[Johnnyventana]

She's clearly undecided. If you chase and make your interest level known, she'll run right to him. Pressure her not to see him, she'll want him more. She's wants the ex because she doesn't have him. Don't let her think she has you.

That all said. It's kind of over. Will you ever trust her again? Has your opinion changed now that you know she will lie and sneak around? I'd probably get in a couple extra taps and move on.

It a mess because she made it a mess. And to think, prior to this she was your 'friend.' Some friend. You might want to LJBF her, and then you'll be the "EX" she secretly sees!

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

She lied to your face. Its time to grow some balls and end it.
I find it suspicious that you coincidentally saw her at the club.

Be honest with yourself ... You went to that club knowing she was going to be there or was it just fate?

Doesn't matter why he went there. The fact of the matter is the girl lied to him and disrespected him...Probably even cheated on him. You really can't do anything but break up with her unless you want this to keep happening to you. You can either prolong this failed relationship and not break up with her or you can do what you need to do and end the relationship.

 

[sinnerman]

feel sorry for you mate. i know how it feels when the women you love contacts or allows an ex to contact her even if its just being friends or whatever. plus lying to your face and not asking if you're comfortable with it is a massive red flag.

all you can do now is go No Contact. And it has to be ABSOLUTE NO CONTACT. Dont confront her, dont ask her anything just go cold turkey. let her contact you, beg you, whatever GO NC and hopefully find a better gal. and if you still cant get over this gal then only take her back if she cries and pleads you take her back. The point is let her know the consequences of her actions. if she doesn't contact you then i think you've your answer right there. she doesn't care about you and is prolly with the ex in that case it allows you to move on.

all the best.

 

[European-DJ]

Long story short; END IT ...

Unless you guys had some crazy ass agreament, that lying is OK.
- A lie to the face, and about stuff like that, is serious... I would not doubt 2 seconds, i would end it, and get on - might be tuff in the start, but it will vanish

 

[Scars]

Doesn't matter why he went there. The fact of the matter is the girl lied to him and disrespected him...Probably even cheated on him. You really can't do anything but break up with her unless you want this to keep happening to you. You can either prolong this failed relationship and not break up with her or you can do what you need to do and end the relationship.

This.

Seriously man, end it NOW. I know the feeling. I remember catching my ex in a couple lies that made my heart sink into my stomach. It sucks. Don't let her do this to you again. If you let her get away with this it will only progress. If she hasn't already physically cheated on you then she soon will. It's time to take what's left of your pride and keep on truck'n. I like the optimism at the end, you should definitely hit up that girl at the gym. Get another plate or two to keep your mind off her, and don't get suckered back into this faulty relationship again.

-Scars

 

[Scrat]

Thanks guys for all the responses, its over. I feel so heart broken... we were friends for a good 5 years before this. Losing a once best friend now too...

Its done though, time to move on. I let her know lying and all that above was unacceptable.