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Friendship zone or hell? What do you call it?

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Hidden-Danjer, Jul 29, 2000.

  1. Hidden-Danjer

    Hidden-Danjer Master Don Juan

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    "The Worst That Can Happen"

    or, "A Portrait of the Chump as a Young Man"

    You meet a beautiful woman, you don't have the courage to make a move on her, but you become "friends".


    You spend the next several months (or years!) of your life obsessing about this woman, pining for her from a distance, never having the courage to even touch her hand. Occasionally, you'll get a friendly hug or a friendly peck on the cheek, and you will pathetically crave and need these displays of affection, which for her are nothing but friendly overtures, but for you are the tip of some *imaginary* iceberg of lust and sexual furor. You'll go home, lay on your bed, and jerk off three times a day while fantasizing about her.


    You watch her date other men, smiling and shaking their hand, patting them on the back, (because she's your FRIEND, after all). It's like a knife in the gut when they stick their tongue down her throat in front of you, and you can't even allow yourself to imagine them ****ing her because you might have to kill yourself.


    You won't be able to approach other women either because you've convinced yourself that you're supposed to be with this one woman, and it's better to be her "friend" than nothing at all to her. So you'll be alone, just you and your right hand, and the misery will build, the frustration will grow, until it is unbearable. You're rolling around on the floor crying, or bent over clutching your gut, saying "Why? Why? Why won't she love me?" and you decide you MUST do something. Anything! You agonize over it for days, going over every possible permutation of the conversation in your head. You can't sleep at night because you keep running through what you are going to say.


    Finally, over an otherwise totally innocent cup of coffee, you decide to broach the subject. You casually mention that you think the two of you would be better as a couple. Oh, you think you're being so suave and subtle, don't you? But she laughs, because she thinks you're joking, since to her it's so blatantly obvious the two of you could never be more than friends. This breaks your carefully constructed facade (because all of the scenarios you ran through in your twisted, obsessive mind never ended with her rejecting you; that wasn't even a possibility in your consideration). It puts you on the defensive -- you have to rebuild your little fantasy, so you start listing the reasons why you are right for each other and explaining how deeply you feel about her, not noticing the look of horror growing on her face as she realizes that the deepest thing about you is your set of deep-seated psychological problems. Directly as possible she puts you in your place and beats a hasty retreat outta there.


    You, of course, are crushed and hate yourself for being so stupid as to tell her how you really feel. Now you don't even have her as a friend, she's totally out of your life. So you immediately plan to regain her friendship...because "it's better to have her as a friend yadda yadda yadda." You call her or meet her, and totally lie and debase yourself. "Oh, silly me, it was just a crazy idea, I've been lonely, but I'm all over it now, I really couldn't bare to lose your friendship, blah blah blah." She, of course, accepts you back as a friend because she enjoys having you around to give her rides home and go to coffee or movies with between boyfriends. You, of course, are back to jerking off three times a day and living in misery. Somewhere in the distance, though, you can hear a voice. If you strain, you can make it out. . . listen . . . it's saying something to you . . .it's saying something. . . it's saying . . .. "Welcome, young sir. Welcome to Hell."


    THERE IS A SOLUTION!!!!


    The only way to fix this, is to go through the HORROR of getting to meet more girls.. IT will hurt and it will kill and it will make you feel so bad. But in the end you will have girls calling your house asking to hang with you and that cant be bad can it. :) LOL


    And then you will look back and see just how incompetent you were when you were an average frustrated chump. The most noble and commendable thing an wuss can do is take action to change it. Just taking action in itself is a reward in itself. For an average person the change over shouldnt take longer than about 3 months. After which you will probably have already accumulated 5 or so girls. Which is about 5 more than what you would have had if you didnt go and try.

    Go out and approach 4 women every day! Thats only 4! You could EASILY do it in an hour! Yes, you will get rejected MANY times, yes you will be nervous and afraid, and yes you will overcome your fears and start seeing RESULTS!!! How many success stories have you guys seen on this board? Not many. Just a bunch of whiners who arent ready to commit themselves to becoming more succesfull with women. I challenge all of you to get your asses in gear and make a commitment to changing yourself and overcoming your fears!!!

    POSTED BY: Vassago (Oct 3rd 99)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 28, 2004
    Dan Bautista likes this.
  2. speck

    speck Don Juan

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    To me thats one of the best posts I've seen,
    thanks
    speck
     
  3. tomazu

    tomazu Don Juan

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    hey, you're starting your make-this-forum-better plan!? this is very good :-D

    ciao tomazu
     
  4. Hidden-Danjer

    Hidden-Danjer Master Don Juan

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    TZ,

    Thanks man, but it can't be done by one person.

