Girl doesn't return your calls: Call her out or just move on?

[DJMaC23]

To keep a long story short, I had met this girl at work (she was a customer)...took her out for lunch and to a museum, it went ok but no kiss close or much kino (we were on the metro train and I don't feel very comfortable with PDA)..so anyways she ends up coming to my work to get a prescription filled about a week and a half later...it just so happens to be around the time we close for lunch so I tell her to come grab something to eat with me.

We eat and then she talks about how she might have to go out of town for a while to tend to a sick brother and how it's a hard decision to make because she is currently in night school. If she were to take care of the brother then she would have to repeat the entire program of which she only has a few more months to go. Anyways we open up again and I have to grab the phone so she gives me a tight hug goodbye and then I make the mistake of calling her a bout an hour later telling her I couldn't focus (i was kidding i just wanted to setup another date)...so anyways of course our schedules totally clash as i work during the day and she has night school..I tell ok we'll talk in the week (this was a Sunday) and see when we meet up, she says cool. Week passes by no call from her....I call her up on that following Saturday but no answer, leave a voicemail and she doesn't call me back. I call her again on that Wednesday and she doesn't pick up her cell (bad reception at her house too) so then I call her house phone. Her mother actually picks up and then I tell her my name and that I'll call back some other time. Another week and a half passes by, then I decide to give her one last call and of course after a couple rings it goes to Voicemail...I only left the one message, but obviously if she had any interest she would have made the effort to call me back. Her numbers were deleted from my phone and she has been deleted from any possibility of anything occurring between us.

However I'm honestly hurt over how she could accept my lunch and then just not at least have the decency to call me back and put in some nice terms that she doesn't have any interest in me or whatever..it really angers me the amount of disrespect that she has given me. I must have been too nice or been too desperate or something...

Anyways I was thinking of shooting her some kind of email and expressing how disrespectful her behavior was but no hard feelings, as I know my pharmacy has the lowest prices and is closest to her..she takes pain medication for a medical condition she has...i wouldn't want her to stop going there just because shes afraid she will run into me and then i would make some sort of scene (far from it, i'm working on myself now before I work on other prospects)...

Should I send her an email and then write her off or should I just continue as I have and just write her off completely

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Don't send her a email. Forget about her. She could be busy with her sick brother and night school. But, it seems there is no interest so, move on to the next fresh meat.

 

[verysuave]

hey man, you make think some of the guys here are trolling when they say move on? seriously, move on. Cuz she's gona think you have no other options if you call her again. If she was interested, she'd call you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

hey man, you make think some of the guys here are trolling when they say move on? seriously, move on. Cuz she's gona think you have no other options if you call her again. If she was interested, she'd call you.

This is true. Why waste energy getting pissed off, it can effect your game later by having a pissy attitude. Move on, it just opens the opportunity to hook up with someone better.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Anyways I was thinking of shooting her some kind of email and expressing how disrespectful her behavior was but no hard feelings, as I know my pharmacy has the lowest prices and is closest to her..she takes pain medication for a medical condition she has...i wouldn't want her to stop going there just because shes afraid she will run into me and then i would make some sort of scene (far from it, i'm working on myself now before I work on other prospects)...

What exactly are you expecting to accomplish by sending this email? Secondly you said you don't want to make it akward for her to come in and pick up her pain medication but your going to let her know how disrespectful it was for her not to return your phone calls?? How is that disrespectful? She had a casual lunch with you, and you two never hooked up so she's actually doing the right thing by not leading you on. Sending that email would definitely make her avoid your store AND make you look desperate, so don't do it!!

Move on, and learn from your mistakes.



PIMP

 

[lYlasTer]

If she was interested in you she'd call. move on and find someone else. Maybe once you find someone else she'll get jealous and come to you. But at this rate nothing's going to happen.

 

[Obsidian]

Do a forum search for the "Anti-Dump Machine" series by Pook, and you'll be able to answer your own question easily.

 

[DJMaC23]

Yea you guys are right I know what I need to do...or in this case not do. Just needed some reassurance I'm on the right track...thanks

 

[Cash37]

Stop wasting time on attention *****s. There are a billion women in the world, trust you can find another

 

[Nighthawk]

There's no 'sick brother.' She was bailing asap, worried you were going to t
try and turn a coincidental shared lunch into something more.

In her mind she thinks 'How many time to I have to give this guy the brush-off before he gets the message. Geez, I hope he's not a stalker-type.'

However I'm honestly hurt over how she could accept my lunch and then just not at least have the decency to call me back and put in some nice terms that she doesn't have any interest in me or whatever..it really angers me the amount of disrespect that she has given me.

...

