Guys thanks a lot for continueing helping me, although i feel this is the last question i will ask you guys before it might be truely over.... here it goes...
Francisco yes i did read that, and yes i do feel i am in love. but i dont want to question the love right now, i jsut want to understand what is going on...
ok..
since my last post, she called me back, she said she loved me. I said i loved her. we started talking, i told her we belong together, she says she knows, and then i began to talk about my plans and all that and our future and she said she wants to marry me but her parents wont let her marry a guy with no job.. ok wtf?
anyways, i think i rambled on too much because she wasnt really responding, and then she just hung up. i was like wtf. ok maybe her parents walked in.
i am on the way to an adult empornium... so here i am waiting at the bus stop, she calls me, asks me where i am, itell her, she asks why im there, i said its a suprise, she said "pleae tell me".. i said shed have to see for herself tomorrow (she plans on sneaking from school to see me at my apartment)
so i talked to her and she said she was sad.. im like. .what the hell , why?? she wouldnt tell me, i asked her"are u still having second thoguhts about us?" and she said, idont know, i know in my heart that i love you and i want to be with you but i dont know. and im thinking wtf... and she says that she does think its a good idea that we have space between eachother, and then i asked her if she is still considering as being single, she said yes, and im like .............why? the only reason ud do that is to let guys know ur available. she said.. i dont want to fight... and i said, well we need to talk about this, i wanna understand whats going on, and she said she just see me tomorrow, i said no and no tried to keep her onthe line and she hung up...
i go to the adult superstore, i get 2 nice ****oral vibrators and lupricant. i get out. i wait at the bus stop... but now i think it was a bad idea, maybe i should of just bought a fake vagina for myself....
i call her again.. she didnt pick up. seh calls me back..
"did you just call me?? yes
"why?" cus i wanna talk to you
"i dont want to talk right now whey..." why not?? whats going on.
"i dont want to talk right now!! okay?!?! stop calling me. ill callyou tomorrow. "
we need to talk about this, u cant just run away okay, we need to talk about this i want to know what ur afraid of.
"no we dont need to okay, i dont want to talk to you right now. stop calling me. bye"
okay...... little by little.. im starting to feel like she isnt the girl iwant to be with... bu tthen again, what if she really does love me and shes just confused, imean, idont want to just move on so easily when theres hope, but then again, if shes just playing games with me and she is just crushing on another guy from her school then i wouldnt have a problem moving on. i just dont want to keep pushing it and pushing it trying to get her to be with me again..... but then again what if shes testing me to see if i really do love her, fck,, so many questions ....
guys please have an answer... whats going on.. what do i do?!?!!?
Noooo! I read the e-mail a dozen times. I could not believe she was writing this after all the cheap shots and lies at the time of the break-up. And at this moment, I knew there was only one way of winning this and that was: not replying. 
