frustrated. getting a gf *MUST* be easier!

[belividere]

Great thread. Personally I am finishing up work in grad school right now. I just realized that I have a few months left of being on the college scene and as of last weekend decided to take full advantage of it. Graduate in August so I intend to bag at least 5 girls before that.

So far since I have been in school forever and surrounded by young women I haven't had you problem. I know it will come though. At the same time though I am excited about it. I will have to re-think my entire mindset and try that much harder since I will be starting anew. It is that much more of a challenge.

I see where you are coming from though. I have had a whole slew of meaningful relation****s in my day. I also have had a few ltr's that I wish I didn't. But again I have to agree with what has been said already, you are being needy. Looking for a wife, which it seems that you are, is causing you to lose the sight of what is in front of you right now.

It is going to take a lot of worthless relatoinships and cheap sex for me to actually realize what I want. As much as I pretend to hold the ideal of what I want in a women in my head it always ends up changing. That change is accompanied by experience. The more girls I date, the more girls I realize aren't right for me. Without experiencing what I don't like I would never truly know what I do.

 

[The_411]

Donald,

my guess is that the quality women flee to museums, art galleries, ski slopes, restaurants, coffee shops, and just about any place that affords the illusion of something happening.

Other than that you can find quality women at DJ'd events although you'll find some hot women that need their heads examined by a shrink.

 

[Caldus]

Hey guys,

I'm kind of like that too even though I'm in college. I've been through all of the stuff like meaningless dates and cheap sex, etc. but never been with a girl that I felt like I truly connected with. Actually, there were maybe two girls that I was actually really interested in (for reasons other than me being physically attracted to them) but of course nothing ever happened with them. I would go one or two dates with them and that's it. Nothing would ever happen after that. I can't say that I've ever truly been in love with a girl. I guess in a way that's good.

But here comes the million dollar question: why is it that certain guys can easily get a classy and beautiful women as their girlfriend? I mean you see it right? Some random guy is with that type of girl you've always wanted. You wonder what is so special about him but you just can't quite figure it out. I think it really is true that the more you want a girlfriend, the less chance you have of getting one. But why does it work that way? Weird huh? I mean I'm not desperate for a girlfriend or anything, but you wonder about those things sometimes.

And yes the divorce rates are scary. Makes me wonder if I should ever get married and have kids in the first place. Nothing is the same these days. I say just keep trying to enjoy life without a partner and just continue to keep an eye out for opportunities. That's all you can really do.

 

[Double J]

Originally posted by Caldus

I think it really is true that the more you want a girlfriend, the less chance you have of getting one. But why does it work that way? Weird huh? I mean I'm not desperate for a girlfriend or anything, but you wonder about those things sometimes.

I do, too. Seems like going against the natural flow of things doesn't lead to positive results. It's always better for the girl to be more interested in you than you in her. That puts you in the driver's seat, and ultimately you're going to have the edge in this relationship.

But yeah - the more pressure you exert on getting a girl, the more "nature" seems to keep that from happening.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by SmartOne
You all need to chill out. Does anyone here even realize that the average age for marriage for a guy is 31, thats right 31! not 25 26 or 28. It has raised over the years and so has the divorce rate. Lots of girls are scared to get into LTR's because of all sorts of different bs excuses. I know how you feel though, some of you, 25 - 28 with no girls coming your way, looking as if you may never find that special girl, and its a scary feeling.

I am only 20 and i feel that way, i havent had much luck with relationships ever, i have met girls that were LTR calibur, but it didnt work out to my liking. But i learned that you just have to hang in there, sooner or later, you will run into somebody, you will, its just the way of life, just about everybody finds somebody.

.... dont they?

Most women today are too distracted durin their 20's to think about having kids and being married. When they turn 30 they freak out and realize that they have only a few years left before they can't have any. Problem is by 30 they are older looking and f-cuked over by many guys. Most men don't want an old, used and abused woman for a wife.

So don't worry about not finding a girl. There is only a slim chance that you will anyway so get over it.

 

[ShortTimer]

Re: where are the women?

Originally posted by wiggadude
So I'm asking you guys: where are all the nice, good-looking (I'm not asking for supermodels), reasonably intelligent (I'm not looking for geniuses), non-materialistic, interesting, content women?

I just don't see them.

They're hanging out with the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause.

 

[tmpgstx]

Wiggadude, you post an interesting topic, but more importantly you've discovered that IT IS difficult to meet a woman worth her salt after college!!

Not too mention, most of the good ones are taken and committed by age 25. With all the women on the planet, you would sure as hell think there would be one decent one available that comes on your radar.

You can be really intelligent, handsome, fun and all that, but you're still in the same position, maybe even worse if you're single at or after 25.

I guess this is why my a relative of mine ordered a Russian bride. They're together now, and he just says they met in the city where he lives - lol.

 

[wiggadude]

I may be 25, but I think I can date all the way down to 20 or 21. So yes, while most good women are taken by 25, I can date below that age for another few years.