    Everybody needs to do their bit!

    ------------------
    *Hidden-Danjer* -Top english geezer

    And you better believe it matey! :)
     
  5. TestosteroneBoy

    TestosteroneBoy Don Juan

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    HAHAHAHAHHAHAH!! that was right on the button. EVerybody post in, i want this one to go to the hall of fame.

    HALL OF FAME! HALL OF FAME! HALL OF FAME! HALL OF FAME! HALL OF FAME! HALL OF FAME!
     
  6. Hidden-Danjer

    Hidden-Danjer Master Don Juan

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    See?This is getting people thinking!

    We older Dons need to train up these newbies!
    If that means using the old material then so be it!

    ------------------
    *Hidden-Danjer* -Top english geezer

    And you better believe it matey! :)
     
  7. Adonis

    Adonis Master Don Juan

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    Well, I wouldn't mind it if some women actually just turned out to be my friend. As a matter of fact I prefer it and usually the other way around(they don't want to be friends). But, wouldn't want the one I really liked turning into a friend... Nice post - useful for those DJ's who always complain about some woman wanting them to be friends instead of the other....
     
  8. nick james

    nick james Don Juan

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    Man, I haven't read a post as insightful as that in a while. I feel that someone got inside my head and trascribed by thoughts. Thanks for the inspiring words!
     
  9. SuperM

    SuperM Senior Don Juan

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    Damn Hidden Danjer! I have to agree with speck... this is good! Thanks for posting that!!
     
  10. Neophyte

    Neophyte Master Don Juan

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    BUMP
     
  11. The Writer

    The Writer Don Juan

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    The only way out of the friend zone is to make a move. It'll probably not land you in her pants, but it'll end the pining bulls**t once and for all. Then when she rejects you go find a better one.
     
  12. RonJuan

    RonJuan Don Juan

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    Do you follow me around with a camera?

    Really, truer words were never said. But I'm different now.

    So once-and-for-all:

    There are two classes of women. Friends and Lovers. The two are incompatable. One does not cross over into another. Yes, someone can try to tell me that they have converted a friend into a lover, or that they are friends with former lovers (another bad idea) and that is great. I could probably dig up proof of a half-dog-half-cat to prove taht weird things happen sometimes. I think it's about 98% true what was said here, so take it as gospel!
     
  13. deuce20

    deuce20 Don Juan

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    Fantastic post Hidden. I mean, if we all commit to doing that (getting off our fragile-ego asses), this post will burn forever with stories of success and "good times"! This is without a doubt hall of fame material, so let's all take this post and, like Brad says in Fast Times, "live it, learn it, know it"!
    the deuce
     
  14. BGMan

    BGMan Master Don Juan

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    Hall of Fame for this one, and probably the DJ Bible too!

    Make a move! Otherwise you'll slip into the LJBF zone without realizing it. I made that mistake once (see my "Just Ranting... post), and I wasn't here at the time so I couldn't get help. But now I know how to stop this "friends" BS.

    Friends don't let friends get girl "friends"!

    BGMan
     
  15. wave-catcher

    wave-catcher Don Juan

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    that was one of the most right-on posts I've ever read. Hall of Fame material, and I think all of us can identify with you.
    go and make a move on the next hot chick you see, put those skills to work!
     
  16. SoSuave.com

    SoSuave.com Administrator

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    This post has been around the forum for quite some time. About a year ago, HD reposted (this thread) what Vassago had posted in the forum previously (Oct. 99). While this certainly deserves a place in the HOF, it's not... because Vassago was not the author. He copied it from some other place, and only original material is allowed in the HOF.

    But we can, I suppose, put it in the Tips forum for future Don Juaners to read. Moving now.
     
  17. Keymaster of Goza

    Keymaster of Goza Senior Don Juan

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    bump
     
  18. jtws

    jtws Senior Don Juan

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    Originally posted by Hidden-Danjer :
    ===========================================

    You won't be able to approach other women either because you've convinced yourself that you're supposed to be with this one woman, and it's better to be her "friend" than nothing at all to her. So you'll be alone, just you and your right hand.

    ===========================================

    Hell, I'm left-handed [​IMG]
     
  19. Jake Steed

    Jake Steed Master Don Juan

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    This post is brilliant. I'm stealing it and posting it on girlproblems.com, aka AFC-Central. I'd like to see how they react.
     
  20. Aztec

    Aztec Master Don Juan

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    bump.
     

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