 

[Bonhomme]

Just move on. Getting pissy does no good. Only "call a gal out" if she does something blatantly disrespectful, and then do so coolly and firmly.

 

[knglerxt]

There's no 'sick brother.' She was bailing asap, worried you were going to t
try and turn a coincidental shared lunch into something more.

In her mind she thinks 'How many time to I have to give this guy the brush-off before he gets the message. Geez, I hope he's not a stalker-type.'

Calling someone a couple times is very far from stalker behavior. If she thinks that, she's the one with the problem.

 

[DJMaC23]

So I have an update: She wrote me this email, and I was wondering if I should reply to it (age difference is 4 years, not 6 like she wrote lol)
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Hi ******, i know that this is long overdue and I'm sorry that it has taken so long to contact you, life was just overwhelming for me and I didn't handle things as best as i could have...i went to colorodo for a little while, my teacher was cool enough to keep me marked in as present while i was gone and tonight was my first night back in school, my brother is hanging in there, he received some more bad news while i was up there and was diagnosed with testicular cancer and is now undergoing chemotherapy on top of the physical therapy hes doing to help his arm and leg function better after the stroke...i know you tried to contact me, but I recall we had a conversation where we both stated that we hated when people kept on calling without giving the person a chance to call back and that it was something that made us not want to deal with them or call back, and so i thought that you'd be the last person to do it, but you did it several times and I just felt like i didn't need something else to deal with...i think i thought i could look past the age difference but in reality i think its a little too much, maybe if it was just 2 yrs or so, but 6 yrs makes a big difference for anyone...i had a great time hanging out with you but I don't think that anything beyond friendship is what i'm willing and able to put effort into....i hope you can understand and respect this, i respect you which is why i'm writing this email, because you deserve to not be left hanging, however late it is, i still felt you deserved it late or not...i hope your life is treating you well
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wanted to reply and skool her on how not to judge by age but by character...I could care less about getting her, it's been over a month since we last had contact and I am not interested in the least bit anymore

 

[eyedogg]

What does your instinct tell you bro? She wrote "friends" already - that should sum it up.

 

[st_99]

What is it with chicks that need to get one last form of contact in before they say goodbye forever? They always do it.

Anyway, don't respond. Just leave her hanging.

Also, that email cracks me up. Dont buy into the age diff, you calling to much, or she has too much on her plate at the moment. These are just excuses she is coming up with because she just isn't digging you. Has nothing to do with what she mentions as the problem.

What she really meant to say was you're just not attractive, strong, funny, or cool enough for me to like you. Sorry. (not to say you arent those things to some girls, but in her eyes you're not)

Brad pit could call her 20 times a day and be 20 years older than her and it wouldn't be a problem.

 

[FutureSpartan]

Move on my friend...too many other attractive women in the world to worry about this one.

 

[DJMaC23]

oops i forgot to mention that I'm 4 years YOUNGER, not older than her..lol
you guys speak the truth...so just leave it be don't respond right? that does sound like the right thing

 

[Baruch]

Just let it be man, from my personal experiences, I learned its always the best to leave em hanging. You got much more important things to do than reply to this email.

 

[rrrrr]

BS. Some of you are so quick to jump on this girl's remarks, saying she's lying about the age thing, that she just doesn't think he's hot, funny, etc, as if he has some flaw he can't overcome. Yes, if he was Brad Pitt maybe he wouldhave had a chance, but he's not. Age CAN play a role in a girl's head, especially if he's YOUNGER than her.

Plus he called her multiple times. I think that was the dealbreaker. He should have called 1 time no more. I think he came on too strong by leaving all these messages, calling, etc. She's like "lay off man."

So in a different situation and a girl younger than him he can do fine, enough with these posts that give the impression he has some major flaws and that's why she's dumping him.

The lesson learned here is don't call so many times. If a girl is interested, she will call you, e-mail you. I just find it ironic she left this long explanation of what her brother's going through and then says it's over. She then says you could be friends. The only thing I can imagine is spending time with her and making her convinced the age thing is not an issue but it probably won't happen.

 

[Itiswhatitis]

Wow u cats are harsh,she said they had a conversation about not calling to much because they found it annoying but he did anyway. She couldve left him hangin but took the time out to write a email...all the storys guys have given of woman blowing them off completely and one writes a email that has a point and u guys are still mad at her. He looks like a scorned woman by not responding.Nobody said he has to go beg for another date or make excuses for why he called. But he should acknowledge he recieved it,he hopes her brother gets better and that he doesnt have a problem with it.Keep it short and sweet and he comes out lookin much better and with sum class than lookin like a scorned man.Not responding screams "fuk u b1tch,im mad u rejected me and didnt call bcuz i luved u and had nuthin better to do while i waited on u to call".