Originally posted by tmpgstx
Wiggadude, you post an interesting topic, but more importantly you've discovered that IT IS difficult to meet a woman worth her salt after college!!

Not too mention, most of the good ones are taken and committed by age 25. With all the women on the planet, you would sure as hell think there would be one decent one available that comes on your radar.

You can be really intelligent, handsome, fun and all that, but you're still in the same position, maybe even worse if you're single at or after 25.

I guess this is why my a relative of mine ordered a Russian bride. They're together now, and he just says they met in the city where he lives - lol.

 

[AMF]

Originally posted by wiggadude
I may be 25, but I think I can date all the way down to 20 or 21. So yes, while most good women are taken by 25, I can date below that age for another few years.

Yes. Dont forget that most women marry OLDER than them, sometimes much older.

Only the dried-out old hags want a younger man.

Also... men generally get more desirable with age (the features of both sexes get more MASCULINE with age) as opposed to women, who peak young and rapidly deteriorate.

 

[wiggadude]

Originally posted by SmartOne
You all need to chill out. Does anyone here even realize that the average age for marriage for a guy is 31, thats right 31! not 25 26 or 28. It has raised over the years and so has the divorce rate. Lots of girls are scared to get into LTR's because of all sorts of different bs excuses. I know how you feel though, some of you, 25 - 28 with no girls coming your way, looking as if you may never find that special girl, and its a scary feeling.

I am only 20 and i feel that way, i havent had much luck with relationships ever, i have met girls that were LTR calibur, but it didnt work out to my liking. But i learned that you just have to hang in there, sooner or later, you will run into somebody, you will, its just the way of life, just about everybody finds somebody.

.... dont they?

Not necessarily. I know some really great people (guys and girls) who are over 30 who are still single and looking. I'm talking really successful, attractive, intelligent, fun people.

 

[tmpgstx]

Yeah, you can date lower, but if you're not in any circles so to speak (ie. college etc.), good luck - you know how difficult it is after college - said so yourself. Why do you think there are those single, attractive, intellegent people you speak of at age 30? It's because of the reason you stated in your first post.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

I'm a science and number's guy so I like to quantify things.

http://www.prcdc.org/holiday/vday.html

Statistics state that in 2003, average age for marriage in men was 27.1 and women 25.3.

Lots of other interesting stuff on marriage, divorce, etc.

But to every statistical rule, there are ALWAYS exceptions. So as statistics go, I'm supposed to be married right now? Pssssshhhhh!

It would be a grand idea, but, the reason why we all see an increase in very attractive, single, 30 somethings goes back to two things.

1) The p*ssification of american males.
2) Our fast food society.

I have the opportunity in working with seniors that have been married 50+ years. I always ask them what is the secret to a happy marriage. And they all say the same thing..

"You kids today are selfish. Always think the grass is greener. Never want to tough it out."

So back to the p*ssification of american males. Look at the TV shows, the Queer Eye, the Metro, the male who needs to show his feelings. Guess what fellas, women want a MAN..not a girlfriend.

YOU ARE NOT ABOVE THE RULES.

Truth is, women are becoming more and more independant. They buy their own cars, houses, clothes. Its not like the past where she cooked, cleaned, and raised the kids. So you must be EVEN more a man, and less of a p*ssy because SHE WON'T TAKE IT.

That goes into the other dynamic of a fast food society. Along, with independance, both men and women will find it easier to walk away from a relationship because there is more oppornunity to find another mate. Internet, chat sites, classified adds, dating services are more abundant today than the past. So in many people's eyes, its easy to have the mentality that the grass is greener.

Its funny how you hear those songs. Women's Battle Cries...Kelly Clarkson, Destiney's Child...and a ton more where it proffesses independance for women. Nobody wants to depend on anyone anymore.

The irony in it all is that, in the end, all those independant people are alone. Hence, Independant.

 

[bobbob]

Hey, it could be worse ... at least some of you had some fun and met some women in college.

I didn't have any luck in that department BOTH times I was in college. Damn engineering majors ...

The post about "apartment women" is spot on. great observation

 

[wiggadude]

No action in college, both times?

I had ZERO action during undergrad. But I'm 25, and this year I'm goin back to grad school, for probably 5-6 years. Hopefully that will be a good opportunity. I still think a university campus HAS to be the best place in the entire world to meet single women. That's my remaining hope anyways.

Originally posted by bobbob
Hey, it could be worse ... at least some of you had some fun and met some women in college.

I didn't have any luck in that department BOTH times I was in college. Damn engineering majors ...

The post about "apartment women" is spot on. great observation

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

We interrupt this thread with a message from Francisco d'Anconia...

I've posted a thread in the Mature Man forum that may be of interest to you guys.

Interested in reading about a DJs attempt to establish a LTR?

We now return you to this thread already in progress...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bumping to get some more votes in my thread posted in the previous message.

 

[nishbuk]

Wow...Getting down to the nitty gritty, eh guys? I sense some desperation here...don't you? Reeeeelaaaaax...